Grandma and McDonalds

Blech, I hate fast food, but especially for kids. However, I would have no problem with this. You might just suggest what you'd like her to have for her meal. There are fruit and milk choices, and some better choices there now. (I think...) This is a special thing for them. I would skip the once every two months, and actually let it be a grandma thing, so it's more special. I don't think you have to worry about cravings. Make it a "grandma time" situation, and she will know it only happens with her.

My in laws live 30 minutes away, and we are lucky if they decide to see my son every 4 months. That's even with us offering to go out there a lot :( I hope you understand how lucky you are.

let her do it, just discuss with her what they get. mcDs has done well in recent years in putting healthier selections on their menus.
she sounds like an awesome grandma!
:) khairete
S.

Oh my gosh, let her do this!!!! My mother never babysat a day in my children's lives (both in their twenties now). Felt she was done. Thank heaven you have a mother who does this. Just pile up the Barbies somewhere and send them to me if you don't want them. I had sons and truthfully when I was little I NEVER GOT A BARBIE. Waaagh. Really.

All will be fine. We made it this far....

One Happy Meal a week with Granny isn't going to hurt her

At first I misread and though you said every day for the last four weeks...I was over here jumping up and down in my chair.

Okay, so I just erased THAT long rant.

Once a week? I wish my MIL would take my children out once a week. ;)

I hate McD's for kids, but like others I want to note -- you are so privileged and blessed to have an MIL who is doing this with your child. Your MIL is healthy enough to pick up your child and active enough to drive your child places. Your MIL wants to spend time with your child one-on-one and lives close enough to do so. If you read posts on here regularly about MILs and grandparents you know that that is just not the case in so many families.

I guess I'd just say -- is this a battle worth fighting and a reason to offend or upset grandma? If it escalates and she's taking your child out more often and it's always McDonald's then yes, it's a bigger issue. But this is only the past four weeks and only once a week, right now.

Also, for some perspective: My mom died when my daughter had just turned six so yes, I'd give anything for my mom to be able to take my kid out for junk once in a while. And my MIL lives overseas and is in very poor health herself so even when we visit she can't do any one-on-one treats with her granddaughter.

For your MIL's sake, not your kid's, you might check whether MIL (is she a widow? Lives alone? Fixed income?) is eating McD's and other junk a lot on her own and not just with your child. Have your husband drop in and do a bit of looking around at her home to see if she's got healthy food in the fridge and cabinets (be discreet!). If she's just taking your child there because MIL has heard it's a good treat (and because MIL probably knows you don't really allow it much so it's an extra treat), that's one thing. But if you and your husband think MIL may be eating poorly herself the rest of the time, that is something to address because...you want her around for a LONG time to come.

If you really can't get McD's out of your mind, get some coupons for other kid-friendly places and offer them to MIL--diners or delis with healthier options. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, and I would not approach it as "Do this because McD's is junk." Instead, I'd just approach it as, "I know you like to take Child out sometimes and she really likes This Restaurant lately so you might want to use these for lunch there this week or next. Have fun!"

One other thing. My brother (50s, no kids, loves to spoil his only niece) will whisk my daughter off when we visit him and say "I need some gas in the car, I'll take her with me for the ride" which I know is code for "I am taking her to sneak either donuts or ice cream hahahahaha!" I watch what she eats carefully at home, but I let that slide because we don't see him often and it's their fun little thing to do and they like to pretend they're sly. Oh, and they both know that I know but we all pretend I don't. (My daughter tells me everything anyway!) If we lived near him and saw him more frequently, yeah, I'd nip it, but since it's rare, I let it go.

She's picking them up only once a week so I guess that means they're getting Mickey D's once a week? I don't think that's bad at all. On Fridays, my son gets to choose what he eats for dinner and usually he picks Mickey D's. Ironically, he doesn't eat much of hte food as he tends to like healthier fare better (I know, I thank my lucky stars!!) but he loves the toys. Anyway, my point is, as long as your children's diet is healthy the other days, once a week splurges aren't going to hurt them.

I think it's fine. My kids both ate McDonald's when they were kids, and they hate it now (at 15 and 24) so your kids probalby won't want it forever.

Frankly, I have made quite a few meals for my kids that had more fat and calories in them than a happy meal does. While I'm not a fan of it, McDonald's isn't ALL bad.

