Screaming Issues

hey :)

My daughter, who just turned 3, will do the samething. With her it really depends on her mood for the day on what does and doesnt work.

I'll try to calm her down, all the stuff that you mention, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. On the days that NOTHING works, I just put her to bed. I just simply tell her how it is. 'you want to throw a fit you can go lay down. Maybe youll feel better later.' She'll have a fit aobut it and I'll just talk to her clamly saying something like "I know you're cranky today. It's ok, everybody gets cranky sometimes but it's not ok to have a fit." And then I just tuck her in the way I normally would.

Sometimes she'll crash right out! Other times she'll fuss or cry for a few mins before going to sleep. And almost always, she's much happier after a nap. There are a few days when she's up at 7:30 and back in bed as soon as 9! I think that days like that, odds are she didn't sleep very well at all.

She just turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and already understands when I say, "you can stop your fit, or you can go lay down. What do you want to do?" She usually stops.

I think her fits are slowly starting to decrease. Hopefuly you son's will start to decrese soon too!

Good luck!

You have to be consistent. And since it's affecting your younger child, I would suggest that you gently remove your 3 year old to his room, let him know that he can come out when he's ready to be reasonable, and then close the door. Go check on him in 5 or 10 minutes. If he gets past being upset about something to just uncontrollable crying (my son, now 4, would do this sometimes) then help him get calmed down so you and he can talk about acceptable behaviour.
Whatever you do will affect your younger son. If he sees that crying and screaming will not help his brother get his way then you are being a sucessful parent. My 1 year old, when she gets upset and in trouble will go stand in the corner (all by herself) because that is what happens to her brother when he gets in trouble. :)

I would recommend that you take a little time to think about where this is coming from before you decide how to deal with it. First of all, your son is three. This is a really normal stage to go through. Toddlers are filled with strong emotions that they don't know how to let out appropriately. They also have very little language, so they have difficulty expressing what they want/need. Secondly, you have a fairly new baby in the house - he has a lot changing in his life. He is probably feeling hurt and angry at all the time you spend with the baby and all the attention the baby gets. Additionally (if you're anything like me) you probably have less time to even figure out what your son needs, let alone to try and meet those needs. You may be able to discipline your son out of this issue. However, you need to deal with the root of the problem if you want to help your son learn to deal with his feelings. Time outs teach your son that what he is doing is inappropriate, but it does not teach him how he *can* express his emotions in an acceptable way.

My best recommendation is to read Dr. Harvey Karp's book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." It is a relatively short paperback. You should be able to find it at your local library. If not there, you can order it from amazon.com for about $10. http://tinyurl.com/happytoddler

The first part of the book explains what is going on in your toddler's developing mind, and the second helps you to connect with your child and teach him what he should be doing. Best of all - you can skip right to the second part now to deal with the screaming, and then go back and read the first part when you have time. It worked very well with my oldest daughter, and now my second is about to turn 3 and we're needing it again.

Best of luck,
S. L

AACK! I have a three year old that does the same thing and my one year old is starting to do it too. It makes me nuts! Basically, I decided on ONE consequence for the screaming and that is to go sit on the couch. I spent a VERY long time with no results, in fact he would sit on the couch and scream.

Here are a couple of things I figured out:

- Do not discuss it, or negotiate with him. Tell him his screaming is disruptive and not ok and he must sit on the couch EVERY time he does it.

- Once he is on the couch (or time out, whatever you decide). Do not look at him, acknowledge him - NOTHING

- I usually leave him there for about 10 to 15 minutes before I get him.

- If the screaming happens in public. I leave immediately, no matter what. The only time I don't is if I am in the doctor's office. It is a pain, especially if I am in the check out lane or eating dinner, but I do it anyways.

All this being said, it has worked for me. He has gotten progressively better. It did not happen overnight but it is happening. His screaming fits are very far and few between now.

Good luck! I know how frustrating it is.