Seeking Help in Potty Training 3 1/2Yr Old Son

Updated on July 21, 2009
R.W. asks from North Ridgeville, OH
11 answers

Help! I am trying to potty train my 3 1/2yr old son and he wants nothing to do with the potty. He has done #2 in the potty only twice, but no #1. I am at my wits end. I have tried the reward system. Every time I try to sit him on the potty, he hits me and stands up and pulls his pants up.

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So What Happened?

We have potty training success! It has been 1 1/2 months since we started and we have been accident free (except for #2) for 3 weeks. Now if I can get him to go #2 on the potty, I will be very happy. He is now even telling me that he has to go to the potty. I think we will be ready to start preschool in November as planned.

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M.M.

answers from Cleveland on

He is not ready yet. It's best if you back off and wait another 3-6 months and try again. He is clearly frustrated and needs a break. I agree that hitting should not be tolerated however he is merely trying to tell you that he is not ready and you are pushing him too hard. Please consider backing off and trying again when he is ready. There is no magic age at which children have to be potty trained. They will learn when they are ready.

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

If your youngest has learning disabilities then you are starting potty training too early. My child also had developmental issues and he was not potty trained until sometime at 4. I would also talk to your doctor that you are working with for his learning disabilities,. He may know someone who can work with you. And please do not punish him.

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K.V.

answers from Columbus on

try the book "Toilet training in one day" by azin and foxx. I used the method with my 3 1/2 year old son and it really works. I had a get experience and both my son and I found the experience very rewarding. Please keep in mind that your son will have accidents from time to time and its not unuaual for boys to do so until they reach 5 years of age.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hitting you is not to be tolerated under any circumstance. Be firm. Sit him in there first thing in AM and take his pants away. Always punish him for hitting you. Let him know he is to go in the potty before he comes out to play or have breakfast. Keep at it. He is old enough now to be done with potty training.

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M.W.

answers from Cleveland on

I know your frustration. My son will be 4 in November and it was very difficult to get him to use the potty. If I made him sit he never went. Finally I let him stand on little step stool and aim at a piece of toilet paper in the potty. It worked. He now goes all by himself. Now #2 I'm still having a little trouble with him so I can't help you there:) Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from South Bend on

It is easier for little boys to go pee standing up. Try getting a small step he can stand on up to the toilet and make it fun for him. They like to go outside in the grass too. Catch him just before getting into the shower and let him know he has to go to the bathroom first. Just get him participating. Hope this helps.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'm not sure this is a "learning disability issue" rather than just not wanting to do it. No kid wants to learn to be potty trained. AND boys just sometimes take longer to do things than girls. My neighbor has twin 5 year old boys and had issues with potty training long after my 5 year old had it "under control" (seemingly).

Keep the potty chair around...he should eventually show signs of interest. When he's ready - use the "potty first" system. Anything he wants if fine, as long as he potty's first. We found that that serves as better incentive than any sort of reward system that we could think of because whatever it is they want becomes the reward. If he wants a drink - okay, potty first. If he wants to watch a movie, okay potty first.

Kids don't want to take time out from whatever they're doing to go potty. Going potty isn't fun, and there's really nothing you can do to make it fun. Typically when they come to you asking for stuff it's because the position they were sitting in suddenly became so uncomfortable that it forced them to get up and move to go do something else. Once they get into "something else", they relax, and then there's an accident. We saw it happen too many times with our oldest, and with our neices/nephews.

Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Boys are often more difficult to potty-train, and your son sounds like he has a stubborn streak! He is definitely old enough to know better than to hit his mama, so I would nip that in the bud! When I was working in daycare, hitting a teacher was an instant time-out.

In my experience, boys like learning to stand up to pee. It can be a bit messy at first, but boys have more fun doing it. www.onestepahead.com sells a potty-training urinal, and although I have never used it before, I have several friends who swear by them. Before spending the money, you might have your husband take your son to a public restroom a couple of times and see if going in a urinal holds any appeal for your son. If it does, this may be the way to go, at least at first. Good luck!

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K.

answers from Lima on

You might see if he will pee standing up. Have your husband or, if you know a potty trained 4 or 5 yr old, show him how to do it. My son found this much more fun to do than sitting on the potty. Going #2 took him longer to figure out. good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Dayton on

try www.pottyscotty.com

It's potty training in less than a day and it works great!

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K.S.

answers from Columbus on

I agree with Eileen. You say your son has a learning disability. He just may not be ready. Please don't punish him. Back off and see how he does. He'll get there, it just may take a little longer. My son also has some developmental delays, and as a parent you just have to realize and accept that there are things that they won't do at the same time as the other kids. But, they do get there.

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