Our friend's son was diagnosed with scarlet fever yesterday. He was vomiting in a restaurant
on Friday and has been on antibiotics ft tor less than 24 hours. Neither the parents or the daughter are sick, but I still asked that they not attend my daughter's birthday party today. The mom called me last night, told me the daugther was crying and hung up on me! She wouldn't answer my call but I did talk to her husband. As the host to a party with 15 kids and 2 pregnant guests I think it is too risky for them to attend. I even told the dad that our daughters can have a special party another time. What would you mamas do? Am I overreacting?
EDIT: Ugh. When I found out that he had scarlet fever, the dad was talking to my husband. I texted the dad while they were talking, and uninvited them - all in good humor - I said "as much as I love you guys, you are hereby uninvited! There are too many kids and pregnant women to risk an infection - we can celebrate later!" We all have a weird sense of humor, and this came across all wrong, even though the dad is TOTALLY ok with my decision, since she wouldn't talk to me personally. I had no idea she would react to my text like that - she even posted on my evite that she won't attend because she has been UNINVITED (yes, all caps). Sigh - I really don't want drama, nor do I want scarlet fever.
the child has scarlet fever! and i'm sorry but if he was just diagnosed yesterday, it's very possible that other family members will be next. which means, they would be contagious NOW. i agree with the other responder, they should have been calling to decline before you had to call to ask them not to come. congrats for standing up to them. you're not wrong.
No you're not overreacting. Scarlet fever is a VERY dangerous illness (a fairly massive strep infection) that can cause (amongst other things) permanent heart damage. $1 will get you $20 that the vomiting was caused by his body reacting to a super high fever and the stress of purely and dimply having to move around when he's that ill.
I'm furious with these people for not having their son in bed taking care of him, but instead are galavanting around out in public risking his health and everyone else around him.
They should have called and said that they would not be coming due to illness. Scarlet Fever is VERY contagious and even on antibiotics that family needs to stay at home till all symptoms are gone (another one of them could be caring it but don't know it or their body will fight it off with out much of a sign BUT others then can get it if they have it).
I would have done the same thing, way to stand up for yourself and the party guests. A special party is nice if you want to do it, if this other family decides to be difficult over this that is their issue because you are in the right here.
You are NOT overreacting. You are absolutely right. Scarlet fever isn't the huge problem it used to be but it still has side-effects down the road (mainly the weakening of the optical nerve) that can cause problems. They should have declined attending before you had to say anything about it. Especially if you are going to have pregnant guests. Some people just don't get it.
Don't sweat their guilt trip behavior. Just arrange for a special day out for their kids to do with your kids as a second celebration once he's feeling better.
Although I totally agree with them not attending (and, really, THEY should have called and uninvited themselves), maybe the way you handled delivering the message was a bit unfeeling. Your sense of humor aside (and gotta say, I kinda have a similar weird sense of humor, so I get it), how would you have felt if your son was really sick, you're worried about him, worried your other child will also get sick, etc. and you get this lighthearted, jokey text (not even a personal phone call) about being uninvited? Probably a better way would have been a phone call to 1) check up on the child and show your concern for his illness 2) discuss why you can't have them at the party and 3) let them know that you'd love to celebrate with them another time when the son gets better. I can see how the other mother's feelings were really hurt, not because of you not wanting them at the party but because of the way you uninvited them. I know I would be hurt. So you get an A+ for keeping them from infecting your other guests, but a D for compassion. ;-)
I would have done the same thing. Scalett fever is very contagious and while the other members of the family are not sick they are still portential carriers. You did the right thing.
that is so irresponsible. i don't understand people who do not think about others' well-being. you did not overreact. i would have done the same thing.
She's making a fool of herself. Don't give it another thought, it is her behavior not yours that is wrong. Everyone on that evite list will know why you uninvited her and they will be glad. She has made herself a scourge for all the parents on that list, and I feel sorry for the consequences that will have for her child. I personally would really hesitate to send my kid to her in the future because she has shown a real lack of judgement.
If you had not done it, every other parent would be mad at YOU! You did the only responsible thing and it is a real shame she did not do it herself.
Happy birthday party!
Um no...I am SURE that their doctor told them to limit their contact with people. It is completely inappropriate to expect to be at the party.
However, I chalk it up to the fact that we experience so few really serious diseases these days. I just don't think the parents really understand what can happen if someone contracts something like scarlet fever. It is rare now, but used to be a very common cause of death in children.
No, you are not overreacting, you are SMART! I'm so sorry the other mom isn't being rational! Your first priority is protecting your family. Wish there were more moms like you out there. :)
R.
Perhaps you shouldn't have used the word 'uninvited', but they should have uninvited themselves. You were absolutely right to protect your other guests.
I was at a family party last summer. Found out that a nephew was physically sick, but that they were still coming to the party. I called them and asked them to stay home since everyone else was already there. There were 30 people including kids from 1y - 11y. They said that they were still coming. I told them Okay, if you walk in this door, me and my kids are walking out. The response was fine, you aren't the boss of us. So 20m later they walked in and we walked out. My in-laws said nothing, which is another story.... i found out that 2 days later 3 of the kids at the party were now sick. My kids weren't.
M.
I had 11 students come down with scarlet fever after a sleep over birthday party. It is highly contagious!! Your friends need to stay home. If she is a true friend, she will get over it. Her feelings are probably hurt... maybe a follow-up call telling her that you really would love to have her there, but can;t put the other guests at risk would reassure her of your friendship.
