School Bringing in McDonald's for v Day Party---We Don't Eat It, What to Do?

One Happy Meal does not a junk food junkie make. I promise. It's a "treat", not a regular thing. If YOU don't make a big deal over it, then she won't either.

My goodness let her have it. Why have her feel left out. You say you are
afraid she will start begging for it. If she does, she does. Remember you
are the mother. You are the one that would have to take her into McDs.
So you just do not do it. Let her enjoy her Valentines Day party.

The occasion "less healthy" option will not do any harm. I would let her have the meal and the toy...treat it as a special thing just for her class for Valentine's Day. That will not make you have to go there as a family.

Personally, I think everyone that thinks McDonalds is the root of all evil should lighten up. Moderation is the key, not demonizing any and all food that can be considered "unhealthy" YES, I totally agree that it is responsible parenting to restrict fast food in your kid's diet, but if you are so rigid your child cannot accept a one time holiday treat at preschool, that is going way overboard. I think it is much better just to order the meal, because it is a special holiday treat with her class. It will NOT open up a can of worms, you're still 100% in control of where you take your family to eat and what you serve at home. Your child isn't used being taken there by you, so she probably won't even ask. If she does ask you to go there, just say, "no, that food isn't the healthiest, so that is only for a rare treat" I think it is a mistake to make this a big deal.

I'm an older mom, so maybe my take on this is a little different, but it's one day. Let her have it. Everyone wants to vilify McDonalds and the schools for what they are giving the kids. Seriously? When I was in school we got to bring treats (home made) for everything. Cupcakes, cookies, nobody cared. And guess what? There were no overweight kids that I can remember. Maybe one or two, but certainly not like we see today. Having a few treats at school didn't matter because we weren't sitting around watching tv and playing video games. There were no Leapsters and DSis so we rode our bikes and played tag. Of course good nutrition is important, but let her have the treat. When she asks for it again, just say no.

Out of curiosity what do you think will happen when she hits an age that she can make her own choices? I can guarantee you that she will be choosing these foods that she has been denied. And possibly over indulging. Seriously-I have seen this happen. Moderation is the key to healthy eating. So once in a blue moon it will not hurt her to have this kind of food. And I really don't think that once in a while will give her such a taste for it that she will crave it. If you don't plan to let her eat it I wouldn't send her in that day. Not at all fair to her. The other kids are going to be WAY excited for their happy meal....it is a distinct joy of most kid's lives actually-no matter how terrible it may or may not be. If she is forced to eat tofu or whatever else you send in she will be crushed.

@ Kathy D....McDonalds wanted to bring happy meals in for our school and I encountered some resistance from the school b/c the meals were not healthy. I then pulled up our school lunch nutritional information and compared it to the happy meal. Which one do you think was better? If you guessed the Happy Meal you would be right. I am NOT saying this is a good thing-I think our schools have a WAYS to go to be genuinely nutritional for the kids. While they have concentrated on pulling out the sugar the sodium is through the roof. Our schools lunches average 2000 mg of sodium!! Something does need to be done but pointing fingers at fast food will not fix the problem.

My son's pre-K did this sort of thing and I never was a fan, so I feel your pain!

On the flip side, I grew up in a strict home and I know how the forbidden fruit can be tempting. I try not to take a tee-totalers appaoch in my parenting, because I know from personal experience that this can harbour resentment and just make kids want things more.

If I were in your shoes, I would let her have the Happy Meal. Yes, it is not the most healthy option and the toys are usually cheap, but I would 'sell' it to her as the treat that it is. On the rare occasssions she gets those things, they would be special, not the norm.

Best of luck to you!!

Seriously? There are a lot worse things for your daughter (now and down the road) than a happy meal. Let her enjoy her party and her day and try it out. Is she going to eat any Valentine's candy or cookies or cupcakes? IMO that's worse!

I'm sure that once in awhile (even at home) you eat something less nutritional than a happy meal.

Oh my gosh, if she has a happy meal once in a blue moon it isn't going to hurt her. Moderation is key. Teach her that and let your daughter have it with the rest of the class if she wants it.

I think if you go to this extent to make sure she doesn't get one happy meal at this age, by the time she is in high school she will be eating it twice a week. C'mon its one burger and fries! Chances are she'll pick at it anyway and just enjoy the part where she gets a toy and gets to be just like her friends. Eating healthy is important, but you need not be held hostage by dietary choices. Everything in moderation and relax--there are more important battles in life. You can't control everything/

