Scared

It sounds like he was very traumatized from that ride and has become sensitive to other things as well. I would talk to a counselor and get to the bottom of it.
L.

Hi Bonnie, our daughter when she was younger when through something very similar. Although it didn't result from the rides, she was often afraid of everything. Even when we went to Disney should wouldn't go into dark rides, etc. It took time for her to get over it, but what helped her the most was us letting her choose what she wanted to do and not do for a while. Rainforest used to freak her out to. Moose at Bugaboo Creak Restaurant as well. We would talk about where we were going first, explain what might there, let her decide if it was ok with her, tell her she could leave if she wanted, etc. Sounds like a lot of work I know, but it empowered her to know she had some control. Something funny we would say to her as well was.. have you ever heard of anyone being hurt by a a stuffed snake in a restaurant, was it ever on the news? It kind of put things into perspective for her. We would let her walk by things and choose whether she wanted to get closer to them, touch them (things in Rainforest), but only if she wanted. We never told her it was silly to be scared or toughen up, etc. We validated it, comforted her and found ways to walk her through it as much as we could.
We would talk about people who did these things all the time and were fine.... Bobby down the street goes to Rainforest all the time and nothing bad has happened to him, right? Grammie and Grampy travel over the bridge all the time to see us, and they are always fine, right? If he is up for it ask him what he is afraid will happen and talk him through the what ifs. Probably right now he is thinking ok my parents let me go on a really scary ride, can I trust they won't let that happen again. Something we all do. So again letting him be in the driver seat and reassuring him that you will be there to protect him might help

She was even afraid of not so scary stories at school like James and the Giant Peach, etc. So we worked with the school and they were a big help.

Bottom line is for us letting our daughter have some control so that they weren't surprised. I went on Everest this past March and that ride was scary. So I can see why he does not want that feeling to ever come back again. Good news is my daughter did almost every ride this time around and at the age of 12 now has started to watch some (mild) scary movies which she would have never done 3 years ago. I still panic when she is going to do something that I think might scare her, but she is like "MOM, its fine"..hahah. Because she knows she has control she now goes back to conquer those things that scared her when she was younger (like certain rides at Disney).

We also went for two sessions with a counselor because she was afraid to sleep in her own bed for a little while. Not sure how much that helped, but it gave her a 3rd party to reassure her that things would be ok.

He will be great, because I can tell just by your writing for help that you love and support him and that will be the key to solving it.

Hi Bonnie,
I wonder if pediatric EMDR might help? It is used with people who have experienced trauma and it helps to integrate the trauma so you can get past it. It is a body oriented therapy. I do not know anyone personally to recommend for your son, but I am sure if you google it, you will come up with some resources. You can also call NASW (National Association of Social Workers) for a referral to a child therapist who might be able to help. Good Luck!
Warmly,
E.

Bonnie,

I think you just may have to give it some time. My son went through the same thing, but he was a little younger. We were at Disney and we thought the kids would love to see a show that was in 3d - it wasn't even a ride. But it was very loud and we had to leave after only a few minutes. After that my son had real trouble with any noise above normal talking. Forget music and fireworks on the 4th of July, but it was so bad that we would have to stand outside at a restaurant while waiting because he couldn't take the numbers being called over the loudspeaker. Eventually as he got older he started to relax little by little. First he didn't mind music, then staying in the restaurant was fine and now he can actually watch fireworks without earplugs and covering his ears.

It may take some time, but he should become more comfortable in those situations as long as you don't push him or force him to participate until he is ready on his own.

Hope that helps!
A.

we freaked our kid out with space mountain.. trying to get her not to be scared, we make a joke out of it - I know being scared isn't funny, but if you put a lighter tone on it maybe it will lighten their feelings about it. Talk about the ride and giggle, say "wasn't that so silly that we all got scared on that ride" and go on from there.. if he's not believing it, then don't try again, but if he engages, then keep with it and maybe his fear will stop regarding the ride, and regarding everything else .. "I was laughing so hard because it was so dark, bumpy etc...". something to that effect. When we mention space mountain, we all look at my daughter and scream a loud scream and it's over. she's not afraid of stuff - although she won't go on that ride again! -, but I don't blame her, neither will I!! Validate his feelings about the ride, it may have been scary for adults.. the Tea Cups at Disney scared me they went so fast! Good luck

Hi Bonnie,
Sorry to hear that your son got into this terrible stage of being scared. One thing I believe that could help is (when it's a good moment and relaxing) have some blank papers and colored pencils and ask your son to play a game with you.

