Seeking Advise for Getting My 2 Boys to Bed

Updated on June 02, 2008
A.M. asks from Newton, IA
11 answers

I have two boys ages 2 & 3. They sleep in the same room and I am having problems getting them to go to bed & stay in bed to go to sleep. They play, they run around, anything but staying in bed and going to sleep. I have tried putting them in time out, putting them to bed seperatly, a sticker chart with rewards if they do good & get stickers, and I am truly getting to my whits end! I honestly am not sure what I can do.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for their advise. We have established a bit more of a routine during the day which has seemed to help and if they get out of bed at night I have started taking their blankets, pillows, bed animals, toys ect off the bed and out of the room....Once they stay in bed for a bit then they earn one item back. If they get out of bed again after they have earned an item back then they get that item taken away again. If it is a really bad night and we take everything off the bed, then they have to lay on the floor for a couple of minutes before getting back into bed. We have seen great improvements with the boys!

Featured Answers

K.C.

answers from Davenport on

You might try reading them an interactive book. Not one that makes them physically interactive, but one they can participate in. With my kids, their (and my) favorite book was 10 IN THE BED, a Dorling/Kindersly book. I let them say what the little boy in the book said, "Roll over. Roll over." then make the noise of the stuffed animal that fell out (mouse fell out...tink!). My kids loved it and were content to sit and read with me because they felt like they were reading too. It was time well spent and it engaged them without reving them up. After that, I would read them another story that would help them lay quiet. Once story time was over, they knew it was time for bed and would be wound down enough to actually sleep. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

After you have gone through your regular bedtime routine, turn off the light and sternly admonish them to stay in bed. As soon as they jump up to play, go in (don't turn on the light) and give each one two sound swats on the bottom, put them directly back into bed with another brief, but stern admonition and walk out. We call it a "blitz." Usually the shock is enough to straighten them up. It may take a couple of times (I stand by the partially closed door so I can "blitz" at the first sign of goofing off) but eventually they will realize there is no positive side to getting out of bed. The idea is to impress upon them the fact that you are in charge and they are not - their time will come later. :)

SAHM of seven

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

Maybe try what the Super Nanny does: when they get out of bed, don't talk to them or interact in any way, just lay them back down. It may take HOURS but they will learn that it is BEDTIME and they need to go to bed. The most important thing is to stand your ground, be consistant, and don't give up. YOU are in charge. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have six boys and bed time issues were always a problem, but we were firm and consistent and eventually, we won. This worked well up until the last one. He was born 13 months after his brother, and somehow the two of them finally out lasted my resolve. What one child would willingly give up, the two together had enough stuff to continue to do. Maybe it was because I was older with them and didn't have the stamina, but it just seemed that their collective will was stronger than mine. We did end up having to separate them just to maintain sanity. Honestly, if they had been 1 and 2, they would have grown up in a small family! You may need to put them in separate spaces for a while. Maybe even just blocking their visual of each other would help.

Don't worry though, this stage doesn't last forever, even though it feels that way.

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J.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

Amamda,

All I have to say is good luck.

My parents had three girls in the same bedroom, 3 years age difference. We did everything we could to stay awake and keep our parents busy. LOL! I remember it like it was yesterday. My mom had 5 kids in 4 years. Yes! "2" sets of twins! Trying to get all of us to sleep was a job in a half!

You have to wear them down, keep them active enough that they are too tired. Either that or put them to work. Let them know if they don't be quiet that there are dishes to clean or chores to do. My mom always threatened us with housework.

It worked!

J.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Do you have a bedtime routine? If not try to establish one. When my kids were little I had a nightly routine: Dinner, a bath, a story, bed time. It is not always easy or possible to do this. On weekends when we tend to go out more the routine can become "forgotten". But it works. It may take about 2 weeks to establish this, but kids soon realize that the routine is here to stay. It also is a sub-conscious thing. Their minds will soon learn to relax and calm down as they expect sleep after their routine. On weekends even if you are out late or their routine is off be sure to read a story to them. It seems to remind the mind that it is time to sleep.