I am very surprised at the responses here. Come on people!!! If you want to feed your kids McDonalds on your own time go ahead. But it is NOT OK for it to be served at school. School is where we teach our children right and wrong, good habits and bad habits. We are trying to set a good example for children in school. I cannot believe that the school is bringing in McDonalds!!! I thought there was a movement in schools towards healthier eating for kids!? Schools have rules now about healthy snacks only etc. I would complain to the school principal, the director, the teacher. I would absolutely make a stink about it. I totally disagree. As you said, it undermines parents like you trying to do the right thing for their child and feed them right. It is teaching a bad example. Why would they do this when there are so many other healthy and fun foods to make and eat for preschoolers?! Please let me know if you do voice your opinion what happens I am curious. Good luck. Stand up for what you believe is right even if you feel you are outnumbered! Ask them at the the school haven't they ever seen the documentary about Fast Food nation, or Supersize me.? Ask them is McDonalds really the best choice for the children? Even if they don't change their minds after at least you were one voice of reason that was heard. ANd maybe they don't change right away but maybe something you say plants a seed in someone's mind and the tide will turn the next time the school is planning something like this.

i wouldn't single her out on vday party....let her have fun with her class mates, later in life, she'll be putting so much more junk in her body it'll be ridicilous, but it'll also be out of rebellion... just tell her because it's a special occasion, you'll make an exception.

good job for keeping her diet healthy........but cut her some slack mom

Your daughter is going to be exposed to many things in life that your family does not agree with. You are the parent and allowed to say no. It will be hard, but believe me, there will be many more difficult things to say no to than a McDonald's hamburger. I personally would let her have it at school because it is a special day and special treat. She may ask for it at other times, but this is where you can say no. I think some parents place too much emphasis on making their children happy and blame the media for having the nerve to expose their chidlren to things like fast food and toys instead of excerising their right and responsibility as parents to say no sometimes.

You are entitled to your views however, I don't think anyone can dictate what the rest of the class does, SO you can pack her a lunch that day OR let er have it. She is going to "see" undesirable stuff eventually, and usually it is in pre-school!

If it was me, I'd let her have...the...O....Happy Meal.

Tell her it was only a Valentine's Day treat. I wouldn't over think this if I were you.

Explain to her that it's a special Valentine's treat and that it's not something that she will be allowed to get again for a long time.

I think that not letting her have it this one day is more hurtful than having it. And saying no 100% of the time to something, especially food can hurt in the long run. My BFF was NEVER allowed sweets, junk food or McD's as a kid. So when she went to parties without her parents, he friends played and she sat at the snack table and ate junk food. She now battels big time with her weight.

Also, it's a good learning opportunity for her. She asks for it in the future - you say no. We all have to understand how no works in many situations.

Yep, you are making a much bigger deal than necessary on this. It's one happy meal and the thought of NOT getting one will make her feel much worse than having it. Let her enjoy the party and an hour later, it will be over and you'll be in control again of the menu.

I really don't think letting her have this one "less healthy option" is going to hurt her as much as the feeling of being "different" than all of her peers would. As for the begging thing, that is where your parenting comes in. At (I'm guessing) four years old, she is old enough to understand that this was a treat and that begging for anything is not going to get you anywhere.

Seriously your over thinking this if you want to set all the ground rules for your daughter then you need to home school her, at some time in her life she has to be disappointed & learn how to deal with them.This is a fun event why take this away from her it is 1 meal 1 packaged toy you have already set your rules at home that you don't go to these fast food places however I do just the other night the school had a community nite at our local Wendy's to raise money for the school I told them no happy meals we are ordeing off the regular menu & they were all ok with that plus no soda water & if you wanted juice or milk when we get home that is fine.We go to fast food places once a month or if the schedule is tight typically no more then 3 times a month go ahead & cringe my kids are healthy not obese.Do you think that if she eats this 1 happy meal your going to create a junk food monster?Be bummed let your daughter be bummed for not letting her eat this meal with her class then explain to her why,or go with the healthy choice chicken nuggets,apple dippers,white milk.BTW there will be additional treats there as take home treats from the Valentines Day party I guess you'll let her have the cards & throw out the treats.

Pack her a home made "happy meal" with a little toy for the special occasion.

If you are modeling good eating habits at home, I seriously doubt one Happy Meal is going to completely warp her. It's a special day with a special treat, and while there are plenty of times you might need to teach her to take a stand and not just "go along with the crowd", I don't think this is one of them - she might wonder why everyone else gets to have a Happy Meal and she doesn't.

And believe it or not, compared to the chicken nuggets, the burger is the lesser of 2 evils. At least it is ground beef and contains more iron, etc. than chicken. The nuggets are deep-fried in batter so the fact that they are chicken is completely negated. You can get apple slices instead of fries, and milk instead of a sugary drink, which is what we do for our DD. If you do allow for burgers and fries, this isn't that much different. And if she starts wanting to go to McD's more, just say no - you are still the parent and still in charge at home. As she gets older though, you will need to be willing to give up some control and learn to pick and choose your battles. Letting her have a Happy Meal at school like everyone else right now is not a battle worth fighting, IMO.

Let her have it, and don't say a single word to her about! If she says something about it after the party, just say, "Wow, that sounds like a fun treat," and let it go. If you talk to her about it before hand, you are putting ideas in her head. Just let her have fun! If she wants to get it again, just say, "Sorry, hunny, but we don't go to McDonalds."

