Seeking Advice on Childcare Problems

Any child care facility that would expect a 2 year old to be potty trained and be able to clean themselves properly is not a place I would hope any child would attend. My son is 5 and I still help him clean himself after a BM. Find a new daycare immediately.

ok so if you are worried imagine all the other parents who don't know what is happenning? So i would start asking other parents who go to the same daycare if they have similar problems. If none come out and say anything. Then if they won't fix the problem I would personally take my son out of that daycare and report them to the health department. They need a wake up call.

I agree with the parents that suggest you change day care providers. There are many excellent providers out there that will follow proper hygiene and ensure that your child is clean throughout the day.

However, if you want to keep your child there, then I suggest the following:

1--Talk to the director and teacher together. Point out specific incidents. (On Friday, my child came home with stained underwear. On Thursday we stopped by the potty and it was wet with another child's urine. One week prior he came home with wet pants.)

2--Ask them for specifics on how they will be changing their processes to address these issues. Ask them to provide that to you in writing. Follow up regularly.

3--If problems continue, you need to take your kid out and report them to the appropriate organization that licenses day care centers.

One side note: There's an earlier post from someone criticizing you for having a child in day care. Please don't let that get to you. It's not realistic for every mom to stay home--many want to and can't and some just don't want to be at home. It's an individual choice. It's hard enough to parent our children without people understanding you as an individual and your circumstances. We all make the best decisions we can and ultimately want our children to be happy. What works for one mom doesn't work for others. That's why I love this site--I can pull ideas from different individuals and see what works.

Best of luck!

I just wanted to share with you the other side of the coin, if you will. Not to make excuses for the day care and because I work at one, there are so many children in day cares and only 1 teacher ususally per class. So the teacher cannot leave the whole class while (watching) 1 child. Boys also have problems with aiming. I understand the importance of every child there, but stop and think about the child/teacher ratio. As a teacher, we cannot focus our attention on only one child. We are there for every single one of them. Hope this helps you understand how challenging it is for people that work in day cares and that things will get better for you and your son soon.

Two years old is young for a boy to be fully potty trained and most will have accidents from time to time for any number of reasons. They also have very poor aim. I would think long and hard before reporting this school to any agency and disrupting the lives of all the other parents and students. Your son may simply be too young for this type daycare situation. Perhaps you both might be better served by finding someone who could care for him in either your home or theirs.

Finding a pre-school for my boys was a challenging and tedious task that took a year for me to complete. The school I chose turned out to be one of the best ever. The policy of the school mandates an appropriate teacher to student ratio, with the 2 year olds in a class with at least 2-3 teachers at all times. Bathroom breaks are a class event where the kids line up, the teachers are in the bathroom with the children (the bathroom is open, without doors), butts are wiped, toilets are cleaned. If a child has to use the bathroom between scheduled breaks, a teacher is there to assist that child. I never had any problems with soiled clothes or undies. If my child had an accident, the school required a change of clothes be kept at the school. If we forgot the clothes, they provided clothes. The teachers are fabulous and the curriculum is such that allows for a good balance of education and playtime. This is what you and your child deserve. Yeah, we'd all like to be able to stay home with our kids, but sometimes it just isn't possible - no matter how you budget. You have to know he's TOTALLY well taken care of while you're at work. By the way, you will ALWAYS be his mommy and he will ALWAYS need you - when he's 2 and when he's 22 (I read some of the other "only good mommies stay at home with their kids" posts - don't be discouraged by those who can't see outside of their little world.)
Message me and I'll let you know of a couple of preschools.

Cleanliness is very important. If they are not helping him use the bathroom - supervising him - then they are not having him wash his hands which is a big threat to your son's health.

If you have complained and they did nothing, I would remove him. Those details are very important and need to be tended daily.

I have had two children in daycare and never had this issue. i do teach them to watch out for the potty seat - my daughter doesn't sit but squats and my son runs a paper across. Yucky I know but better than the alternative. They don't really get the hang of this until around four or so.

I would be very upset as you should be too.

PS: 2's usually goes in groups so they have assistance. Are they not having a regular potty routine?

