Hi C.,
I know what it's like to have a dog with "issues." I adopted two street dogs (from Taiwan) in 2000 and complained for years about their bad behavior. They are 80 pounds and 50 pounds, and together, are a formidable couple. Then, my sister told me about Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, a show on cable. I don't get the National Geographic channel, so I ordered his tapes from his website. Cesar has taught me that my dogs problems are my problems, not theirs. I was doing something wrong by not communicating to them in a way that they understand. Dogs are pack animals, and need a leader. I think your cocker spaniel has identified daughter as pack leader, but not you or hubby. Hubbies can be particularly tricky, since they like to step in and boss the dog around without first taking the time to gain the dog's respect and trust as a pack leader. You hubby has not established himself above the dog IN THE DOG'S MIND, and therefore did not warrant the dog's obidience. Getting Cesar's tapes and watching as many as I can has been the best thing I have done for my dogs. Now I know that I was the problem. My dogs now listen to me as pack leader and I am in control, not them. The same thing applies to you and the food aggression issue. You need to be a pack leader first, and then the dog will give you the food/treat. One of my Taiwan dogs is food aggressive and, with Cesar's help, I have really been able to curb it. I think your daughter has put in the time and effort to establish herself as leader, but you and hubby have work to do.
First, put on a leash and have it high around the ears. Make him sit at the front door and you go out the door first. You always should go out doors before your dog. Also, don't let the dog sleep with you in bed. Stay calm and assertive, and walk the dog so that he is walking next to you or behind you. Shorten the leash but keep your arm relaxed. Don't let him sniff everything or pull around. Keep him right next to you. He can piddle when and where you tell him, not whereever he feels like it. Now walk. If he's a high energy dog, you need to walk longer than if he's not.
That is just lesson one. Cesar has many more. If you love your dog, work with him. Once he becomes nicer, you'll all be happier and you will love him tons and tons more. Please give it a chance.
Good luck with him.
B.
Don't forget to walk. Your whole family needs to do it too. Have hubby walk the dog to establish himself as packleader. Dogs don't automatically give you authority just becuase you pay the mortgage. You have to earn it for a dog.