School Changing Behavior

I have 4 kids and I wold say with my boys I noticed the same behavior. I don't think taking him out of school would solve any issues considering in another year he will be starting public school. Unless you feel the preschool is not adequately taking care of these issues while he is there I would leave him in school. He needs the interaction with the other children. Now as for his behavior at home I would simply get down on his level and let him know that that type of behavior is not allowed nor tolerated it and he will be siting in time out everytime that you have to correct him. Trust me it will take a lot of timeouts but eventually it'll work especially if you do something fun while he's in timeout like play a game and he can't join, he'll start behaving better.

This was the very reason we pulled our two boys out of the school system, and home schooled them using the Moore Academy System. Boys mature later and just don't seem to handle being in that kind of environment until much later. Our second son (his brother has DMD) started in a public school situation at 16 when he began taking classes at the local community college. He is now a Marine, stationed in Iraq. Our young men are both very independent minded, with strong moral values and loving hearts. We wouldn't trade the experience of home schooling for anything.

Here is an article about a study done by Berkley and Stanford regarding social behavior and preschool:

http://www.preschoolingathome.msen.org/Berkeley.html

That being said, I don't think 2 days out of the week is going to "hurt" your son that bad. However, I know that my experience has been that kids at this age will pick up behaviors from other kids really quickly. I think that if you've noticed a drastic change that should tell you right away that he is not where he should be. Does that mean every preschool is bad? No. But maybe this particular one isn't working well for your son.

What kind of message are you worried about it sending? You don't need to tell him why he isn't going anymore. Just say you're not doing that anymore and wait until kindergarten.

It might be an age thing, my son started talking back and being real annoying when he turned five. It did also have to do with the kids he was hanging out with, but we can't keep them wrapped in a cocoon forever. Just be firm and let him know that behavior is not tolerated.

I have three boys as well and we went through the same thing. We ended up pulling our oldest out of school and it helped tremendously. In the fall they will be starting school together so hopefully that will help.

His changing behavior might be because he just got a new brother...his mommy taken away(in his mind)and new friends...school...teacher...not being near to his mommy anymore and not being the only one or baby...My oldest daughter I have been told was an angel when my youngest arrived. I got lucky. But when my daughter has change besides siblings(like Kindergarten this yr...or moving)she has been difficult. They like consistency. Just talk to him in words that he can understand and tell him that he is still important if not more because now the baby will look up to him. I sit down with my daughter to explain Kindergarten/new friends/new teacher/new house...will be fun and not to worry because she will always have me. But he also has to understand that the violence (with anyone) is not solving anything and innappropriate.

Funny you should ask this because my husband and I decided to pull our children out of preschool this week for the very same thing. My daughter has been coming home with such an awful attitude and when can only figure it's coming from there. The teachers are great, but the children who go there are not. I also noticed that before we put them in school they were "hungry" for knowledge and learning alot, now it seems they just don't care. I'm hoping that after a couple of weeks of not being in school the attitude adjustment will be made and we can have a better and productive family life!

That is a lot of change for a 4 year old. With a 5 and a 7 year old, I constantly see change in them. They are either upset with some issue bothering them and they take it out on everyone at home, or they are going through a growth phase and there is a change in their personality. Age 4 or 5 seems to bring on a lot of change and with the change in your little boy's life, which are good changes, but he just needs to adjust. Try to give him some extra attention. If you think it may be a school issue, have you met with the teacher to see if he/she notices any changes with your child? Sometimes if teachers know what's going on, they may give a little extra attention (I'm a teacher).

It sounds like either your son is angry about the birth of his brother and/or being sent to school, or he is picking up some bad habits at school. Children act out when their needs arent being met and they have no way to share it or dont even understand how they are feeling themselves. Their behavior is the barometer for us as adults to monitor them. Taking him out of school, in my opinion, will let him know you are giving him what he needs. (Afterall, school is NOT mandatory at his age.) I think he is crying for the attention and love he is feeling lacking at the moment. IT is a difficult thing for a little one to adapt to another person sharing mommy/daddy time and all else that goes with it.