Screaming/screeching Son

Updated on September 10, 2009
P.W. asks from Halethorpe, MD
6 answers

My 14 month old son (Patrick) has obviously discovered his vocal cords and he tests them throughout the day. He is constantly screeching/screaming at the top of his lungs - and while it certainly gets my attention(and is difficult to ignore), it is becoming increasingly difficult to tolerate. Is this typical behavior or could there be another reason for the screaming/screeching? If typical, how long can I expect this to continue?

Thanks.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I almost wrote this same question recently. Little baby Miles (10 months) SCREECHES too, especially if he doesn't get his way (minor things- drops a toy from the stroller, I take away something he can't chew on, etc). It's way toooo loud and it makes me crazy sometimes- I just can't think with that volume. He started at about 9 months, and I was worried that maybe I was 'spoiling' him, or setting him up for tantrums later; but I think you're right that baby Patrick is experimenting with his vocal capabilities and the great reaction they get - from what I've read, it is just a phase. Just be patient, and try to have a sense of humor- I don't think there's much you can do.

I try as best as I can to divert his attention, and I offer him respectful explanations without just 'giving in' ('Mommy's keys are sharp, so you can't chew on them', or 'Oww! Screaming hurts mommy's ears!') but he doesn't comprehend and screams anyway...one day he will surprise you and understand, but until they learn to communicate better, you might be stuck with the screeching for a little while.

I'm not sure how long this phase lasts since Miles' hasn't subsided (terrible two's?) but unless baby Patrick seems like he's in pain or he's acting sick, I'd say it's typical.

I cover and uncover his mouth to make different patterns while he's screaming, so instead of 'aaaaaaaa!' it's 'wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa!' and he thinks that's pretty funny and gets distracted. Turn it into a game and he might lower the volume and forget he was even upset.

Good luck, mama... hang in there!
-A.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

ALl children are different, but my son (now 16 months) went through a phase around 14 months where he "Squeamed" all the time. It was like a cross between a scream and a squeal. I had difficulty ignoring, but I did my best and he stopped doing it about a month later. BEst Wishes.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I would just say Quiet and if he keeps it up ignore him.

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K.K.

answers from Washington DC on

it's totally normal and the phase lasts as long as the screaming gets your attention.

which is to say, if you ignore it, it will last about 6 mos (or, if you're lucky, less) and if you give it attention (ANY attention) it will last longer. everything they do is with the intention of getting your attention, whether good or bad, so whatever gets attention will be repeated, good or bad. this is particularly charming when you're out in public.... :)

personally, with my youngest who is the worst screamer (the others I was really able to work with it and mostly ignore it and the phase passed fairly painlessly), the balance that I have found (because I found the screaming itself to be almost painful -- man, that kid has lungs!) was allowing myself to react to it (since I physically couldn't control the impulse, no matter how well I know intellectually that reacting contributes to the behavior) but only insofar as I would instruct him how to get my attention and then turn away until he did what I had asked.

so, for example, he would screech at me b/c he wanted me to pick him up, I would turn and say "Up Mommy?" and raise my arms up. eventually, he would make a sing-song sound like my "Up Mommy" and throw his arms up and then I would pick him up. if he screamed again, I would just repeat "Up Mommy?" with the arm motion, and I wouldn't pick him up until he did it. that's key: you can't give in on that. in that way, he eventually learned to just do the "Up Mommy" song with the arm movements and I pick him up. and I felt like at least I could react to and address the screaming since I was incapable of ignoring it.

hope that helps....

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey, P.! Yep, sounds pretty normal. He's realized he can make noise and lots of it. Take him to the park or in the yard and let him exercise his vocals. I actually screamed with the babies, which helped me blow off a little steam. They got a kick out of it and we all had a good laugh. That's just me, though. Surprisingly, they learned not to do it anywhere else, which was a blessing. And, of course, I used it as an opportunity to teach outside voice versus inside voice, loud and soft, etc. As for timeline, well, this too shall pass once he's figured out the rest of his body can do other cool things and/or he realizes his world is bigger than the room in which you placed him. The toddler years are loaded with fun. Make sure you keep a video camera handy and have a great sense of humor.

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K.N.

answers from Norfolk on

My son never seemed like a crybaby, or a fusser, or a whiner. He was always a screamer! We used to get scared at first but as he got older we grew used to it. He still does it from time to time, more in tantrum form now, and he is almost 3. I would not worry about it, every child is different. Sometimes we think he is going to hurt his throat and definitely feel our ears suffering, but for the most part we try to teach him inside vs. outside voice and try to ignore it and just tell him not to scream but I don't anticipate it coming to a stop at this point. Good luck!

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