Do you realize how much energy a pre-schooler has & how exausted Grandma could get ? If she is not used to playing with a small child, it could wear her out. Does your McD have a play area ? I am confessing !! I am that grandma.. The only difference is that I have been taking care of my grandson since he was a few weeks old. That would be 5 days a week & full time on vacations & school teacher duty days. My grandson is now 7 & loves the fish bites over the nuggets. I still love the fries. That is "our" place to go because I let him play. If your daughter is healthy & loves these times Grandma leave it alone. Pick your battles, because if this is your only problem with your MIL, count your blessings.

J.:

I wish my parents lived close enough to do this!! I wish my mother in law was alive to do this...

I would let them enjoy their time with their grandmother! When you drive by and she asks to stop...tell her that's your fun time with Grandma!

Good luck!

I don't believe that lunch once a week at McDonald's is going to ruin an otherwise healthy diet. If your kids ask to go there at other times, I would just say no, not today - that's your special treat with Grandma. My daughter gets McD's about once a week too and it has not made her an "addict" or caused her to refuse other, healthier foods at home or at school. She gets the Happy Meal and has milk with it and eats the apples more so than the fries. Everything in moderation! It's probably easier for your MIL too to get lunch there and it can be their special thing together.

I absolutely HATE fast food places, so *I* don't take my kids there. But if my mom wanted to take my kids there once a week and spend some special time with them, I would overlook it and let it go. Have a chat with your MIL about making good choices at McD's (like getting apples occasionally instead of fries, etc), but don't forbid it altogether. Maybe on the days they go to McD's, you can make it up at home with a more healthy meal for dinner...

You're lucky to have such a lovely, hands on MIL.

Honestly, I find fast food repulsive... and still, I would let it go. Unless they were going more than once a week. Grandma may find it pleasant to get to spend time with your little one, let LO run her ya-yas off in the play area, etc.

It's become *their* thing.

My son recently went out to the nickel arcade with his godparents, who are not parents themselves. He and his godfather ended up playing some shooting games, which my husband and I do not allow when we go. You know, I just decided that it was great that Kiddo had such a good time with two people who loved him up and offered him a great time-- we just let it go.

As long as it wasn't every day, I think it's important to let other trusted people develop their own relationships and traditions with my son. He needs this. So long as his general health and safety needs are met (and he's not being exposed to something really terrible-- and trusted people don't usually do that) we try to take it all with a grain of salt and be glad he has people who love him enough to want to do things with him.

(PS-- I would only talk to Grandma if your daughter was having a hard time accepting your 'no' when you pass McDs or is having a difficult time eating the healthy food you serve. That would need to be addressed, however, putting it in the context of 'that's where you go with Grandma' really does work for most kids. And kids will whine or nag. Don't know a kid who doesn't at some time or another.)

Let it go and you can quit taking her once every 2 months.

Let McDonald's be their deal..

Maybe you could think of another place in your town that has a playscape and serves better choices of food.

Here in town we have an upscale grocery store, with a cafe and a great play area..

A once a week McD's trip with grandma sounds like a special time.

When I was a kid, we didn't have any fast food places in my tiny hometown, but we did have a local cafe. Grandma would take us there and we got to have a cookie and a small glass of soda. The cafe owner would give us a lollipop before we left.

Really fond memories. :-) In case you're concerned about it turning into a lifetime of bad choices, my siblings and I are not overweight.

From a grandma's perspective....

I would talk to her, and tell her that you really appreciate the way she wants to make their time together special...

But... when it comes to choosing what food she wants in a happy meal, there are healthier choices.... the apple slices instead of fries, and the milk instead of a soda..... Ask grandma to order that, instead.

Once a week isn't going to hurt anyhing.

Your McD's gives out barbies!?!?! I haven't seen those in years!

We never eat at McDonalds or any other fast food place because I don't care for their business practices, and I've seen enough documentaries to know what is actually IN a McDonald's hamburger or fries. YUCK!

That being said, I would still let it go. Tell your child that McDonald's is her special grandma place and leave it at that. At her age it shouldn't be a big deal.

My daughter used to LOVE fast food and her grandma took her there every time she visited because my daughter would beg for it (because we would never take her). When she was older she watched some of the documentaries on fast food with me and that cured her of it! Now she refuses to eat McDonalds or Burger King and if Grandma asks where she wants to go she asks for a healthier option. So ultimately your child will grow up to be more like you, but let her have this special grandma time now.

