I think my secret pal from work gave me what I suspect to be used junk for my gift. Participation is voluntary, there are guidelines that list under $5, new, and everyone fills out a little sheet about things they like. I wrote I liked scented candles, coffee, and nuts, candy, etc. This person gave me a picture frame with nicks on it, and a huge flowered grapevine wreath with a bird perched on it, of a style people liked 15 years ago. It was dusty & smelled musty like it came off someone's wall. I am sure she either regifted me with junk she had, or shopped at a garage sale/thrift store. I realize that she may have had financial issues, but you can use descretion and taste when regifting, can't you? I am at a loss...
I just don't know what to say to her, how to say thank you. I hate offending, hurting people's feelings, or having conflicts. Any suggestions for how to word a thank you note and what to say if she asks if I liked the gifts?
I'd sure appreciate some help in being tactful here. Thanks moms.
Thank you moms for all the great answers!
Just want to clarify, the gifts actually don't matter, I didn't have expectations, and participated so there would be enough people in the group for everyone to keep it secret and have fun. I am not upset or obsessing either. Just a bit confused. This is in a professional setting, we're all on a winter break, and I do need to write a thank you note of some type.
The wreath was handed to me in a gift sack at a party by the Secret Pal in person. She's not someone that I know. The reason I wrote was to garner some suggestions because I just wasn't sure what to say to her after I opened it at home on Christmas...
To me, there are quite a few things you could gift someone with that are fun to receive; hand lotion, a mug with a flavored coffee packet, desk items in a cute basket, a large gourmet candy bar...etc. I gave my SP a darling little light-up Angel and a little See's candy gift because I saw on her list that she liked these things. There are dozens of ways to have fun with this. So why give someone something that is dirty, old, and has an odor? I wasn't sure if she was clueless, doing it to be nasty, or really thought they were great gifts???? As I said, I am at a loss to understand? In the end though, it's not really a very big deal is it?
Anyway, I've copied some great wording for a thank you note which I'll slip in her mail box at work and leave it at that. Then, I've decided to drop her gifts at a thrift shop today. This organization gives 90% of their profits to support their group homes for disabled young adults, finished with schooling, who need a place to live and assistance working. This is a winning solution for everyone.
Finally (grinning here) next year I think I might pass on the Secret Santa experience.
Thanks again to all of you moms who replied. You're the best!
For a gift that is supposed to be under $5, I would just let it go.
For a TY note I would write "Thank you for the X. Hope you had a wonderful holiday season." I would not belabor the point in any false manner.
HTH.
Jane M's answer was great - and "the right spot" can be the garbage, good will, or another garage sale! LOL :)
Honestly, if the guideline was under $5, I would just say thanks and leave it at that -- and forget about it!
You write a note saying "thank you for the gift. I'm so glad that we participated in the secret santa together this year. Hope your holidays were wonderful!" If she asks you if you like it, you say "Perfect. I have just the right spot for it."
This is a time where a white lie is totally acceptable.
Realy? A $5 gift that's GOOD would be what? LOL
Dear Sue,
Thanks for the gifts! Hope you had an amazing holiday. It's a pleasure working with you.
Happy New Year!
Bh
Or
Dear Sue,
Thanks for the picture frame and the wreath! Hope you had an amazing holiday. It's a pleasure working with you.
Wishing you the happiest of New Years in 2011!
Bh
Don't over think it. A thank you is a thank you. Much like a gift is a gift. It really IS the thought behind it--whether a thank you or a gift.
And, an applicable quote for the situation from When Harry Met Sally: Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.
Short, sweet and to the point.
"Thank you. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year."
It's not like this is a major Christmas gift from your husband or something that totally disappointed you. It's a silly $5 gift from a Secret Santa exchange. Get over it. Say thank you for the gift. No need to elaborate on how much you loved - or didn't love it. End of story.
Was it tacky of her to voluntarily enter into a gift exchange and give such a crappy gift? Yes. Is it something to be upset over? NO.
Just say "thank you". People are VERY different. What she might see as a beautiful under 5 dollar gift idea you obviously see as junk. Don't hurt her feelings by not saying "thanks, it will always remind me of you" to her :)
Oooh, so many senses just waiting to be offended. If you don't say thanks, she could be offended. If you say the wrong thing, she could be offended. If you make a joke of it by saying something about the sheer cheapness or tackiness of it, her taste in gifts could be offended. If you asked her where she bought it, she could be offended, if she doesn't see it hanging on your wall she could be offended...
So, what to do? OK, so, maybe she really had financial issues and shopped at a garage sale, maybe the [$2] she spent on it was all she had left and she spent it on you. So, just say "Thank you." and leave it at that.
Secret Santa at work is almost ALWAYS a disaster, you choose someone at random! the limit of $5 is crazy! You can't even get an Itunes card for that! Honestly, I would simply say, thank you and that you have not yet found a place for the items but I am sure the right place will present itself!
