Seeking Help with Potty Training My Son Who Is Affraid

I have three kids (two potty trained) and I did it different with each of them but had the same concept. My first boy, I followed the "Potty Training in a Day". Everyone made fun of me for even buying it but my son was potty trained at 2 years 1 month in half a day with no accidents, not even at night. Basically we made sure no one was home, we spent the day in the bathroom with every kind of junk drink we could find and a peeing doll. We drank sodas and juice and gave it to the baby doll and sat on the toilet. Worked like a charm. Now my second son couldn't care less about this approach as he didn't want to hang in the bathroom, sit on the toilet, nothing. He is ver stubborn and loud about it. So I went to the dollar store, bought enough gum, and junk toys to fill a large bowl and made sure he knew I had it. He could have one toy every time he used the toilet. We had about a half day of torture with him screaming and crying that he wanted a toy but by the afternoon he got the picture and used the toilet ever since. I did keep the toy bowl for about a week then dropped it all together. He never missed it. One thing that DID NOT WORK was trying to make it a forced routine, it become miserable real fast. GOOD LUCK!

I think it would be great to work with your kids together. It would be beneficial also. Boys just need a whole lot of incentive to go to the potty. My daughter was 18 months when she was fully potty trained. If she is showing interest, take advantage of that. Make it a fun time for everyone and don't stress out!

Unfortunately, changing diapers is part of the job description of a mom. Yes, its expensive and its stinks, but its cheaper than therapy. Chill out and let your little guy grow. It will happen! Kids want to make their parents happy.

Don't push, cajole, frighten, or bribe, just follow his lead. Clearly he's not ready yet if he had 7 accidents in one day even after sitting on the toilet every 40 mins. And in all seriousness changing a diaper every few hours sounds much, much easier than going to a bathroom every 20-40 min.

not that I can vouch that this video has done the trick (my 2 y.o. daughter is flirting with potty training... but not really in to it yet). but she loves the bear in the big blue house potty time video. it is just three eps of the show, the first on potty training... the second on being a "big bear" and the third on trying new things. anyway, I'm not really pushing my daughter as we're having a new baby in june and I don't want to push too much on her at once.. but it is a fun video (the songs are hilarious).

good luck... I've heard boy are harder than girls.. my nephew wasn't trained until he was 4, and not for lack of his parent trying. just take it slow and try not to get too frustrated. btw.. what worked for him as is daddy to show him to go pee like a big boy... which translated to standing up, and peeing in the bushes outside during one summer.. kind of gross, but by the end of the summer, they got him to use the potty in the house regularly.

good luck.. potty training is never easy... and some kids just won't do it until they are ready.

Kids tend to show some interest in the potty long before they are ready for it. The average age for boys to be potty trained is 3 1/2. For girls it's 3. I know how much of a pain it can be to have 2 kids in diapers (did that with #2 and #3) but it's not something you can force. Back off the potty for a while. Do teach him (and your daughter) to wash their hands. If he doesn't want to go in the bathroom, wash in the kitchen. Don't connect it to potty, just good hygene.

My 2nd (my first boy) showed some interest in the potty around 2 years old. I was pregnant with #3 and hoped to have him out of diapers when the 3rd came. Long story made short, we fought with him for over a year and a half before I gave up and put him in diapers. Very little comment on potty, except tht he couldn't do some 'big-kids' activities (like video games) until he was a big kid, and big kids go potty. But I never tried to get him to go potty. He finally decided on his own to go potty, and was trained within a week. He was a few months past 4 by then, and believe me I had a lot of people (esp grandmas) saying things about him going to kindergarten and not being potty trained. But he's had fewer accidents than any of my other kids, and was night trained very quickly too.

With my 3rd, I waited till he was 3 and wanting to go potty, and just pretty much followed his lead. It's so much easier when you don't push or make it a power struggle.

Consider laying off for awhile if it's become stressful. My second son seemed reluctant to use the toilet reliably when he was nearly three, and then a couple months after he turned three, he responded to my teaching efforts and was completely dry.
My favorite resource for toileting info is "Toilet Train Your Child in Less than one Day" by Azrin. I took longer than a day with my two sons, but the method suggested is friendly and respectful and effective. This method is often used with children who have special needs, so I think it would be appropriate for a child who is fearful. Basically, you reinforce being "clean and dry" instead of just sitting on the toilet randomly. You show your child how to check himself and report if he is clean and dry, and if he is, then you offer him a salty little snack, like a pretzel, or a sip of a treat drink, like a juice box, and say "You are getting so big! You can have this treat because you know how to stay clean and dry!" If there's an accident, you say "Uh-oh, wet pants are no fun. Let's go get clean underwear and practice by the toilet so you can stay clean and dry." If he uses the toilet, you can celebrate that he knows how to stay clean and dry. Reinforcing "clean and dry" has been the key to my success. The salty snacks make him a bit thirsty, and the extra drinking gives him that many more opportunities to practice. WEaring loose undies or boxer shorts he can pull off and on can also help--I let my boys hang out in just boxers for a couple of days while we didn't run any errands and all we did was play at home and work on being "clean and dry."
I highly recommend that book. For now, consider just letting his sister watch and try out and "make friends" with your little toilet, but I wouldn't bother doing a teaching campaign with her just yet, just because she's a bit young to expect continence, not because of any "big brother first" reason. You don't need any more projects than necessary!
Hang in there!

I thought I would tell you about my experience with potty training my 3 kids (2 girls, one boy who is mildly autistic). I don't really made a big deal with the potty training, I did with my first child, but its seemed to back fire. I leave a little potty in the bathroom and don't say much about it, except that's where you go pee pee, they usually would sit on it clothed or unclothed (usually to find a place to sit). I let my 1.5 year old run around with only a diaper on at home, so when she needs to go potty, there's no obstacles of getting pants down. Granted she has accidents occasionally, I just remind her where the potty is and I clean up the mess.
My girls were potty trained very early, and basically did it on there own. My son was fully trained by 3 years. One day I told him that I would no longer be buying pull ups. He had a few accidents, but he was trained within a week, on his own without my help (except to clean lots of underwear and floors) LOL
For me, the pull ups, stickers chart, baby doll that pees, seemed to make the potty training harder. Once I allowed them to make the choice about whether they would like to pee in there underwear or the potty, they weere potty trained.
If your 18 month is showing interest, then I would allow her to go on the potty, but maybe no stickers or prizes, just praise.
Good luck! I know each child is different, so do what you think is right for your child.