I would let it be the special treat that it is and not make a big deal about it with your daughter. If it was cookies, ice cream and fruit punch that was being served instead as a party treat while you didn't eat sweet stuff at home, I would say the same thing. I wouldn't even refer to it as a special treat, putting more importance on the food and making it seem more like a reward. I would just let your daughter view it as a one-time deal that happened because of the party. Now, if her school starts making a habit of fast food at all holiday parties, then I would talk with them about the examples they're setting. Good luck!

Eating it once won't hurt her. Let her enjoy her school party.

I personally dont think there is anything wrong with it. You dont eat there regularly so i dont see the problem. We treat our kids to a happy meal once every couple of weeks and he never askes or begs for it. If he asks i say no maybe another day and that is the end of it. Plus if you want a little healthier just see if you can get apples instead of the fries. That is what i usually do and my son likes the apples better. I think you run into a problem when the parents give thier kids happy meals all the time and never say no. Plus the toys are only fun for like a day or two and then they usually get tosses or put away. I would say let her enjoy a happy meal on rare occasions and just explain to her that we cant have these all the time and it is just for special occasions.

It's hard enough being a kid...don't make her be the odd man out. Let her have the Happy Meal and enjoy the party... One meal isn't going to have her pleading with you for McNuggets daily...you are the parent. Life is too short to get wound up abou the little things.

The more you try to shield her from stuff completely...the worse it will be later when she does have access.

Keep up with the healthy habits at home, you are doing great...and don't worry about the ocassional snafu. There will always be another class party, sleepover, birthday, or get together that will throw a wrench in your healtful decisions...roll with it and smile.

One meal at Mcdonalds won't hurt her or make her insist on going there all the time. All you have to tell her is that this is a very special treat and that she will be having lunch that includes a toy in it. I think you should allow her to have it---otherwise she will feel very left out and could get teased by the other kids.

I don't think it would be a big deal to let her eat it once. It is bound to happen with her friends over the years, but you don't have to start doing it at home. More likey, she will be hurt and upset that she doesn't get to enjoy it when the rest of her friends are.

I think one meal will not harm her. By the way, we don't go to McDonald's either. My children have had it though probably less than ten times in their whole lives (oldest is 11.) If I even suggest it (to check to see how my kids are feeling about it) they all say, "Yuck, we don't like that place."

If you give her good eating habits and teach her how great good food tastes, she will have very little interest in Mc Donalds and will wonder why her friends think it tastes good.

Good luck!

I think its ok to have it since its a special occasion. Everything in moderation is my motto!

I haven't read the other responses, so I bet this is a repeat. If you had a religious or philosophical objection to some part of the meal (didn't eat meat, etc) then by all means, skip it. But if it's just that it's junky food, then I think you should let her have it. It's once. My kids never eat at McD's either, and once my mother took my daughter. She asked a couple times if we could go back, and I said "that food is yucky and unhealthy and we don't eat there." We once were really pressed and we took our kids to Burger King. Even with the happy meal toys, they never asked to go back. I think if you make a mountain out of a molehill it will backfire. Let her eat it, and if she wants to go again, explain why you don't eat there. She's old enough to understand the concept of a "special treat."

I don't think you can shelter her for life. Kids learn that things are situational. I would think that if you explained it that 'we don't eat this kind of food but...' We hardly ever patronize fast food places, but I do not worry the few times that we do. When we go to a sit down restaurants my kids know not to order the deep fried french fries but I will bake them in the oven at home.

I think if you make it too taboo she may want it even more. You might be surprised and she may not even like the taste of the food.

You can't change the menu for this party, but work on making a change for future parties. Our school does not allow fast food at all. If I choose to eat lunch with my son, I cannot bring McDonald's, Wendy's, etc. into the school. I actually like this policy. The menu for our class parties is rolled up turkey, cubed cheese, grapes, crackers, cookies, and apple juice. It's the same for every party. Different parents take turns bringing in different things.

I second Kathy D's comments! I cannot believe they are bringing McDonald's into the school. Parents should protest. I would not let my daughter have McDonald's, she can bring her own food and maybe a little toy from home. I have been in similar positions, when my daughter's teachers would bring in Krispy Kreme or other donuts for special activities she knew she was not allowed to have them. Yes, it would only be her and 1 or 2 other kids (one of whom had diabetes) who could not partake, but I made sure she knew why. And I don't think you should hide it from her, that will only make her want it more later. Let her know it exists, but that it's not healthy and your family doesn't eat it.

THis is one meal. The more you say NO you can't have that cultural icon the more by 3rd 4th she will want it. By the time she is in high school it's all she will eat it when she is out of your sight.
We do McD's every once in a while, maybe once a year. My kids don't really ike it, they'd rather eat Quizno's or Subway.

What a great opportunity to begin teaching your daughter about moderation. No, McDonalds is NOT a special treat; it is just what we are having on this day at school. After that, it is ok for you to tell her that you are continuing with your "more healthy food choices" for your family. We don't eat McDs either, but we do go in for those mint shakes they have in March. It's all about helping our children make choices. Peace, B.

