As troublesome as it is for me to admit this, my daughter is 3 and still takes a bottle. It's been that of a security blanket for her and I can't seem to relieve her of it. If she falls and skins a knee or just gets her feelings hurt, I think she feels she needs the bottle for comfort. My problem is that everytime I try and take it from her, when she asks for it and I tell her no, my mother or grandmother give it right back to her because they don't want to deal with the little fits that she throws. Now if she and I lived on our own I don't think it would be a problem but I recently lost my job and have had to move back in with family so the last month things have been tough for us. When I try and let my mother or my grandmother know that they need to back off because she's my child I'm told that it's their house and what they say goes here. Any help or tips that anyone can give on bottle breaking would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Ok so it's now day 4 without her bottle and it's going much better than I expected. While I knew just throwing them away with no explanation to her wouldn't work I came up with a plan. I came up with the idea of a "bottle fairy" and talked to my mother and grandmother before hand and let them know that I was doing this regardless of what they might think or say. So, I told my daughter that the bottle fairy was all out of bottle's for the new babies at the hospital and needed her to donate hers so that the babies would have bottles to use. I told her that in return the fairy would leave her a prize and a new sippy cup to use. So we went around the house gathering up all bottles and putting them into a bag. We hung the bag outside and she was really proud that she was helping the new babies out because she was telling everyone the story of how the princess was gonna come get her bottles and take them to the new babies because they needed them more than she did. Yes, eventhough I told her a fairy she was convinced it was a princess. But hey, whatever works! lol.. so after she went to sleep I went outside and tossed the old bottles out and replaced the bag with a new bag that had a coloring book and crayons and a new sippy cup. The next morning she was so excited to find her new prize that she didn't ask for a bottle all day. Now the second night was rough. Although she didn't cry for a bottle or whine or anything like that, she didn't go to sleep until 3am. She's asked for it a couple times but so far I'm not having that much trouble.. definately not as much as I thought I would. Thanks to everyone for your help and idea's! I'm so glad I joined this site!
Throw out all the bottles. Buy her some sippy cups--she's old enough now to help you pick them out. Buy some really cute ones with characters or her favorite colors. Make a big deal about how she's a big girl and these are her big girl cups. If there are no bottles in the house to be given to her, then no one can give her one.
I can see your dilemma with mom and granny in tow, trying to assume ownership of your tot. I believe you may need to just be overly blunt about exactly what type of help they are to be giving. Don't be rude, just be matter-of-fact. Let them know that when you moved in, it was in mind a temporary place for YOU to raise YOUR child. Although you appreciate the help they try to give when they give her a bottle, tell them it is not wanted. Period. Tell them they are doing her more damage then good and that you know that they wouldn't want to intentionally hurt her. Also let them know the dangers of giving her a bottle at this age. If you don't know them, call your local pediatric dentist. There are a lot of destructive dental things that can occur by giving a child ,with a full mouth of teeth, a bottle. Finally, When I took away the bottle (and the binky) from my 4 oldest, I just threw them out. Every single one of them. I waited until trash day, packed them up and out they went. That way I wasn't tempted to end up digging one out as the night got longer. I sat with them when they cried for it and soothed them the best I could. After the first day/night things were better. Generally after the second day/night bottle free we were good to go. This worked for me and my children. It is different for everyone. This method is tough. You have to be strong for her and push through. I feel that it is most effective. Good Luck in whatever you choose!
Do you have a friend you could stay with instead? You family is in the wrong saying that they get to have a say in raising your child just because you live there. They are helping to promote a habit that is bad for her so if they refuse to budge on their thoughts then maybe you should see if there is somewhere else you could stay.
