D.M.
Good for You!! I admire your choice to nuture your child in a family bed situation. My son and I co-sleep, but it's just us...so not a huge issue where room is concerned. While, we are in the process of transitioning to a 'big boy' bed it is a process!
Here's what I've done...
I read the 'the Family Bed', and it was the best book ever. It's out of print, but you can get a copy on Amazon or have your bookstore order it. Super advice if you haven't read it yet.
Honestly, I don't think this is a bad 'habit' or 'issue' like so many people address it. It's the way families have done it for generations...and my son is the most amazingly confident and independent little person.
The advice I've gotten from other co-sleepers, is to first get your son off the breatfeeding...stop with the nightfeeding first and associate the feedings with meals, like breakfast. And, try to get him to use a sippy cup...my son would only use Nuby cups and he still does in addition to regular cup. While, the nightfeedings are comforting, we need to help our little people learn to soothe themselves during the nighttime. I offered my son, a cup of milk at night before brushing our teeth and diaper change. And, added a lovey to our sleep routine that slept with us and absorded our scents.
Our first three days, with no nightfeeding was tough but, I was there for him and held him and explained that we were a team and it was new for both of us. I made sure I gave him loving words...I refuse to let my son cry for no reason, even my pediatrician has enforced CIO is not healthy for emotional development. After day three, he was falling asleep on his own, but would wake up during the night for assurance I was nearby...took about two weeks to get him to sleep on his own with consistentcy. Of course, there is still the occasional nightwaking...but, no big deal a quick word from me and he's out again.
As for the transition out of the family bed, I'm working on that one too! What we've done is together we've picked out his sheets and bedding, and we've started small with his daily nap being in the 'big boy' bed. At night, we visit his McQueen Bed and he lays down for a bit, and sometimes falls asleep there on his own with no fuss...but, if he comes to my bed I don't reject him. My feeling is that he needs to know he can come to me if he needs comfort. I'm not in a hurry to rush him through it, but I think if you communicate with your son and make this process about him growing up and being a 'big boy' it becomes something that they can own and be proud to be a part of...I use the word team a lot!
There was this great piece on Nightline about how the CIO method does not breed independent kids, but can 'cause a sense of loss and mourning in kids at too early an age...wish everyone could see it, 'cause even docs who are credited with coming up with the method said it was meant for older kids with higher developmental skills not infants or early stage toddlers.
My good friends, have all done this and their five kids are great sleepers, and very independent kiddos with lots of social skills and activities.
Best of luck with your little guy!