Frame with nicks get some mettalic/glitter spray paint and fix it up how you would like or spray it bright colors for your kids room!
Wreath, I am guessing that it is plastic or wood, get your duster out and clean it off, use some baking soda in a brown paper sack to freshen it up (let it set for a few days with the bag taped shut. Strip off what you do not like about it and use the same types of spray paint(s) to fix it up ... really get crafty mama! I have faith that you can turn this gift around and make some YUMMY lemonade, like the kind that you add tangerine and lime juice too!
It's just a $5 and under gift. It's not something more than that. Say thank you and move on. I think sometimes we get all wrapped up in the junk (everything is junk eventually), and forget the people, the reason for giving, and the relationships behind the gifts. Don't be so invested in a $5 gift, instead be invested in the person. Sorry you are disappointed though.
Not everyone knows how to shop for gifts or what to buy people. Give her a break. That is the risk everyone assumes when they do Secret Santa-that someone may give them something they don't like. You never know, but maybe she thought you would really love it--I am sure she had the best intention in mind. I would write a thank you to her saying thank you for the gift. Merry Christmas. I wouldn't lie and say you love it etc. A nice thank you will do
M.
Sadly, some people have little taste. Or at least different tastes than yours. She may be really pleased about having given something that to her was attractive.
Will it improve your Christmas to give a less than tasteful response? Would you feel any better? Will your response make any difference next year? Probably not. A gentle "thank you" is sufficient. If she pushes for more affirmation, you can say quite honestly, as you did in your request, "It's quite a gift. I'm at a loss for words."
I would just say thank you for the gift and nothing more. If she does end up asking you how you like it, I would be honest and, as gently as possible, just say that it isn't your taste but it was nice of her to think of you. If you continue to receive gifts that are not really for you, then you may want to opt out of the Santa gift exchange. Or, if you still want to participate, just know that you can always donate the gifts to a domestic violence shelter and feel good that you are helping someone else out.
Just simply say "thank you" with a big smile on your face.
She's not your husband, your mother, your best friend, etc.....she's a co-worker who did exactly as she was instructed. Exchanged a gift for under $5.
I'm sorry if this offends, but I dont understand it when people "critique" gifts they receive. Just graciously accept the gift and understand that in the big picture, it really doesnt matter what the gift is. What matters is that you were thought of enough by another person that they took the time for you...no matter what they ended up giving you.
How do you find a nice gift for less than $5! LOL, just say Thankyou, smile, donate the gift to goodwill, and call it a day.
Hello, I would just say something like, "Thank-you for the lovely gifts. It was very nice of you." That way, you are being polite and she can either feel like a heel or think she got away with something. Either way, you still smell like a rose.
Good luck.
K. K.
With these "secret santa" gifts, there is no guarantee everyone will get good gifts, or even know how to. A lot of people plain stink at gifts and get what they like. She might have liked what she gave you, as hard as it is to believe.
Just say Thank You and leave it at that.
.
Yes, Jane M says it well.
:)
(And she never has to know the "perfect spot" for your 'gift' is the trash can.)
Just a "Thank you" will do. Don't do anything to offend. I'm sure her heart was in the right place. Save it for when you do a white elephant gift exchange :-)
It's simple... don't over-think this one... you know the gift was most likely a re-gift.. that said, I would in fact write her a short thank you note and leave it on her desk.... this way, you don't have to initially thank her face to face being as you are so upset. Also, just say .. I appreciate the Christmas gift and your thinking of me... Sincerely,......
believe me, I have gotten some used items for Christmas, in fact a picture frame that was broken and of all things, a holiday notepad HALF used... << which is really just laughable... since the person didn't even tear out the LAST page all the way but rather left half of the torn sheet in it.. I mean who does that.... (oops.. I guess people I know...) ok just laugh this one off... you'll feel better..
I got a horrible gift a couple of years ago myself and I don't remember if I acknowledged it or not at all. I don't understand those who participate if they are only cleaning out their closets. Forgive this person and just a simple thank you for the gift is all. But actually after that I think I didn't participate anymore myself. I couldn't see me shopping and really thinking about a lovely gift for someone and then finding the other person gave me a box of rubber bands. It simply wasn't equal and I couldn't afford to do it anyway so I wasn't giving out of niceness, I was expecting something fantastic back. And didn't get it. I had given on the condition that I should get something. I have recently reconfigured what my gift giving is about. And it is me that is selfish I am not indicating anyone else, but I always gave thinking I want back what I gave in praise or something material-financial. I am learning at an old age that oftentimes when I just totally give without thinking of the rewards that it really comes back down the line. Ok, that is my wonderful self. The other part of me would tell this person they are a cheap you know what and don't ever do that again.
I was grinning at the nicks, and literally cracking up at vines and bird perched on top.