I don't know of any child care facility that doesn't supervise 2s, 3s, and even 4s when going potty. Cleanliness is so important and they can be reported to CPS for not having the kids wash thier hands! Besides- my son is 2 and is small and can't get on the toilet without help- much less not get it dirty getting off!

First, I would find a new place. Second, report it to CPS licensing. My child was always getting sick, bitten, left in dirty clothes. I loved the place because my son loved the people, but after a while- I had to move him. found another pre-school that was WONDERFUL and I would never take him back to the first.

If you are having a problem with this and nothing is being done, chances are- there are other problems that you don't know about. When I finally got up the guts to report the daycare to CPS for them to investigate- turns out they had over 100 violations of licensing (89 of which are considered serious).www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/About_Child_Care_Licensing/

I thought that it wasn't that big of a deal that my son was being sent home with bites from other children- until it started happening every single week. Turns out- one problems meant there were 100 others! I used this site to look at new places with no violations- check it out.

R.,

Here is my professional advice...FIND A NEW SCHOOL!!!!

If you don't stand up for your child...no one will!!! I know you have tried, but they aren't listening...GO SOMEWHERE THAT WILL. If they are ignoring these simply problems what else are they ignoring when parents aren't around.

Best of luck!

I would seek other child care options. Obviously, your expectatins and their expecations are not in sync. Also, a 2 year old still needs some assistance. They are just learning how to potty. I have a 2 1/2 year old that is potty trained and most of the time does not need assistance. However, I still help her wipe. Good luck!

My grandchild who was also fully potty trained started to have the same issue at the same age. The doctor said she was very constipated. He may need to increase his fluid and fiber intake. Many children in daycare develop this problem because the daycares do not give them sufficent potty breaks and fluids through out the day and the children begin to hold it in because it hurts to go.

I actually had this same issue when my 2 year old entered his Pre-School class early (because he was already trained). Since he was just 2, I still obviously helped him wipe at home and really had not been focusing on teaching him all about how to fold the paper, how much to take, to look for dirty stuff and keep trying until the paper was clean, etc.

I noticed skid marks (some more severe then others) and asked the teacher about how potty breaks were conducted. She informed me that they were not allowed by policy, for the protection of the child and themselves, to wipe bottoms once potty trained! I was simply not aware of the policy; worked with my little guy every chance I got on bathroom etiquette (including looking for a dirty seat) and now all is good.

This is a tough one and every facility has a different policy. I would just suggest encouraging self sufficiency then you have nothing to worry about.

Good Luck!
E.

Let's say that your child is fully potty trained and all.......who is there to monitor that he WASHES his hands after he finishes?? 2 yr. old is way too young to be sent to the restroom alone, they still put their fingers in their mouth! Even if you have him trained at home to be independent and take care of himself, he is still a 2 yr. old little boy and he can easily get distracted and forget the steps to good cleanliness after using the potty. This is just not right and I sure hope, for your son's sake, that you look for another daycare. I cannot imagine leaving my son behind and going to work without wondering all day how is he doing, not only with the bath issues but monitoring in other aspects like playtime, feeding time, etc. I wish the best for your little prince.

I guess their definition of potty trained is different from most people's. They must be referring to potty "independence" which few 2 or 3 year olds are and not many 4 year olds can handle the entire task on their own. I would ask them what their definition is to be sure and i would consider finding another school if they expect him to be 100% independent in the task. good luck

Most children aren't potty trained until they are 2 1/2- 3 years old. Even when they are fully potty trained they still are not always capable of thoroughly washing their hands, wiping, etc. The teachers should be taking your child to the bathroom so that they can continue to teach him the proper way of doing things. Even if you like the school and the teachers overall this is a big health concern for your son. You're right to be concerned. You are paying them a good amount of money to take proper care of and teach your son while you are not around. I think you should find a better place. Good luck in whatever you decide!

Find another day care...At two the ratio of child/teacher should be enough that they are helping the kids go to the bathroom. I have three kids and all were in daycare at one time or another and none of the daycares allowed a two year old to go in completely unsupervised. Right now schools (and most daycares that IVe seen) are being super concious about handwashing, etc, especially now with the whole swine flu thing. Usually someone will at least stand at the door. They should be making sure that the toilet isnt gross when a child sits on it and that the kids are washing their hands after...Definitely find another one before flu season hits..Your kids will end up sick all winter.
Good luck!

