Seeking Mothers for Help on Becoming a Good Wife.

Can you elaborate a little more? I'm a bit confused on what you're meaning. Care to pm me and we can go from there?

Obedient and submissive? I'm confused.

I don't have enough background on how or who you are to help with that.

PM me and I'll see if I can get a list of good books together for you!

Since when, in 2010, do you think women should be "obedient and submissive" to ANYONE? If you are in an abusive relationship, I urge you to contact your local police department and have THEM put you in contact with the right help groups. You could also contact local churches for their direction....please do this for yourself...AND your children.
M.

Is this man telling you that you are not a good wife unless you are obediant and submissive? You are his wife, not a dog.

Our marriage of almost 22 yrs is a partnership. In no way am I obediant or submissive. I am my husband's partner. We respect each other.

We communicate about anything and everything. We look at each other equally. He is not dominant or controlling over me because I am his wife, not something he "owns".

We work pretty much 24/7 together running our company from home. In no way could we be successful if we didn't work TOGETHER because of everthing involved with running a business.

You are a person and I agree with a couple other posts which also say taking care of YOU is part of being a good wife. If you don't know or understand the dynamics of what it takes to run your house, what happens God forbid if your husband drops dead or becomes unable to work?

If a man ever demanded that I be obdient and submissive I would RUN.

Best wishes to you.

My husband of nearly 30 years adores and respects me. He loves it that I think for myself, respect myself, and am not submissive (I am, however, extremely reasonable, kind, and cooperative). We don't fight, and even when we disagree, we come to peaceful and mutually respectful decisions that take both of our needs into account.

My previous marriage was to a man to whom I was extremely submissive, and he did NOT respect me for it. Respecting your husband is important. Caring about his feelings is important. Knowing right from wrong and acting on that knowledge is even more important. Respect yourself, too, if you want to find real happiness.

The 2 of you should be equal, no one should be submissive in a happy and well balanced home.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of answers from moms and wives and you'll probably have to combine all the answers you get to figure out what to do.

Based on the other comments I would add that to be a great wife you also have to be great to yourself. Taking care of yourself will help you be a great wife.

Being a good wife isn't about submission and obedience; it's about knowing what you bring to your family structure and doing that to your best ability; it's about mutual respect; it's about you helping your mate and him helping you.

Good luck to you. Marriage is hard work at times.

Well my husband and I talk a lot about all of this bc this subject is so crucial to marriage but weighing any one side to heavily can cause problems. First I want to recommend an awesome book, it's called Captivating by Jon and Stasi Eldredge, not sure on the spelling but that should get you where you need to be if you look online. It is all about being a whole, complete and healthy woman. It is awesome!! I went through lots of junk as a kid and thought I had worked through most of it and still received so much healing and encouragement from this book, so much so I wrote the authors a letter! I am convinced that nobody can be good for anybody else unless they themselves are happy and healthy. So number one is take authority and control of your own emotional health. Bringing a whole healthy woman to a marriage is the best gift any woman can give her husband I think. After that I say make it your purpose to see that your spouses needs are met. Seek to identify what those needs are and meet them in any way you can. Let him be in charge of meeting your needs and don't withhold from him when he fails at being all you need him to be. Also, be open with what you need and don't expect him to figure it all out. I think realizing that we are different and embracing those differences is huge. When my husband and I were in marriage counseling the pastor told us the actual meaning for submission is to adjust. Adjusting to your husband and being able to learn to flow with him is huge. It isn't about some generic list of rules a wife should follow. It is about her learning who her husband is and becoming a safe place for him to rest his heart. Prov. 31 talks about the fact that his heart can safely trust her. That is important. Of course both parties leave home and meld together, the Word of God points that out. I was actually thinking about this today, how man was alone and God knew that was not cool, so he made this perfect companion, Eve. I think being a great friend and companion to your husband is key as well. I love that I can talk to my husband and laugh with him and just be myself, and hittin' the sheets isn't too bad either;) So in your search for being the wife God intends I would say first of course Prov. 31. I have meditated a lot on this scripture and I love it. My latest revelation is one that has tickled me pink, nowhere in there does it say she keeps a perfect house!;)lol She works hard, is in business, is up at all hours, smiles at the future, doesn't talk bad about her man...but it does not say she cleans 24/7;) Maybe that is just my current justification for my house, but hey it's workin' for me baby! In all seriousness, the Word of God is chief, after that I would steer toward things that take more about how to love and honor your husband and how to have a Godly attitude than things that dictate what your every move should be as a wife. Actions follow attitudes, if you heart is right toward your husband, then your actions will be too. Good luck and so awesome that you want to be a woman that honors and lifts up the man God has for you! Take care;)

