I think every woman and man at some point has these feelings or thoughts about their marriage. Some of us act upon them and divorce and others try to figure out what to change the relationship.
Marriage is blissful in the beginning with all the dreams of what ifs and then the reality settles in of the day to day living together for better or for worse. Yes, we do see the worse side(s) of our spouse. We get to see the real person who has let their hair down and sometimes we are in for shocks. Well, as these changes occur so do we, we grow up and we either grow together as a unit or we grow apart as strangers.
Happiness is what we make of it for ourselves. No one can make us happy but us. Once we realize that we can be better people and do more things.
Have you done anything together lately as a couple? Have you had a date night to remember why you married each other? Have you been spending too much time with your baby avoiding hubby? Have you looked at the vows that you took at the alter for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and for richer or for poorer til death do us apart? Look at each of these are look really deep down at the meaning.
I say this because after many years of marriage I too was about to go out the door when hubby became gravely ill. I had to have him rushed to the hospital and fight with the ER staff to do an xray of his head to find out there was more trouble than they thought and have him flown out out a flight for life to another city. I would not know if he were dead or alive until I got to the hospital the next day. On his way out in another ambulance to the airport I said to God he is in your hands. The doctor told him when we took the clot out you came back becaue he was at the end of the golden hour of life. He thanks me every day for what I did and he also sees just how much of an as----- he was to the whole family and is trying to right all the wrongs.
Yes, I feel as if I have been a rolling ball of fire for the last two year and was spit out with singed edges still smoking but I did come out of it and I have a new friend. We do things now he would not have stooped to do or enjoyed to do. Next month we will celebrate our 39th anniversary.
So for all of you "newlyweds" life goes on and it is up and down but it is what you make of it. Our children are grown and life in different states than us about 7 hours away so we only have each other to lean on in the later years of life. I relate very well the the warts, the discust of sex and so on but life is what you make of it.
Get yourself a hobby that only you do and do it. Become selfish and take time for you and say NO because then you become a better person. Stop putting you last. You are a woman, a wife and a mother in that order not a mother, a wife, and a woman. Otherwise there will be no woman for anyone to think or dream about.
Sorry for being so long winded. Remember nothing of any value is gained in a short race it is the long haul and the changes that you go through that make you who you are. Life is a journey and not a race.
Peace to you.
The other S.