Do you have to work? Is is absolutely essential? You said you pay a lot for daycare?
Many people just need to do the math. Once you figure out daycare costs, gas/car upkeep, dry cleaning, lunch out, often you realize the "extra"income is not much when those costs are deducted. Add to the mix that your child needs YOU right now. He is TWO. He's been out of your body for TWO years. If there is any way in the world you can manage to be home with him until he is ready for K then I'd do whatever necessary to make that happen.
At least see if you can work part time, take work home, anything to spend more time with your child. I know, I've been there, done that and I made a very hard choice to give up a comfortable lifestyle and stay home with my child. It is not easy but I will never regret it. They grow up very fast and no one else will ever be their Mommy , love them like you do and teach them like you do. Search your heart, do the math and see if you can swing it to be home with him.

gross. at the school i worked at the teachers must go w/ the kids. they are too young to know certain things. i go w/ my son. contact the state. this should not be happening. how do they know their hands are being washed as well. forget about the director or teachers now its time to go above them. your child is probably not the only one.

Keep him at home, there's no excuse for this it is unsanitary and you are right you pay too much for this kind of care. He would get much better care with you as a stay at home mom and you would know what's going on in the bathroom, much less his underwear. This just re-affirms my decision to stay at home with both of my sons. Daycare will never be able to be a substitute for the care and love a mom can give a child. My oldest is now 9 and he was not completely potty trained until he was 3 yrs old+ and I currently have a 19 month old, not even close to being potty trained and when the time comes and he is ready for the training, the understanding is there will be accidents, but the important thing is that there is someone there to clean it up. Remember this, DAYCARES are just in it for the MONEY, they will never be able to provide the care that you would for your child.

This is not acceptable. An adult should be present everytime a child is in the restroom. Leaving children alone anywhere especially in a bathroom is unacceptable at a childcare facility especially at that age. They are fully aware of the problem but they are lazy and do not feel like cleaning up urine all day. I would talk to the director and if the problem is not resolved I would file a complaint. Keep in mind your child is not the only child that is being neglected there. Think about how many children especially the boys are sitting on a toilet covered in urine all day

my in-home daycare is great. Also fewer kids

Are you certain that these accidents aren't happening on the ride home? I cannot imagine a teacher not noticing the smell if your son is in her lap! Maybe you can take a peek into his pants as you pick him up. If there's a surprise in it, you might have a bit more leverage in getting the problem addressed. I'd keep doing that daily. If you're still having the problem, you have an usupportive school that doesn't fit the best interest of your child and I'd look for a new one.

Since you've already addressed the issue without success and it is not a one-time event, you should withdrawl your son. I honestly wouldn't think twice about that decision.

R.,
Change your daycare NOW. Any daycare that would expect a 2 year old to be potty trained is crazy! Most boys are not fully potty trained until they are 3 1/2 to 4 years. Allowing any child to sit around in soiled underwear is allowing the children to be neglected.
I would contact Child Care Licensing to report the daycare and find another place quickly.
H.

R., I am so sorry that you and your son are going through this. I have 4 sons, ranging from 12-3 1/2 years. They have each been in preschools/ daycare. I have found that different facilities handle bathroom etiquette/ assistance in different ways. Honestly, I have also found that the more traditional 'daycare' places are much more like you are describing and the Christian preschools/Mothers Day Out Programs I have found to be much more nurturing, loving, helpful and understanding. That is not to say that the same circumstance wouldn't happen in one of those facilities- it has to us. but it was more like 1 or 2 times a year with the child- because the teacher or aide thought they were clean and they weren't. We took the time to speak with our child calmly and explain to them that when they get off the potty, if they feel like they are dirty, they should get back on the potty and wipe again. Our most recent experience (this son was 5)- he said he thought he was done, but then he got mad/frustrated about having to go back in and clean again. we had to explain to him that it was more important for him to be fully clean and get back to playing because if he allowed himself to stay dirty often, he could get sick or have a problem and he wouldn't be able to play.

It was my husband's and my opinion that toilet/ potty training issues, eating issues and nurturing issues were a big deal to pay attention to with the child care facilities that we chose. In our situation, we felt like the traditional daycare while it was clean, organized, etc.- the love and consideration for each child wasn't the same. We had to set our priorities, then match the facilities with our priorities. I will tell you that our 2 oldest went to one facility and our 2 youngest have been attending a totally different facility. Best of luck in your search.