.

Given what you have shared about your own childhood - it may be important for you to seek some counseling - either a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Christian Counselor, a Marriage and Family Therapist or your Pastor. It seems that you need to get the old models of how you grew up out of your head before you can start a new model. You know - where ever you go THERE YOU ARE and that means your entire history, so even if you get step by step instructions on how to be a Godly and submissive wife, it is very much human nature to revert to old ingrained models during times of high stress! So, do yourself and your family a huge favor and get some professional advice!

Some of the books mentioned should also help as will discussing the merits of a Christian based marriage with your husband - asking him "what do you think it means for me to be a good wife to you?" And I can not stress enough what Laura said about that often misquoted passage in Ephesians - I am happy to be an obedient wife to a husband who is loving and caring for me as Christ cares and loves the Church! Basically, a husband acting as Christ will not demand things of his wife that are not in her nature or things that dis-respect her!

Good luck.
blessings,
Rev. Stacy Anzick

Well I can answer this way...in my religion (Greek Orthodox) we still "have" to say we (as a wife) will obey and submit to our husbands...BUT, in the same vows it basically, although in convient alternate terminology, says the same for the man. Here's the way our priest described it to us...as a married couple, we have to put eachother and our family before ourselves. As an "obedient wife" I am to put the needs of my husband and my children before my own and he is to do the same. In the eyes of God and the church, this is what all Orthodox Christians should do...put others first. Now, this is 2010, so that is taken with some liberty. Our priest is very nice, and very wise and fairly liberal (especially for a fairly conservative group of people!) so of course he and(and more importantly, I) think that although you should do that, it is okay to think of yourself sometimes too! You need time to youself and to do things for yourself just as your husband does. I think a successful marriage is based on compromise and respect and love of one another. It is certainly not easy, and my 5.5 years is nothing compared to some of the moms on here but I think you just need a little grace. You have been having to do this on your own for a long time and it's hard to let people in and take help, but you must do it, especially in a marriage. Communicate with your husband, let him know how you feel and what you want...ask him how to help him and let him know things that will help you. I think people are coming down a bit hard on you, when I'm not sure if you are being as literal as is being interpreted...and well, if you are, then I still think you need to let your husband in and break down some of your walls. Good luck and hang in there!

I read some of the other repsonses and some have great information. Some are taking the submission and obey the wrong way. God doesn't tell us that when we get married we become a slave. Not only does he tell wives to submit to her husband but he also tells the husband to love his wife the way God loved the Church. The Sunday School class we are all fairly newl married so we talk about marriage a lot and what God wants from the marriage and we talk about the you are suppose to let him be the leader of the household. You should be able to feel that no matter what happens you feel he'll protect you and your children and show you leadership. He also has to earn your respect and trust. I was a single mom for 5 years and had to be the father and mother and everything in between. I grew up in the church and my parents were good role models so I think it was a little easier for me to pick up on when I did get married. When your husband takes on his role as a husband the way the bible intended for him to it's a lot easier to be the "good wife". I am a stay at home mom although I do have a home-based business but I try to keep the house clean and have dinner ready for him when he comes home. I also handle the bills and and most of the matters of the kids due to he usually works late hours.

