Scared Momneeds Advice

Updated on November 09, 2010
C.G. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
8 answers

some Kids these day wow the kids in my neighborhood are all cussing smoking or even tryen to have s e x at age of seven im so scared for when my kids start school please tell me its not that bad everywhere i want my kids to have friends go to a public school but how do you keep them from acting the same im worried if i dont let her play with them im punishing her and keeping her isolated from the world what do you say to keep them your sweet little angels. im not saying these kids are all bad i know these kids are good kids to i like a lot of them but their behavior !!!! i need parenting tips on how to get your kid to listen im overwhelmed with anxiety with everything now what if this or what if that, when they go on car rides or anytime they are not around me im stressed the whole time. im thinking about parenting classes i wish i lived in the 50's sometimes

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So What Happened?

no no no my kids are not having sex kids around my neighborhood my kid starts school next yr im just saying the kids around here act like this tahnks everyone im really considering parenting classes

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Two good words to be familiar with when kids are exposed to inappropriate behaviors : OPEN COMMUNICATION.
Talk to then often and honestly about the issues that concern you, on their level.
My son is 7 and while there is a "range" of worldliness in kids out there...I don't feel it's as bad as you think.

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B.W.

answers from Rochester on

If you're proactive to your concerns, your child will not see these new things as interesting because you've already discussed it. My kids were told about drugs and the harmful effects before D.A.R.E.. They knew sex and all the "mystery" surrounding it before puberty. They know drinking and driving are deadly. They were all forwarned about bad language and not in Mom's house. You have to set what you will allow and not allow and then not budge. You set the example for them to follow and they will...kicking and screaming all the way, but they'll follow. Be firm and fair and kids will be compliant. Be honest and forthright and they'll listen - grudgingly. It will sink in if you tell them their friends have to follow your rules when in your house or they're not welcome. Decide what you want and stay the course.

It does work.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Saginaw on

You need to talk to your children about your expectations of them. Let them know that it is not right for them to be having sex and smoking at that age. Be sure to be involved in there lives, and even start them in after school activities. The children that are doing those things that early in life don't have parents involved or really don't care what they do. Set limits and punish if they do somthing wrong. I know you cannot always be there to help them with there descisions but you can be a good influance to what they do. Make sure they know they can talk to you about anything and everything... commucation is a big deal... If they are worried about peer pressure or somthing 'bad' happening make sure they feel comfortable talking to you about it. Let them know that they arent going to get in trouble because they are around ppl doing bad things but if they do it then they will.

1 mom found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

You can't prevent it and you can't keep them sheltered. Period. Don't try. You'll lose that battle.

All you can do is educate, educate, educate. (I'm assuming your kids are teens, based on the sex comment, I hope?). Then just extend a little trust.
If that trust is violated, there are consequences.
If your kids are old enough to be in adult situations, then you need to treat them as adults and arm them with the information they need to be able to handle it.

1 mom found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

It IS possible to raise excellent kids who make good choices even when all around them kids and parents are screwing up. I know that since I've done it. The single greatest influence on your kids is you. Insitll them right from the start with the self-respect and self-value they need to keep on the straight and narrow, and it will happen.

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

just sit them down with a firm but calm hand and just tell them what YOU expect of them and what is or is not acceptable.

a lot of the kids act that way for several reason's maybe the guardians really dont' care or maybe due to the economy, both parents are working 2 jobs just to make ends meet so they have no dicipline at home. for what ever reason and it still doesnt' make it right YOU still have conrtol over your kids, let your kids know it's ok to play with them-if it is ok, but when your kids see them doing something they know is wrong, if they play along, instead of coming home then they will be in just as much if not more trouble with YOU. this may help them learn to use their judgement.

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T.P.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

Honestly, if that was my neighborhood, I would seriously try to move if at all possible. Kids in our neighborhood just don't act like that at all. I can really understand why you are so anxious. It is not normal for 7 year-olds to be trying to have sex. That means they have seen it somewhere, either in person or on TV, etc. They will be curious about bodies, but they don't know about sex unless they are taught. If moving is not possible, my personal actions would be to not allow my child to play unsupervised with them. If you can make your house a fun place to be and the kids want to play there, where you can watch their behavior, that's one thing. I wouldn't allow my child to go to their homes without me, even at 7, due to the behavior you are seeing. I wouldn't let them go anywhere without me unless I really knew the family and trust that their kids are well-behaved and well-supervised. Just my opinion. Hang in there!

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O.S.

answers from Birmingham on

If these kids are cussing, acting sexual or just talking about it ... those are not what I call "good kids" and I would not let my child play with them AT ALL unless I was within reach. Get your child involved in a church group, an after school sport, etc., so other friendships are formed. Ditch this group fast.

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