Schooling Philosophy Question

Hello Kathleen,

First, I was a public school teacher for grades 7 & 8, so I have seen first hand some of the things you are concerned about. Yes, there are drugs, alcohol, sex, and bad influences going on, however, it is pervasive to our society. These things are not symptoms of public school, they are symptoms of our culture and they do occur at the same rates in private schools as well. I agree with the first poster, children model the behavior we show them. The secret is staying connected to them and guiding them through these decisions so that they can make them without us one day. As moms, we want to protect them from all the bad things out there, but we learn that we can't.

There are other options out there, homeschooling is one. And there are home-schooling co-ops too, parents will teach a group of kids and they all share the responsibilities. Some schools districts have teachers that oversee the homeschooling and they meet with them once a week, or so, to monitor the progress. Let me add a warning here, homeschooling is best done by a family that is deeply committed to this type of learning. It takes a lot of work on everyone's part, siblings included, to make this work. Don't let that discourage you should that be the route you take, just know that you will probally be in for more than you bargained for! It is not easy and the personalities of the individuals involved and family dynamics play a big part. I considered doing it because my youngest has deadly food allergies, and even as an experienced teacher, I found the task daunting.

I would take some time to call the school district you are living in and ask them what alternatives are available. You would be able to answer your question with a quick phone call. Just take a look at the web site for the district and look for employee titles like, curriculum co-ordinator or homeschool co-ordinator. Someone should eventually route you to the right person. Most districts are glad to take the time to answer these types of questions.

Good luck!

Contrary to some thinking, sending our kids to parochial schools does not keep them safe from sex or drugs. Those things happen there just as frequently as they do in public schools, people just don't talk about it out loud there. The best advice I can give is to talk to your kids early on in life about those things and others, alcohol especially. I put on drug and alcohol summits in our high school as the PTA health and safety/community svcs chair. I've attended conferences locally and in Washington DC. Have listened to experts, counselors, kids and parents alike and the best offense are the parents in partnership with their schools and community. Your kids are going to emulate your behaviors. Think about what you do to relieve stress and tension. What do you do to have fun. Kids really do learn what they live. When it comes to their friends, get to know them and their parents. Have those talks in grade school, middle school and high school. Many kids take their first drinks while in elementary school. Lots of kids have their first sexual encounter in middle school. It's not that kids are growing up faster these days, it's just that we're talking about it and pulling back the curtains. Being involved with your kids' school regardless of who operates it is HUGE. You can't just drop them off at the front door and tell the school it's their responsibility to teach them all they need to know about academics and life. You partner with your school, with your church, with your friends and family. It takes a village to raise a child. If you keep them locked away, protecting them from the world around you, they'll never know what to do, they won't recognize danger or temptation. Enjoy your kids. Talk with them, play with them, learn with and from them, don't leave any of that to someone else because you're too busy or too tired. They will be great people.

Isn't it wonderful, this being a Mom ????? ---There certainly are options - many districts offer a program similar to Northshore's PACE -( Parent and Children - Educating) -- I'm not sure that's what PACE stands for- but it is a public progrma where parents are in the classroom often and the children are allowed more flexiility - some kids tht's a perfect situation - for others- it's too chaotic --- check out your district ---

Blessings-
J.

Kathleen,

You've had some very thougtful responses already!
I teach in a very crowded middle school, not far from Kirkland. It is in an extremely affluent part of town, but there are kids from all socioeconomic situations and diverse households.

I see MANY, many kids who are very respectful, hard working, ethical, and super responsible over the course of my day. They have been raised well, and I firmly believe that is the biggest factor! I think the students who are allowed some freedom in life and yes, make mistakes that they learn from with the help of their parents, are the ones who make the right choices later. My students recently wrote an essay about a choice they have made in their lives, and the outcome of that choice (good or bad). Their responses were SO innocent and yet they had wise and thoughtful analyses of their actions.

For the most part, kids want to be good and feel safe and loved by understanding the boundaries and parameters we give them--even if they act like they don't. The kids with the right parental involvement tend to be the ones making the right choices. The girls I see who are considered "at risk" tend to have home situations that are too lax, or absentee parents who work too much (or too hard) and don't have the energy to focus on their teenagers (and most of the time it's not their fault, they are simply trying to eke out a living that supports their families and since teenagers can take care of a lot of their basic needs themselves, they get left behind a bit)--your girls are probably not experiencing either of those things!

Don't undermine your core values in the home once your children are out of the home! They are still there and your kids will remember them.

Best wishes--I know I'll probably be feeling similarly when it's my turn to send my little one off to school!

Hi Kathleen - I think I am very blessed because my (Lutheran) church has a day school for grades K-8. Because of the tiny size - 13 kids total in a one room school with two teachers - the families are very close-knit and there are not drugs and sexual problems at all. In fact, our parents talk about how to properly educate their kids about what they'll face when they leave here because they haven't encountered these problems yet. We have high school kids who come back to their parents after a day at school flabbergasted at what they have witnessed in their peers' behavior. Some people will say they've been too sheltered, but if you ask me I think that the longer they can be sheltered from it the better!!

This type of school is not common, but I do know that there are a lot of homeschoolers around here who join together in co-op type situations, so you definitely wouldn't be just alone in your home all day staring at school books with your kids if you were to take that route!

Also, I'm always interested in why moms start their kids in preschool if they can stay home with them. Do you feel she needs to be in school at 3 years old?? I've not sent my girls to preschool, we just do letter and number workbooks and activities together at home. For socialization and learning to obey other adults, stand in line, share, etc. I keep them involved in Parks & Rec classes, playgroups, and Sunday School. Don't feel like you have to send your girls to preschool just because it's available!
Blessings on your search,
js

First off, it sounds like you're laying the foundations with your girls to help them withstand the pressures no matter where they go to school. You'd probably really like any number of the "co-op" options available. They're inbetween mainstream schools and isolated homeschooling. Most homeschools are also part of a co-op so you might look into that. I've also heard a lot of good things about Waldorf schools. There's normally a preschool information fair a couple times a year in Bellevue that has a lot of the options there and you can ask questions and see what's a best fit.

My kids starting at 2 went to co-op preschool through the Community Colleges. They went two days a week--once with me and once by them selves. Then they went to a Montessori private school until I ran out of money. I believe in the private school system, especially if you want to develop independent thinkers. I don't know if that is true about the Catholic schools. When my kids hit the public schools they were independent thinkers, and armored against outside influences, and put into the gifted programs.

That's my experience.