Seeking Opinions - Spring,TX

That is horrible! I remember several years ago, I had just gotten my volvo (before 3 children, lol) and a little girl totally dented it with her mother's car door. The mother was horrified! I smiled,and said "its just a car". now, i drive a minivan, too. I think i should take the scratches from tricycles out of my childrens' college funds, that'll show em'! lol. Good grief, I mean, really! I hate this for you. Absolutely ridiculous!

I always try to be Optomistic and reverse the situation before making a decision. If my daughter had accidentally scratched my friends car.... I would definitely pay for the repair.I know I would not appreciate it if my car was the one that had gotten scratched.

did she say it rudely? or just matter of fact? I'm thinking she probably was hinting at you paying her back, but really, she's a mom w/ a minivan, what does she expect? any of her kids could have done it too... I'd ask her if she is wanting you to pay her, but remind her it was an accident & you wouldn't expect payment if the situation was reversed. all also depends on how good of a friend it is, worth getting in a little 'fight 'over or not. if not, then don't say; anything at all..

This is how I would handle it. Yes- it seems silly to get upset about a 1" scratch on the van BUT I'm with the lady whose husband is manic about their cars. My husband is the same way. We have nice cars and he has emphasized the importance of trade-in value, etc - and we do trade our cars in every 3 years so it is important to keep them in good shape. I think that is partially why our almost 18 year old son received a brand new car on his 16th birthday and he has not put ONE ding on that car. We told him that was his car and it was to last him and then he would have to trade it in to get a new one when the time came. And if the car is trashed then there won't be any trade in value. So we fix scratches, etc. That is probably the point of view your friend is coming from. People who buy a car and keep it for 8 or 9 years -or more!-most likely have a different attitude towards repairing small scratches- neither way is better, just different. You both should have discussed this WHEN IT HAPPENED but hindsight is always 20-20. So now, your friend has had the scratch fixed and is hinting that you should pay. Bring it up next time you are together- say "I've been thinking about (or spoke w/ my husband about or whatever opener you can come up with) the scratch and I want to do what is right and don't want this to be an issue. You said it was $500 to repair which seems a little high to me but possibly that is what your body shop charges. I would like to pay for it(split the cost with you) but I will need a copy of the receipt so that I can file it on my home owners insurance- it will go towards my deductible. I'm sorry we didn't discuss this when it happened- but I would hate to lose our friendship over this." Of course, this is if you can afford to pay for it. If paying for her scratch means that you won't get to eat this month- you also need to be up front with her about that. Offer to pay her an amount per month until you have paid her back if that would be the only way. And discuss it with your daughter- explain to her that even though it was an accident,there are consequences and responsibilities. And make sure in the future that if the kids are playing in the drive, the cars are in the street. Safer for everyone that way! Good luck.

I guess that this matter has been resolved, however, this is my thought. What has happened with the attitude that I must be reimbursed for everything that happens to me? You drive a vehicle and it is going to be scratched, dented, dirty, etc. Our society is loosing out with this type of attitude that I must be paid because of ___________. A little child ridding a scooter hitting a vehicle is not criminal intent, neglect on your part or her part, it was an accident. If I had a friend do this to me, there would not be too much of a deep friendship between us. I just wish people would wake up and become responsible for themselves. We step out of our house and we take on a liability. Live with it. If we have "stuff" we take on liabiltiy. Seriously, I hope she asked if you daughter was not hurt in the accident.

Hi S.
Well first off, I believe your friend was making a point with her casual conversation. I think she wants you to pay for the scratch. I know that a lot of men are serious about their cars but I've met some women who are the same way. My husband is serious about all of the vehicles we drive. He wakes up and goes to work and he spends thousands of dollars to purchase a car that he desires. He wants that car to look nice. He doesn't want a scratch. He doesn't want a scratch the size of an eyelash. He parks the cars far away from stores so that people don't scratch up his car. I'm completely opposite of my husband but I respect his feelings. So we have to respect peoples feelings about their stuff. We have 5 children and I (we) teach them not to touch peoples cars with their hands, place things or themselves on top of peoples cars. We teach them not ride their bike, scooters, or skate boards by peoples cars including our cars. Because it's a high value merchandise that most people don't want damaged in any way. So I would say gather up the $500. Ask to see the receipt, if you see it cost $500 pay it with a check or money order. Put on the check or money order "paid in full for scratch on vehicle". Make a copy of it and keep it for a long time, just in case she ever wants to say you didn't pay for it. Also the next time she comes and visit, tell her to park her car on the street. Because you're children play in the drive way and you don't want them to accidentally do damage to her car. One more thing, I hope I didn't come off as saying you don't teach your children. Because I'm sure you do, I was just using an example of what my husband and I do. I hope this helps :)

That's a tough one.