What a great treat they get with Grandma! We never, never, never went to McD's but the grandparents took them. We loved it b/c we didn't have to suffer through the bad food or be there. It was great! And now they hate McD's, so no harm done :)

Grandma's rules apply here. You can make it Grandma's thing instead of your's. The kids will remember to wait for Grandma if that's where she wants to go with them. It's her thing. Let her enjoy it!

I think once a week is fine. Let it go.

At first I was going to say "let her do it" because it's fun and it's bonding time for them, as well as being inexpensive and easy for your MIL regarding obtaining and "prepping" the food and cleaning up. It's built in entertainment to boot.

However, once a week for fast food in my house is extremely frequent. My children only get it maybe MAYBE twice a year. I can't even say they get it as frequently as once a month or every other month.

The fact that you're asking about this means you're uncomfortable with the frequency, right? Not the fact that it's McD's. And you don't want your child to think it's a valid food option when it's actually just a food-like treat.

I think I'd talk to your MIL gently about limiting the McD's to once a month and letting her know you'd be happy to provide snacks and lunches to make things easier for her.

If my kids & I had the privilege of my MIL picking them up once a week & spending time with them & they happened to go to Mc D's, I would let it go. If it bothers you that much, them maybe you could cut out your McD trips & make up for it during the week with healthy foods. As for it becoming a habit, tell your child , it is something special , they get to do with Grandma.

It is your child , though & you need to decide how bad this really bothers you.

ABSOLUTELY be concerned. Please read the NY Times article from last Sunday's magazine section - I believe it is called 'Salt, Sugar, Fat'. Eating the amount of salt and sugar in these foods will essentially reprogram her taste buds so she does not enjoy (and hence rejects) real/healthy food. And yes once a week is more than often enough.

She picks her up once a week and has lunch at McDs...just that one time a week? I would let it go provided she doesn't have her eating a Big Mac, Large fry, and Large soda. Be sure she's getting reasonable portions and juice or milk (not soda) and let it ride.

My answer would be different if it were every day.

You could try asking her to make sure they substitute apples ONLY (2 packages of apples and no fries) and make sure they do milk to try to keep it on the healthier side if it makes you feel better. I only very rarely let my kiddos have french fries of their own with their fast food kids' meals. I'll let them have 3-4 of mine, but they usually (90% of the time) are only allowed the apples from theirs.

If she's already doing apples and milk as opposed to fries and a soda, then don't worry about it. She'll be fine. :)

Don't say anything. If you are concerned it's too much fast food let it be their thing, stop taking her to McD's yourself by telling her that's her and Grandma's thing now, and reminding her when you go some place else and not there. She'll probably treasure McD's even more and the time she spends with Grandma.

I don't think it's so terrible. Obviously, you know the food isn't as healthy as can be, but it's also not going to harm her if she's only having it once a week. Plus, a small order of fries plus apples really isn't that unhealthy. Even a plain hamburger really isn't that bad for you.

I get very frustrated by the excessive amount of talk about how terrible certain foods are for you. None of us think McDonald's is health food and most of us know that we can't feed it to our kids every day. But I also know that having it once in awhile, or even once a week, isn't as bad as people make it out to be.

Make sure her diet is well balanced throughout the rest of the week and you're fine.

Once a week would probably be okay with me. If you don't want her having soda, ask MIL to get her some other beverage. When my oldest was preschool aged, I would take her to McDonalds for lunch on a weekend day as a treat relatively often. I did have to talk to my MIL, who occasionally took my daughter for the weekend, when I realized she was taking her there for probably 3 meals over the weekend. "But she likes it," MIL would say, "And she wants the little toys." I informed MIL that one visit during the weekend was all that was acceptable, and that McD's allowed you to buy the toys that didn't come in your meal, so if she wanted to get DD a complete set of the toys, she could buy them.

To be completely honest, this would bother me too. I don't give my kids fast food EVER! My MIL on the other hand always gives my kids "junk" when she has them...and I just say thank you and bite my tounge. I appreciate my MIL immensely as well and that's why I would never say anything. My youngest daughter actually admitted to not wanting to go to her vegan aunt's house, and wanting to go to Grammy's house because she gives them "yummy" food.

I don't think McDonalds lunch once a week is a big deal. Of course she will crave the fries - just like most of us do. It's the perfect combination of salt, sugar from the simple carbohydrates and fat from frying.

I say let them do it. Ask your MIL to get milk instead of soda or whatever. It's not a big deal.

But, even in preschool, it's not too early to start talking to your kids about food - what is good for you and what is not and why.

My kids get McDonalds once a week. That's one meal out of every 21 meals. It really is a treat.

