Rude or Not?

1. If it held up the line moving then yes, if there were still some people ahead then no big deal.

2. not rude at all.

1: Might be rude, depending on how much is in the cart, because if the cart is really really full, the people behind them might have chosen a different line. If the cart only has a couple of things, it wouldn't bother me.
2: Not rude at all.

#1. Not rude. Annoying maybe.
#2. What? People are expected to go and greet their spouses upon pick up? Now I've heard everything.

These examples look like people looking for a reason to get their panties in a twist, to be honest.

Both efficient, neither is rude.

i don't see rudeness in either scenario. i DO see some potential for annoyance on the part of the people waiting with carts at costco, but that doesn't mean it's wrong for the place to be held. in order to make sure i'm on the side of angels, i WOULD (if i were the placeholder) mention briefly to the person behind me 'i'm holding this place for my husband, he'll be here with the cart in a few moments.' but it's not strictly necessary. if you go to costco, you know there are going to be lines. even in the self checkout, which i prefer to use there, there are lines.

ETA i would think it rude if the no-cart person made it all the way to the cashier and THEN expected the people behind them to wait. in fact, if i were behind them, i'd say 'excuse me, since you're not ready to go, i'm going to go ahead and get rung up.' but if the cart showed up when everyone was still waiting, that's fair game.

but i can see how this one is a question, at least, and how some might disagree.

the second scenario is just silly. why would a spouse be expected to come in and say hi to one's co-workers under most circumstances, let alone this one? i think most workplaces would find that awkward and distracting. it would be weird to expect the pick-up spouse to park the car and make a point of walking in to say hi to the co-workers, who presumably have jobs they should be doing.

when would something like that even happen?
khairete
S.

I think too many people live to be offended.
I don't think either situation is rude, personally. Life is short. IN the first situation: Don't be peeved at other people for being strategic. I mean, someone still had to wait. There aren't rules other than 'stand your turn in line', and someone *did* do that. Why does it affect you anyway? Do we really need to hold onto this?

I was at Costco last Christmas season on a Sunday and people were doing your example #1. My husband was ranting and raving about it and how rude it is. When we get to the front, the guy in front of us - his wife pulls up with a giant basket filled with stuff. My husband went quietly insane. And we had a good laugh. The guy ahead of us must have been thinking that when his wife pulls up, there is going to be trouble. But we are not that kind of people. YES, it's rude!! If the wife had run to get something at the last minute, that's one thing - but to have that level of entitlement. Rude!

The second example - nope - not at all. If you have somewhere to go, then just pull up and be on your way. Wave if you see someone. Or send the spouse with best wishes and an excuse. But you do have to bite the bullet every once in a while and go in.

I don't happen to think either situation is rude. The first one, maybe a little bit. But life is really too short to get butt hurt over something so silly - and it in no way lengthens the time you're having to wait in line behind that person, in my opinion.

In the second situation, that happens all the time with my husband's work. I meet him for lunch regularly. He's worked in his office for 9 years. I'm not there to make small talk and interrupt his coworker's day. I'm there to take him out to lunch in the very limited amount of time we have together. He works at a firm of about 100 people with a small cadre of folks that I could buddy up to, if I wanted to, which I don't. And he doesn't encourage me to waste their time either.

Costco situation - rude. VERY RUDE.

work pick up - what the what?? WHO CARES?!?!? Why should someone feel like they MUST go in to say "hi" to spouses co-workers. Sorry - but unless you're some "needy" people?? Gotta go! have a great day!! NO REASON for spouse to come in and say hi!! That's another type of rudeness - assuming that people WANT to see you and then DISRUPTING their day.

I might give the first situation 10 seconds of private thought if they pulled in with a overflowing cart of stuff. "Really? Now I have to wait a little longer?" Then it would be totally forgotten.

The second example I can't even figure out. Why would the driver need to park, get out of the car walk into the office to say "hi" only to turn right around and walk out?

Letting stuff like this bug you only hurts the one who is so bothered. No one wants to be around a judgy, nit-picker

1. I would have assumed the person was holding the spot. Why else stand there with nothing? Not rude.

2. No, if you're picking up someone, no need to get out of the car and go inside. Not rude.

Situation 1- nope. who cares whether the cart is there or not, there's still someone in line.

Situation 2- also nope. :)

1) yes
2) no
Number 1 is rude because most people choose a line by who is in front of them and how much they are buying and how long it will take them to check out.

Number 2 is only rude if the couple had a prior agreement that the driver would come in to chat.

1 - depends. If the person held others up and didn't let people go ahead if their family wasn't back, yes. If the line didn't move and the person didn't block anyone, then I wouldn't care and don't think it's rude.

