The Santa Explanation

You can tell her about who the original Santa Claus was, and how he did things in secret so he did not draw attention to himself or embarass those who were in need. I think there are books about the original Santa. Also you can tell you daughter that some people don't want you to know who gave you the presents so they tell you it was Santa Claus (or something like that). You can tell her to help them keep their secret she can even tell the people who brought the gifts for Santa, to thank Santa for her.

I don't understand the need to give "credit" to who spent the money on a gift for your child. Christmas is a time of magic and cheer, and not about how much "Aunt Sally" spent on that sweater. Adults know the kids are thankful (if you have raised them to be), and I don't mind giving Santa the credit as they only believe for so long before other children ruin it for them. Please don't let that be your child! Enjoy the season and don't worry about giving "credit". "Aunt Sally" will not feel unappreciated. The look on the child's face will be enough. She is an adult. You are making this about the adults and not the children. Its a shame you can no longer "hear the bell".

N.,

My immediate family celebrates Christmas Eve at which time we exchange gifts amoung each other, my son knows that he is getting these gifts from his family and appropriately thanks everyone. On Christmas morning I have presents that I purchased waiting under the tree, these gifts are from Santa. Honestly, I love to see the look on his face and share in his excitement. My son is a very thankful child and has great manners, believing in Santa has not changed that. I never had the opportunity to believe in Santa as a child and really wish that I had felt the magic that it brings to a child.
Also, remember that this is only once a year, children only start to fully understand about Santa at about 3-4 years old. They don't believe in him all their lives, so if by the age of 8 they realize the Santa is fanasy, they acually only get to experience this about 4 times in in their lives therefore they have the rest of their lives to acknowlege the apppropriate gift giver!
There are plenty of opportunities throughout the year that my son can acknowlegde and be thankful for all the people in his life and the gifts that they may bring. I hope you find your balance and I wish you and your family a beautiful and magical Christmas!

Well I only tell my daughter that some items (that I bought) come from Santa. Her first Christmas that was only one thing. The gifts from other people I say are from them, along with some things from me and her dad. I don't know why people other than you would say their gifts are from Santa.

To differentiate between the gifts on Christmas morning, the "Santa" gifts are not wrapped.

I can't really help on your relatives but I can say this from my personal experience. My daughter is 9 now and she knows the truth about Santa. She surprised me this year by looking at me and saying thank-you for all the presents I got her during the years from "santa". It's become a bit of a joke now, honestly. But she actually told me in all honesty that she appreciated the fact that one year, I stood in line in the cold to get her a Nintendo DS. It was 2 Christmases ago but she told me that she appreciated it. She also told me that it's okay if we don't have a lot this year since we have a new baby that at least we're all together.
I guess what it comes down to is if you downplay the Santa part and just let her have fun with it all, the goodness will come back to you. I never made a big deal about him and actually just reminded my daughter that as long as we're together it's a good Christmas. I don't think that they are ever too young to hear that and I truly believe that my saying that every year is the reason she is how she is now.
Your daughter will pick up on your attitude and it will influence her more than any relative. It will all be alright. You'll see.

Well, my husband and I faced the same thing. We don't even really try to emphasize the gifts even, since we are struggling financially to pay down debt and are trying not to overspend on gifts. Anyway, what we did for her last year was take one or two of our gifts to her and say that they were from Santa. She got gifts from relatives, and they were from relatives, and our gifts were from us, but one or two of them were from Santa.
My family always went all out for Christmas with the gifts and all that, but I swear that my husband and I don't need anything, our parents have sworn they don't need anything, so we just kind of leave the adults out of it. I make a big deal of going to get the tree, and I make a big deal of a freshly baked Christmas breakfast, and the rest of it I try to play down. My husband and I typically get each other one thing for Christmas, and it's usually not that expensive.
Sheesh. What I really want for Christmas (I need to update my profile; I have a 3 year old and a seven month old) is a FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP. Can Santa bring me that?