If you love your husband and show him you do and does the same then your marriage will be the way God intended it without you trying and following rules. etc Sometimes showing your love could mean just making something easier for the your spouse. Try to have a date night once a month if possible and it doesn't have to be something expensive. It could be a picnic in the park or a walk. This will also help keep your relationship strong. I wish you long lasting love in your marriage.

A few tips our pastor gave us when we were getting married:
1 - if you go into a marriage with divorce not being an option your less likely to get to that point.
2 - If you have Communication then you'll still have a strong relationship when the kids have all moved out.
3 - Know that your spouse will at some point disappoint you so put your faith in God and his word.
4 - A marriage is a 3 way relationship You, your husband and God and God should be the head of your marriage.
5 - The correct order is God first, Family second, Career third
6 - And go to God for everything. From fears and concerns to joys and happy times. You can find any answer when you take your question to prayer or th bible.

Ok I know this was a pretty long pos but there is a lot that the bible says about marriage so summing it up isn't easy.
6 -

i think that when you get with the right person for you all this will come naturally to you. I'm not one to be submissive because sometimes a man will take that and run with it and run you into the ground. I go more along the lines of compromise. But i guess that if the man that you are with trully loves you he will not run you over. don't lose your identity trying to be someone/something that you are not just to please a man. be you from day 1 and let your expections be known and he should be do the same. if a person just assumes that you know what they want you will go nowhere. and vice versa. If you have ever watched " My Big Fat Greek Wedding" the mother told her daughter your father is the head of the house hold but I am the neck and the neck turns the head anyway it wants it to go. Let him be the man and head of the house hold but also stand your ground. If you have to wear the pants how can he be the man of the house. so while you are being a "submissive" wife make sure that he is handling his business as a man and husband and father. But also realize that what's good for me may not be good for you. so you may fall into your own groove when you get with that "one". I hope that you can take something from each response on here and also make some decisions on your own. good luck!

Whatever you do, DO NOT LISTEN TO 8kidsdad! Listen to the women who actually know where you are coming from. This sight is for opinions and advice - not judgements, preaching or condescending comments.

I have been married for 25 yrs and went way off the wrong way trying to be submissive and am just now digging myself out of that hole.
With counseling I now know that marriage is a partnership where both people are encouraged to be the best they can be and all they can be. A healthy marriage is where you both help each other to grow.
I just gave my husband free reign, with no boundaries and it was not healthy for either one of us. You can actually cause your husband to go into sin and self centeredness if you do not have healthy self esteem and value yourself and your ideas and opinions also.
Also if you just stuff everything down and give in then when menopause hits you have huge rage and bitterness. That is why so many marriages fail after so many years. Everything you stuff down comes out at some point. It is better to communicate and share what is important to you and how things make you feel as you go along... Believe me.
Also I see how much better off people are where both partners had a say in how their family/home was going to be you have a combined wisdom and sharing.
Do not give your power away. Use it wisely and kindly, but do not give it away.

"Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin, "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" Dr Laura.

It sounds like you are looking for a biblical basis, then I highly recommend the former "Fascinating Womanhood." It really sounds like exactly what you are looking for.

There will always be people that yell at you for wanting to be a submissive wife and tell you that it is an equal partnership. If you believe that the man is the head of the household, but that the woman is the heart, then read Fascinating Womanhood, based on the Bible, in nowhere does she advocate being a doormat but being Christlike towards your spouse.

Some have given you great suggestions here. I highly recommend reading the books "The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Husband" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. Both books were enlightening. Take what you want from them and what will work and leave the rest. Marriage is a partnership. You are to walk side by side and work together. Figure out which responsibilities you each want to be over but keep each other involved or informed about your responsibilities.