You have to be gracious. I hate all gift exchanges. I don't remember ever getting something I was really dying to have, and I hate being forced to accumulate and shop. But. Ya gotta be socially appropriate and all. Even if the person gave it to you to purposefully be mean and trick you and give you junk (not likely, but possible) you still have no choice but to give a nice thank you. NO need to get specific, just a thanks for the nice gift. Try not to be sarcastic and say, "It was really SOMETHING ELSE" or anything because they may have really tried to find something nice. :-0
You may want to keep your eye on this person though, maybe they hate your guts!! Joking. Maybe.
Post from Jane M. says it all....
A simple, tactful answer: Thank you, it was very unique.
Let her try and figure out what "unique" means :)
Don't let this experience stop you from participating in these kinds of gift exchanges; occasionally you actually get a "winner" (and you give the losers to Goodwill or the trash can).
I do Secret Santa because I enjoy shopping for others and not for what I imagine I'm gonna get, so it is hard not to meet my expectations as there aren't any, but had I gotten something like you described, my card would read:Thanks so much for your gift. I so enjoy participating in the Secret Santa, as I love to give and hope you had as much fun as I did this year! Also, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and pray that the real reason for the season fills your heart with peace & joy during this stressful time of year. Bless you & yours.
Hope this helps you. Oh & then I would either donate the items or trash them as I only bring things in my home that give me a positive feeling when i see them so that I am surrounded by things that make me happy.
The same way you would want your child to do so. A simple "thank you". If she presses for whether you liked the girfts, you could say thank you again and maybe that they are different or something along those lines.
Just tell her thank you and you appreciate the thought! Especially for a company gift exchange, graciousness is all that's required. Maybe you'll get luckier next year!
Thank her for her "thoughtfulness." She was probably thrilled that she could give you something that she thought had more value than $5. You can be honest if she asks where you might use it, and say you're not sure just yet, but thank her for her thought in putting the gift together. We never know what's going on in someone else's life.
hahahaha! Maybe she got the guidelines confused? Seriously. I have participated in so many secret santas over the years... and sometimes they are the more "white elephant' types, where you are SUPPOSED to bring soemthing from your house or junk pile that you don't want. One person's trash is another's treasure, you get the idea.
Also, sometimes there is a traditional "gag gift" that gets passed around year to year... sure you weren't victim to that?
Whatever the reason, just say THANKS, IT'S GREAT! It's one of those situations where you are allowed the "white lie" :)
I did NOT participate in my work secret santa this year for just this reason! At my workplace, it goes ALL YEAR LONG. And we are supposed to surprise each other with a little something once or twice a month. I told people I just needed to "simplify' this year and opt out... but truth is, I've been burned too many times! The year before last I had a LAME secret santa who ignored my list and bought me nothing but chocolate and the cheaper version of the magazines I love (can you really substitute Star for People?) and last year I was secret santa to a person who gave me NO guidelines other than "be creative!". I was stressed all year trying to guess what to get this person every month. So next year JUST SAY NO! HaHaHa! Merry Christmas!
PS $5 limit? What can you do with that? Everyone might as well throw a five dollar bill into a pile and watch it burn altogether.
Perhaps your secret Santa actually likes that frame...thank her for taking the time to give you a gift and be done with it. No need to gush on and on about it, just say thank you.
How do you know who gave it to you? It's a secret santa. Just throw a general thankyou out to your co-workers and be done with it.
i would just be gracious. i dont find it nesscary (sp wr) to give her a thank you card. i dont give and receive thank you cards for christmas presents.
just say thank you. i have participated in about 7 secrete santas over the years and 6 of those my secrete santa got me nothing at all, at least your person made a little effort
I think people need to take an etiquette class in gift giving. Everyone always seems to get a gift that they don't really like, however the "gift giver" seems to like. If someone truly cared about the gift they are giving, they would look into the persons hobbies, interests, etc....Not just grab a random frame from the 99 cents store.
I still will not forget a gift class exchange when I was 7. I was SO excited! Low and behold everyone was ooohing and aaahing at their gift, and I got a broken Pin!!!! Never forgot it.
I wouldn't make a big deal about it~ Just say thank-you for your gift. and leave it at that.
(There will be good gifts, and there will be BAAAD gifts..all in this thing called life :-)
This is something that really doesn't need to be analyzed so much. Just say thank you and get on with life. Everyone has gotten bogus gifts before, including me. If she asks if you if you liked them, just say yes, they're nice. Don't gush. Just send an email to thank her.
I think this might be a time to pretend you don't know who your "secret" pal is as far as thanking her. I mean, are you supposed to know? Did she sign her name?
It's hard to find something nice for $5 or less.
I remember we did a gift exchange one year. The gifts were numbered then we drew to see who would get what gift so that it would alleviate buying something for a specific person and made it a little more fair. I got the "clunker" gift (in my opinion). Lottery scratchers. None a winner. It seemed like a waste of money to me, but I smiled and acted happy anyway.
Some people put more thought into things than others. That's just the way it is so you just have to let it go.
You might not have to say thank you if the giver is supposed to be a secret.
I wouldn't worry about a formal thank you and I'd just let it go.
Better luck next time.
Best wishes.
