When I take my kids places where there may be line ups I have always made my kids wait in line. If my kids did not wish to wait in line, then they simply didn't get to do whatever it was they were lined up for. A pet peeve of mine are the people who save a place in line for their kids and allow their kids to run off and do something else instead of wait in line. You know, when you have stood in line with your kids for 1/2 hour, and you are finally near the front of the line. You see one person ahead of you, and suddenly their six kids appear from nowhere! Maybe I wouldn't have gotten in line in the first place had I known it was that much longer than it had appeared. I have a friend who does this. I stopped going places with her because of it. I get why people do it. Standing in line isn't fun. Kids get restless. It is more efficient to have someone hold a spot in line. But, is it fair to everyone else who actually waited in line? Does this happen where you go? Do you do this yourself? Is this considered proper etiquette now?
Sherry-I'm talking about when they are waiting to go on a ride or see a show or something like that. When the kids appear in front of them my kids have to wait yet another whole turn to ride or wait for the next show. It wouldn't bother me if it was just a line to pay admission or something similar.
I can understand if the kids leave the line to use the washroom and return. Fair enough. But to go on other rides? Not fair.
Jo W.-I get the special needs and that fair is not always equal. It is just so frustrating when it happens to you! The kids are hot and tired, you are hot and tired, you have been trying to keep them happy for 1/2 hour in line, then suddenly, when the end is in sight, and you think it is finally your turn a whole group of kids jumps into line in front of you saying "the roller coaster was soo much fun! Wheee!" Hard not to get a little judgy at that moment!
I also like the idea of my children learning that if they don't put in the effort (waiting in line), then they don't get the reward. I guess for that reason I wouldn't do it even it it were considered proper etiquette. Nobody did this when I was a kid. We were all taught from kindergarten on "no cutting in line!"
I get you Marda, and I am usually pretty easygoing, and not one to comment when this happens, but yes, it does make me unhappy. It was the rule in the past, no cutting, but it does seem to have changed.
I didn't lose a friend, I just don't go places with her where those situations would arise. It wasn't fair to my kids to see her kids do whatever they wanted while they had to wait like everyone else (well, most everyone).
Also, if my kids don't behave in line I just take them out and they suffer the consequences.
It depends on the circumstances:
Would I hold a spot in line for a ride for my kids while they ran to the bathroom? Yes
Would I hold it for them while they ran to get a snack? Maybe
Would I hold it for them while they went on other rides with shorter lines? Nope
I do it, I've seen people do it, and it's not something I have ever really thought about. I've done it when they need to go to the bathroom. I've done it when I could see a line getting a little bigger then I like and they are on another ride/activity, and frankly I'm done and want to get it over with. I've seen people do it for the same reason. Again, it's never phased me.
Is it rude? I don't really know I've never thought of it.
You bet I do that!
I have 3 kids. My daughter, who is 2, is awful in line! She's 2!! She wants to squirm, run around, play...so I tell my husband (or I go) to take her off and let her run around. Usually the other two tag along. Why not run around instead of standing in line?
I think it's just fine and if people don't like it...no skin off my nose! Those same people that complain about people holding a place in line would probably also complain about a child stuck in line squirming and making a racket.
You just can't win. :)
It's too bad that you lost a friend.
L.
I think it is poor etiquette and it pisses me off when it happens to me.
It is like the person thinks they are entitled to hold a spot for a group of people and the overall attitude about it makes me angry.
I've had it happen and I've made some comments to those who do it as well.
Like you, I would not associate with someone who does this because I believe it is in poor taste and disrespectful of everyone else in the line.
The way I see it.... My time is just as valuable as yours.
I try not to judge. In general I make my kids wait. There have been times when my younger son doesn't want to wait. Considering he has autism spectrum it is best for all not to argue the point so if it is an option I let one of my older kids walk him around.
It doesn't happen often and it really hasn't happened in a long time. Still he has a younger sister and that balance to try to be fair is hard to find. I mean can you imagine never getting to go on any ride or do anything just because your big brother is in a mood. Keeping him in line would drive the rest of the line away quickly and really if I pushed it I would almost bet everyone in front of us would go, GO NOW!! Get in front of us... please!
Even though I know it is rare that my situation is what is going on, well if having Andy has taught me anything, I don't always know what is going on so I don't judge and I let it go.
I suggest that this wouldn't be a problem for you if you would just assume that this is happening when you get in line. Stop expecting that everyone thinks as you do. Accept that some parents will allow their children to do something else while they wait in line. You cannot change this situation. It is what it is. There isn't a rule that says either you or the other parent is right or wrong.
Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?
This has happened with me and I've not even thought it was a problem. Usually my daughter and, now, my grandkids wait in line with me but I've seen what you've described. We don't usually wait in 30 minute lines because I don't want to stand that long. lol
After your SWH: I'm going to wax philosophical here. I'm 70 and do remember that rule. I don't remember a rule against saving a place for someone else. This is an example of how, as children, we think in black and white. Rules seemed simple. As we mature we become more aware of the complexity of life and, to be happy, we have to let go of the idea that a rule will cover everything.
One of the reasons raising children now is more difficult is because we are focusing more on teaching them to think for themselves while still trying to balance life with consideration for others. We're no longer focused so much on rules and etiquette.
I suggest that so many of us are unhappy because life just isn't simple any more. We have to see a bigger picture. Also, the world has become a bigger more complicated place than it was and rules just do not cover every contingency.
The only lines we ever wait in for that long are at amusement parks, and since we rarely go (maybe once a year?) it's never been an issue for me. Of course my kids had to stay with me regardless because I certainly wouldn't let them run around unsupervised. Once they were teenagers and old enough to go off on their own it again wasn't an issue, because we were all doing our own thing. At that point, we were done standing in long lines, unless we really, REALLY wanted to ride that ride! Oh, and at Disneyland we utilize the fast passes, that helps a lot.