Then ask him to draw a pictures of the scariest thing that he could imagine. You can do the same but of course you draw something funny. When he does that, then try to create a comedy/funny story with that scary figure (whatever it could be) and in that story or the game use that scary figure as being so scared of your son and tries to run away from your son. This makes him having the power over that scary image/picture and makes him to believe that he can be scarier than anything else himself and gives him more confident.

I hope this could help a little. I am a mother of two and I've been there.
Best of luck,
A.

A similar thing happened to my daughter - she is TERRIFIED of Rainforest Cafe, btw...too noisy, too much going on. My advice would be to just hug your son, tell him you love him, and if something scares him, he doesn't need to do it/go there until he's ready. If he never wants to go on a rollercoaster, or even a small ride - or to the RFC again, that's really okay - it's not the end of the world. :) Accepting that his fears are real to HIM, if not to you, is very important in keeping his trust - and in him feeling secure with you. If he knows you will honor his feelings...he will feel that you believe in him, and this may give him the strength to work through his fears by himself, on his own...and in doing so, feel a GREAT sense of accomplishment and self-esteem.

One of the worst things we can say to our children, as their parents, is: "What's the matter with you? That's not scary!". No, to us, it's not - but to THEM - for whatever reason - it may be. I have let my daughter deal with these issues on her own terms, on her own timeline; and this has definately paid off for her. She can control things in her world, and feel secure that I won't force an issue that will freak her out. She's very secure, and usually makes pretty smart decisions.

Good Luck!

Poor kid, and poor mom! I think you need to address his fears at the source. Whether that be the roller coaster itself, or perhaps a bigger fear of death. At 6 you only have a little life experience to understand your world and fears. Perhaps some nice long talks with mommy and daddy would help lessen his fears. Also, books about fear, or roller coasters, or even those bigger topics would help your son realize that it's ok to be scared, he's not alone, and that it's also ok to talk about it and move on.

Try making an "adventure" out of overcoming his fears. Have small well timed obstacles for him to overcome... if you make it really fun such as using a treasure map and each night you have to go searching for the next clue... and then when the obstacles have been overcome he gets the treasure at the end. I'd put him in the scary situations slowly though... and he will probably need a lot of reassurrance. Get your whole family involved. If each person has a role and he knows there are others around him to help keep him safe it should help. You could either be pirates looking for lost treasure or you could make it a bit goofy and be a bunch of monkies looking for your bananas.
Think through the things that scare him and include small things to help him get through... such as a pair of sunglasses that make him invisible from something he is afraid of.

We unwittingly terrorized our poor son when he was around 8, taking him on the Blue Streak at Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH. I had grown up loving this old-time roller coaster and my husband loves roller coasters, too. Although our son had never really been to an amusement park before (not high on our priority lists), we thought our son would love it...NOT!

Within the first five rides, we went on the Blue Streak thinking it was tame compared to a lot of the newer ones. It was the biggest in the world at one point in time, gives a thorough alley-oop to your stomach, but is rougher than the newer ones of today.

From that point on, our son would not trust our statements that the ensuing ride would be “fun”. Bless his little heart, and to his credit, he studied each ride on his own before deciding if it was to be an adventure he wanted to experience. We then decided to focus on the younger kids’ rides which looked much more tame and palatable to him. To this day, at 11 years old, he still doesn't partake of roller coasters. But he's beginning to at least be intrigued with the possibility of them.

I would honor your child's fear and not make him do it if he doesn't want to. It's important that he learn to trust his own feelings on stuff like fear. And it's a good exercise in not teaching him to succumb to peer-pressure or parental pressure. My husband and I now trade off watching him while the other enjoys the roller coaster. If he ever decides to ride one, it is his decision.

As a parent, I love roller coasters but am convinced that one's upbringing can still be complete without riding one. If I had to choose between a child who observed and was in tune with his fears, versus one who blindly followed, regardless of fear, I'd choose the former! Knowing he can TRUST your love and protection, regardless of whether or not he chooses to go on those kinds of rides, is more important now.

Hugs and comfort and humor (not hurtful humor though) are probably the best salve for your son. He'll go when he's ready....if that ever comes.