2- Not rude. The driver has NO obligation to come into the building. Why would that be rude? Why should they park, turn off the car, get out, go inside, etc.?

1. Maybe not. But if I chose that line because it didn't seem to have many people in it and then a huge cart came into line, I might be a little annoyed only that I had chosen a line that was actually going to be longer than I thought. I think people can afford to be a little more patient, but I think if this happened with 4 people in a row and you thought the person in line just had an item or two (because who would look that closely?), then I can see it being an irritant.

2. No. It's not rude, and it doesn't matter. This is a place of employment and not a social environment. In fact, if every spouse/friend/carpool was expected to put in an appearance, it would be distracting and would turn it into a purely social situation - the last thing an employer would want. Coworkers who would get upset about this are not focusing on their jobs.

Situation 1 is very rude. Saving place in line is a huge pet peeve of mine.

Situation 2 is not rude. It is a place of business, not a social gathering.

Situation 1 would only bug me if they showed up with a cart full of like a ton of items. Because I probably would have selected another line. I would just assume someone was coming with a cart if they were standing there with nothing in tow. Or I'd ask.

I don't find situation 2 rude at all. I personally find it tiring some days when I want to get in/out of my husband's work place. I like everyone and like to socialize at parties and gatherings, and if I have time, but it's kind of disruptive to have spouses/partners come in and chat every time someone comes by for lunch or to pick them up.

Similarly, I don't always go out and say hello when my kids' friends' parents pick up their kids. I typically do, or I at least wave, and sometimes I invite them in for a few minutes (usually it's chit chat at door) but sometimes it's just about getting your kid and it's not necessary. People are busy.

1. Yes. Rude. That would bug me. I may have chosen that line thinking it's a little quicker, then I find out that the person in front of me is holding a space for someone with a cart full of stuff. I don't mind staying in line with the cart while someone I'm shopping with dashes off to get one item we forgot, if there are several people in front of us and there's time, and it's just to grab one easy thing. But to stand in line while someone else shops, to simply be a place-holder? Nope. I call rude on that one.

2. No. Not rude. Worker spouse may wish to appear professional. Worker spouse may have observed other workers having their spouse drop by and chat too long and too loudly, and even though your worker spouse knows that driver spouse will be polite and brief and appropriately friendly, worker spouse doesn't want comparisons made, or for things to be uncomfortable for the other worker whose spouse came in and interrupted everyone's day and nearly drowned everyone in her obnoxious perfume. Or driver spouse may wish to stay out of worker spouse's business, so it doesn't seem like he or she is checking up on worker spouse. Driver spouse may wish to not seem disruptive. Driver spouse may simply believe that it's best to let the business day be about business. Driver spouse may want to help worker spouse maintain a very professional attitude. It would only be rude if driver spouse ignores worker spouse's colleagues if they pass by each other on the street or happen to be both shopping in the produce department, or isn't polite during the office holiday party (or won't even attend company outings without a good reason, like a sick baby, or in month 9 and a half of pregnancy, etc), or refuses to be cordial and polite at other occasions when he or she sees worker spouse's colleagues.

1) Meh, it's kind of rude. What we do when we get a ton is have the person with the cart go to the line to wait and the other person takes off to find an item we missed.

2) not rude at all. I've done this several times. Husband too. Makes no difference how big the company is.

What exactly is the real question? Totally not buying that what you wrote was the whole story.

Why on earth would anyone ask was it rude to just pick your husband up out front where he met you? That is duh no brainer not rude, but say your husband waited out front to catch you and said honey, everyone at work wants to say hi and see the new baby, and you said not in the mood, in a hurry, whatever, well that has some gray area. Not saying it is rude either because things like that should be discussed before pick up but still, this question makes no sense.

It is like asking question one, is water wet? Question 2 is the sun hot?

I can only assume the Costco one your husband said you were being rude trying to get out of there quickly and refused to pull the cart up to where you were?

1)I would not necessity call it rude, but seems unfair, and in our society those two things are often interchangeable. I would not do it.

2)I sure hope this is not rude because I do this all the time. I am an introvert and, while I do enjoy holding meaningful conversations with people, I abhor small talk and do not go out of my way to put myself in situations where it will be expected of me.

1. So they were waiting in line and holding a place? So what? Not rude in my opinion. Sometimes I have one of my kids stand in one line while I stand in the other. Whichever one gets through faster is the one I go in.
2. Nope. I don't want to go in and talk with my husband's co-workers. I just want my husband!

1. yes rude. and depending on my mood I would either say something very loudly like, oh no you didn't! or I would stand quietly fuming. lol

2. no not rude. your spouse has no obligation to go inside and chat with the coworkers. especially if its during lunch break and using up your time. No it doesn't matter if the workplace has 3 or 3,000 employees.

