B.N.
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Maybe you should remove the TV from the house for awhile.
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I have an 18 year old son who is about to leave for a ministry internship. He needs to raise money for the 10 month program, much the same way that someone would have to do for a mission trip. He was pretty motivated for awhile, but as the departure date draws closer, he is withdrawing and really becoming like a couch potato. I've tried to encourage him and pray with and over him, but he's still in this zombie state. I'm wondering if other parents whose children are about to leave home are seeing any similar behavior? He has mentioned once that it's all pretty scary, thinking about living on his own and not seeing us. But other than that one conversation, it's like pulling teeth to get him to open up. I need to see something from him that shows that he wants what he says he wants. He's putting so little effort into it now... Any ideas or insights would be so appreciated!
Thanks to everyone who gave advice and offered prayer. He went, and he's been there one week now. The first week is the toughest, as they try to weed out people who don't really want to be there. He's still there! And he sounds very happy. And actually a bit more mature:)
Maybe you should remove the TV from the house for awhile.
Dear R.,
It sounds as if he really doesn't want to go. Sometimes when kids have something heavy weighing on them, they only tell you once. And, then they clam up, much like your son did. If it were me, I'd return whatever money he's raised so far and let him back out of the trip.
Good Luck
P.
I would try to sit down and have a real heart to heart with him. Although I do think that some kids are ready to leave home at 18, I honestly think that others may need more time. Now, I am not saying that you should encourage "the couch potato" mentality, but I would ask if this is indeed something that he is truly committed to. If he isn't committed, I wouldn't force him, but I would get him up off the couch and send him out into the world of college or employment! Good luck and God bless!
Hi R.,
I don't really have any advice since my kiddos are young and quite awhile away from leaving home. Just wanted to encourage you to continue to pray for him, he may be experiencing some spiritual warfare right now. When we are or getting ready to do some great work for the Lord, the enemy has a way of jumping right in and doing whatever he can to mess it up. Hang in there and keep praying for him!
My husband went on a 2 year mission away from home when he was 19, he was nervouse before he left, but that mission was one of the best experiances of his life, and he still talks about it almost daily, same with my father who also served a mission.
I think it has to be something he really wants to do. Since it's a religious thing, if he's not in that mentality, he may not be ready to go.
I also agree that before we are about to engage in a very spiritual time, the advesary always trys to do something to take that feeling away beacuse he is trying to discourage it from happening.
I would just encourage him to really pray about it and ponder the scriptures and find out for himself if that is truly what he wants to do. Be supportive and remind him why he wanted to go in the first place, and how much this experiance will help him decide what he may or may not want to do in the future and what a great opportunity it is.
Also, he needs options. If he doesn't want to go, then he needs to do something productive with his time. He needs to get a full time job, or go to a University, or go to a community college and work part time... it's hard to transition from high school to real life (still in that summer break mentality), but he needs to learn that he has to make a productive choice, and can't just sit around the house all day.
Pray pray pray! Other than that you may want to have his youth minister, your pastor, or someone else who is embarking on this journey with him to chat with your son. Nothing formal but maybe a lunch or something of that nature. He probably is scared and not sure of what will happen but talking to someone else may be what he needs. I agree with what a couple other moms said about the enemy attacking when we are getting ready to do great work. Good luck & God Bless!