Sorry to hear about your problem with the school. Let me say that regardless of how good a school is, they will never do it as good as mom. So they are not as concerned as you. Your child is not ready for what they are asking him to do. So obviously, it is not the right place for him. If I were in your shoes, I will budget more, stay home with him for another 2 years, not have to pay for a daycare and enjoy my son's early years. At this time in his life, all he needs is lots of play and experiences with mom and dad.When he is 5 and can do those things, he will be ready for kindergaarten and you can be a peace and go back to work.
Good luck

Time to get a new daycare. If you brought it to their attention and nothing changed what else is your child being subjected to that you haven't discovered yet.

I know this must be very stressful for you but I think Ericka made a good point. There are certain procedures schools have to follow to protect themselves and the child. However, I do feel they need to be making sure the bathroom is cleaned after EVERY child is finished in there and I hope they're encouraging hand washing. I also think filing a complaint like the other poster said it a good idea. My children didn't enter preschool until the age of 4 and I remember a time where my DD told me a toilet seat was dirty and so I notified the school who like you said, acted very suprised and said they will make sure to clean after every child and so they did but I also made it clear to my DD that she always cover the seat with toilet paper and wash very good. Again she was 4 so that was a little easier to enforce.

I think you should keep him there if he and you are happy but if they are not willing to work with you then take him out. Can you make a suprise visit and see for yourself how the restroom area looks? If you are not happy, start looking for another pre-school and make sure to bring that topic up when checking out new places.
Good luck and hope you get something figured out.

Change day cares! My son will be three in February and is still not potty trained. At his day care they keep a chart of taking him to the restroom, every two hours and provide the daily report to me. The bathroon is shared with the neighboring classroom and there is always one teacher if not two present to help the kids. They also wear gloves when assisting the kids. A two year old should absolutely not be going to the restroom by themselves. There are lots of great day cares out there!

R.,

This is a problem that you do need to address. I am surprised that he is in a class where they do not help him when he goes to the toilet since he is only 2. My son is 3 and entering a class this year where they have to be potty trained to enter. Most children do not learn to go to the potty until they are in their 2's and it takes awhile before they are able to do this by themselves. Some kids are even still in diapers. Are all the other kids in his class the same age or are they a bit older? He should still be in a class where the teacher has a helper that can help the kids when they go potty or need a diaper change. There is a difference between not wiping well and having skid marks and actually having actual poop in his pants. This is unacceptable if it is happening regularly. Personally I would start looking for a different child care facility for my child...especially if my complaints continued to fall on deaf ears.

I know how hard it is for you to leave your son everyday and you want to know he is in the best possible hands. I hope you are getting the advice that you were searching for here.

Cheers,
M.

Do yourself and your son a favor - find a new daycare!

R.,
I am a state registered in-home childcare provider. You should contact the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services and file a complaint. If these accidents happen to your child, they might involve other students also. How can the teacher not be able to smell the scent??
Also, I help the kids in my care when is time to use the toilet even if they are 3, but I use gloves to protect myself.
Here are the numbers for the licensing office:
###-###-#### or 1-800-582-6036.
A.

I dont know how they can tell you a two year old has to be fully potty trained that is ludicrious.A mlot of us dont even start until two.I have a two year old and I am just starting with him.Second the fact that they dont go in there is also not ok.With older kids it would be fine but with two year olds its not.They most likely wont know how to wipe or wash their hands properly.Plus what id they play in the toilet.There is definitly no way that a two year old should be by themselves.Remeber they work for you you are paying them to care for the your child the way you want them to and if they are not willing to do that then I would find somewhere else.There may be a lot of other things that go on that you may not know about.Have you ever tried an in home daycare.I ran one for three years and kids that were potty training a lot of the times their parent brought them their own potty and everything.I only took three kids at a time and would take them seperatly to the bathroom all day long.There is a lot more time to give individual attention that way.Just a sugesstion.Anyway I believe that good childcare is one of the most important you can pay for so if you arent happy please find somewhere perfect for you and your family.Good luck