First of all I am a church going person, but it takes a husband and wife to raise a family and take care of a home. That means that both have things that they need to do just to keep things going. That does not mean that one can sit down and watch TV while the other works till 1-2 in the morning getting the laundry done and washing up the dinner dishes. Working together as a pair will get things done faster and give both of you the time to just be with each other (as a pair). Do things together they you like. Fishing, swimming, movies etc. Learn to do some of the jobs that the other might do, mow the lawn, do the laundry, change the sheets. Now in the present time we both need to keep an open eye on the kids just to keep them safe and away from people that may lead them in the wrong direction. It will not work if only one person does that job.
LEARN TO WORK TOGETHER, AND LEARN TO DO NOT ONLY YOUR JOB AT HOME BUT ALSO THE OTHERS.

I agree with the book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." The best, most practical book out there that your husband will LOVE you for taking the advice.

I struggle with this also - but in the bible it does say that - yes you should be submissive to your husband, but not in the doormat kind of way, he has to treat you like a princess to earn submission.

I find that all my husband really wants is for me to appreciate what he does, i.e he works lots of hours, so I make sure there is a meal on the table for him, I serve it too him and bring him a drink. I don't nag him immediately when he comes through the door, or just before he leaves.

I try to "big him up" in front of people, pretending I don't think he can hear me.

I hate to be submissive, it goes against everything in me, but I make sacrifices for a happy marriage.

there are some things I fight for, eg I wanted to go back to school, it is very important to me that I have a degree so if anything happens I have earning power, he didn't want me too, but I fought for it, and now I am going back to school.

I don't (I try anyway!) not to get cross with him if he is not helping with the kids or housework if I have not asked him to do it - if I ask him, he will usually help, but if I don't, he won't.

If your church has marriage counseling, that would be a great place to start. My husband and I went through it before we got married and one of the things the pastor talked to us about is the idea of submission. A lot of non-Christians and even some Christians don't really understand this but when it says in teh Bible to be submissive, it doesn't mean like a dog. You're not supposed to just sit there and say, "yes hubby" to everything and be his doormat. Instead, teh Bible is telling you to be submissive by allowing your husband to be the head of the household and by holding him up and not cutting him down as a husband or a man. The husband, in turn, is to love his wife and in loving her, be submissive to HER. So you have two partners submitting to each other's wishes and desires so that you both end up trying to do right by each other. It's a little hard to explain..hope that made sense. Go see your pastor for more details! :) And just so you know, I didn't have the best upbringing either but just the fact that you're thinking of this and willing to really make your marriage work says a lot. We don't ahve to be defined by our pasts. If you make a decision to be a good wife and mother and you commit to that goal, you will be. Best of luck!

Try reading the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

It depends on the husband and wife in question. Some men need, want and appreciate a strong women who can be counted on to run the family and the home. The tradition in my grandfathers generation (in my family at least) was at the end of the day, the man would come home and dump his earnings into the apron on her lap and it was up to her to pay the bills, manage the budget, and make the purchases. His job was to earn it - her job was to make sure it was saved and stretched to provide what the family needed. Other men need some arm candy and hire maids and nannies and accountants to manage the home and family. There are a lot of ways a couple can split up what needs to be done. There is no right or wrong way to do it as long as the couple is in agreement on how to manage and it works for them.
I think it's best to be prepared as best you can for any eventuality. Even if you are happily married and Hubby handles the bills and everything, what happens if he becomes incapacitated (run over by a bus, has a stroke, etc) and you don't know what to do? No one plans to fail - they just fail to plan.

Its great that you're thinking ahead, but if you are not with someone now, then you should just live your life and work on beign the best YOU that you can be. Whoever comes along will be a good match for you to start with, if he is for you. Husbands and wives are supposed to submit to each other, in love and compassion for each other. My husband and I share responsbilities at our house. Who takes the lead depends on who is stronger in the particular area; that's what a partnership is. It's about how you work together and what works for you as a couple. The only hard and fast rule is that you have to come first to each other. Many single parents come into relationships putting their children first, and that's not ever a good idea. It's hard, I know, but that just means that you should make sure that you are with someone who cares just as much for your child(-ren) as you do. Yes, it IS possible...and necessary.

