Seeking Advice About "Very" Active Toddler Who Is Soon to Be a Big Sister

Hi B., I am also sailing on the same boat. I am due in August though. Its my 2nd baby and I understand how exhaustive it is with first one. What I do is to finish off my cooking once in a day. Then I have set up time for cartoon, craft work, painting, writing practice, where I do not sit and participate. I simply ask her to do something for half and hour in that gap I try taking rest on couch or watch some programs. I have also made it a rule for her that she will not call me in between, she needs to finish and then show me what so ever activity she is involved in. It takes some time but then they themselves start telling us, not to interfere in between. Try it out. Ofcourse a long span of resting period is impossible with second baby, but atleast we can steal some time for ourselves.

Hi B.!

So funny- I'm in the same situation. My 19 month old daughter just welcomed twin sisters into her life on the 27th of April. Before they were born I was off my feet as much as possible trying not to go into labor any earlier than I had to. I had previously read "1,2,3 Magic".. a book devoted to a discipline technique that we all do anyway. Time out. When I was still mobile enough to reinforce my "no's" I used this technique, even though the book says 2 years is the best age to start- my daughter caught on quickly. That book has saved us both a lot of grief. I've been able to keep her out of trouble while my hands were (and are) tied- just using my voice. And the best part... no yelling!

If you hurry, you might have enough time to get her used to it and save yourself some trauma when baby comes.

All the rest of my advice is stuff you've probably already thought of: Special toys and treats reserved for the baby's feeding time, stick as close as possible to a routine ("Babywise" has SAVED my life so far with the twins... we'll see how it works after two weeks, though.) Above all, be gentle with her- my daughter got super sensitive after the babies were born. I saw a whole new side of her I didn't know.

Good luck! If I learn any cool tricks, I'll let ya know- ha. ;-) S.

Boy have I been there! I would discuss the new baby with your daughter (if you haven't already) pretty soon; in my last month we discussed the baby with a variety of books. Also setting up the crib and swing, etc. got my son a little more prepared for it. At this age I don't think they really "get" what's going on until the baby actually arrives. We had relatives out here in the beginning to help out and to give my older son lots of attention too! Just make sure you spend a certain amount of playtime with your daughter and change her schedule as little as you can manage. Also, I've heard that some older children like to help out with the baby... my son never did though, maybe it's more of a girl thing.
We actually adapted much better than I was expecting. He tended to fight his bedtime a lot more, which was probably actually us being off his schedule with another little one to take care of. Kids are very adaptable though and she will get used to it. I'm sure there will be some jealousy and absolutely be prepared for lots of tantrums, even if only used to get your attention. My older son is worse about this now (and my baby is almost 6 months) than he was when my baby was first born.
Good Luck, it's so worth it now to see my children laugh and play together. Congratulations!

I had the same concerns for my son when I was expecting. As an only child to a stay at home mom, that kid owns you and you both know it! So when I found out I was expecting twins I was so nervous that their arrival would rock my son's little world. I always tried to be careful how I phrased things. Instead of referring to me having "new babies" I tried to emphasize how he would be a big brother and how I wanted to give him a little brother and sister so they would grow up to play with him. I think by letting your first baby know that they're not being replaced they can focus on the fun aspects of having a sibling (or siblings in my case). And as usual in the end I realized I was worried over nothing and kids are generally more resilient than we give them credit for.

I hope this helps!

The coolest thing that worked for me was a few weeks before the delivery of our second child we got a special doll and "real baby" supplies for our older daughter. In hind sight it may have been a little unsettling that all of this new "stuff" was coming into the house for this new invisible person that she didn't know yet. We used this doll as a way to teach her how to help us take care of new sister AND as a special treat for her with all of the new things coming into the house. I know, I know..it's not all about "things" but when you are that young and there are confusing things going on a nice little toy distraction can't hurt. Especially when it teaches you crucial things about your new brother or sister that will be coming home soon! It worked wonders!
Good luck!

Enrolling her in some fun recreational activities will help release her energy, as well as give you some time to relax. This is also a good source to get to know other moms who may have similar situations. Play dates with other kids is also a great way to release her energy, without wearing you out, and is especially wonderful if the other moms reciprocate and invite your daughter for a play date at their home.
Simply asking your daughter to help with the new baby is one of the best ways to help her feel important. When you are too exhausted to even move, have her go to get the diaper, wash cloth, whatever. She feels involved and you don't have to move. Some special one-on-one time with mom, if even 5 minutes, means a lot to them. This also helps dad to connect with the new baby, if he is willing to give you that time to spend with your 2 year old. Kristy E.