Seeking Advice for Daughter Who Does Not Seem to like Daddy

My 21 month old does the same things. I was told this will pass and let's PRAY that it does. It gets me so upset sometimes. I do have a suggestion, I go to a ceramics class with a friend of mine once a week and they are on their own to figure things out, you should try getting a hour or two alone once a week and them just let them be together, go do some christmas shopping. My daughter has gotten better, not completly but some.
GOOD LUCK!!!!

My son did the same thing. It is something that will pass. My son was a mama's boy until he turned two. It did hurt my husbands feelings sometimes. One time he pouted and said "He doesn't love me!" My son now worships his father. I tease my husband now about what he said.

The previous poster had wonderful advice about finding something special for them to do. Many a daddy has had a tea party! I agree that it would probably be better if you left for a bit or they went somewhere together. Good luck.

To repeat what everyone else has said, this is super-comman and it will pass. My older son did this and it really hurt my husband's feelings. But, as hard as it is to hear your baby crying, you should not intervene when Dad's on duty. You should let your husband and your daughter work it out together. Stay in the shower, or wherever you went. Once your daughter understands that you trust Daddy to take care of her, then she will too. When my son was 19 months old I had another baby and suddenly Daddy became the only game in town. Now the two are inseperable. Good luck!

Hi Sara -

How quickly I forget! While reading your post I was flooded of memories of our daughter doing the SAME thing! It was really rough for quite some time for both mom and dad (our daughter did this pretty much her entire 2nd year)! My husband is a sweet, sensitive man so this was really heartbreaking for him. I hated to see him so hurt and at the same time was exhausted from being 'wanted' all the time by our daughter! I had heard it was a phase and it was - it passed and now there are some days that go by when she could care a less what I'm doing and ALL about Daddy. Luckily now she goes back and forth and we both get our fill of love and attention!

In the meantime, I would just talk up dad as another poster recommended (this didn't really work for my daughter but we still did it) and try to stay positive. My husband and I noticed the more he pulled away from her(when his feelings were hurt from her yelling "no!" to anything he offered to do) the more she'd pull away from him. It was really tough in the midst of it all for him to stay positive but continuing to act friendly and wanting her attention did seem to help at times. Also, there were times when I had to do things and she wanted nothing to do with daddy so she would have to sit and cry while I did them or was able to help her with whatever. I thought it was important to show her that we couldn't always be at her beck and call (especially whoever it was she preferred at the time) and I DID have to shower, use the bathroom, etc!!! I took that time to show her that mommy and daddy have needs too (bathing, bathroom, whatever) and that she had a choice btw us and she chose to cry/throw a fit instead of letting daddy help her.

Good luck - this too shall pass! :) :) :)

Hi, Sara ~ I had the EXACT same problem and even posted my problem on Mamasource last week looking for advice. Fortunately, I figured it out for myself. What I did was "talk up" her daddy all day. I told her that Da Da would be home soon, that we were going to give him big hugs and kisses when he came in the door, I showed her his picture, etc. And believe it or not, it worked! About 7 months ago my neighbor was watching my daughter for me for about an hour two nights a week until my husband got home from work. She would wig out with my neighbor whenever I would leave her and my neighbor suggested talking her and her daughter up on the days that they were going to watch her. I would show her their pictures, talk about how much fun she would have playing with Grace, etc. and it definitely worked. I would drop her off with them and she would hardly give me a backwards glance. So, I thought I would try the same thing with her daddy and it really did work. She actually took my hand the other day when I was cooking dinner and pulled me to the back door (where he comes in) saying, "Da Da! Da Da!" I've been doing it for about a week and I am not kidding ~ they are inseparable now. She can't WAIT for her daddy to come home from work. I hope this works for you, because like you I was at my wit's end and it was completely stressing both me and my husband out. Please let us know what happens. Good luck! L.

The good news is that this is a very common phase. To help them get passed it, they need to find something special that just the two of them can do. It can be storytime, a visit to a store, cafe (for a munchkin, etc), just some alone, fun time. Having you not at home may help the situation. Give it time and she'll come around.