I suggest that you participate in pre-marital counseling, singles counseling, women's groups...just to get a good social balance. Be observant and read up on what makes people tick and marriages work.

I was over 30 when I married and had spent my 20s dating and socializing, learning about life and people...and MYSELF. My husband and I sharpen each other. We help each other to be better people. We support each other in laughter and tears. It's always difficult for two adults to live together in the same space and nto be selfish or overly accommodating. There must be compromise, so both sets of needs can be met.

Love the movie "Fireproof" and love the corresponding book, "The Love Dare." There are even online blogs and such that you can start to keep track of how you are doing with "the Dare". Best thing we ever did was watch the movie together and complete the dare.

Respectful... yes. Supportive...yes. Loyal....yes.

SUBMISSIVE and OBEDIENT??? No, you are a wife, not a dog. Times have changed, I'm not saying you can't be old fashioned, and take care of your husband, but there are boundaries. Saying that you were a single mother for a long time shows that times have changed. That takes a strong, independent, courageous woman. Not a submissive obedient one. Be true to yourself first, then you can be a wonderful wife and mother.

I wish you luck in your search...

I think that you are going to find a massive amounts of varied opinions on this...especially the way you describe it. I am not, in any way, submissive and obedient to my husband. By your definition would this not make me a "bad" wife?

To me (just my values and opinion...) and good wife is there for her husband. The husband and wife function as a team...keeping the home, raising the children, living a full and satisfying life. It is a partnership...we value one another's thoughts and opinions, asking for the other's input and taking it into consideration when we make decisions. My husband values my strength and independence just as I value his.

Best of luck in the search for answers. I guess that I , if in your shoes, would have a frank disscussion with my husband about what he wants and needs from me as a spouse. I think you need to look at what he needs, decide if it's something you are able/ want to give and go from there.

Church would be a great place to start asking these questions. Congrats on wanting to live a Godly life. I basically think this means letting the husband be the one that makes important desisions. If he wants to move, you should support it but if he wants to feed the family chocolate cake for dinner then you should stand up and say nope. Use common sence. Scientest will agree that men think with out involving emotion. Women do make desisions with emotions. There are great qualities in both, I belive that God knew what he was doing by saying this. Its not to build the other up or to knock the other down. Its really to make life easier. Plus you have to really look at a man and what he is all about and if he has the best intreast for you and the family before marriage. As far as leaving your mother and father...I think it means you can still visit but dont let them have any desision making in you life.

Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Learn about how men tick, and the rest will take care of itself. You don't have to agree with everything she says, just do what she suggests, and you will be the happiest wife and the best one you can be, and that is exactly how your husband will describe you.

M.

Sounds to me that you like to control as many situations in life as you can. I can relate. I am the same way. You have to train yourself to stop and think for 10 seconds before you comment on something your husband has done. For ex: If your husband leaves his empty bowl in the living room, rather than speaking your mind about it, just let it go. Give him the chance to do the right thing; even if its hours before he puts it up. Maybe he intends on putting it away before going to bed. If he doesn't, try your hardest to bite your tongue (sometimes) and just let it go. The hardest one is when it comes to parenting. If he disciplines the kids in a way you don't agree with; don't speak up at that moment in time. Instead, take a deep breath and remember to discuss it with him after the kids are in bed and you are no longer angry. Submissive, no way! Respectful, even when you have differences, yes! Lastly, when you are both calm, if you have any issues to address, do it then. Rather than when you are angry. Marriage is always a work in progress and you will always have your differences. The fact you are working to be better than you already are is what it takes. So, good for you!

what stuck out to me is obedient and submissive, is that part of your culture? to me that is a negative thing. marriage is not easy, but if you find the right person it is much easier. to me it is about being yourself but at the same time being one w/ your husband. what that really means is you should be able to be true to your self, but you do need to compromise in order to make things work at times.