On one hand you should offer to pay for part of the damage as it was done on your property by your kid.

On the other hand, she assumes some risk by parking near playing kids.

I would offer to pay for half and only half. See what she does. It is a little late and she may feel you are doing it out of guilt.

My feelings are that if she really wanted you to pay, she would have mentioned it immediately. She may be one of those passive aggressive people that mentions things in hopes that others will step up instead of just coming right out and asking. She may be wanting to avoid confrontation.

Good Luck!

Pay for it. If not possible ask her if it's ok to pay half now or half later..based on your budget. Point is you are responsible (b.c your daughter did it, albeit just an accident. And thankfully she is ok too:) It sucks but $500 is nothing considering damaging a friendship. If you make no mention of paying or even trying to chip in than she will notice and there will be a problem. Money is awkward to bring up with anyone, esp. a friend, so she was tactfully mentioning it to bring up the subject and give you a chance to offer to help. It's common courtesy to replace, fix, etc. damaged property in a situation like this. I noticed you say 'a scratch, not a dent' which implies that it is not as important. It is important- it is someone's property. It's not up to us to decide if that person's loss is 'not that big a deal'.
Even though it's been repaired (she was kind enough to drop it and not make things tense and flat out ask for help) but I am sure she would appreciate being paid back.
If your daughter is old enough it's a great way to teach her a lesson and explain to her that you are paying back for what happened and that we are all responsible for what happens or something.. I dunno. Just an idea. GL!

S.,

Just come out and ask her if she intends for you to pay for it - no need to continue being vague which is what she seems to be doing. If she says yes, ask some questions to see if she expects you to pay in full or part or what! Like others have said, she if your home owners insurance will pay for it - it was an "accident" at your home. I am wondering if $500 was her deductible. And I would look at the bill to make sure that is all that was done - make sure she didn't do several things to her car to get up to her deductible.

Talk it out - no need to argue or end a friendship over it.

blessings,
Stacy

Since your daughter scratched her car, it should be your responsibility to pay. However, she should have gotten more than one estimate and talked to you about it first. I think $500 is way steep. I had a dent with a major scratch fixed for about half that cost. Maybe agree to split the cost.

Wow! I gotta tell ya ~ that was a hell of a repair job! Why didn't she just get that scratch repair stuff for 10 bucks? Okay - too late now, I know!
I would have to ask my friend what she expected of me. If I couldn't handle the cost of the repair I would be honest about that. If I didn't think the repair amount was fair, I would tell her that too. In this case, I don't think that's a fair amount for that and also I would hope she didn't get it repaired assuming you'd pay.
I'm not helping.
Very sorry. I have opinions about people spending that kind of money for looks on a thing! If she's that rich to do that and have it not take away from her family, then I'd say that was her decision and you could offer a token amount of what you estimate the cost SHOULD have been for that repair.

Good luck.
D.

My vote is that you should pay. I would suggest getting 2 more estimates just like an insurance company would. If you were in her shoes would you want to have to pay the $500 if her child did that to your car? Now, if you pay and she chooses not to fix the car, I would be highly upset. To accept money from a friend and then not use it for what it was inteded for would be wrong in my opinion.

I would first ask to see the estimate because $500 seems a little high. If it were me I would offer to pay because it was my child that caused the damage. Ask your insurance if they would cover this.

I'm glad it worked out but I have to say I'm amazed that it cost so much. When my parents' vehicles were scratched we would buy a small bottle of paint of the same color (dealership paint ) and touched it up.

Accidents happen! I personally would not feel compelled to pay for the repair. Especially not one of more damage than a 1" scratch.

If you can afford to pay for it, it may be the best thing to do; but ask for a copy of the receipt first for your records. If you can't, offer an apology and a nice gesture that you can afford. But, a sincere apology would go a long way with a good friend. You could buy her that magical pen that I see on TV that eliminates scratches from your car for $20 for future events because she shouldn't have to pay $500 for a small scratch.

Many years ago when my son ran into my friend's car, in her drive-way, my insurance paid for it, but I don't remember if it was the auto or home insurance that paid.

If it were my vehicle that got damaged at a friend's house or even a relative's & they or their kid(s) damaged it, I'd expect them to pay for it. While it's only a 1" scratch, she came over to your home & in doing so, you are responsible for her, her family & kids to be in a safe environment & that includes damage done by either you, your spouse or kids even if it's obviously accidental. The grownup thing to do, I think is to ask for the proof of payment for the damage & go from there. If it's less than $500 then pay for it, if it's more, then pay for it. If it's a bit more than what you can pay at one time, ask her to take payments on it but yes, I think you should pay for it b/c ultimately, on your property, you are responsible.

