Hi, mamas!
I find myself in a funny situation. After a recent visit to a local mall, I returned to my car to find a note from mall security saying that they witnessed someone hitting my car. I called the phone number they left, and the security officer said that he saw an older gentleman ease his car into a really tight parking space next to mine. The officer said that when he walked around to the front of the cars a few minutes later, he noticed that the older man's car had red paint on it and my car had tan paint on it (my car is red, his car is tan). The officer took note of the license plate, which he gave to me and advised I call the police department if I wanted to pursue it.
I called the police, and the gentleman who hit me is actually a well-known person in the community. He is also 90 years old. The police officer contacted him and told him what happened. The older gentleman did not realize he had hit me and said that he would pay to have the damage fixed. When I spoke to him on the phone, he told me, "Just tell me how much it is, and I'll write you a check." His tone indicated that he still wasn't entirely sure that he had hit me, but he wasn't going to argue with a security officer's witness statement. He kept saying, "If I did it, I'm sorry."
The damage really is just a 6-inch scratch on the front fender, and I didn't really expect that it would be that much to fix. However, we took it in for an estimate, and the body shop wants to charge us $300. Is this what you would have expected this repair to cost? I feel a little uncomfortable asking a 90-year-old man for that much money, especially since I didn't personally witness it. I have no idea about his financial circumstances. I assume he can afford it, but his age is making me feel awkward about the whole thing. On the other hand, *I* don't want to have to pay it nor do I want to keep driving around with a scratched fender. My ex said that he could try to buff it out and paint over the scratch himself, but he has historically overestimated his capabilities as a handyman. I don't know that I trust that he will do that great a job.
What would you do? Advice?
Thanks!
J.
Thanks, everyone! I just mailed him a copy of the estimate. We'll see if/how he responds.
My car is not that important to me. It has some scratches already (mostly from my kids bikes and the like) and if it were me, I'd let it go.
My dad is 82 and on occasion hits things and doesn't realize it. He knows he does it and if someone came to him saying he scratched their car and there were witnesses he would not argue and pay. It is kind of how older people are.
Three hundred is exactly what a small scratch should cost. Here is the thing, I have had small dings and scratches that I have ignored. Whether you get it fixed is up to you but don't let his age be a factor.
Oh, my, do you guys really think he doesn't have the money? It is three hundred dollars! He has it.
The 90 year old probably has more money than you do, and less time to use it.
He scratched your car, accept his kind offer. I don't see why either of you need to report it to insurance companies if he pays you enough to fix it properly. It's common enough for two parties to avoid involving insurance companies when they can.
I would do the same thing I would do if anyone else hit my car... HOLD them responsible for their actions.
This happened to me a couple yrs ago in carpool line. One elderly woman refused to get in the line and instead, preferred to creep her way through over and over in the tight lanes in order to get her grandchild so he wouldn't have to walk very far and she would not be in a carpool line.
Many times she almost hit people and we honked horns, etc to get her to stop it but one day LUCKY me she hit my mirror. My mirror was bent all the way backward and I had no idea if any damage was done to the door. I was royally po'd and I did yell at her that she knew as well as everyone else in this line that she was going to do this to someone at some point. She gave me her insurance info and by the time I called the insurance company, I was told she had already notified them.
She told them she barely touched my car (I had pictures). The insurance company said this is not the first time this has happened, (no surprise). Then the rep said, the lady said you were driving a smaller 2 door white car. What kind is it and we will repair it. The rep was upset when I replied it is a brand new Mercedes. I ended up with about $500, thank goodness it did not effect the electricals in the mirror. This repair could easily have been over $1000.
Hold this man responsibile and get your car repaired the way it should be. He probably wants to write you a check so you won't report it to his insurance company.
It doesn't matter how old he is, J.. His age doesn't give him a "pass" on damaging someone's car.
$300 sounds like a correct estimate for this repair. I would not let your ex do the repair - painting a CAR is not a job for a handyman. (Sorry, but I'm rolling my eyes on this one. You even KNOW that he historically thinks he can fix things he can't fix!)
Make sure you get a WRITTEN estimate for the work from the shop and send it to the man. Let him write out the check. If it makes you feel better, don't charge him for any overage once the shop does the work (sometimes it costs more than they think it will.)
This car is yours and you deserve to drive around with a door that looks decent - not one with someone else's paint on it, and not one with a slip-shod job done on it by someone who is NOT a professional.
Dawn
Ask yourself how you would handle this situation if he were a middle aged man. In other words, take his age out of the equation, I think that is messing with your emotions. This is not an emotional issue, it is a property damage issue. He damaged your property and he should make it right again. Your lucky the security guard took action, that would make me proud to shop at that shopping center in the future!
The proper thing to do is report it to your insurance company, which will contact his insurance company. This man is offering to pay you cash to make it go away, and you have no way of knowing how many other people he may have hit and maybe caused worse damage. It's not up to us to evaluate other people's finances or their insurance deductibles. Just follow the process and take yourself out of it. It's not right that you should have to cover that expense anyway, but it's very possible that this man should not be driving. Ignore his reputation - it's not relevant. We can't go around letting some people get away with things and others not. He has insurance for a reason. And the state has an obligation to ensure that every driver is a safe driver - failure to report something may result in a tragedy later on, and then how would you feel? It doesn't matter that you didn't witness it - you have a witness statement from a security guard, so just give all that info to the insurance company and let them sort it out.