We have food allergies in our family. I see your "dilemma" as no different.
Think about what you would do if she absolutely could not eat wheat, for instance, or soy, or whatever. What would you do? Maybe create your own happy meal for her with food she can eat and a special toy of her own inside. She would get a special "happy meal" you bring.

My daughter used to have to take medications on field trips. A teacher had to bring it. I always made sure which teacher was responsible. No confusions that way.

These things happen all the time, and with the huge increase in gluten and dairy sensitivities happening in this country and in Europe (maybe around the world?) more and more parents are having to deal with food issues and schools and field trips. So - you at least are not alone - regardless of the reason behind it.

Now... all that said.. if it was just my moral objection to eating at fast-food chains, I think I would make an exception for a child eating there on a field trip. She'll still understand as she grows up. I had that same objection about McDonalds, and my family did not go there. BUT, my older daughter loved being taken there by other relatives. The younger daughter, on the other hand, although she ate there when there was no choice, like on field trips or birthday parties, she grew up to pursue a career in nutrition!

Of course, neither eat there now. Like I said we have food allergies.

I think it is completely WRONG for the school to feed your child that garbage - if people want to feed their kids that on their own time, that is their right but certainly a poor decision. The school is teaching kids that fun things like parties should be celebrated with unhealthy food. I think you should discuss this with the school and give them some healthy (and fun) suggestions (red and white fruit salad, heart shaped - use a cookie cutter - sandwiches, etc). I don't think I would make a big deal of it with DD - it is not her poor decision making causing the issue.

If it were me I'd probably just let her do it but I *would* take steps to get involved in the planning of these parties at school to avoid these situations in the future.

IMHO children should not be taught that fast food is "special" or a reward. It's pretty disgusting when you think about it (and it sounds like you have already thought about it quite a bit - good for you).

I think you have an excellent opportunity here for a teachable moment. You can tell your child that there are lots of food choices: healthy, organic, only what comes in cans, sugary, fast food, macrobiotic, vegan, etc. Put it in age-appropriate words. Tell her she will see commercials (even if you don't watch TV, she'll see signs on buses, and in stores) that advertise all kinds of food, and that make the food look appealing. But you don't rely on advertising, you read labels and take nutrition into consideration. Tell her why your family doesn't go to fast food restaurants, and why you like cooking her meals at home where you can control the ingredients that will make up your family's dinner. But tell her that it's ok to enjoy another type of food once in a while. Are you ever going to allow her to go to a sleepover or a friend's house? She will be offered sugary cereal or Spaghettios at some point, most likely. It's not very realistic to think that you can supply alternative food for her forever. So instead, teach her how to politely say "thank you" and eat what's offered without preaching or appearing snobby ("we don't eat that junk because it's full of chemicals", for example). Teach her that it's the overall healthy lifestyle she chooses that is important. Don't call the food you object to "junk" or "bad", just refer to it as a less healthy option that should not be what she eats most often. Cook with her, or include her in shopping for healthy pure ingredients. That will be a much more powerful lesson than excluding her from a school party.

If she is not going to participate in the meal then keep her home. Otherwise let her eat McDonalds and enjoy it then when it comes up again just tell her the food is better at such and such place.

To single her out and not let her participate is also going to give the kids fodder to tease her.

She is going to sit there looking at their food and can start feeling bad about herself, wondering why she is being left out and what is wrong with her. You'll tell her, of course, that the food isn't very good and that you don't really like it but she'll still internalize those feelings about herself.

I don't eat McDonalds either, ever. Just the thought of it makes me sick. However, this is a special day and I know from experience that being singled out in class makes you resent the reason you are being singled out. Let your daughter have the happy meal. It's one time. Let her know it's a special treat and that this is not something she will be having again anytime soon. Who knows, she might not even like it!

I think you could go either way! since she is not the only one who isnt participating (it would be nice for the allergic kid to have company) you could send in an alternative treat, whole wheat bread and jam cut in heart shapes for instance. If you decide to let her eat it just this once she will understand it is a special treat not for always!

You have two options. You can know that this is a ONE TIME very special treat with her classmates. Or, you can give her something else and have her nurture her compassionate side by telling her that it would be nice if the child with allergies didn't have to eat his 'home' lunch alone and that it might make him/her feel better if he had someone to eat a home lunch with.

I think either way is a win-win situation and there is no 'wrong' answer. But, I personally, would just let her have a Happy Meal.

I guess I would go with the flow. We lived next to a convenience store when raising our children, and they saw every kind of food junk (or is it junk food?) coming out of that store, with the wrappers on our lawn as reminders. I thought it might be a problem, but we simply explained to our children that we used the store for emergencies only, and the daily dose of candy was not going to happen. It still amazes me that the store and the always present reminder of junk never was a problem, but I chalk it up to our children understanding those were our family rules.

This is where you have to step in and be the good parent that you are. I would allow her to eat the McDonald's, but then also start teaching her how to limit the bad food in her diet. I.e. it is ok to drink a soda, just not 3 a day. I really do not think that by your daughter eating Mcd's once that she will completely just beg for it. It is hard enough to fit in as it is I would not single your daughter out, but teach her more about healthy choices.

