Seeking Mom

Does he tell you specifically what the problem is? Have you talked to his teacher to find out if something is going on in class? School just started and he may need some time to adjust, so do give him that time if he needs it. Good luck.

I'm so glad to see your update, that is wonderful! With Jesus by your side, all things are possible.

Blessings,
C.~

Dear L.,

Well, kids do that sometimes. He really does want you, but he can't have you anymore allll the time. He is just mourning a bit.

Before you leave the house spend just a bit of time talking with him quietly, and tell him how proud you are of him getting to go to the first grade and tell him something that happened to you in the first grade, or how you felt when you got there, with all of those kids and you were scared for a little bit until you got started listening to the teacher. La, la, la, you know what to say. Don't complain to him about his behavior, just enroll him in the human race and let him know that other people have the same feelings that he does. Tell him that you will be thinking of him today, and that you want to know something that happens in school today when you all get back home together. O.K.?

It may take a couple of minutes - don't let it go on too long - and some day soon he won't need that extra time. Sincerely, C. N.

Sometimes kids cry more when they know that we (mothers) are going to react, I know you do not want him to cry however if you ignore it a little at a time he will realize that your not paying attention to his crying and this is something that he has to do.

As hard as it sounds, you just have to NOT let it get you, at least not when he's around. Take him to school, drop him off and assure him he will be fine, then leave without any additional scene---do not let him drag you into a more drawn out thing. If you have to actually hand him to the teacher so she can keep ahold of him while you leave, DO IT. If it really gets under your skin (and your kid crying can do that like NOTHING ELSE!!! I do understand that) and if you do need to break down, feel free to do so, but AFTER you are out of his sight (in the car, at home, wherever, just not where he can see you)
If he's having seperation issues all day at school, they will let you know. If you aren't hearing anything from school, then he is doing it to control you. Once he sees that it isn't working anymore, he will stop. It may get worse for a few days when he realizes that it isn't working any longer and he tries to regain control, but STAY STRONG and DO NOT react to his crying.

Ask the teacher for suggestions. Try and get to school early so you can walk him in and get him warmed up and let the teacher have a job for him to help with or something. Good luck, I am sure it is heartbreaking.

L.,
First of all, hello! I'm so sorry your son is having such a difficult time adjusting. Have you spoken with his teacher about this issue? I have a child development degree, but moreover, am a mom of three boys myself (6, 3, and 11 months). The first thing that came to mind was this:
When taking him to school, explain what you expect of him behavior wise. Tell him that you are dropping him off, you expect him to have a good attitude going into class and that he must do his best work while there. Let him know that you will not stay with him, but you will pick him up at such-and-such time.
Kids typically respond better when they know what's excepted of them and that they will not be able to cry their way into what they desire.
Your major job here is to remain calm and compassionate, yet to be very firm and do not stay to try to calm him. Explain when you will be back, tell him to have a wonderful time and leave! Please talk to his teacher before hand to let them know what will be occurring though! Teachers don't like to be left in the dark.
Good luck,
R. Donahue
Mom to Cameron, Tristan and Logan

Hi L.---i say start with a prayer! God is always by our side through good and bad...i know the crying can be a bit annoying...i'm here to tell you....i have a 3 1/2 year old and sometimes she drives me nuts too!!! But you just have to let them cry! He will eventually snap out of it...it can take time for it to happen and i at times just ignore my daughter when she gets like that even though we love our kids they just know what to do for attention cause they know you'll be back to pick them up everyday from school....maybe he's just showing his feelings by crying for attention...reward him when he does good in school so that he can start liking it and stop crying! Good luck!

Perhaps you can sit in his class a couple of times. Let him see you like his teacher & his class mates. He may relax. You can also invite some of his class mates to your house so he can get to know them better. Then he will be excited to spend the day with them.

Another note. I remember running away from school because I was afraid of my teacher in Kindergarten. I went home & hid under a pile of clothes on the bed so mom couldn't find me. She did and took me back to school. They put me in a different class and I loved it.

My son cried from the time he was an infant until he was over 2 years old (not every day). He still had some days when he was three when he would cry when I dropped him off. The only thing that helped was reminding him of his day at "school" and what he could expect, remind him of the kids he tended to like to play with and what they could do together, and having him bring a transitional toy/book to show his friends. We eventually just had him write a note (I wrote, he dictated) to his teachers or friends, and he'd put stickers on it. Then, he'd fold it and put it in his pocket. This helped him have an icebreaker when he first entered the classroom. I think this was the best solution. I also reminded him about what we were going to do afterward (create a fun routine or event, no too elaborate, but something for him to look forward to). Eventually I just had to remain as neutral as possible, knowing he was in good hands and he had all he needed for the day. Lastly, I made sure he was getting enough to drink, eat, and had enough sleep. For him, sleep deprivation was cumulative, after a couple days without a nap he was very whiney. Hopefully this helps...

How is his behavior at school? Whenever my kids or I are super upset we use Rescue Remedy. It is a natural remedy used for calming. You can google it online, or find it in any health food store. It is pricey just over $17 for a .7 fl oz spray bottle, but it is a homeopathic solution to calming. May be great for both of you in this situation.

You might want to try playing with him when he is home. Get some dolls and pretend to play school. He may act out what exactly is bothering him about school. As long as you do not probe him with questions, just play out the situation of dropping him off with dolls and see where it takes you. You may learn a lot.

Good luck!