School's Starting and We're in Trouble with Bed Time!

I would start adjusting their bedtime by 15 minutes each day. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier and set an alarm to get them up earlier too. It might take a while but you need to begin right now adjusting their schedule so it can work better for school time. Good luck.

1) don't feel bad. You can't change the past. Only the present

2) put the kids to bed, on the FLOOR of your room. On a mat or futon.
TELL them they can sleep there. That is, IF you really don't want to co-sleep... or if you want your independence.

3) Your kid(s) WILL be tired, once school starts... because, their allowed habit was to go to bed at midnight. And waking at 9-10:00am. This is not their fault. BUT... now their systems are used to this sleep schedule and routine. It will not be changed, over night.

4) MY thought about this is: ONCE school starts, your kids WILL be much more tired and need more sleep. You MUST wake them early, on time, in order to get ready and go to school. Being in school, ALL day, will tire them out.
Hence.... once school starts, they WILL NEED more sleep... and they will probably pass out, from being tired, earlier in the night.
Because, once school starts, they will NOT be able to sleep at midnight... nor will they last and keep awake, until this time.
HENCE, it will be real hard knocks, for them, per being tired, once school starts. AND only then, will their inner clocks, get tweaked... and it will HAVE TO adjust to more NORMAL sleep times, for them. They are a child.

AND yes, they will be cranky and fussy... as their bodies/biology/emotions... get used to, more sane and normal hours of sleep. BUT until then, they will be fussy/cranky and it will affect their demeanor and in school too etc.

It is rough, for them. Because they have had 'adult' sleep hours and habits... all this time.

But for sleeping/co-sleeping, don't sweat it. Just have them, sleep on the FLOOR of your room, on a mat or futon.
Make that, the new rule.
THEN, over time, transition them to their own rooms.
In some cultures, all generations sleep in the same room anyway. It is a matter of perspective.

Believe me, ONCE your son starts school, there will be NO WAY... he will last.... if he keeps going to bed a midnight. AND, he will, biologically be passing out, earlier.

Once the kids start school... ALSO MAKE THE NIGHT'S ROUTINES EARLIER, TOO. Like, dinner time and snack times and bath times and getting ready for bed, times.
Make EVERYTHING earlier, too.
Because, you cannot rationally, just keep the timing or the nights routines.... to be late as it has always been.
You have to move up the timing, of the night's routines... MUCH earlier too.
So that, everything, is in line, with their more rational earlier, bed time.
So, everyone, has to change their habits. For the benefit of the children and so that, they DO get enough sleep and a more normal, sleep.

Also, for some kids, when they are over-tired... they actually get MORE "hyper." My son is like that.

all the best,
Susan

For 2 weeks before school started I would put up quilts in the bedroom windows to make our daughters room dark.

I suggest you make your room as dark as possible. Make it cooler and put a sound machine in there.

Place the kids on the floor on a mattress, cots or sleeping bags. You need to get them into their own rooms, this is not the time to try to change this, since school will be a big adjustment right now..

In the morning, start waking them up at the time they will need to wake up once school starts. We had to leave for school at 7:30 am, so I used to wake our daughter up beginning at 6:45 am. Then I would give her a few minutes to sleep "a few more minutes"..

I would get breakfast started and make her lunch and then make sure she had at least gone to the potty and brushed her teeth by 7:00 am.

Then she would get dressed.. (the clothing was chosen the night before). Then eat her breakfast.. Our daughter did not like to be spoken to in the morning or asked any questions (she is like me).. So we had an agreement we would not speak unless we were ready for conversations..

By 7:20 we would make sure we had everything for the day. Brush her hair, etc.. In the car at 7:30..

To help your children Wake them up starting tomorrow at 7:00 am.. Give them breakfast and then let them play inside till 9:00.

At 9:00, they need to go outside and play.. Run scream jump, hop, ride trikes, bikes..

At 11:00 get them to put away their toys and stuff from outside. Bring them in get them cleaned up and have lunch by 11:30 .

After lunch, wipe them down (use some good hard wipes with a warm wash cloth)..

Then take them to their sleeping area (room darkened) read them 2 or 3 picture books.. DO NOT ask them questions or get them into conversations.. Have them only listen to the stories.. On the last book, read slower and slower. If they are still awake, tell them they need to stay laying down and no talking.. I used to tell my daughter, mom needs a nap, so please help me, by being quiet so I can sleep.

Then tell them they need to rest if they have not fallen asleep. They must stay on their mattress, sleeping bag.. whatever they sleep on..

In an hour and a half to 2 hours, get them up, give them a snack and let them play outside or inside..

Then take them swimming for an hour or 2. Bring them home, change their clothes, quiet play while you prepare dinner..

Dinner starts at 5:30 or 6:00 Keep the house quiet.. Notice.. NO TV all day..

No horse play during dinner, keep it nice and quiet.. After dinner, get the kids to help clean up..

Then bath times, again no loud talking, no TV, no cell Phone calls, no loud horse play.. Rub them with strong strokes in the bathtub. Dry them with strong strokes.

Make sure the bedroom is prepped.. Dark, cool and white noise machine to block out neighborhood sounds.

Start bed time story no later than 7:30, read books, again do not ask them questions, do not make it animated.. Very matter of fact. Read the last book slower and quieter.

Repeat this each day.. If they cannot go swimming every day.. take them to the park..

The secret is that you have to wake them up at 6:45 to 7:00.. sleeping till 9 or 10 is what has moved their schedule back so far..

For their diet make sure they are eating healthy.. maybe cut out juice so they do not have so much sugar in their systems.. Make sure you look at their diets and they are getting enough protein.. It makes a huge difference.