In my opinion you owe her for the scratch. It was your daughter that caused it and we must be responsible. I do think she paid too much as most scratches can be buffed out. Since you did not tell her she couldn't park in the driveway and most would think they should park in your drive when visiting. I personally would not have mentioned it to you but she did.

Wow. I would never hand a bill to a friend. The amount seems inflated to repair a scratch. If she has not asked for payment, I would not offer to pay anything. The approach for payment sounds fishy. I would put her in the place to have a real conversation about the repair with you, not a passive aggressive action.

HI S.
Next time she visits ask her to park in the street- you do not owe her to fix her vehicle or to pay for the "scratch" I wonder who pays when she goes shopping at the mall or the grocery store and get "scratches"
good luck and blessings

I would def pay it, just so that you're done w/ it! you will feel uncomfortable & akward around her if you don't, I know I would. and to be honest, if the roles where reversed, i would totally expect the same, but i'm pretty anal about my things.

Wow. I would never make an issue out of a scratch. I think that's sad. People make an issue out of such little things. One thing is for sure, though. She was making it very clear to you that she would like for you to pay, otherwise, the comment would have never been made. She probably practiced on ways to confront you before you got there. If you don't come back with a response, she'll be very offended. I'm pretty sure of that. By the way, dealerships have paint pens that are the exact color of the car that sell for about $15.

This is a tough situation. If I was in your shoes I would just come out and ask if she would like for you to give her a little something for the damage....after all it was your daughter that had the accident. I think it also depends if she actually had to pay anything for it or if she had insurance pay for it. But I would definitely ask her if she would like for you to help out with the cost. Mostly when someone brings it up in the first place, it is because deep down they probably wish you would help out with it they just don't want to be forceful. That is just what I would think. Hope this helps.

Hmmmm, what did she say at the time it happened? Like if she said that it was no problem, I wouldn't have worried much about it either but if she seemed really upset then I would have offered to have it looked at and taken care of. The thing is, since she had it fixed and you did not get any input on where etc I say you are off the hook. $500 is a good chunk of change and seems pretty high for a scratch. We have different mechanics for different stuff bc some charge more and we only use them for our older car etc. Anyway, you can do a few things I think. One, you could take care of it, two you could offer to cover half since she went somewhere that you had no power to negotiate, three you could just let it go but the friendship might be affected you never know. I wish you the best money and friendships are tricky. I think if it were me I would offer to cover half and hopefully that would be sufficient. Good luck!

I would leave it alone. It was an accident caused by kids playing--it happens. 500 for a scratch? that sounds like a lot and this mom sounds as if she doesn't understand that kids are going to play and bump into stuff. If it was a major dent, I would say okay, pay something, but a scratch--no. If she wanted you to pay then she should have said something more and not this passive way of bringing it up.

You should definitely offer to pay for the scratch! I made a 1/4" scratch on a stranger’s car when they weren't around, and left a note. Yes, paying the $500 hurt, but it was the right thing to do. It will also be great opportunity to talk with your daughter about taking responsibility.

Personally I tell you I am not surprised by the price, because even it is a small scratch actually taking it out is usually a lot more work than just filling or covering the scratch... of course if you want for it to look like nothing happened, which I assume your friend did.

I think that if she mentioned is because in some way she expects you to pay for it but it seems that she is classy enough not to ask for it directly.

If you do not have the money to pay it, have a conversation with your friend and say it straight face, if you have the money, just pay it and keep the friendship without spotfree.

Good luck, hope everything turn out that both of you feel good and forget about the incident.

My first thought was no big deal most of the time they can buff those little scratches out. I am sorry you did not disscuss it with her when it happened about paying for it. You could have got estimates from different places and gone from there. I surely dont have a spare 500 espically for a car paint scratch. I think you both fouled up and should have discussed it when it happened. I wouldnt think you were responsible if she didnt consult you on how it was going to be fixed or the price of it. now the law probably says different. I would now go get some prices on " if i had a 1 inch scratch that was really deep and bad (even though it wasnt) how much would it cost to buff it out?" its hard to do it this way because it was already fixed. i would tell her you would have liked to been told about the cost and repairs so you could help fix it but you think that is an outragous price. I had my car painted for about 800 thats the entire car. Mayco or something like that in Corpus Christi. Good luck. not worth loosing a friend over scratched paint.