McDonalds once a week is a treat for both- so I'd let it go....however, it would be nice if she'd mention it and perhaps you may want to go over the options with both and see that make healthier choices (milk vs soda, and such)

Grandmas are a funny breed. My mother does nothing but give my kids "junk" when she has them. It's funny because she never let us eat the way she let's them eat.

Take for instance a day last week. Mind you, I was in labor, so it was a special day, but my mother took the kids out for "rainbow pancakes," i.e. pancakes with M&ms in them. Then, on the way home, they picked up DONUTS!

My mom gives them an ice cream cone after lunch, carmels, etc.

I just ignore it. Grandmother's are a strange breed, like I said, and they should be allowed to spoil their grandkids if they want. Fries once a week never killed anyone. Hell, I lived on McD's fries and ice cream cones when I was in HS.

I wouldn't worry about a once a week lunch, but you might ask Grandma to make sure the kid gets apple wedges and milk sometimes instead of just fries and nuggets.

The only reason we used to go to McDonalds was for the play area. I would worry about it, but wouldn't take her for fast food yourself unless you have to. Now that my kids are older they dislike fast food and never want to go. I even had to tell them that they shouldn't say that if they are on a play date and they go there with another family. I told them to be polite. lol

I think it's fine to eat there. I know, I'm in the minority.

If you'd rather she let them go to another place that has something a bit healthier then just ask her if she'd take them there sometimes too.

I like going to McDonald's because the kids can run amok in a general and be safe. The food is just one of the side benefits.

Count your MIL blessings.

With health and nutrition being in the forefront these days and with the knowledge and realization of how truly bad fries and fastfood burgers are for us. I'd really try to give Grandma the literature to read and let her know you are trying to raise an un-food addicted kid.
I'm a Grandma, and I'd listen.

Once a week is fine. It's more of a treat. See if you can find out what she's eating. They have yogurt parfaits, etc.

You can either let it go as their special time, or you can give her the information about what's really in fast and processed food. There are lots of false rumors out there so check them on snopes.com but things like mechanically separated meat and heavy antibiotics in animals are some things to research. Also pediatrician info on sodium and especially high sugar content in a lot of foods. "The Doctors" just had a whole segment on that - how much sugar we eat in flour, soda, etc.

I'm a health fanatic and feed my kids healthfully at most times, but like you, I'll do the occasional drive-thru in or allow birthday binges, grandparents visits go off track with junk food, etc. Honesty, for once a week....I'd let it go. I wouldn't like it, but I'd probably allow it. :(

If you think it wouldn't be stepping on her toes (but it's kind of weird she doesn't tell you?), you could ask her to give them a snack you prepare before-hand so they can skip the fries-or at least be so full they don't finish them. Sort of a, "Thank you SO much for taking ____ to have fun, I really appreciate it a lot. Don't hate me, but would you mind feeding him/her this in the car on the way there so he/she doesn't eat all the fries every week, sorry to be uptight and thanks again so much for spending this fun time together" type thing.....

Or else just let it go.

I find these responses sooooo odd. because i really think if you said, my family eats mcD once a week because "I" don't feel like cookin.. or something then they would be all on you about how unhealthy it is.

I love the suggestion to pick healthy food.from the menu,
and since mom is doing you a favor and this is probably easier for her, and it isn't like this is going to happen when preschool is out for the summer right?? then i probably wouldn't say anything,

BUT as the mom i would feel the need to step it up on the other days and make sure the rest of the week was healthier.

Four days a week for four weeks...yes, too much!! But once a week, I wouldn't be too concerned.

Yes, they will crave the super tasty, really bad for you food...but you can just keep on driving and tell your little one that is a special place for you and grandma to go...

She probably leaves it out because she knows you are trying to be healthy...

My grandson stays with me overnight one night a week and we always eat at McDonald's. It's a treat that he immensely enjoys. He knows it's something that we do and even tho he may ask for McDonalds with his parents he accepts their no.

If her diet is good the rest of the time, one lunch a week isn't going to hurt.

McDonald's should not even be classified as "food". It's junk for your body...filled with chemicals & crazy additives. Children should not even be taught that this is a treat! People think I'm crazy but the real crazy ones in my opinion are the parents who fill their growing kids bodies with processed "foods".... I don't really care about being uptight. Good luck!!!

Some fries once a week won't hurt her and it won't become an addiction. Please let your MIL have this little "treat" with your daughter.