Seeking Moms Who Have Advise on a Breastfeeding Issues

My friend put vaseline on her breast and her son lost interest. But just a little something my mom's frind didn''t stop until her children were about 4, she only did it at nap and bedtime, and now they are both in Ivy league schools on scholarships. So, breastmilk helps with brain develpoment and if it doesn't bother you tell people to mind their own business.

S.,

Nursing at this age is fine, as long as BOTH parties involved want to continue. If you are content to keep nursing, and she still wants to, then it's really none of anyone's business. Tell them she stopped if it makes you feel better. What you do in your own home in the middle of the night is your own, you know?

Now, if the time comes that you are ready to stop, my best suggestion is don't offer, don't refuse. If she asks to nurse, fine, but don't sit her down to do it, and don't tell her no. If you want to hedge your bets, offer her a sippy cup of warm milk, and a little snack before the time she'd be ready to nurse. For my son, it's Ovaltine warm before bed, but there's sugar in that, and not everyones okay with that. I also give him a few graham crackers or cookies, but again, what you give is up to you. She may be less likely to ask to nurse with an already full belly. Also, it may be the closeness and attention that she enjoys about nursing. So, snuggle her up with her milk, read her a story or sing asong, so she feels close to you and comforted. Try to make the experience as much like nursing as possible, without the breast. This works for some kids, but others associate the snuggle time with nursing, and it strengthens the desire, so you may have to go with trial and error. Some kidsreally won't learn to sleep without nrusing when Mom's around, like one of the PP's said. Then you might want to take an evening walk, or run an errand at bedtime.

Again, this is for you IF you're ready to wean. If not, nurse on, Mama!

i think that if ur not ready to stop breastfeeding then dont, its your choice, no one elses. as far as sleeping through the night, try putting a shirt that you've worn all day with your smell on it, not a clean one, in the crib beside her, or her bed, where ever shes sleeping, also trying nursing for as long as possible right before she goes to bed. good luck, hope she starts sleeping soon. C.

First of all, you're right about others' opinions, never let them have the deciding vote! It's both "normal" and healthy for children 2 and over to continue breastfeeding as long as you are both comfortable with it. People in America have likened breastfeeding to sexual or "wrong" things, and the rest of the world sees it for what it is, a mother wanting the best for her child.

As for sleeping through the night, that's a tough one, I've got 4 kids all of whom I had sleeping thru the night by 1 1/2 months, formula OR breastfeeding! (I formula fed my first 3, 17-20 years ago, then grew older and wizer, so my 2 year old was nursed until she wouldn't stop BITING me, I finally gave up!) anyway, they all slept thru the night with this technique: bore them to death at night. Don't make night feedings "fun" or entertaining in any way. Feed, change, put back to bed. Don't talk to them, make eye contact, smile, nothing. On the flip side, make days full and fun. THey will soon learn that waking up in the night is boring and will give it up! Since your child's at an age where it's now her tradition, it'll be a bit harder... still, I think if you're presistent it will pay off. I'd try boring her to sleep for a few weeks, and if that doesn't do it on it's own, I'd just let her cry it out, enough is enough, no offense, but you need your sleep, and she's got to get into a pattern you can ALL live with!!!

Hi S.~ This sounds so familiar. I nursed my son until he was 20 months. He is now 2 1/2. He is a big kid so I got lots of comments. Friends and family couldnt believe I was still nursing. I was only nursing him to bed and then he would wake up nightly and want to nurse. I couldn't get him to sleep without nursing him. Naturally I was exhausted and decided I needed to stop. I think my son would have nursed forever! So my husband started putting him to bed but if I was in the house, he would scream so I went away for 3 nights and you know what he was fine. When I got home I had to figure out how to put him to bed without nursing because my huband occasionally works nights. My son has been sleeping through the night since. He has been fine and I am finally rested and in a good mood! He likes sleeping with a special blanket and toys and since he is still in a crib he has a musical toy that attaches to the crib and that occupies some of his time before he falls asleep. Good luck.

I agree with Rebeca. in the other part of the world, it is common practice for mothers breastfeed their babies for 2-3 years. i've lived in several different countries, and witness this with my own eyes. mostly they do it for bedtime feeding to help the babies sleep better. if you and your baby are comfortable with it, why not do it? breastmilk is the best for human babies anyway. it will give your baby better immune system as well. those who frown upon this really are ignorant.

