Seeking Advice on How to Get My 2.5 Year Old to Poop in the Toliet

Keep her in a pull-up and relax. Try again in a couple of months and be patient. Most kids will do it when they are ready. Also use "big-girl underwear" as an incentive, only allow her to wear it when she has pooped in the potty.

Let her run around without panties or pants on. She won't want to poop on the floor or down her leg! That worked for me. Also I don't know if you are using the "big potty" or a little potty chair, but maybe when she went last time, water from the toilet splashed up on her or somehow freaked her out? If you still have your little potty chair, maybe she would like to sit on that one instead (or vice versa). My other thought is, wherever she is going potty, can her feet touch the floor or stepstool? That may help. My daughter is also 2.5 and she has become very adamant that I leave the room when she poops ("Weave me awone!" she yells). Maybe your daughter has performance anxiety too? Hard to say. Two year olds don't seem to have a whole lot of logic sometimes! =)

My wife and I have a 8 year old boy who sometime's go's on the toilet,but he rather poop in his pant's.It's not only embarrasing but we feel we did something wrong when he was at the potty training age,were not alone in this,we were told too seek help,we dont punish him for doing this, only because we feel it's not the right thing too do,why punish him for something that might have a medical reason for this.

Oh A., I sympathize with your plight completely! I remember when my oldest son (who is now 8) went through this. He was exactly like your daughter. He would potty in the potty, but NEVER poop in the potty. I talked to his pediatrician about it, and I learned that some children have fear issues when it comes to going poop in the potty. It has something to do with having the feeling that a part of their body is "falling off" into the potty, which is why they will poop as soon as they have their underwear on (because they don't feel it falling from their body with something on).

I know this is stressful, especially if you are having to clean out her panties every time she goes, but I can only advise you to strive for patience. My son was 4 before he would go poop in the potty, and believe me there were plenty of times I wanted to super glue his little tush to the toilet so he wouldn't have any other choice! ;o) I also had 3 children at the time, (2 of them in diapers), so I understand the urgency you feel to have at least one of your children completely potty trained. This is a natural feeling to have as a mom, (especially if you are a SAHM) unfortunately, children have their own timetable when it comes to potty training. My son would even go so far as to put on one of his brother's diapers to go poop. He absolutely freaked out if I set him on the toilet to go. I finally decided for my own sanity, and my son's that I would not force the issue with him.

To make things a little less stressful for you (especially with a baby in the house), I would suggest that you put your daughter back into pull-ups. At least when she goes poop in those you can just peel them off and throw them away instead of having to clean up a poopy mess everytime. It isn't worth it to try and make her go in the potty, because ultimately all you are doing is creating stress and frustration for yourself and your little girl. I promise, no matter how it may seem right now, she will not start Kindergarten in diapers! :0) Best of luck A., I hope I was able to encourage you a little bit!

~I am a stay at home mom with four children; ages: 11, 8, 6, & 2. I have been married to the same wonderful man for 13 years, and I am an avid reader and writer.~

Hi A., I had the same prob with both of my kids. easier with my daughter, but now I have cleared that hurdle with my son in the last month or so. My son is in pre-school and they are wonderful!! They said, when you think the child is ready, put them in underwear and don't look back. the pull-ups tend tend to confuse them. we still use pull-ups at night, but having complete success in the day time. Watch for signs that might tell you he's about to poop... hiding, funny faces, or a typical time of day. also, is you child using a little potty? If so, it was and still is a huge help to put it in the living room in front of the tv. and make sure they can put their feet on the floor. It really is a fear thing that holds them back, like someone else said earlier, the falling sensation. Good luck!! I hope you get through this soon

I was the one seeking this same advice a few months ago. The advice that worked for me was to have my son wear undies but when he had to poop, HE would change into a pullup. When he was done we would put undies back on. SOmetimes it took 20 minutes, sometimes an hour for him to go. At first he could run around the house with the pullup on. Then we mentioned that we would like him to wear the pullup in the bathroom while he pooped. When he was done, he watched us drop the poo in the toilet and let him flush. Sometimes he would wait too long and I would say"just sit up on the toilet a minute while I find a pullup," and I would purposefully take a little while, and he would go just a bit in the toilet. I would praise him and bunch and let him finish in the pullup(if he wanted to). Now he just goes on the toilet...no pullup. He still has accidents. But they are much fewer. Good luck.

I completely agree with what Michelle A. had to say. My doctor told me the same thing (that they feel like they're losing a piece of themselves). My son was 3.5 by the time he would go on the potty. We tried everything (praise, candy, toys, etc). In the end it was his choice and when he was ready he just went to the potty and did it on his own. You child obviously isn't ready so don't force it. I know it's hard...I've been there :~)

My son had the same problem. He is 3.5, we let him run around without any pants or pullup around the house and told him that if he needed to go he had to go in the potty because there was nothing to hold it. Low and behold, he went and sat on the potty himself and pooped. I have also tried rubbing his back and lightly pushing down his back so his body might relax to go, also telling him to practice pushing so his focus is on something else. Just a couple of things to try. Good Luck!

Hi A.,

I can't give you a definitive answer because every child is unique but I can share my experience with my two daughter's potty training. I actually think that potty training is a misnomer because both my children made the decision for themselves when it was right for them. I think it's a mistake to force these things on kids to meet our desire for expediency or independence or convenience or whatever it is that we're trying to enforce on them. Bodily functions are tied to their sense of security and control and that should be respected. It tells them that you have faith in their abilities and coming from parents that is empowering! I didn't like changing diapers any more than the next person but in the whole scope of things it's minor, in my opinion. My youngest was scared of a monster in the toilet and also, she really felt the need to make the choice for herself. When I look back on those times when I tried to force it, it was a disaster for both of us. I say relax. I don't know of any normally developing kindergardeners who are still pooping in their pants. Give her some room and she'll figure it out.
Best,
T.

When my son had difficulty learning to go in the toilet, I tried everything for a few weeks with no luck. Then the preschool teacher said "when he does that, put him in the bath tub and make him responsible for the clean up." It took all of my self-control, but I did it. It literally took an hour for him to clean up the mess (and I had to take bleach to the tub afterwards) but he looked up at me after it was over and said, "This is too much trouble, Mommy."
He never had an accident in his pants again. EVER! Good luck!

Hi A.,
My daughter will only poop in the toilet if I leave the room. So I give her a couple of books and her sippy cup of water then leave the bathroom but stay where I can see her. She poops every time! Now if I could get her to tell me when she needs to pee it would be great!
L.