Wow gotta love those family members!! I'm affraid you have to get stern with mom and grandma hon. Let them know that they are only hindering your childs development by overriding your decisions and teaching your child that she if she wants her way...all she has to do is go to someone else when you tell her otherwise. Reassure them that her fussing will only last a few days at most and the fits being thrown are a result of letting your child get her way. The more she gets her way by throwing a fit...the more of a fit she will throw. I feel that you are the mother and she is your child. While most of us would have loved to have had our mother's or grandmother's near to help us out..they still would have to respect our wishes in regard to how we raise our children. Stand firm hon and good luck!!!
Breaking a child from a bottle can be as hard on the parent as it is for the child. I have had to break 3 kids from the bottle and still have one to go!!!! Your major obstacle right now, however, is your mother and your grandmother. Yes, it is their house, but she is YOUR child. I suggest that you sit down with both of them and tell them that while you appreciate their help during this time, you need to raise your daughter as you see fit. You might want to mention to them that at your daughter's age continued use of the bottle can cause major dental problems later on (and braces aren't cheap!) You'll have to be very firm with both your mother and your grandmother and let them know that she is your responsibility and you will do what is best for her and what your pediatrician suggests to you. You might even want to have them go to a doctor's appt. with you and while you are there bring up the fact that your daughter is still taking a bottle. Maybe if they hear it from someone else they will listen more. Now, for some advice on breaking your daughter from the bottle. Let me start by warning you that it can take as long as 2 weeks and you will go through hell until it is over. You say that she uses the bottle more for comfort than anything else. My oldest son was like that also. So what I did was go out and buy him a new "baby" at the store and made him pay for it with his bottle (before we left the house I had gotten rid of the other bottles also). My mother went with me to the store and talked to the clerk beforehand. She told my son that his new toy cost $10.59 plus one bottle. He looked a little confused but he paid her! Afterwards everytime he asked for a "ba ba" I would hand him his baby and remind him that he had used it to buy his new friend. Then I would suggest that they go play together, read together...anything to distract him from wanting that bottle. I also stuck to my guns and only gave him his milk/juice in a sippy cup - which he also got to pick out. Don't get me wrong, he did cry and scream and throw plenty of fits. But after just a few days he was asking for the bottle less and less. When his new baby brother arrived a month later he wasn't even jealous that the new baby got a bottle. Good luck and stick to your guns. Remember, your mother and grandmother love your daughter but that doesn't give them the right to try to usurp your authority over her. Be firm and you'll get through this.
Well, I just spent $5500 on dental work, so if you don't have that kind of money, you need to find a way to get rid of that bottle ASAP. Do not switch to the (NUBY) type of cup that has to be tipped up to suck on either, they do just as much damage!! My son stopped taking a bottle at 10 months, but had that type of sippy all the time, and at 26 months, he had all 4 top front teeth drilled down to nubs and filled or crowned becaus the backs of his teeth were all decayed. It was a total nightmare for my husband and I. My mother and his mother are our babysitters, so, I had similar problems as you. I just gave away all of the old cups and switched to the spill proof cups with straw type tips, but they are still soft. Wal-mart has a couple types and Gerber makes an excellent insulated soft straw cup. The dentist said these are the best because it takes the liquid past the front teeth, instead of pushing it against the front teeth, as bottles and some sippy cups do. Once that hurdle was over, we started working on the pacifier, but he stills sleeps with it. You may try a substitute comfort item, such as a small silky blanket or a small soft stuffed animal. These things should not harm in any way, and she can feel like a big girl. Let her pick out some of those straw type cups, they have Dora, Sponge Bob, Princesses, etc. She will probably think they are really neat, just don't tell her you are replacing the bottle with them until after she has picked them out. Sorry so long, I just get caught up on the subject. Good luck, feel free to send me an email if you need to chat.
Well, I honestly haven't gone through this, but my idea would be to throw all the bottles out. Maybe the thought of having to buy more bottles will seem like more trouble then letting your daughter throw a fit. Good luck.