Let her get the happy meal.

Are you afraid she's going to ask for one all the time after eating it once? Just say NO. You aren't going to lose control over what you choose to feed your child just because ONE time she had a special treat at school.

Think of it like donuts or cookies. They get these on special days at my kids preschool. Do I get requests for donuts every morning now? No. And if I did, would I have to give in and get it? No.

My daughter doesnt eat meat and carries a lunch every day. if questioned she will explain her own ideas on it. I say pack your daughter a very special lunch, with your very own kids toy of your choosing. This way she will not feel left out.

Thats the way mcdonalds gets the kids anyways, the toys, its certainly NOT the food.

I don't think that one meal is going to ruin her.
If they have the option go with the nuggets, less garbage in them than the "burgers"

You are not going to be able to keep her from the things you do not believe in forever. She will be exposed to many things in her life that you do not like or want your children to be a part of. That is where you need to decide what really matters to you and your family. Only you can decide the battles you want to fight, how important they are and put things into perspective. This is where the hard parenting comes in. When you meet these challenges and are opposed then you have to stick by your decision. If your child feels left out, and becomes upset you have to expect that to happen. When you choose to be different (which is your right) you have to accept this is going to happen. Nothing wrong with your decision but to expect others to concede is not going to happen. I on the other hand have no problem with cupcakes for birthdays, happy meals once in a while, and candy for Halloween. I think everything in moderation, I find the children who are not allowed these things only become more focused on them and want them more. It's the whole forbidden fruit thing. I don't think it is a big deal, and when they ask again your choice is to say no, or maybe just on occasion. I don't get the whole happy meal problem, if they want Burger King or McDonalds, they are going to eat it even if there isn't a toy. Bigger problems down the road in my opinion. One other option is McDonalds does have healthier choices is it possible you can request that?

Hi, I would say let her go to school and enjoy her happy meal! My kids do not eat McDonalds at all, not even once in a while but it is a special day and I wouldn't mind it as long as it was this time only.Why would you keep your daughter home and keep her from such a special day at school just for that. I think its selfish. unless she will have serious health issues don't make her, her own meal, she will feel left out!

We don't eat at McDonalds (anymore). We did eat there a handful (like 5 or 6) of times when my boys were younger... but now that I have 3 who are of the age to want to eat there, we just don't. I think there are better options out there - just like you.

Now, that said - I think I'd let it slide. You are the one who controls what happens in your house, and unless you are vegetarian or have other dietary reasons to not eat the food, I'd say one meal won't hurt.

My kids know that if they eat at McDonalds, then they get a toy. They like the french fries and the nuggets. But, since WE never eat there, it isn't an issue in our house. We just drive on to someplace else and I expect them to say "Thank You" if they get a meal out and not complain about the location.

In the future, she will probably go to birthday parties that are at a McDonalds... you'll have to decide if you want her to attend or not. As the kids grow, we as parents have to decide how much control we will continue to have, and let them live a little as well.

Good luck,
jessica

I haven't read most of the responses, but as a preschool teacher, I think that the teachers and administration are making a horrible choice. Valentines day can be celebrated without a lot of junk food and sugar (as all holidays can). Is this school the best choice for your child and future children? I would express your opinion to the teacher and administration. I would also take a look at how other holidays are celebrated and know that there are other options for preschool out there. I would also take a closer look at the snack menu.

We are teaching our children habits for life. I agree that this one day is not going to harm her in the long run, but it is a very strange lunch for a pre k class to eat. Yuk!

Most of the moms act like McDonald's is the devil incarnate. With so many kids in this country overweight and obese are only super healthy moms on this website? First of all, fast food is not healthy, but neither is any "treat" really. Do all you moms that "hate" McDonald's also not allow any chips, juice, cookies, cakes, ect ever?? Second, milk is not all that healthy. After a certain age, milk can have detrimental effects, especially too much of it. I have seen the apples they serve btw, they don't look all that great. Also, not all the kids are going to like the nuggets or the burger as the main choice. My son does not. He only likes the fries and a cup of water. He if fit and healthy and eats a healthy, mostly organic diet. If they were serving fast food at the school every day then you need to step in. But seriously...its one day. Its your job as a parent to explain to the child that its a special occasion and then don't buy it!

My MIL felt the same way as you about fast food & eating healthy. My husband & twin SIL's didn't have candy, cakes, ice cream, not even granola bars or any fast food. The moment they got older and out from under moms watchful eye they gorged themselves with sweets & fast food.

I could have a hot healthy meal for my husband sitting at the dinner table when he gets home & the 1st thing he always does is go into the pantry to get sweets. He eats so aweful all the time.

My SIL's both have eating disorders to the point that my one SIL when she is stressed (which is always) will drive from one 7 eleven to the next to get pints of ice cream, she will sit in her car & gorge, then she drives to dunkin doughnuts & will eat 1/2 a dozen doughnuts.

All 3 of them buy big bags of candy & eat the entire bag in one sitting. They get the greasiest foods at all the fast food places too.