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A.H.

answers from Sheboygan on

hi A., with my older two i would sit in the room not say anything if theygot up i would return them back to ther bed without a word they would try to interact anyway they could just to stay up i would say nothing after 3 or 4 weeks i would go in put them to bed read the book say i love yous and good nights i would then go sit in my spot and not say anything within 5 min they would be out we did the samething only after our book i love yous and good night i would then sit out side the door it finaly got where i did not have to do the sit game only story time before bed Good Luck and stick with what works best for your boys

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L.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

What do you do during the day when they do not listen to you? When I ask my almost 3 and 4 year old to do something or stop doing something, if they do not listen to me I ask again, and then I start counting to three in an authoritive tone. When I get to three, which rarely ever happens anymore, they get put in their rooms for time out, or if warrented, they get a spanking. Depends on what they are in trouble for or how badly they are acting out. If it is not picking up a mess, bed. If it is saying bad words or doing something that is hurting the other, spanking and bed. My four year old shares a room with his older brother who is 10. When he will not stop talking or playing to let Aaron go to sleep it is a big deal because Aaron has school the next day. So we go in there ask him to be quiet, and the second time we are more vocal about it, third time he will be spanked. We by no means beat our kids or anything. They get one swat and then we hug it out tell them we love them and don't like to have to do that, and they are fine. Rarely do we ever have to get past the counting anymore. However you punish your kids is your business, but not going to bed when you ask is the same as not picking up their toys when you ask, or refusing to eat their veggies, ect. Deal with it the same way so that you are always consistant and you will be successful.

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

A., your boys need their brain activity to slow down in order to calm down their bodies for a good night's sleep:

Pick out CHAPTER books that are calm but interesting: Charlotte's Web, Winnie the Pooh, Francis, Little Bear (boys LOVE Little Bear). Tuck them into their beds ("the story won't start until you are both tucked in...") and sit by their beds and read aloud, slowly and softly.

Show them the pictures if you want to but don't let them touch the book - this is story time and they need to create the pictures in their heads.

Once they start getting into the story, they will RUN to bed looking forward to finding out what happened at Little Bear's birthday party, or whether or not Winnie the Pooh found the North Pole.

They will fall asleep before you are done reading for the night, of course. So pay attention to them while you read so that you remember where you left off.

Then, make a trip every week to the library to seek out new and better bedtime stories, giving you something to do for fun when they are awake that will also stimulate them to know when it is time to be quiet and respectful.

If one falls asleep before the other, you can keep reading or sing him a sweet bedtime song. Mom's bedtime songs are the best! If you feel you can't sing, bring a tape/cd player into the room and put on quiet word-free music. He'll love falling asleep with the music and the images of his new book friends in his head.

Also, get them into the habit of choosing one of their favorite stuffed animals or dolls to listen to the story with them in their bed so they have a story buddy. They may change animals/dolls with every story, or may choose the same one for an eternity. This will be the last thing they do before they climb into bed... knowing that their friend is missing the story will give them a feeling of importance and reverence.

Now THEY are in charge of someone else who NEEDS them in order to have their own good bedtime experience.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

A., i had 3 boys, same issue, when they shared a room , even when they did not share a room they found time to be in each others rooms and play when i send them to bed, they are older now, 20, 16, 14, they still find time to go in other rooms and play quietly , hahahah while they are young i would suggest, putting in their room a nice mommy spot, take a book and plan on being in there for a couple hours, hahaha sit and tell them to go to bed , but this may not work either, they will wait you out, and still do it, also if they continue , you can start bed time earlier, if they are playing for 2 hours , then start bed time earlier, then by the time you want them asleep, hopefully it might work too, but its nice they want to be together, and do what you can , and just get through it, it may never work, well good luck, hope something works for you , i know the frustration, D. s

K.C.

answers from Omaha on

My son is 2 years old and we have had this problem also. What we did was simply keep putting him back in bed any time he gets up. The first couple of nights were very stressful and he got up A LOT of times, but now he usually only gets up one time and some nights he doesn't get up at all! If he gets really bad now, I put his favorite toy in time out.

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