Seeking Help in Sleep Thrashing All Night.

I recently read this in a magazine from a child psychologist, and since we have had problems with night terrors, we decided to try it and it seemed to work. Try reading a favorite book or story and then before he goes to sleep ask him what he wants to dream about and then make some pleasant suggestions: like building sandcastles on the beach, playing at the park, etc.
We have tried this with my son (3 yr old) and he comes up with his favorite activities, etc. and has been sleeping much better and waking in better mood. Good Luck!

my granson was afraied allso so I had a stuffed monkey and told him Harry would stay and watch over him. It worked

You need monster spray -- it's the best thing ever. It's really simple to find: any air freshner that's really smelly, the more pungent the better.

Tell your grandson that as long as he can smell the monster spray (or, in your case, Eyeball Repellent), the eyeball can't get to him. Then spay the stuff in the air. A heavy dose of something stinky will usually last until your grandson falls asleep.

To combat the night waking problem, you might want to cheat a little and saturate a small cloth with the spray. Then place the cloth near his pillow so that he can smell it when he wakes up.

To combat the fear of the dark, try a nightlight or a flashlight. Some of the toddler flashlights are designed to turn themselves off if they aren't moved after a few minutes. It's the perfect thing to give your child: he can easily control the light (control = sense of safety) but it turns itself off once he falls asleep, thus preserving batteries.

Eyeball Repellant and a night light or flashlight should solve most of your problem. They did for both of my sons.

D.,

I am a mother of a 3 1/2 and 5 y/o. When my boys complain that they are scared at night I have always told them "when mommy, daddy or grandma or papa are here, nothing will be able to hurt you". I understand that this may not help initially but through repitition they have learned that each time I made the statement, sure enough, nothing happened. Now they find comfort in the reassurance and fall asleep without a second thought. This has worked for me. Hope you find a solution!!

Hi D., I was just looking through old emails and had an idea about your situation. Maybe try watching 'Monsters Inc' with your grandson. If you haven't seen it, it is a sweet film about some very friendly, lovable monsters. The main characters are Sully, who looks like an overgrown cookie monster, and a character called Mike, who is basically a big green eyeball. Trust me if your grandson's eyeball looked like Mike (only red) he could not possibly be afraid of him. It's definitely worth watching so you can decide whether it will help. Good luck. Bless him, it's hard being small. All the best, D.

Hi D.!

What I loved about your post, is the way you tried so hard to help your Grandson. Just because YOU know that eyeballs don't "float" in mid air, doesn't mean he believes that :o) You simply understand that his ideas are very real. That's what he needs most right now, is to be "believed".

There is always one kid (usually with an older sibling) that can "ruin" things for our kids.......like what has happened to your grandson. He was probably a great sleeper and all, now he won't go anywhere in his own home!

We've been through something similar with our son. The things that worked the most was the "weapon" he was allowed to sleep with.....a play sword, gun or whatever he thought he needed. After a few nights of that, I began to realize that he was SERIOUS and VERY afraid in his own room! So, I layed in his bed with him with the weapon in MY hand. I told him not to worry, but I would hold the weapon for him while he was sleeping. He finally got the sleep he needed.

This took longer to "recover" from than I had hoped. I mean, once we finally got "over" the fear of something scary outside the window, then it was just the "need" to help him sleep through the night in his bed. Which I was expecting because I was creating an extra "security" in his room by sleeping in there. But, I felt it was up to me to create that security...I am the mom :o)

Anyway, to get us back to "normal", I had to do the same things that a mom would do if she were trying to get a child back into their own bed after sleeping with in mommy's bed for so long. I know these routines because my older boy was like that :o) It probably took 4 months, maybe longer (he's 11 now and I can't remember).

Maybe to help your grandson, a "weapon" would give him security. But, I would recommend that someone lay in his bed to see what he see's at night. There might actually be a shadow that scares him. He may need a different night light.

They have these electric "glow sticks" for under the bed, so a child feels safer at night.

I hope things get better for your grandson. I believe this is more normal than not.

Good luck!

:o) N.