MUST READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!! It is called "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. Excellent book for any woman who wants to be the wife God called her to be. Completely Biblical, well-written, and it changed my life. I did grow up in a house with a Godly mother, who was a great wife and mother. But I still had NO IDEA how to be one until I read this book. I recommend it to anyone, but most people would just burn it within the first chapter or two. However, it sounds like you are truly seeking out how to be a Godly woman for the Lord and for your family. I wish I still had a copy & I'd mail it to you. But I know you can get it through Amazon.com, or through the author's website at nogreaterjoy.org.

Blessings!
C.

There are some great books that talk about Christian marriages. One of my favorites is called: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs.

This book was eye-opening to me. It talks about how "respect" is the most important thing for a man to receive from his wife. It is this "respect" that is at the heart of godly submission to one's husband.

In addition to "Fascinating Womanhood" may I also suggest that your hubby read "Men of Steel and Velvet?" When I was in high school our parish priest required ALL couples whose weddings he was officiating to read both books.

Living up to the Biblical teaching of submissiveness is very much a two way street, as other respondents have so eloquently explained already. I think that if your hubby reads this book, it will help you to both live the married lives that God has intended for you. (I say this as someone who can't get my hubby to read a THING! If you can get yours to do so, I'd be so happy!" =)

Being submissive is very hard. You need a lot of prayer. When you feel like you are stepping over the boundaries, just back off and pray for strength not to want to but it. Just have patience with yourself. If you have never been this way, then it will take time. Also, being submissive doesn't mean that you shouldn't discuss things. If you feel you and your husband aren't seeing eye to eye, then go in another room and discuss before you try to take over. Don't beat yourself up over this because I'm sure your husband will think you are a good wife anyway.

Please both of your read Boundaries in Marriage, it is a wonderful book.

I think the most important part of being my husband's wife of almost 17 years is just being me. Being there for him when he needs someone to listen, being there when he needs encouragement, affection, love, understanding, being there for him sexually can also be a bonus, but that's not what it's based on and if I'm not in the mood, then so be it. It's not about me just jumping to his call, but to know when he needs me w/out him even having to say a word. In some way I think that most of us have issues that we have had to deal with, but the most you can offer any man is yourself - your whole self. I think that it is wonderful that you are looking for suggestions, but first I would take a deep look inside of yourself and see what you have to offer before you try to change who you are to be more like someone else. Good luck!

That's great you want to be a good mother and wife. I also have a HUGE problem that you want to be 'obedient and submissive' to your husband??
Honey, you DO NOT become obedient and submissive to ANY man!! I love my husband very much but we are equal in our relationship. I am not his daughter! You and your husband should first of all 'Respect' each other and love each other. He works and if he comes home 'demanding' dinner, that's not going to work because you also work 'At home'! I don't know what kind of man you are married to, he could be a very caring and respectful man or he could be a mean, bad tempered man. We don't know. But all I can say is you are not his slave or less than him. It's nice you're going by the Bible but that was ions ago! My husband works full-time and does the yard, waters all the trees, mows the back and front lawns and I cook, wash, clean house. My husband before he goes to work he takes care of our twins needs, which are changing diapers, feeding somethimes (they are 20 months), but my husband enjoys it and he knows that when he leaves to work i deal with them myself the rest of the day. Of course he is the King, the Man of the house but I tell him I am the Queen and this house and the Woman of this house. We go everywhere together, we enjoy like watching movies together, he doesn't like going anywhere without me but he knows I like spending time alone with my sisters too and my mom. We like being together. Of course we argue too, but not as much as we used to. We were getting used to 'US'. We've been married 6yrs now. Well, I'm sure you are a good mom. I also have a 21 yr old daughter and a 17 yr son. Both whom have told me I hve raised them really well. Give your kids lots of hugs and kisses, tell them you love them everyday and praise them for their good deeds and efforts and never use bad language or put them down, never! But do discipline them when needed. Not harshly, my older kids told me I disciplined them well, I am proud to say they were always great kids! Good luck and I hope I helped some! :)

