Scared of Halloween

MONSTER SPRAY... and maybe practicing the yell that ALL monsters are scared of - you know, ooga ooga booga .

That worked for my son.

S.

Sorry to hear about you little girl. My son is also 3 1/2 and it's a very hard age to learn about whats real and what is not. They also seem to question what's mean and what's nice. I would suggest that you just be honest with her. Tell her what is real and what is pretend. If she doesn't seem to understand use an example like a puppet or playing house. I don't agree that you should use "monster spray" or something made up, bottom line it's dishonest and doesn't create trust with you child.
I wouldn't give too much info but use tact with discussing the facts . I would validate her fears but at the same time don't fuss over them to make them even larger. Things appear quite bigger to them while they are so little so give some extra comfort during this time as well.
Too bad that it is about imposable to protect you children from bad images at this time of the year. It really makes me upset that most public places so insensitive to us that have young ones. Not everyone likes that kind of stuff.
Best Regards,
C.

Have you had the tv on while she is around? What about the newspaper or weekly advertisements? All these media sources have scary scenes that a 3 year old may find disturbing. Bill boards, restaurant menus, if we look we will see that we are bombarded. This is part of media creeping into our lives-
When trying to comfort her, tell her in terms she will understand that these monsters are not real. They are pretend.
Take her to fall festivals that will not have any scary faces up so she can associate this time of year with fun activities, not just scary ones
M.

My daughter will be four next month, and she is the same way. She wants nothing to do with anyone or anything in a mask of any kind. She hides under the table at Chuck E Cheese and cries if her brothers put on masks to try to scare her. She went to play with the neighbor's daughter and the older brother answered the door in his costume. She nearly had an apoplexy! It took forever to calm her down. I am not sure you can convince them there isn't anything to be afraid of. I just try to reassure her and stay close when I think there might be an issue. I think they just have to grow out of it. I am not much help, but at least you know you are not alone!

Hmmm...what exactly is scaring her? Sounds? Shadows? Maybe you could stay with her for a bit one night and see what she's afraid of. That way, when you hear/see it, you could help her find out what it is. You may want to allow her to "arm" herself with a flashlight. Relabel some room or linen spray as "Monster Blaster" and "blast" them away. Maybe run a fan on low so she doesn't hear so many sounds. Perhaps, she can pick out her own night-light. If you're religious, maybe a favorite religious photo by her bedside that will remind her that she's in a safe place. Maybe even a photo of you and her or family photo to help her think of good things. Maybe you could also do some role-play, where you may find out what types of things Monsters are afraid of: maybe she might say something funny or make a funny face to "scare" away the Monster. This could also be a good way to talk about why Monsters/people act scary to others (because they are insecure and afraid of things, too.)

I am no expert on this and don't have a lot of experience with it, since my kids aren't afraid of Monsters. I tried asking them if Monsters are scary and why, and my 2-year old said they were scary and that they say, "Rarrrr!" but only as she ran off and scared her brother. But some of these we've tried for other scary things and some I've read about.

I wish you all the best, because it does affect us when something affects our kids. Take care!

I believe it's a love/hate relationship at that age and beyond. I bought a children's book about monsters and although our young one still walks away from what she determines is a scary cartoon or TV show, she is now a bit more drawn to the modestly scary "monsters" of Halloween. The book was an instant hit and helped alot.
A friend of mine fixed up a bottle of "monster spray" for her little one. It worked so well that I told her she should market it! Each night before bed they sprayed the room for monsters. It was a hoot!
Oh, and as I tuck my little one into bed I repeat that it's sleepy-time and time to float away to dreamland and dream of (fill in the magical things here). I want to think that wards off nightmares a little.
C. S.

O.,

I am so sorry to hear how frightened your daughter is, and I'm so glad you are concerned.

I know many people believe Halloween is a harmless holiday, but its roots are actually in some very un-Christian, evil practices. I don't want to offend anyone, and I know there are lots of opinions on this, even among Christians, but I believe there is very good reason not to celebrate Halloween. Below is a link to some good information on it; you could also just Google various phrases about Halloween to gather more information.

Some good friends of mine have chosen not to participate in any type of Halloween activity, but she always takes her boys to the store to buy as much and any kind of candy they want on that day. She said, "if the holiday is really just about candy, then we can get all the candy we want right here. We don't have to be a part of something we don't believe in, and we don't have to deprive our children in the meantime." I think that is a great approach.

This is a very difficult area to nagivate, but this verse from the Bible comes to mind: "What fellowship does light have with darkness?"

God bless you and your daughter as you work with her in this area!

http://www.jeremiahproject.com/culture/halloween.html

We had a burglary at the house this summer and my son was afraid of everything - including halloween - I had him "help" me decorate a spook house (not too spooky) for and he realizes it's all not real and is MUCH MUCH better. My younger one is still slightly afraid though...

I had the same exact problem with my son until he turned 6.

I always dreaded this time of year. And Halloween decorations in the stores go out so early.

I always acted nonchalant (sp?) and never gave any of it any attention. I'd never say, "Are you okay??! Are you okay??", when we'd see something scary. I didn't want him to get any negative reinforcements from me.

I would try to avoid stores where I knew decorations would be. I even went some back roads to avoid decorations on my street.
On Halloween, we went to McDonald's for dinner and they passed out candy there. He got to choose which restaurant he wanted to go to so it sort of made Halloween his "special" day.
This year he all of a sudden wanted to get a costume and he's actually looking forward to it. ???????

Mind you, I still don't do decorations or let him see anything scary. We go to the Pumpkin Patch at our church & it's a fun atmosphere.

When our children are so scared like this, there is no fun in Halloween. Hang in there~
C.

Go and get a Halloween book - age appropriate - and read it to her. Explain that Halloween is a FUN time, and it only is scary when you get MUCH older, and if you WANT it to be scary! Maybe you can dress up as a bum, a mechanic, or something NON scary when you read her the book.

Well.. it's a scary holiday... There's a book called "killing monsters"... or you could try to explain that monsters are not real... have her draw what she's afraid of and then... tear it up and throw it out...

Reassure her that you will be there always to take care of her... Monsters are afraid of children and Mommies!!!

Has she seen Monster's inc.???? It's a cool movie but ends well.

Good Luck!

J.

I watched something on Nanny 911 or Supernanny saying that if your child is afraid of "monsters" to get a spray bottle and fill it with scented water. Spray in the childs room (under their bed, in the closet, etc....) before they go to bed (or when they wake up) and say "monsters be gone" and that seems to help.... ?? Just a suggestion. :)