I always thank my MIL for 'creating a monster'. She admits that she was a bit over the top. Just some 'food for thought', lol

Let her have the meal. Just let her know it is for a special party treat and at that time only. Even if it were for every valentines day..once a year for the rest of her life it is not a big deal. She may not even like it. I just picture a sweet little girl left out on opening the special meal with all her friends. That is potentially more damaging than the once a year tiny little meal. If I was the food allergy momma I would have the school buy the box and toy and put a special treat my child could eat in the box so they were not left out. Being a kid is hard. Being left out or singled out is worse. Please remember this as they get older. Best wishes whichever way you choose.

We used to eat McDonalds occasionally, but completely stopped after watching the documentary film "Food, Inc." so I completely understand where you're coming from. We're not big on fast food anyway, but whoa! That movie put a halt to it completely. As a parent, I would definitely take this up with the head of the school or school district, just on the principle alone of it being very unhealthy for children (hello, antibiotics/hormones/disgusting practice of spraying cheap beef w/ ammonia to keep E Coli at bay/etc.). That being said, I think I would either A) keep my child home from school that day (esp. since it is only preschool, not elementary) or B) allow her to eat the meal at school that day so that she doesn't feel left out. Good luck in your decision!

Ugh, I hate McDonald's. My children have never been, but that's because we're vegetarians and even the fries are made with meat. So I totally feel your pain. If this happened at my child's school, I would absolutely pack an extra meal, because we don't eat meat.

That being said, in your case, I think I would probably let her eat the meal if I were you. I wouldn't address it with her AT ALL. Don't say it's a special treat. If they are bringing it in, she probably won't even associate the restaurant with the food, especially since you've never been there, so that should reduce the begging. She probably won't even realize that it's much different than anything else she eats.

We rarely go to fast food places at all. We've been to Burger King once (only slightly better than McD's because there are veg options), because some friends we were with wanted to go one time. My son had his first chocolate milk there, because he saw his friends get one and wanted to try it. He didn't even finish it and has never asked for another. We bought him their equivalent of a Happy Meal. He has never asked to go back. I didn't make a big deal of it, so it wasn't a big deal.

But I would mention to the school that you're not pleased with this decision and suggest some alternatives for future events.

I would use this opportunity to teach your child self restraint. Dont make it where she tells the other kids "My mom says this food is yucky and not good for you", but just let her know you don't do McDonalds and state the factual reasons to her. Make her a special lunch that day of your own homemade burger and put it in a similar box. OR ask McD's if you could buy a happy meal box from them and pack her homemade lunch in it so she has a happy meal too.

Hi there! I haven't ready any of the other answers :) but here's my 2 cents. I hate McDonalds too. I don't blame you a bit. I rarely let my kids eat it. I do let them but it is very rare. Like once in the past 3 months. But, it is a special day, and special day's are for treats. And this would be such a treat for her. Explain and talk with her about the fact that this is a special one time treat and that she knows the family doesn't eat at fast food places because their food is bad for you if you eat it all the time, but this one time won't hurt her. I wouldn't think after having it one time, she would be asking all the time for it. I hope not. But I say let her this one time so she can join in with the whole class party. She may surprise you and not like it at all! She'll say mommies burgers and fries are better! Good luck!

Why not make your own fun meal in a box w/ a little toy? Make the meal carrier decoration yourself or as a family craft. Sneak in a little toy or stickers you pick up from a party store etc.

Pack her a meal and take her out to get a special prize afterwards....explain it to her before hand. You can even buy just the prize from the happy meal if you wanted her to have the same one. That is disappointing that the school would do that.

I heard a teacher say that they eat big red floats in class for Valentine's Day and it made me wonder what I would do if it happened in my daughter's class since I don't let them have soda.

I agree with Jane's response, with one addition. I think you should let her have the meal they are ordering, but perhaps send in something else for her to eat in the event she doesn't like the food. If you normally send her in with a PB & J and some fruit or whatever for her lunch, then send in just a PB & J, and TELL her that if she doesn't like what is served, then she can eat her PB & J instead.

She will understand that you guys don't eat there and even if she does ask you to go there later on, you can always say no. I found with my kids, that it is less what they see their friends are doing (at that age anyway) and more what they understand is the 'norm' at home or in our family. And unless your daughter eats anything and everything (which if she is accustomed to eating more healthy food and you only order burgers in better restaurants or make them at home), she is not likely to like the food anyway. My daughter refused to eat any "fast food" except ChikFilA nuggets until she was around 6. My son was the same. And they are still pickier than the average kid about their fast food. They eat good quality food at home (no offense to anyone, but no frozen nuggets are served here, and my kids would prefer to not eat them if they are served somewhere else) and when we eat out. So they actually know what "good" food tastes like.
Your daughter may very well be the same. She may not like the food. So I would tell her in advance, (poison her mind, if you want to look at it that way, lol) that she might not like how it tastes- not everyone does- and that she doesn't have to eat it if she doesn't want to. She will have her PB&J (or whatever) as a backup so she won't go hungry. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Hey, how about keeping her home that day?? If you are so concerned about it, that is an option. You will probably need to start coaching her as to the reasons why you have elected to NOT eat that kind of food. "I love you so much I only want you to have food that is healthy" or something like that. The other option is to let her have it once and then explain to her that it may seem tasty and fun, but sometimes what seems the tastiest is also the worst food for our bodies. She will probably get a tummy ache from it and not like it! You will have to come up with a family policy on this issue, because it will happen again and again. good luck