M.
wow M. have i been there!! my daughter was 2 and still taking a bottle... from my mother i finally just threw them all away and told her if she brought them home i would just throw them away so shes waisting her money and might as well stop... the fits only last 3 days if that..... but your the mom not them!! so take charge and good luck (my 3 year old still has her paci so dont feel bad!!) and remember no one goes to college with a bottle or paci!! ( i asked my dentist about this and he said that it wont cause problems unless the permanent teeth are in, just make sure you brush her teeth well and if she has to have a bottle at night give her water instead)
My daughter had a hard time she was two when i finally figured out how to wean her... only give water in it and after doing this for a few weeks, only allow her to have it at night( the water wont hurt her teeth and gives comfort) The idea is to get the bottle to loose its appeal, water isnt as appealing also you can try to redirect her. Give her something to do when shes upset. Try having a paper bag on a table with some scrp paper and a crayon, tell her to go and write down whats botjhering her nad put it into the magic bag( tell her the magic bag makes it go away) Preschools use this trick for kids that have coping difficulties. I used it on my daughter at three when she would get mad it really works... good luck!
My first child had his bottle for a long time too. I thought I was doing well when we switched to a sippy cup. Then he had to have major dental work, because that was just as bad(he had it all the time). Explain to your mother and grandmother that yes, it will be difficult to deal with the fits, but this has to be done. Or maybe they are willing to pay for the dental work? yeah, right. Maybe if you have to pay for it, that's even longer that you will need to stay in the house with them. If you can sit down with them when it is not crisis time and explain that your daughter needs to come off the bottle and you need their cooperation, maybe they will come around.
Be careful not to go from bottle addition to cup addition-that's what caused our trouble.
Good luck to you, I know how hard it is to convince your mother that you know what is best for YOUR child.
It sounds like maybe right now is not the best time to take it away. Since it is her security object I would wait until things settle down. As long as she's brushing her teeth before bed it's not the end of the world. Try filling it with water instead of milk. When you do take it away, replace it with lots of love and hugs and cuddles and another lovey. And tell your mom that the pediatrician insisted you take it away because it was making her teeth crooked.
I wouldn't bother with sippy cups, because you can suck on those just like a bottle and then you'll just have to take that away at some point.
I'm sort of in a similar situation...my mother recently moved next door to us and keeps giving my kids junk food even when I specifically tell her they I don't want her to give to them or that they've already had a snack! Talk about frustrating! But since this is just a bottle, I say throw them away! If you really think your daughter would do fine not having one, than just get rid of them. If they're not in the house than grandma can't give it to her. Or I've heard of some people tying a pacifier to a bunch of balloons and having the child let go of them outside as a goodbye 'ceremony' or something. Let your daughter do this (obviously when your mom and grandma are not around) and that will give her closure, if you think she'll need it. But just throw the rest away, and if your mom keeps buying them, just keep throwing it away. That's what I do with all the junk food my mom buys...just toss it when she's not around!
Good luck
Hi Michelle,
Have you tried to substitute the bottle for one of those sippy cups that don't leak? your daughter might be content with one of those because she has to suck on it to get the liquid out. If not, don't sweat it. I would not make a big issue out of it unless the bottle is harming her teeth. My daughter was hooked on a pacifier until she was 4, it messed up her teeth and she spoke with a lisp until she was 7 and had speech therapy! I threw the pacifiers away and listened to her cry herself to sleep for one night and then it was over! If it wasn't for the problem with her teeth, I would not have taken it away from her. You have bigger things in life to stress over. Listen to mom and grandma, they are experienced and know what they are talking about most of the time! You are very blessed to have their support!
What I did to break my 2 1/2 year old of the bottle was that we went out and bought a brand new sippy cup that they got to pick out. And after we bought those we had a long talk about how bottles are for babies and we are big girls now and that some other baby needs to use those bottles and we bagged them all up and took them to goodwill. Talk to you Mom and Grandmother and tell them that it is hard but they have to help you with this process it is very long and hard but very worth it!!! Tell them about the orthapedics of bottles and children, that is ruins their teeth, if you someone to back you up call your dentist and talk to them and any dentist will back you up on it.
