Screammmming!!

Updated on May 18, 2008
N.E. asks from Kaneohe, HI
5 answers

My 6 month old has gotten into the AWFUL habit of yelling, screaming whenever she wants something or cant get her way. Everytime she cries, she screams. Everytime we dont look at her when shes trying to get our attention, she screams. When shes playing, she starts to scream when shes having fun, then it turns into grumbling, then yelling at us until we look at her, then screaming and crying.
Then when I try to tell her no, she either screams louder, or laughs. I am soo out of options. She is too young to understand, and I dont know how to "discipline" a 6 month old. What do I do to show her that yelling and screaming doesnt get her what she wants? I refuse to have my daughter grow up to be a spoiled brat, screaming whenever she wants something or cant get it.
I just try to tell her no in a serious voice, sometimes it works, but mostly it doesnt. The only way she stops is if we pick her up. I also dont want something to be really wrong, and I just think she is screaming her head off as usual. Her two top teeth are starting to come out, but shes been yelling way before then. I dont know where she learned it because no one yells here and there are no kids around. And now I dont know how to stop it. Please help..

ps. she was always a talker, always making noise, but now i cant get her to stop. she has also turned a lot more whiny, and cries a lot more. why the sudden change?

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J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like your girl has discovered her voice and the power of her voice. I bet she will be an early talker too. This is completely normal she is exploring what sounds she can make. Just happens to be at a loud level of exploration. You can try ignoring the screaming when you know for sure it is not a safety issue. The whiny and clingyness is also normal, at 6mo babies go thru a separation anxiety stage and want mom and dad constantly. This will pass in a month or two. In the mean time you will not be 'spoiling' her by giving her attention when she wants it. I nannied a girl who was a terrible screamer at 6mo! Her parents and I thought we would go deaf! So I can commiserate. We would ignore the screaming if we knew for sure she wasn't hungry, didn't needed a diaper change, and was safe. She didn't like her crib (she liked her co-sleeper playpen to sleep in)so we would sometimes put her in there where we knew she was safe and would walk out of the room. This usually worked, because after a few times she caught on that when she stopped screaming we would come back in the room and take her out. By the age of 1yr she had pretty much stopped the screaming and was working on forming words. I bet your girl will be the same way!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Nahes, 6 month olds like the sound of their own voices, pay attention to her and pick her up only when she is not crying or screaming, unless of course she is hurt, at 6 months they already know how to manipulate. Here's a true story, one of my younger brothers was born with a heart murmur
( I know the spelling is wrong) any way at 6 months he was over weight, my mom feed him everything, to keep him from crying, cause she was worried about his heart, well he got a cold and a cough, and he has 3 big sisters, well my mom put him in the playpen and every time he started coughing to hard one of us girls picked him up, heres the kicker, after his cold and cough was gone every time one of us girls walked passed his playpen he would cough, cause he was so used to us picking him up when he coughed, so believe me they understand more than you think, with my 3 they were pretty mellow, I didn't have the screaming and yelling, but if they were crying just to cry I put them in the playpen and when they stopped crying i took them out, when they were in totler stage, in their room, and they were allowed to come out when they got happy. Like you we didn't want spoiled brats. We had very well behaved children. now 24, 21 and 19 years old. J.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your baby has very little means to communicate with you, and that is crying. At such a young age and her skills develop she wants to explore in any way she can. Up til now she has been only been able to watch the world from a distance, with new found physical abilities, she wants to hold, touch, hear, taste, smell. She is doing what comes naturally, I know safety is usually the reason why we tell children no, but you (the parents) are actually in control of her environment. Now is the time for childproofing,if you haven't done so already. Moving cherished and fragile items out of her reach for a couple of years will remove the 'no situation' and free her to learn and explore. I say a couple of years, because that may be how long you can reason with her and over the span of her lifetime, years really isn't so long. Securing her environment and letting her roam freely will help reduce her frustation. Also when you have a situation when she can't touch something, redirect her with something she can touch or hold. I know it's more our instinct to say no, but only will only frustate your baby because she on her way to conquer her world. In our home, I stored any all breakables around the house. One room became her playroom and nothing in it is off limits, around the house it's just child proof, but anything at her eye level is OK to touch. My daughter was not yet crawling at your daughters age, but anything within her reach was never off limits. This meant, I didn't keep my hot coffee cup at the table I would drink it after her meal while she played on the floor with her dad.
In reference to her crying, as long as she basic needs are met. When my daughter was her age she had frozen teethers galore. Also try to observe what are the situations that seem to set her off the most. Sometimes babies just need to have you close by to feel secure and if your schedule allows you to accommodate that by all means its for her benefit. I wish you patience, because I don't like to hear my little one cry. I am finally learning her fake crying tone, that most moms pick up instantly. Best of luck.

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

You place her in a safe restraint in a room where she can't see you and at the first time she stops you go and get her. She is conditioning you, that means she can learn. There is a difference between discipline and learning. Teach her that her screaming means that she gets separated from what it is she wants in the first place. She will learn, have patience and maybe some loud music to play so she has to compete with it. As soon as she stops, turn down the music and return her to company.

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C.C.

answers from Reno on

You can certainly dicipline her in a healthy way by simply saying "no that's too loud" and when she continues you can put her into her crib for a minute. Then bring her back to the situation and you will probably have to do it a couple times before she gets it. It's not mean but direct. At her age you can't explain consequences but you can say no and move her to another place by herslef to show her that it's not acceptable and that no means no. It's not easy but I can tell you that it's much harder when they are older and you don't want to be in that position. If I knew then what I know now things would be so much simpler. Always keep in mind that it's about her being the best person she can be and it's not about controlling her behavior but teaching her right from wrong. Best wishes.

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