Dear D.,
Oh boy. This one really hit home for me. Several girls did the same thing to me in kindergarten. Except they told me that there was a ghost in the mirror in the bathroom at school that watched me and could come out and get me. I wet my pants at school several times because I was afraid to go in the bathroom. And, I was even afraid to be in any room at home that had a mirror in it. Especially at night. My sister and I had a dressing table with a mirror in our bedroom and I would freak and scream and cry. I would try hiding under the covers, but that didn't help much. Furthermore, the girls said that if I told anybody about the ghost I would not be safe.
As a parent, I have often looked back and wondered what in the world went on in other kids lives that they would get such a kick out of doing something like that. At such a very young age!
I suffered in silence, I was so afraid. I even tried hiding under the covers, but I just could not sleep. Then, one night, the cat jumped up on my bed and I came completely unglued. I thought it was the ghost jumping on me. My parents found me completely drenched in sweat and hyperventilating and screaming that all the mirrors had to be taken out right away. I finally told my parents about the ghost and what the girls had said. For a while though, I still had to have someone go into the school bathroom with me so I could go potty.
The thing to remember is that even though the "thing" isn't real, the FEAR is. And fear can take on a life of it's own.
You may have to ask the preschool teacher to talk to the other boy and/or the parents. Why is that little boy saying he saw such a thing? Is he exposed to scary things or is it something he saw on TV or a movie or something? Maybe the other boy had a bad dream about it? And, if he thought it was just a funny joke, the little boy may have to tell your grandson that he just made it up because he thought it was funny and he's sorry for saying something that wasn't true.
The other thing is to let your grandson know that sometimes kids make up stories. That's not always a bad thing. It's good to use your imagination. But there is a difference between something that is real and something that is imagined. Try reading him a book, something like "The Three Little Kittens". Start at the very first page where it says "written by" and say the name. Explain that it's just a story that this person thought of. "Illustrated by"....say the person's name and explain that this is the person who used their imagination to draw the pictures for the story. As you read the story, talk about how kittens don't REALLY wear mittens, and their mommy's don't REALLY make them wash them. It's just a story. Some stories that people tell are happy and some are sad and some are scary. But that doesn't make them real.
No offense, but to a 4-1/2 year old, adults are ancient. Tell him...."Look how old mommmy, and daddy, and teacher and grandma and grandpa are! Surely, if there were wayward eyeballs just running around, (with no legs!)we would all know."
Like I said, I vividly remember being so scared too.
I hope some of this helps. I really feel for the little guy.

Best of wishes.

Hi D.,

Childen can be mean to one another sometimes. I would go out and buy a candy or toy that was like an eye ball and tell him you found it in the toy store and buy it for him so he has control over it.

Hope it helps.

N. Marie

D.,
How about a night light in his room? This way it won't be completely dark and if it shines next to the window, it will be harder to see out of it because of the reflection. Maybe tell him that the light is too bright for the eyeball.
Good luck!

Does he have a nightlight? Maybe that would help so that when he wakes up at night, he's not in the dark.

I read a parenting article that suggested getting the child to laugh about the monster to deflate the issue. Our son (6yo) does not usually have issues with monsters, but just recently he did. First I tried giving him a flashlight "to scare it away", and the usual spiel about monsters aren't real. That was not working. Then I tried being funny about it, and that really seemed to help. Being goofy does not come naturally to me, so it was hard. But I asked my son what kind of monster was it - the big, fuzzy kind or the scaly kind. He went along with that and choose one. Then I said I would call the monster's mom to say that it was too late to play today and try to arrange a play date for during the day. My son smiled (and gave me a look like I was being silly), but stayed in bed without any further fuss that night. He has not mentioned monsters again. (It's been a few weeks.)

I think it helps to talk about it as if it were real, rather than denying that it exists. Perhaps the eyeball is lost and needs help. Maybe you found out there is a land of eyeball creatures and they have special xray powers that they use to help people. If you could come up with some scenario so that they were friendly, I think that would help. And if you could get him to laugh about it, that would be even better.

Good luck!
D.

