Seeking Legal Advise for Modified Visitation

You can seek modifications to the visitation. Call your lawyer or ask for referals for one who is good and reasonably priced if you don't have one.

The good thing is that with your daughter being 11 1/2 she can have input. The magic age is 12. The courts probably wont stop Dad's visitation but they can and probably will require that he take her to her school activities. That is part of parenting. It is not mandatory for you to drive 1/2 way under 100 miles...unless that was written up in the court orders. If it isn't written up then follow the pick up & drop off orders as they are written. If they are suppose to pick up at your house and don't do that then don't bring her 1/2 way. This will force dad to bring the issue to court & allow you time to respond.

Remember not to go into the court room angry at all dad doesn't do. Keep your focus on your daughter and what is important for her well being and development. Bring letters from her coaches & teachers if at all possible that show who has been at her functions and how being involved in school has helped in her development. Also if anyone other than you, your daughter, the ex & his wife know of how you have gone 1/2 way to take her to all of her visits and activities get them to testify or write letters as well. Documentation on your willingness to work it out are important.

Good luck and hopefully this all gets settled for you and your daughter soon.

Today couples have to have a iron of steal nerves. If you have been able to keep this arrangement for all these years then I commend you. I was furious when my husband left me for another woman and back then the laws were not so cut and dry. My ex worked week ends most of the time and I would have probably killed his wife if she had come to pick up the kids. He even left her at a store, then come and get them and return to get her. She as well as him broke up our home. But everything was inconsistant. I think at her age she can make a stand in court. It is about the child not if his wife spending all those week- ends with her. She is not her child. People have to work but he should be getting her when he has time. I can assure you she would also be relieved to not have her all the time. My ex had a step son that I spent all the time with. He worked. Once he divored me he never saw him again.He died this last year. I would modify the divorce to something the daughter has a little more control over. Many times my kids did not want to go and had to. Only an attorney can help you here. God Bless G. W

OK we fight the same thing with my husbands ex with our 12 year old. Re-read your papers carefully and see if it says normal school activities or all school and extra curicular activities. You also need to reenforce with your daughter that daddy threats are just that threats and nothing more. See if she is willing to tell a judge thta she does not want to go on the weekends with activities. If she is looking not to go except maybe holidays she will HAVE to be the one to tell. The judge will percieve chores at his house as normal sorry. But other factors as the fathre not being there, and the childs wishes will be taken into concideration by the judge at her age but not till she is 13 can she flat out make the decision. You can only bring a change to the court once a year but if he wants to take you back to modify let him initiate this as you can get him to pay for your legal fees given the right circumstances. We are fixin to go back to court because he has expressed not wanting to go to his moms at all except a couple weekends during the summer and alternating holidays and he wants to go to camp but she said if he does he can not go with us to family reunion. She has threatened to make him come live with her and is gone the entire time he is there till 9pm everynight. She also uses guilt on him when he does not want to go. This is a bad thing to the courts but the child will have to tell the judge and most times they do not because of the other parent and past threats so it needs to be expressed to the judge so he can give orders against this to the other parent and give you more leverage. Remember you signed a parenting agreement read it carefully also and if you do not have a copy you can look it up on line but it will be near the pages that lay out visitation. Look for violations on his part and document black and white beats hear say. Text him as much as possible or email is better so you can print it out. If you can get black and white him saying he does not care about her sports and school activities it will hold a lot of weight in court. If it is on your phone you will have to take a digital picture of it and print it out. Email me if you have any questions on gathering info to use. ____@____.com luck and remember to reassure your daughter that you will fight for her and daddy threats are no good just don't argue with him but let you know about them. Do not let her tell him that you said anything about attorney or gonna fight nothing just information and make sure also that she understands that if he makes her not tell you some how like threats or guilt it is like lying to you and you can not help her if she does this but that you will not let him know she told you and will try to help her.

I suggest that you and your ex talk about your concerns and your daughters extra curricular activities without your daughter around. It should be a conversation between the two of you. If you do decide to take your ex to court the judge will talk to your daughter in private. Having a relationship with her father is more important than her playing volleyball in the eyes of most judges. Chances are the judge won't change the visitation schedule and you and your ex will be out lots of money paying a lawyer.

This sounds just like my ex...so much like him!! Anyway she is at that age where the judge will listen to her and let her choose. So yea take him back to court

Yes you can take him back to court. visitation is for everyone especially the child. The judge will talk to the daughter and ask her how she feels and what her opinion is and she can tell the judge about the lack of time with her dad and how shw wants to add additional extra curricular items to her schedule. The judges are very workable in these situations when it is to the benefit of the child (their only concern).

T.:

Yes you can certainly take him back to court for change of visitation. In fact at age 12 your daughter will also have some say in this situation!

I am a family law attorney practicing in Collin, Dallas, Tarrant and Denton counties, please feel free to contact me via my cell if you would like to discuss your options.
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A.

Just FYI- I was at a hearing a couple of months ago where a child's extra curricular activities were constantly interfering with the non-custodial parents visitation. The custodial parent asked to have the visitation changed and the Judges response was "Are you trying to tell me that it is more important for the kid to play ball then to see his parent?". THe answer to that question and your question is no. The Judge then Order that the child could not be in ANY extra-curricular activities without the signed consent of the non-custodial parent. I know you are wanting to stand your ground about having to do a portion of the driving but remember this is about the child and very often in life, we as mothers, have to go out of our way to make sure our children have what is best for them, even when it doesn't seem fair to us. A Judge is not going to take visitation away from a father so that a kid can be in a play. That is something BOTH of you need to work out together. Be careful what you ask for in Court, as you can end up with less then you originally had in the first place. I would suggest doing whatever you could to make sure your daughter gets to play AND see her dad.

Secondly, the Judge is not going T. pleased that you are having your daughter discuss and schedule the pick up and drop off arrangements with your ex-husband. That is something that the parents need to do and not have their 11 year old child be the middle man.

Third, the attorney below that said "yes you can have it modified", she is not a Judge and can not guarantee you that a Judge will Grant your request. Modifications are fairly expensive and with the economy in it's current state attorney's are looking for all the business they can get. To correct her, you have the right to REQUEST a Modification however, that does not mean that the Judge will Grant it.

I hope this helps. I just do not want you to lose what you already have.

She's at the age where she gets to decide. If you have a parenting coordinator in your decree, start there. If not, time to change the "official" schedule.

Either way - document, document, document EVERYTHING

Hi T., Sorry to hear what your daughter is going through... I used to be married to someone like that... maybe worse! So we fully understand your situation. My husband, John Haugen, is a wonderful (and aggressive) lawyer and Christian man. Give him a call at ###-###-####, www.haugenlawfirm.com. Best wishes and God bless!

T.,
He can take you to court all he wants, but a judge isn't going to make your daughter give up all of her activities. I can get on a soap box about this, but will keep it short...a real father wouldn't be doing this...he would be supportive and excited that she wants to participate. My ex is much like this (worse I think) and doesn't have a clue how much he has missed out on. I wish you good luck and positive thoughts...it might be difficult, but it will work out.
M.