You might want to go to a laleche mtg. I went once and there were lots of moms with older childern breastfeeding. Very friendly. You can find a meeting on the web sight or the warm line at women and infants might know when they are

Tell them thanks for their advice, and when they are raising your daughter, they can stop breastfeeding her whenever they like ;-) It's just none of their d**n business.

There are lots of nutritional and psychological benefits to breastfeeding older babies. Many countries around the world breastfeed their children into the early school ages - around 5 or 6 years old. Our culture does not support this, but that doesn't make it inappropriate, wrong or unhealthy.

So, you could talk their ears off about the benefits/educate them until they back off, or ignore them, or make a witty remark and move on (like the one above). But as long as you are your child's mother, only you and your child have to live with the results of your actions, so the rest of the disapproving world can stick it where the milk won't shine :)

Keep doing what you're doing - I applaud your efforts!!!!

First of all forget the people who are telling oyu how to nurture and parent your shild. Only in the United States of America will you get those ignorant comments. The average World weaning age for breastfeeding children is six years old and that is strictly because of teh US statistics (we do nto breastfeed adn most who do only make it to 3 or 6 months). I am nto suggesting that yoy breastfeed your child until sh eis 6 or until any give age I am just telling you what the statistics are to put it into perspective.

I come from a breastfeeding family my uncle breastfed until he was almost 7 yrs old. My mom on the other hand, his sister, only breastfed until about as I did. I have a 26 month old little girl. She too does nto seem remotely prepared to wean. I sometimes joke that she will not go away to college b/c of the boob.

I can certainly sympathize about the night weaning. I just weaned mine about a two months ago. Some of the thigns that helped us were talking to her during the day (all day long) about what happens at night. We talked abou thow she sleeps at night adn so does daddy adn mommy adn hten a list o fher favorite friends adn family members the you talk about how boobies sleep too. You have to keep on with it fro several days or a acouple of weeks. Make a game out of it where you ask her open ended questions and when she answers you praise her. Go throught the list of who sleeps at night adn hten in a silly way ask her so who sleeps at night. If seh is stuck help her out by asking does so and so sleep at night adn hwo about ... You get the idea. Talk about it especially durign her bed time routine whatever that may be.

After you feel she is comfortable with the idea get started. Don't think it will beeasy. The fact that she repeats teh idea adn may understand it doesn't mean she will automatically get it when she wakes up and only wants her comfort. Be prepared to offer her an alternative to feeding. Remind her hwo you talked about who sleeps at night. Remind her that her favorite freinds, relatives, dolls, toys (by naming them each) are sleeping right now adn so are the boobies. Make sure you tell her that they will wake up in the mornign at 6 AM (or when the sun is out whatever tiem frame you want to use). Offer ehr to hold her or to read her a abook or to sing her a song instead. Mine did nto want anything but boobie adn it was hard she cried a little (about a minute) but it was really bad crying adn I offered to hold her adn craddle her (we co-sleep) adn eventually she tired out and went for the alternative, but I did nto let her cry it out. She only cried for a minute literaly. She may not be ready the first time adn you can continue to talk about it and try 2 weeks later.

It is important that once she does it you keep to the rule of no boobie until ... (whatever tiem you decide). IF you don't out of being tired or frustrated it will nto work. There will still be a few tiems at teh beginning when she will wake up once during the night at about 3 or 4 or 5 and will cry for it. Do everythign you did when startign adn stick to the time.

One thing you do have to decide on is what todo when she is sick. I nurse her when seh is sick. It has only happened once and it was only for 2 nights. Expect a little cranckiness after an illness if you do decide to give her the boob at night. Remember to be prepared with a few favorite activities instead. And don't ever forget teh right time to wean your child is when you who gave birth to her and has nurtured her and knows he rbest feels that the 2 of you are ready. Ask those people around you if they feel they are too old to be fed or be held when they need comfort.

Hope any of this helps a little and good luck.

Best,
R.

Sorry about the typos.

Hi S.,

I can feel your pain, althought not as much. I have an 11 month old who won't sleep throught the night, she breastfeeds constantly. I'm not sure where you live but I would contact your local laleche league leader, they have some great adive for nursing mothers. They also have a useful books about night weaning. I commend you for nursing still, it's wonderful to hear about mothers nursing toddlers. - C.