Wow, lots of responses! Not surprising. One comment I have is for those that recommend that your daughter be allowed to have this “special treat” with her friends at school. If your family doesn’t agree with fast food and including it your diet calling it a “special treat” isn’t helping. Maybe use the words “Once in while food” or “sometimes food”. There is a campaign that teaches kids about “Go” foods, “slow” foods and “whoa” foods to help them understands that we should have foods that nourish our bodies and go slow and limit foods that don’t. If we call junk foods “special treats” we are teaching kids exactly that – we all want special treats, right!
Another suggestion if you’re feeling brave is to use this opportunity to talk not only to the teacher, but to the administration. Ask if your school or district has a wellness policy that might address “junk foods” in the school (many do). Schools are a place where kids learn and we should be not only teaching them about healthy eating, buy modeling it also. If there is not wellness policy in the school ask the teacher if you can help work on one for the class or even for the whole school. In the classroom it could be a learning project for the kids and if the should adapts the policy you’ll know that for the rest of the time your kids are at the school they will be “junk food” free. Note – many wellness policies have exemptions for celebrations, but you could request that at celebration where “junk foods” are going to be served “healthy options” must also be available. Obviously this is a topic many are drawn to – maybe a group of parents from the school would have a more powerful voice.

If you feed her burger and fries anyways then I really don't think it is that much of a leap. Get the nuggets with the apple dippers as it is a healthier option. As far as the begging to go, it may happen (once or twice) but if you say no, chances are that would stop pretty quickly.

Build it up as a treat so she knows it is just on extra special school days. Ask her too if she wants it. She may be like my 6 year old who cares naught about what other kids have during lunch and prefers the healthy stuff she gets. Maybe give your dd her favorite healthier version

Gosh maybe I am being lazy but what about keeping her home and baking healthy treats and making it a mommy and daughter baking party? This way when she goes back to school and learns about the "happy meal deal" she will have a great story of her own special day!! I mean, maybe it's a too quick and easy solution but while she is still in the early grades (pre-k) maybe it is still an option. I just think it will be a lot easier than worrying about the possibilities that concern you.

I think it's pretty irresponsible of the preschool to push McDonald's on the kids! Seriously -to each his or her own, and I grew up eating it all the time, but I haven't in a year. I don't let my kids eat fast food ground beef (or any I can't identify as 100% natural, grass-fed and organic) either. If this was at one of their schools, I would just let them have it this once -(and voice my displeasure with the school) -although my 4 year old wouldn't eat the burger at this point anyway. I think the best way around this is to do one of three things in regard to the food:

a) Have them replace the burger with chicken nuggets -although they're disgusting as well. I realize this doesn't get away from the meal/toy in a box idea, but as gross as the chicken is, it's not *quite* as gross (to me) as the beef. Some would beg to differ.

b) Give the teacher a sandwich or a burger you've made from home and tell them to substitute it for the McD's one in the box. Explain to your daughter that the reason you don't want her eating the FF burger is that they put really nasty things into the meat and it's unhealthy and gross (Google "pink slime" -read the NY Times article and perhaps give a copy to the preschool teachers.)

c) Look at it as a learning experience! No one dies from eating one McD's burger. I AM a big proponent of my kids trying just about everything and getting exposure to things -even if I sometimes don't like it or intend for them to ever have it again. Having said that -no one in my family has eaten FF ground beef since reading the pink slime article a year ago -so do what you will. Just an FYI for folks -the pink slime is in all the school's lunch meat as well.

I think you're a bit overly concerned about the Happy Meal concept. Letting her have one Happy Meal isn't going to start a chain reaction where your lives are thrown into disarray due to her constantly begging for them. I think most kids can be scared off the food with a description of eating spare cow parts that are slept off a bloody slaughterhouse floor and doused in ammonia. I'm a big believer in kids knowing exactly where their food comes from (as we all should) -mine have always known that those cute cows and pigs are their burgers and bacon.

I agree with what most other moms said, let her have it this one day. Tell her beforehand that you won't be getting it for her any other time. This is just the start. There are going to be many parties, at school and away from school, where you have to deal with this. Kids are mean and will tease if anything is different about someone. Let her have stuff at parties, and eat healthy all other times!

You can arrange a box without fries.
Meat is meat and Mc. is OK once in while.
What is the problem with a little toy once in a
while?
'PS when I go to Mc, I like the burger that has
only mushrooms and swiss cheese and yogurt for
afters. No fries of course.