ETA: And yes. I hold a place for people who have had kids need to go to the bathroom...they come back. The people directly behind them can see the child doing the potty dance!
at movies? Nope. They do NOT stand in line with me to buy tickets. They DO wait in line with me when we go to the popcorn stand - they order and step aside.
Sherri:
Sorry - but I can be **THIS** mom...when we are at a fair where there are multiple rides and the line for one is extremely long? Yep. I wait in line - while they go ride other rides.
I don't let it bother me when a mom does this for her kids. I can understand your frustration at having to wait just that much longer. I get it. We do NOT do this at places like Six Flags - where this is an actual cordoned off line...I ONLY do it at local places that have people just "standing there".
While my kids are older - 10 and 13 - I don't do this for five or six kids - I do it for my two and maybe if we have a friend with us. Proper etiquette? No. Not really. And when it comes to lines at amusement parks, etc. my kids are made to wait. that's life. At local venues where they might have limited time or whatever the case may be - I'm fine with standing there while my kids and their dad go ride another ride. People behind me see it. They see it's two kids and not five or six.
I highly doubt that it happens frequently enough in one day or visit that it would really add to your wait time considerably. If you pay $100 to get into a fun park, do you want to spend hours in line, or having fun?
I see both sides, but I choose not to be concerned about any of it. If I got upset about every little thing that others do that I don't approve of, I'll tell you what - I'd be a very miserable person!
LOL...
I always thought the people who hire day laborers from HomeDepot (and other places) to stand in line for them at Disneyland were BRILLIANT.
But then, I come from a pre-FastPass & Pre BabeInArms3rd era.
Oooooooooh... Its only 4.5 hours for StarWars!
:D
I feel the same way about that as I do about the people who drive up the side of the road and then try to "cut in" when there's a long line of cars. I get mad, but then what can you do? It's not something I can control, and getting angry about it won't really change anything.
I just figure karma will come back around and bite them in the butt eventually. Probably their dentist will keep them waiting in the lobby for an hour, so it all works out in the end!
I have done it. I tell the person behind me I am holding spots. I sometimes have my son and my best friends four children. If the line is long I will say go run off some energy. No one has ever said a word about it. If they did....I would not care anyway.
I don't see anything wrong w/ it. In fact, I think it's a great idea. If we're at a place for the kids to have fun, why not let them have as much fun as possible?
But then, I'm not one to try to turn every moment into a lesson or learning experience .....
Because my husband works crazy hours, it always seems like I'm alone with the kids when we're out and about. As such, there's no running off to play, for them, while I wait in line. We wait together. I guess I wonder why people's kids can't amuse themselves for a short while in line? Is the idea of standing and talking with one's family really THAT awful?? If so, can they not strike up a conversation with the people next to them in line? It wouldn't occur to me to send my kids off somewhere while I waited in line for them. We tend to like each other, and don't mind having a few extra minutes to talk, I guess.
Would it annoy me if other people did it? I don't know, I guess the idea is annoying in and of itself, sure. But I have long since accepted that I have no control over what other people do, and it's not really worth making myself crazy thinking about it.
Not sure if it is proper etiquette or not but what difference does it make if a mom lets her kids leave the line unless she is making them all pay separately your wait is no longer or shorter. Now having said that I hate shopping anywhere that a parent lets the little ones out of the cart to wander the isles or get under a server at a restaurant. Drives me nuts.
I don't think one person holding a place for 6 is very fair to the other people waiting in line. But if the majority of your group is waiting in line and one or two people join you, then I am not that irritated. There may be a needed trip to the bathroom or a child that has meltdowns in line or someone that has trouble standing on their feet for long periods of time.
For me, it depends on where we are. In an amuzement park, DEFINITELY! You wanna ride? You wait the time.
At the movies? Nope, just have one person wait to get tickets for the group, now the snack bar is a different story! Went with the inlaws this weekend, there were 6 of us. 3 adults and 3 kids, one bill. When the worker looked at me, I told her the whole order for my 3. My inlaws (the other 3) each told her their order separately, even tho they all wanted basically the same thing. So instead of being able to grab 3 popcorns at one time, she had to make 3 trips. Instead of being able to 'pour' 2 sodas at one time, she had to do them separate. We were standing there for over 10 mins!
If it is somewhere like a check out line, I don't get upset if they don't bring items back, but if 5 kids bring back 2+ items each, then yeah, I get a bit peeved.
I agree with you. I think its rude and it does a disservice to the child because they are taught that they are above others and can just get what they want immediately. It promotes instant gratification. I also teach my kids the right way and will say something to the other mom if this happens. Especially when its one mom with her child---then the aunt, uncle. grandma, and 7 other siblings come into the line and try to cut---I had this happen last week. Its not ok. I am fine if its one parent and their child but not the multiple generations that do this.
* Kids with special needs or those using the bathroom are not a issue for me.I will hold their spot gladly for them.
I totally agree. At our local events, I have seen kids jump from the front of one line to the front on another (carnival type games) as parents and grandparents were waiting in all the lines for them. Honestly, I never went back to these events (this was just icing on the rediculous cake....don't get me started about all the parents at an easter egg hunt that will race out and get as much candy as they can for their kids baskets and not leave any for anyone else).
Personally, I don't spend time judging about what other people are doing. I think my time is better spent being mindful of my own actions.
We just went to HK Disney and it states clearly in the rules (on the ticket, on line and on the map) that all members of the party MUST line up together at all times. I completely agree with this, although I do make exceptions for potty breaks.