all I would like to add is that I agree with Cathy S......why take away the childhood magic....they grow up so fast already and the harsh realities of life set in soon enough :( it's fun to believe in something so magical.:)

merry christmas

When my older kids (now 10 and 11) were little (and now with my 3 year old), they go sit on Santa's lap at the mall because it's too cute to pass up, and they tell Santa what they want for Christmas to help give mommy and daddy some ideas of what they might want. Then mommy and daddy (and grandma and whoever else) get them gifts. Christmas morning, they open presents and we let them know who each present is from. Period. Santa is a nice guy-- we give him hugs and take a photo with him-- just like Chuck E Cheese and Mickey Mouse and the Cow at ChickfilA!! We don't tell any stories about him coming to our house and giving our kids presents. When they watch cartoons about Santa, they are fun fiction just like when they watch Disney movies and other cartoons and we don't relate it to "real life". Let your close relatives and friends know that you will not be doing Santa and even if they think you are crazy they will hopefully respect that and not say anything to your child. If they do say something in front of your child, watch to see if she heard-- you can just let it slide, or you can say (while she is listening) something like they are being silly, that the presents really came from X. As they get older (around kindergarten age) if you decided to stick to it, it's important that you explain to her that different families believe different things. Let her know that some families tell their kids that Santa comes to their house with presents and we don't want to ruin their fun or upset them so don't tell them that we don't do Christmas that way. As she gets a bit older and older, just speak with her in an age appropriate way. Let her know that it is very important to some families that their kids "believe in" Santa and it is not good manners for her to tell them otherwise.

***I just wanted to add this...
One poster said she never knew anyone to be traumatized by finding out the truth about Santa. Well, I know someone. I wouldn't call it traumatized, necessarily... but he is the youngest of 6 kids. When he found out the truth about Santa, all of his siblings had already known for years. He swears he was less upset about Santa and more upset that his entire family had "tricked" him and/or "lied to him". I think that's silly, but he really was very upset and remembers today how upset he was as a child. He swears that he had a hard time trusting anything his parents and siblings said for a very long time. He started questioning everything, including his family's strong Christian faith (because he wasn't sure if everyone had been lying to him about God, because after all he never "saw" him just like he never "saw" Santa)

My worry for her would be that some one would ask her what Santa brought her and when she realized he hadn’t brought her anything she would think that maybe she was bad (if they got that far in the explanation) or that she wasn’t good enough for presents from Santa. I know my son has been asked that many times from people we barely know and even the greeter at the store. I would explain it to her as soon as she is old enough to grasp it. I would explain that some people do believe in Santa just so that she understands but don’t make to huge of a deal out of her not saying anything to the other kids. I always remembered there being kids who didn’t believe but I still did because I wanted to. She shouldn’t have to feel like she has to hide what she believes just because it might make someone else question there parents and isn’t the main stream belief. We personally do give my son a gift from Santa. I remember how magical it was when I was a kid waiting for Santa. It was fun and harmless. But to each there own.

For my 4 year old, my husband and i started leaving one special gift from santa for her to find on christmas morning each year. One year it was a teddy bear with a bow on top that we snuck into her bedroom while she was sleeping and left right where she would see it when she woke up, the next year it was a giant pink stuffed pony that we propped up against her bedroom door so that in the morning when she woke up and came out of her room it would fall right into the doorway. That one was a huge hit she came and woke me up and had these huge eyes and said "mom guess what santa brought me, a giant pink pony come on you gotta see this!!!" It was great, and santa didn't get the credit for all the money we had spent. I also tell her that the stockings are filled by santa. So on christmas eve after she has left out the cookies for "santa" to eat and went to bed, i stuff them with fruit snacks little dollar store gifts, candy, whatever, and she wakes up to find her special santa gift and her stocking. Hope this helps, im sure you will figure out what is right to tell your child. I think as long as they are little its ok for them to believe in santa. They figure it out eventually. Good luck

we put all presents under the tree and they are from us, but then on christmas eve after they go to bed i put out 1 gift a piece that is from "Santa". if you don't want to do that then tell her he's not real. she sounds pretty little. i would still talk about Christ. we've been doing it since my daughter was about 1.5yo. and she grasped it well.