Hello,

I am so sorry that your grandson has trouble getting his much needed rest. My suggestion would be the following: Try and be creative - wake him up at night and do night walks. Try to show him that the night is full of beautiful things such as nightactive animals and at the same time show him that there are no red eyeballs anywhere. Maybe you can borrow a nightactive hamster from a friend or so. I think even a night light such as the Mobi TykeLight Buddy (Green or whatever color avail.) could be something that he can take to bed with him safely and it could help as being a nightly buddy and protector against all bad! If his troubles continue I would seek professional help from a child psychologist since sleep is soooo important for his development. All of my suggestions are merely coming from a gut feeling of mine. I feel that doing versus just "saying" is better in this case. I was a child with a crazy imagination - my son (15 months) has not had imaginary trouble so far. J.

Hey - don't use the room spray option to fight the monsters unless you use a non-toxic spray. The "brands" such as Johnson & Johnson etc are all very toxic! Please don't do it - they are proven to contain harmful toxines - it even says so on the bottle! "Only spray in well ventilated areas" not your grandson's bedroom!

Poor little guy! My own son went thru some fear of the dark at age four. I suggest that you not try to talk him out of it, he feels what he feels. It may be very comforting to him if you simply listen and reflect (an eye at your window, that doesn't sound nice, I can see why you felt scared.) so that he gets the message it's ok to be scared & it happens to everyone sometimes, then offer help in the form of something he can do("sometimes when I feel scared, what helps me is to...how about we try that.")

He might like to draw pictures about it during the day, and you can make up stories to tell about a boy who saw a scary eye and figured out a way to make it disappear & became a superhero making scary eyes disappear from all kid's windows... as long as it has a happy ending!

Anyway, you get the idea, just be accepting of his feelings, and give him words to describe it, and ideas of how to deal with it, so that instead of trying to stuff his frightened emotions and go it alone, he gets the message that it's ok to feel bad and ask for help so that you can feel better.

Unfortunately at this age kids have trouble distiguishing fact from fantasy despite what you tell them. Be sure to comfort him and read him a story before bed.

A great tool my son used was one of those Tiger Bright Flashlights from Discovery Toys. You push a button and the tigers mouth opens as it growls, and turns on the flashlight. My son used his to scare off the monsters with the Tiger's ferocious growls.

A night light also helps, but make sure it is not too bright or it will interfere with his sleep.

For night terrors we use Rescue Remedy in the spray form. You don't even have to wake them up, just open the mouth and spray. It calms the child. I heard about it on a Mommy board I am on, and the lady that posted said after a few nights of using it the night terrors went away.

Good luck!

T.
Founder
www.theparentpack.org

Another thing to try is "monster spray", or in his case "eyeball spray". You can make it with scented water (like lemon squeezed into water) or any kind if spray you buy in the store. Just tell him it's special spray that makes eyeballs stay away and let him spray his room before bed. If he is on the ground level, let him go outside before bed and spray there. If not, open the window and let him spray all around the outside. Just remember, kids love to spray this sometimes over and over, so make sure you like the scent too! LOL

The EXACT same thing happened to my daughter...she must have went to preschool with this kid's brother!!

Here is what worked for her. We took the popular idea of a spray bottle full of water that wards off monsters under the bed and adjusted it for the red eyeball.

RED eyeballs are scary (according to my daughter). So we used her preschool-learned skills of determining what colors we could mix with red to make a color that was not scary. She loves purple & pink, so we added some blue food coloring to the spray bottle, went outside during the day, and sprayed the bushes & grass near her room with this mix. That night she was all excited because "it worked" and the eyeball not only was a lovely shade of purple now, but it also had long pink eyelashes.

My guess is that she felt more in control of it and therefore changed the image to something that didn't bug her & something she could then forget about.

There was actually a really great Blue's Clues episode (the OLD one) where Blue had a bad dream and Steve helped her change the images that looked scary into images that were bright and fun (cast iron gates into birthday candles for example). I had it on tape & watched it often with my kids whenever bad dreams started to crop up.

Good luck!