Well, I may not be of much help other then to share my life and hope it gives you some food for thought. My husband works I stay home and take care of...all the bills making sure nothing gets turned off, the kids doctor appts, dental, school pta, school/teacher meetings, figures on shoes or clothes when and if we can have them...etc

My husband is always kept informed in case something would happen to, he needs to know what's going on. we try to make time for each other but many times get lost with our schedules. He attempts to help with the pta since the school wants fathers more involved.

I make the dinners, weekend lunches etc, buy the food for all that. See to it if the car needs a repair we find a way or I get the part and he does it (usually he does it). I feed the cat and see to household tings like repairs if the money is there.

So submissive these days well unless your hubby can do all that plus work then I guess you can sit around and be submissive and when there's a house repair or the kiddo needs to see a doctor he can handle it all. So i guess now a days no women unless she can't drive, read or do math can a family afford for submissive...if your talking about sex then I guess that means you make yourself available when ever he wants it but not even the catholic church goes with that anymore according to a friend of mine. I guess obedient would mean do whatever he says..well you know times have changed and I take that saying as do you best to stand behind your man...not be a slave because any other interpatation to be means be a slave to you husband.

Instead maybe both of you should share being head of the house talking, communication between two people can be a beautiful thing! Agreement can also and meeting in the middle.....

I commend you for having the desire to be a good wife & mother. However I am not sure you understand what being submissive really means so refer to Laura's post because she is right on.

To be in the type of loving, kind, relationship you seem to desire, it takes two. A controlling man typically will bring this up to his wife but if he is a Godly man then being submissive to each other almost happens naturally. In your case I am thinking that you have the controlling type of man based on your last post about your fiance. Which I will give you the same advice which is to be on your own with your children since you just got them back & need to establish a better relationship with them.

You cannot be submissive to a man right now your life seems to be chaos. I hope you are going to church with your children. You seem to have the desire to want to do the right thing so start with yourself & your children, you are on the right track. And Prayer is powerful so do it often & with your children too.

God Bless

Updated

I commend you for having the desire to be a good wife & mother. However I am not sure you understand what being submissive really means so refer to Laura's post because she is right on.

To be in the type of loving, kind, relationship you seem to desire, it takes two. A controlling man typically will bring this up to his wife but if he is a Godly man then being submissive to each other almost happens naturally. In your case I am thinking that you have the controlling type of man based on your last post about your fiance. Which I will give you the same advice which is to be on your own with your children since you just got them back & need to establish a better relationship with them.

You cannot be submissive to a man right now your life seems to be chaos. I hope you are going to church with your children. You seem to have the desire to want to do the right thing so start with yourself & your children, you are on the right track. And Prayer is powerful so do it often & with your children too.

God Bless

I am sure there are out there many woman that think the same way, I guess there are some religion that advice this way too. I know in the Catholic is says to love, honor and obey to your husband. I never saw anything about submissive.
However, I must say that I am not submissive and I don't really "obey" to my husband, I DO hear him and take in concideration his feelings and care deeply about him because I love him but not because I have to.
But he does the same for me, like the other mom said, we are a team.
Don't take me wrong, I am not a feminist, I appreciate that my husband works very hard so I can stay at home with my kids, but what I do is important as well.
Sorry, I am getting out of subject, in other words, I hope that if that is what you want, your husband appreciates your love.
I also hope that you let your children know that is more than 1 way to life in a marriage, and let them be open and let them decide.
I can tell you that I have been married for more than 8 years and I never was submissive and neither him, and so far it works for us.