He is liable. He chose to drive and must be held accountable.
However, it does sound like he doesn't want it reported to the insurance company. Maybe he is fearful his license will be revoked.
I would call him and say that you took it to "X" and they estimated $300. Ask him if he knows of another place to take it to that may be cheaper or if he would like his insurance to take care of it.
If he wants you to have it done somewhere, then have him call to set up payment. Don't pay it yourself and expect reimbursement.
If he doesn't handle this within the week, then call your insurance company.
Personally I would let it go. How many other parking lot scratches and dings do you have on your vehicle? I know I have plenty and I have no idea who to thank for them.
I'll admit the first one was really annoying but then came the second, and the third...
Then there was the shopping cart that I found against my car with a scratch. I put it back and watched it roll backwards out of the cart return. It looks like someone keyed my car. (I put the cart back only to watch it to roll right back so it was the grading of the parking lot.)
Now I did buy a scratch pen from Costco earlier this summer which I have yet to try. I'm interested to see if it works but you have to start with a fresh cleaned car and I just haven't gotten around to hand washing it.
ETA - as for him wanting to pay out of pocket...when I bumped into someone in a parking lot I paid out of pocket. Insurance should be reserved for more 'catastophic' events. If you nickle and dime your insurance company for every ding and scratch than you are going to pay far higher rates than is necessary.
We have a very prominent elderly gentleman in our community who T-boned a brand new car that my neighbor was riding in. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but the damage to the car was quite extensive. The gentleman's insurance paid for the repairs.
What's really scary is that he is still driving. He is quite elderly, stooped over and barely able to walk well, but he drives a huge SUV and is STILL driving even after that accident.
I think if the man that scratched your car is willing to pay for the damages, you should let him. I also wonder when the point comes that certain people, regardless of their age, really shouldn't be driving anymore.
If you feel the estimate is too high, get a couple more. Usually in these cases, your insurance requests at least 3 estimates. You might be able to find one cheaper.
Get more than one estimate and go from there. Is the man willing to pay cash to keep it from reflecting on his insurance?
Just wondering.
Best wishes.
I would just have him pay to repair it.
It is a very common thing to have happen. I've had it happen to my car and have also cringed as I've seen my kids open their doors and hit the cars parked next to us. Twice I have left notes claiming responsibility and offering to pay for the repair, but the car owners never got back in touch with me. I think it's one of those things that goes around and comes around. I also never asked anyone who has scratched my car to cover repairs.
I work with a lot of older drivers. He should pay. It's possible that this might be a result of an age-related health issue which may impact upon his safe driving. Holding him responsible may be an excellent lesson for him to check his driving safety, skills and health. Who knows, your action may save a life in the end!
If it were only about the $, I'd let it go. But, this is also about a 90 year old who is driving and who might be a danger to others on the road. If it were me, I'd tell him, "That's ok, I will pay for it myself, but I would like you to take a behind-the-wheel test at a driver's licensing office." He might get offended, because oftentimes elderly drivers (even poor ones) are reluctant to relinquish their keys until well after the time has passed where they should be driving.
Please whatever you decide, do not take that "report him to the police" advice.
I'm an insurance agent. Take the $300 and have it fixed. Its not worth it to have "damage" on your car if you were to sell it, it brings down the value. His age and/or finances has nothing to do with the fact he hit your car and is responsible to have it fixed. Good luck!
$300 is reasonable for a scratch. If you don't want to drive with it there, then I say let him pay but don't involve the Insurance companies over a scratch.
I wouldn't ask him to pay just because a scratch is no big deal to me and because I wouldn't have noticed it unless it was pointed out, I don't feel like I could have asked him to pay. Anyone could have scratched my car. I have dings and scratches all over my car. It looks like someone was riding a bike and fell into the side of the mirror.
Submit it to your car insurance and file a claim. Get their advice on it and let them handle the whole thing.
I had an elderly man intentionally disobey a traffic sign at the end of my street and cross lanes because he didn't want to wait for a traffic light in order to move into a left hand lane by waiting his turn. A car had waited and made room for me to turn left as the traffic sign indicated and it was safe on the right for me to go. But this guy crossed lanes into oncoming traffic, passing four cars that were ahead of him and speeding to boot, and hit my car on the right side causing $2K in damages.
Had it been only $300 I still would have filed the claim and made sure that my insurance company held him liable for all of it.
I would get it fixed it was his car that hit yours and he has taken the responsibility to have it fixed
I would get the estimate in writing, make him pay, cash the check at HIS bank to make sure it goes through, then report him to the police. He could have hit a person.
Can you afford to pay for it? Would you feel better if you split the cost and didn't go through insurance? When I hit my neighbor's bumper, it was $500 so yeah, it can be pricey. I paid him because there was no need to go through insurance for a bumper ding. In your shoes, even though he offered to pay whatever, I'd spit it with him if it was really important to get it fixed and I couldn't swing the $300 on my own.