It can be done. They are just not on a regulated schedule. Children need and thrive with schedules.. I promise..

Start waking them up earlier. Plan an activity that is exciting and fun, like going to McDonald's for breakfast. Let them play and then eat something, even if it's just a yogurt parfait. They will be on board and wake up easily with something to look forward to.

We started tonight putting everyone to bed by 9pm. That's the kids bedtime during the school year. My BFF has her kids bedtime at 10pm, they get up at 7 so that is over 8 hours of sleep. That's more than enough. It takes our guys about an hour to wind down and relax enough to go out. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes they are asleep when they hit the pillow. You might need to bump it up more after they start getting used to going down on time.

In most states it's perfectly fine and reasonable to wait another year to send them to K. It's not even necessary for them to go for that year. You could homeschool this year and put him in next year at first grade if you wanted.

You already know you need to change some things with the kids. I don't personally think it's a problem that you all fall asleep together. I think that you could and should shut out all the lights and tv's in the house at 8pm and climb in bed with them and get them to stay still. I don't care if they cry or fuss, make them and you go to bed. You'll all start dropping off earlier out of sheer boredom. Then, once they start to sleep at an earlier time, you can start taking them to their beds when they fall asleep. That's even if you must. I'm not against the family bed. I'm just against the idea of kids being up that late unless they can get up the next morning without fussing and being cranky all day.

It's taken my grandson months of trial and error, but we finally have his nap and bed time at the same exact times and we put him down and he goes right to sleep out of habit. Habits take time to form.

Don't beat yourself up over this! You are by no means the only one in this situation. I posted early in the summer about already being in such a bad pattern with the kids and sleep that I felt terrible and couldn't get back on track. My kids are older, but it is still an issue every year. My son and I are slowly getting back to some sort of schedule, but my daughter is doing her own thing and is just going to have to do it her way. I am starting out shooting for going to bed earlier and still not setting a clock in the morning. We are naturally waking up earlier, but not as early as we will for school! Just know that tons of us are in the same situation and it really does seem to balance out some once school gets going. Hang in there. Try to get your little ones in bed and at least quiet by a certain time. They may not fall asleep, but if they are quiet at least they will rest some Eventually they will get bored enough to fall asleep! :)

Once school gets rolling, school will whip them into "school schedule". My mom never really forced a sleep schedule on us for this reason, BUT we at least had to be in our rooms at a certain time. As far as the co-sleeping goes... hmmm LOL I would honestly love to have my babies next me all night since they don't want to cuddle much when they are awake haha My 2yo son prefers his own bed and baby boy (9months) sleeps in his crib. No judgement coming from me heehee I think you'll figure out what needs to be done when YOU know they just can't sleep in your bed anymore. Good Luck

start by putting them in their own rooms. so you don't have the leaving the bed problem ,they are old enough to not co sleep. Then start getting them up at the time they need to get up for school. then they will naturally need to go to bed earlier. They are cranky during the day because they are tired.
Start now so you have time to get them changed over .
with your son , watch his diet, cut out all sugar and caffine. and see how he does, he may be way reved up if his diet is off. or he may be hyperactive.

Bad bad mom! Just kidding. I have found even if I don't ease my kids back into the school schedule before school starts they fall into place pretty quick. It is not like they do anything important the first week anyway.

I am in the same boat as you. I am a SAHM and have never needed a strict schedule so we do stay up late and sleep late some days. My daughter will start preschool this year and I am worried about how we will both manage. I think once they start getting up early, they will just naturally go to sleep early. I bet after the first week of school they will be adjusted. Good luck.

Don't know what advice you have gotten, but after getting the kids up earlier, try putting the 3 year old down first, especially if she goes down easier (even if its in your own bed for now until you get your son's pattern changed). If your son has his own room, then start a good routine. Teeth brushing, book, potty, and bed. You might even want to hang out with him until he falls asleep to aide him in the transition. Try belly, forehead, hand, or foot rubbing to help him doze off while you sing a song or just remain quiet. Good luck! Keep us posted on your progress.

Don't feel bad. Many co sleep. Enjoy it while you can because to soon they will be grown up and want nothing to do with ya lol. What I did was start a ritual. Bath and bed. Their bed with a movie. Start it early. They will get up at some point and come into your bed. Thats ok for now.

I don't have much more to offer, some of the responses sound really good. I just wanted to tell you I'm in the same boat, but mine are a little older. I have to tell them not to tell people how late they stay up for fear of a judgemental "Donna". We're night owls. Our kids are night owls. Whatcha gonna do. I think it is wise to start now, I'll start readjusting our kids in a couple weeks.

Don't you just love how some people think that because of the one thing you're lax about you need parenting classes?

Are you planning to transition them to their own beds? This might help, so that they are learning to sleep on their own and not just when you are sleeping and waking up. We coslept with both our kids, and then we transitioned them to their own beds (in our room) for a few weeks to get them used to being in their own beds. Then after that we transitioned them to their own room. After they got used to it, they were fine with it; it just takes some adjusting and getting used to the change. Also, it might be easier if they share a room, since they are used to sleeping with someone else with them; you could even have them share a bed first and then transition to their own beds. My daughter slept in their bedroom alone at first, then we transitioned my son in there. They had their own separate beds and I tucked them in separately, but sometimes I would wake up and go in their room and see that my son had gotten into his sister's bed and they slept together (they were only two and four, and it was really cute). Now they are 8 and 6 and sleep just fine on their own without me (and without each other, they sleep in their own beds). It will take time, but with some consistency you can have them sleeping in their own bed. Good luck!

Hi, J.:

I suggest you get into parenting classes ASAP.

If you think you are in trouble now, wait until they become teenagers.
No rules now make big trouble later.
Just a thought.
D.