Security - Lake Park,GA

He has every right to keep his adult children as his beneficiaries on any accounts he has for insurance or mutual funds or annuities or any other financial accounts. Even if you were married he wouldn't be required to put you as a beneficiary. Perhaps he feels an obligation to his children to make sure that upon his passing they're provided for so that they can pay for his funeral and all associated costs.

And as long as you're not married and your name is not on the title of the house, his kids can do whatever they want with the house.

He has every right not to want to get married. But here's the thing. Why in the world are you with a man who refuses to commit to you in the way you need him to? Why are you with a man who you feel isn't making you a priority? And why in the world do you have him as a beneficiary instead of your MINOR children?

Stop making this guy the center of your universe. You're clearly not the center of his. I think you need to adjust your priorities and put yourself and your kids first.

this is your boyfriend.
Not Husband.

He can do anything he wants.
Of COURSE his kids are his Beneficiaries.

You cannot make him leave you anything. Nor the house.

Why do you make him your Beneficiary?
I would put my kids.

It is up to you, to plan your financial stability. Do not rely on him to do that.

He has no obligation, to put you as Beneficiary for everything.

Marcela:

You've posted before about being with this man and he has NO DESIRE to marry you...yet you stay. Why do you do this to yourself?

If you don't have a definitive answer - then get it...if he can't put you as his beneficiary on a life insurance policy then it speaks VOLUMES as to what he thinks of you and your relationship.

I would put my underage kids on my life insurance policy before I would put a man who isn't willing to commit to me...change your life insurance policy TODAY and make sure your children are taken care of - not this man who won't commit to you....
Girl - i'm sorry- I don't want to be rude - but I'm just gonna say it flat out...
you need to leave this relationship...he doesn't want to marry you..it appears that he is only in a relationship with you because he's getting something out of it - but all I can see you getting out of it is grief and heartache....stop being his toy and start standing up for yourself!! PLEASE!!!! Find a relationship that works FOR YOU - not against you!!! It's like you are pushing a rope....STOP!! STOP!! STOP!! PLEASE!!!!

There is no way to suggest what approach would not offend him as we don't know him. No matter though, you should be making your own way in life, not depending on the death of your boyfriend to keep you sheltered and make you financially secure . Oh and you really do need to make provisions for your minor children. Who's to say your boyfriend wouldn't kick them to the curb once you are gone?

You need to immediately make your children your beneficiaries. What would they do if something happened to you? He doesn't need to be your beneficiary - he has his own money. As far as what he does or provides for you, you can't control it so if you choose to stay with him, you need a back up plan. If anything in the house is yours...document what is yours with pictures and have him sign off on it. That's the stuff you want to be able to take if the day comes that you and your kids have to go get an apartment. Don't put any money into his house - don't pay for decorations, repairs or anything else. It's not your problem. Please take care of yourself.

If you do not want your boyfriend to change everything over you, then you should secure yourself. If he is serious in the relationship, he should marry you. If he cares about your well being, he should refinance and put your name on the house or otherwise. If he is not heading toward commitment, then he is using you. If he is not using you, then you should mention it to him, sit down and talk to him seriously about where you both are headed as far as sharing assets.

I'm concerned about a few things:

1) Is the house his, or did you two buy it together? If it's BOTH of yours, then when he dies, his half will revert to his children. At which point you would have the option to either buy out their share WITHIN a certain timeframe, or to sell the home in order to pay their half off. If it's his, then yes, they would inherit the house. They may or may not choose to rent it to you, but they are under no obligation to rent it to you, much less let you take it over.

As well, anything that solely belongs to you, or that you bought jointly, needs to be documented.

2) Unless your boyfriend has legally adopted your children (or is their biological father), you need to take him OFF as the sole beneficiary, and place THEM as the beneficiaries. Ideally with your payout set up to drop into trust to provide for their care over an extended period of time (a lawyer can set that up for you). ALSO, who inherits your children? If you have any living blood family, the courts will place them with blood or legal family, before placing them with your boyfriend, unless your will specifically states that their custody goes to him. HOWEVER, he can refuse / relinquish guardianship AT ANY TIME. The money for your children's care needs to follow THEM.

im sorry some of the answers you'vve gotten are a bit harsh.
are you paying any of the mortgage, taxes or insurance? is your name on the title? if yes to these things, I would say, ask him the next time you are paying your share, "so, I'm happy to put money into our home, but ive been wondering, in the event the worst should happen to either one of us, is there anything in writing that says the other would be allowed to keep the house?" if you are paying and he says no, "im leaving it to my kids to decide", than I wouldn't put another dime into it, but start putting it into a fund for yourself. If you are not paying mortgage, taxes, or insurance, than you really shouldn't even ask.

Depending on the state, there are different ways a house is treated after a death. Are you on the deed of the house? If so, you maybe entitled to the by way of ownership by survival. However, you may have to buy out the kids. If your name isn't on anything you have no rights to the house. When it comes to the house it doesn't matter if you are a beneficiary on his life insurance. If he leaves you all his money and you can afford the house, if the house goes to his kids, than you will have to buy them out of the house. Your BF can leave you the house, but without leaving you any money how can you afford it. I'm more concerned that you are afraid of offending your BF by trying to secure up your future. My husband and I talked about this at length before we got married to make sure that each one of us would be taken care of. They best way to obtain security is through marriage and a properly drafted will.

As far as his children throwing you to the curb, that all depends what type of plans BF has made in the event of his passing and what he has set in his will. If he chooses to leave the house to you, then it will be yours, but as you stated you cannot afford to live in it.

If he leaves the house to his children, then you will need to move out. You could also make arrangements to rent the house from his children, or you could purchase it from them. Based on this post, as well as a previous, I could not immagine why his children would allow you to stay in the house without paying fair market rent.

Suggestions... it doesn't not appear that you will be getting married anytime in the near future, more likely never to BF. You should start preparing for your future. Do you have a retirement plan? Are you putting money away in savings on a regular basis?

Why do you have BF as beneficiary on your insurance policy? Has he agreed to take care of your children if something happens to you? Have the two of you agreed to have policies on each other?

I don't think there is a way to tell BF without offending him about his plans for his children. I would suggest you approach the subject without mentioning his children.

There are so many questions, insecurities, feelings of resentment between the way your boyfriend is treating you. Why do you stay?? He won't marry you - which would put MANY of these issues to rest...

If you do feel you have to stay, maybe you should tell him you want something legally documented that if he passes away - part of his insurance will pay off some of the house (leaving you with lower payments), giving the rest of the estate to his children other than his immediate cash/liquid assets to be left to you.

You didn't mention how long you have been dating, but I would think that unless it's been several years, you shouldn't expect to be the beneficiary on his life insurance, and only then if you both have the kind of relationship that is like marriage. For that matter, maybe marriage would be in order at that point.

Also, if he did make you the beneficiary, what would you do to help his adult children? If it is his intention that they should benefit from his estate, then they should benefit, regardless of your role in his life.

If I were you, I wouldn't list him as your beneficiary either, especially if you have under age children to take care of, and you are not married.