N.W.
T.,
You have gotten some pretty good advice but I did want to mention the obvious. Children use thier hands and feet to comminicate when they cannot articulate thier feelings. The new baby has brought on some very strong feelings out of your step daughter. Her feelings need to be validated and she needs to know that it is O.K. to feel angry,sad frustrated etc. But it's not O.K. to act on them. Sibling rilvary is very normal but your daughter has taken it to extremes which does indicate immediate interference. She needs to know that her actions are inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Make it about her behavior and not about her. Her self esteem is suffering along with abondonment issues and probably contol issues too. At her age she has been through a divorce, a new mom and now a new baby. That's alot for anybody let alone a child. She also needs her one on one time with just you too. Lastly seek professional counseling. The root of her anger needs to be addressed and some how dealt with. It could be as simple as she wanted you to see her hurt the baby so you would know just how angry she feels. Anger is a second emotion... meaning there is another emotion that manifest itself as anger. Feelings of sadness, hurt, not feeling wanted or unloved. Feelings that the baby is getting the love and attention she wants and needs. At her age she is still developing and is a child.Children most likely do not know what they are feeling let alone how to explain them. Finding the root of the anger is most important. Anger left alone will fester. It does not just go away in children( or adults either for the most part).As scaired and horrified as you are, rightfully so ,just love your step daughter unconditionally. It seems almost automatic to withhold affection when dealing with a perceived threat to our babies. You can also try empathy with her too, by asking her if she had a big sister that did that to her how would she feel. Her response should open up the door to communication. I am always here should you need anymore help or just someone to bounce ideals off of or just need to vent.
N.