Potty Training a Boy Standing Up?

Updated on June 09, 2010
D.C. asks from Addison, IL
13 answers

I posted last week about potty training a 3 year old. (Actually, he's close to 40 months). Anyway, I have tried all the "traditional" approached, with rewards, sitting on the potty at regular times, going "commando," etc. We had a little success, but now he just wants to sit on the potty and listen to music. He doesn't go at all until a few minutes after he gets down...but of course standing up. I have let him go naked and follow him around when I think he might go, and I'm just wondering if anyone has had any success trying this approach...letting the little guy learn to go standing up. It seems he doesn't "get" the connection between feeling like he has to go and actually going while sitting on the potty. I'm wondering if I keep showing him that his urine belongs in this potty (even if he is doing it standing up while playing, walking around, etc.) will work. All the books say to teach boys to sit down at first, but if he's eventually going to go standing up, will this approach work?

Sorry...getting very worried he wont' be able to attend preschool next year. I appreciate ANY and ALL help I can get. Anyone ever hire one of those potty training experts? :)

Thanks

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone. I really like that idea (as strange as it may seem) of rewarding Dad for going. That may just work! The whole standing up thing is appealing to me, simply since my son will sit on the potty and not go, but go soon after while standing up, playing. I've also realized in the past week that he has the ability to hold it for a very long time...six to eight hours if he knows he's not wearing a diaper or pull-up. I just think potty training is so much harder than even learning to breastfeed or dealing with the wakefulness of a newborn! Thanks for all the support...hopefully something works!

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

It was a little embarassing, but my wife and my sons would watch me standing "making bubbles". My wife would then "reward" me with M&Ms and make a big deal out of it. My son wanted the M&Ms and we told him he could have some if he made bubbles too. I only had to "show" my oldest two. My other sons learned from their brothers.

It was funny, the first time, when my sons showed my daughter and she wanted to stand and make bubbles too. ;-)

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yep... I've heard that suggestion MANY times... give him something fun to aim at! Cheerios, Trix, Corn pops... really, ANYTHING small and flushable... lol.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

He will train when he is ready, you can't rush him. Try cheerios in the potty and tell him to pee on them. Sounds gross but really works.

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

Let the boy stand! :) You have to do what is best for him. My oldest did better standing up while my middle son did better sitting backwards on the toilet for a while. You don't have to follow every "they must be doing it this way" you come across. You have to do what is best for your child and you know him best. In fact, I find my children go against most things like that. LOL

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

My son, a little younger than yours, thinks peeing standing up is hysterical. Hey, if he goes, he goes, right? After a couple times they don't miss too much. If he'd rather go standing up, let him. Good luck. Potty training is the worst.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You could try it! Does he need a sturdy stool to stand on to get to the right level? Have him "aim" at some Cheerios.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Having two boys and potty training them at the same time, I think training boys is the most difficult task. I don't remember your post, but here's how I trained my boys at 3. I put them on a schedule, first every hour they took a potty break until no accidents occur. If they can hold for an hour, I extended potty breaks for 30 minutes until they mastered 1 hr and 30 minutes an so on. During potty break, if your son listens to music that's ok, but I bought a potty book for boys. This is a little cartoon book about a little boy named Henry. Both boys loved it. I would read to them until they went potty or poop. By the time they were potty trained they memorized the book and started to read to me at the end. The trick is consistency, consistency, consistency. I think your son will be trained by the end of July so he might be able to go to preschool. Most boys are potty trained by 3. In the summer, if they are running through the sprinkler I let them go naked and peed outside. I never let them do that inside. Plus, get rid of the huggies underwear, won't let the child know if he had an accident.

Good Luck,

That was the worst having boys was potty training, but eventually, they will get trained.

Oh, he's comfortable standing up..let him. My boys did it too.

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K.L.

answers from Peoria on

May not work in your situation, but my husband taught a nephew how to pee by peeing off the porch. We live on a farm and so not an issue where he could flash anyone. The nephew of course thought it was the coolest thing ever and was pretty much instantly potty trained.

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

My son was about the same age (and situation...needing to be ready for preschool in the fall) when we got really serious. Ditch all pull-ups except at night bedtime and go with big boy undies. I always taught him to stand up when peeing. That's how daddy does it and it can be very difficult and scary for them to have to let go of the potty and push themselves down so they can pee IN the toilet. I actually bought him a plastic urinal from Walmart for $20 because it was fun to use and the height was adjustable...we only used it for about 4 months but it was worth the $. Take him to the bathroom every 10, 20, 30 minutes for a week after that let him adjust to the signals from his body...there will be accidents but he'll get it figured out. #2 can be intimidating so when he does go talk about how cool it is floating around in there...still do the wiping for sure! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

All 5 of my boys learned by standing up! It is much easier when you are out in public...they do not have to touch anything!! If he is not tall enough to reach the toilet in public just have him stand on your feet, it works great. If I was potty training in the summer I would also give them a special bush/tree that they could use in the yard. Sounds crazy but they would never want to stop playing outside to come in to go when they were just learning. Plus, it made it fun for them! When they started to catch on, they would get a treat at the end of the day for having clean underwear instead of treats each time they went. OH...I should mention we live on an acre so there were plenty of private spots. Good luck! I know how frustrating it can be! My youngest will be 3 on Friday and still will not poop without a diaper! So, I can give advice for #1 but I need advice for #2 :)

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

With my almost 4 year old, he learned sitting down first and then transitioned when he felt ready. We also had to try 2 different times, the first time he wasn't ready, and then the 2nd, he was. I think however he feels comfortable, go with that since that is what we learned. You have to let them go somewhat at their own pace and not push too hard, otherwise they just regress. Ease up and see if it makes a difference. We also bought "big boy" underwear and he was not able to wear them until he was ready to go like a big boy. We had a few poop accidents the first 2 months after he was potty trained and then not one after that.

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K.

answers from Peoria on

yep, why not let him try standing up if he wants? my little guy just turned 3 and that is what worked best for him. he wasn't quite tall enough in the beginning, but i didn't like the idea of him standing on/falling from a stool, so i just had him stand on my feet! now he is tall enough to handle it on his own.
good luck!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I've known moms who have their little guys pee in the shower to help with the training. Or run water from a faucet to help stimulate the urge.

For target practice, I recently saw the suggestion of using colored ice cubes in the toilet. Seems to me that would be a very desirable target, in addition to the cheerios idea.

Good luck. Try not to get too emotionally invested in your son's potty success. Tension will translate into greater distraction and less likelihood of his connecting well with his own sensations. Next fall is still a very long way away, when you consider what a large fraction of your son's life a few months is.

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