HI S.
Get use to telling people to mind their own business ;)If you wish to, arm yourself with all of the reasons why nursing is still a benifit to children this age and try to "enlighten" the masses if you want or just continue to nurse and tell people it's not their concern. The benifits to breastfeeding your child far outweigh the opinions of others.
I am a firm believer in child-lead weaning. After feeling very disappointed in myself for only nursing my first for 6 months, my second child nursed for almost 5 years and my youngest is still nursing at 4. He's losing interest now, and I expect he'll probably wean in the next few months.
Keep up the good work nursing!
Best wishes
D.

S.,
Good for you for being able to breast feed. I tried with both of mine, but niether one of them seem to take to it. I have a cousin who breast fed until her daughter was 4 and she and her daughter are none the worse for it. Are you in a breast feeding support group? If not check to see if one is in your area. My cousin was in one and when a stranger would comment about her daughter being too old, she would rattle off facts and statistics about how much healthier breast fed babies are. While being breast fed, her daughter very rarely had colds and never had an ear infection.

As for sleeping through the night, she is definately old enough to do that now. depending on your tolerance for her fussing, try letting her cry for 10 minutes, go in and rub her back (do not pick her up)wait 10 more minutes. Because she is older it may take a few nights, but she will learn she is safe where she is and sleep all night. Oh, and make sure she has a good size supper before going to bed. I know I sleep better on a full tummy.

Hi S.,
I nursed my son, but only for a year... and first off as far as everyone else is concerned its none of their business how long you decied to nurse for. It is a very healthy thing for your child. As for her not sleeping through the night my son had the same problem and still does off and on and he is almost two. The best way I find to keeping him asleep is the cold turkey approach. it is very difficult and what you would call tough love but i find it to work well. after a few nights of crying he stopped waking up when i refused to get up and give him a drink. if this is to difficult for u to bear then try 'weaning' her. only give her two feedings a night, then down to one. well... good luck and i fully support you for breastfeeding!!!

Hi S. - I think there are three issues. Firstly is whether you SHOULD be nursing your baby. The answer is as long as you and she are happy, then nurse!

Second is how to get her to sleep through the night. The answer is - maybe. Some kids are pretty high energy, and don't sleep a lot sequentially. So they'll sleep 3 or 4 hrs two or three times each night, with wake ups inbetween. For some kids, they nurse and go back to sleep. For some, they just wake up and need some reassurance. For a monority they have trouble getting back to sleep even with nursing and reassurance. Hopefully you have one of the first two types. Assuming you do - try night weaning (no nursing from bedtime (whenever that is) until say 4am. If she can go till 4, give it a few days or a week, and then stretch to 5am. You get the idea. Gentle stretching isn't very traumatic (not like they can tell time, right?! Or even know the difference between 3 and 5 hrs, really). You may need to "stuff" her up before bedtime. Give her filling foods with lots of protein. Tofu (in any of a variety of ways), meat, cheese (if she takes dairy), a cup of milk (rice, soy, cow, whatever), some oatmeal with a bit of molasses in it, ev en a bowl of cereal. Fruit is ok too - but something with the fruit would be better.

Thirdly is the issue of what to say to people when they question you nursing your babe. My favorite comeback to "How long are you going to nurse him/her" is "oh, about 15 more minutes". There are websites with comebacks on them - like http://www.mommyguide.com/modules.php?op=modload&name... and loads of info here on nursing beyond infancy. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/archive/index.php/f-... Hopefully there's something there that will make your life easier. I'm nursing my son still, 20 mos, and we'll go until he's done. Already sometimes I offer to nurse when he's feeling bad about stuff (he does have an older sister lol!) and he says no and comes in for a snuggle or just deals on his own. My my how they grow...

Hi S., I'm L.. My youngest child Madyson nursed for 3 years and 8 months. People gave me the same reactions to the fact she was still nursing. If nursing is working for you, I would pay no attention to others. As far as the sleeping goes, we had the same issues. Honestly, Mady co-slept with me and would just help herself in the middle of the night.....it was much easier for us. Good luck....and congratulations on nursing for so long. There are way too few of us! Also, have you tried the message boards on AOL? There's one room titled "nursing past the first year" that is WONDERFUL! Let me know if you're interested.