I would order the other meal and slip some kind of prize in it for her so she doesn't feel left out or just let her have the meal itself--as she gets older peer pressure is such that she will want some of these things. As for later begging for more Happy Meals--I wouldn't worry so much about it. Tell her that the party was a special occassion and we don't go there. If you don't give in later, she won't develop a pattern of tantrumming over such things. You don't want to set up a forbidden pleasure phenomenon.

Pack her her own special meal and put in a small inexpensive toy for her as a surprise! Your daughter will be fine. She will be exposed to kids eating McDonalds or doing things differently than her own family does all the time while growing up. (About the toy: You can even drive through a McDonalds drive thru to see what the toy is at this time and you can try to get something similar)

Then simply notify the school that your LO is to be removed from the group while the rest are eating. It's no different than a child being raised as a Jehovah's Witness or Muslim, or another religious background not partipating in a Christmas or Easter celebration with the rest of the group.

It's a one time treat at a speical occasion. It's not an everyday thing. Let her have it and enjoy a special day with her friends.
It's not going to open a can or worms. She asks at home you tell her no, it was a special occasion treat and leave it at that.
Our kids understand that MCDs is an occasional treat. They don't beg for it at all.

I thought that in California schools there was a policy in place about bringing food in from outside vendors?
Food has to be packed at home by a parent for the individual student, or they eat the food in the cafeteria - noone is allowed to bring food for the whole class at our school.
And considering that McD is not everyones favorite, it seems pretty strange.
I'd bring it up to the school, and don't feel like you are doing anything bad at all.
For the matter of the toy - If that was the idea behind the whole V day party, they could certainly ask McD to just do the packaging and the toy by itself, and skip the food.
But do say how you feel, it's important to always speak your mind.

We are an allergy family so there are many times in class that my daughter either has to have a substitute or can't participate. Usually the teacher and I make substitutions and work together on it. But I don't care for Mc Donald's either so my kids rarely eat Mc Donalds.

I would just make your daughter her own "Happy Meal" from home. Get a special bag, put in a special toy...make it special for her. Maybe throw in a snack that she wouldn't normally get...a small piece of candy or a cookie. Explain to your daughter that the other kids will be getting Mc Donalds and that's okay for them, but your family chooses to eat healthy and that Mc Donald's is not a healthy option. Then highly emphasize how special her "Happy Meal" is. I do stuff like this often for my 3 yo who has allergies.

I tend to agree that letting her have it this once doesn't have to open the can of worms (sorry honey we don't eat there, but we can go somewhere fun too...) so I would probably just let her take part in the special day. However, another option would be to make her a special boxed lunch to take -- find out online what the toy is at McD right now, and get something similar. Even put it in a special package, but include healthy food you'd prefer her to eat.

I agree with one other mom that said: if you don't want her to have the meal, then DON'T send her to school on that that day. she would not understand why she is the only one not haveing the special meal, If I was in your shoes. I would let her have it this oen time. Don't let her sit there and be the only one left out. Its not Fair

My daughters are vegetarian, there are ALWAYS things going on at school that they can't have. I always do something special for them on that day. Pizza usually is a great choice (only home made of course).

Please don't "let it slide" even once. It's a bad habit to get into. "oh it's just once...oh it's a birthday...oh it's wednesday". This is the FIRST of many hard decisions around your child and their school you willhave to make. Stick with it.

B.
Family Success Coach

Updated

My daughters are vegetarian, there are ALWAYS things going on at school that they can't have. I always do something special for them on that day. Pizza usually is a great choice (only home made of course).

Please don't "let it slide" even once. It's a bad habit to get into. "oh it's just once...oh it's a birthday...oh it's wednesday". This is the FIRST of many hard decisions around your child and their school you willhave to make. Stick with it.

B.
Family Success Coach

I assume she is your oldest? i was just like you w/ #1. let me tell you-she is going to figure it out w/ or w/o the party. She will have play dates w/ friends that eat at Mc D's. I would allow it, and then she may not even realize where it is from. She might think it's a special thing for V day. Having unhealthy food once a year.....not so bad.

I am like you, I want my daughter to eat healthful foods and not want to eat "junk food". I was listening to a parenting podcast the other day that had a nutritionist as a guest. The nutritionist's opinion was that you should focus on the overall quality of meals and let your kids have "junk" every so often, or they will really want it and see it as something special. She even recommended having sugary cereals in the house (which we don't do, but our daughter is only 2) and it could be like a once a week or once every two weeks type thing. Her opinion was to teach your child healthy, balanced eating, and if they ate healthy 90% of the time and had an occasional "treat", that was more realistic.

Ok, bringing in McDonald's seems kind of odd to me, but even though you don't provide that to your child, would it be so horrible to just allow her to participate this one day? You say you do allow her to eat burgers and fries, so it's not the actual foods you have a problem with... and I'm sure one meal from McDonalds won't harm her. If it did, well I'd be really, really dead. Keep providing the good choices for her, and let her have this treat with her class. In the grand scheme, there are far greater things to worry about than your child having her first McDonalds meal.