1: yes. rude. don't get in line till you have made all your selections. everyone has to wait in line.
2: not rude. i have only met one of dh's co-workers because we were taking our boat out of the river and happened to be in line behind that co-worker. i have never wanted to go meet these people that dh complains about daily.

1 - You don't stand in line with no purchases and hold up everyone else waiting for someone who is still shopping. I'm surprised that the cashier didn't say something.

2 - If I am picking up the old man at work and he is waiting for me outside, why on earth would I go inside the building just to say hello to his coworkers?

1) Depends on how long the line is. 2 people is not 10 people - and 10 people could lynch her.
Rude but most people would let her get away with it.
I'd be pissed and inclined to tell the cart wielder that she/he can do his time in line starting from the back just like everyone else did.
No one died and made them the Queen of England.
I've never seen line holders at our Costco and I think that store doesn't allow it.

2) Not rude at all. Size doesn't matter. Going to run errands is not a social occasion - it's not a company picnic or Christmas party. I've had both happen and honestly - some people you can't shut them up so you can get on with your work - I always PREFERRED it if they saved the chit chat for occasions that merit the small talk and not interrupt my work day.

1) yes, rude but what can you do? it's like people "saving seats" at a busy venue, some people just don't have a clue.
2) not rude at all, sometimes I would go into my husband's office to say hi and socialize but I didn't always want to or feel like it, and how would anyone know or care either way?

1. Why didn't the people with carts just speak up? Tell that person to move so they can ring out their stuff.

If it was like 20 seconds, ok, but 5 minutes? Heck no. I would be speaking up.

2. No

The first one - VERY rude. Seriously? Why not leave the cart person in line and the other one run to get something. Sometimes I forget something and a kid will run and grab it while I'm unloading the cart, but I can't imagine pulling up with a huge cart full of stuff to a person with nothing. I get in line behind the people who have the least amount of stuff, I would be PISSED.

The second one - not at all. I used to pick my husband up and not park, I would wait for him to come out, even though I knew his coworkers. When he picks me up now he waits outside. Parking is a mess and it would take forever for him to come in. Not rude AT ALL.

1. you have no idea whether that person was already in line and forgot something. Or maybe there are other extenuating circumstances. In this case I say myob and don't worry about it.

2. also don't have enough information. maybe the person doesn't feel good. maybe the person is just in a rotten mood and not up to socializing. also, myob and don't worry about it.

If you're wondering whether it's okay for YOU to do these things, that's up to you. My personal preference is I'd rather not do something if it MIGHT look like I'm being rude (or if someone may take the opportunity to scrutinize my actions and use it as an excuse to be judgy). So I would not want to appear to hold a spot for someone in line. I may or may not go into my spouse's place of work, that depends. Do they already know me? Does my spouse want to introduce me to people? That depends. Is it a company of 20 people or 200? yes, that does matter too.

1: Rude. Depending on my hurry I might say "Sorry, my CART was here first" if that person tried to get in front of me. If I had all day and wanted to read a magazine in line I'd ignore.

2: No, not rude. No one in the building would be disappointed that a driver did not come in and say hello. No one would even know it was happening.

Situation 1: Maybe a little...As long as they didn't hold you up (such as starting to ring up and then holding up the line until the other family came up) then not too much. After all, they waited their turn. However, as the people behind that person clearly you didn't expect your wait to be quite as long. As long as it wasn't a huge amount in the cart I'd say no big deal.

Situation 2: If they are waiting outside, there is no need to go in a say "hello" to the spouse's co-workers. If they went inside, it would be rude to not say hello to those that they encountered.

Situation #1: I personally think it's very rude to "hold" a place like that. What makes you so special that you can't wait like everyone else does?

Situation #2: No. You don't go into your spouse's place of employment to say "hi" no matter how big or small. Why would you do that? It doesn't make any sense to do that.

Yes to the first situation, and the cashier should have asked that person to step aside if this resulted in making other customers wait more than just a moment. The next person in line could have been checked out in the five minutes the person with the cart was gone.

In the second situation, the answer is NO. Why would it be rude? The driver is just picking up to run quick errands. Why should the driver have to make an appearance (small office or not)? The driver's time is just as important as anyone else's, so if time or other circumstances do not allow for going into the office and making the rounds just to say, "hi," then there is nothing rude about that.

#1 -- maybe or maybe not

#2 -- nope

I understand you asking about the first scenario. I do think it's rude. I have not actually seen this done in Costco at all.

I don't understand you asking about number 2. If it's your husband you're talking about, if he doesn't want to go into the workplace, he shouldn't be expected to. If you expect him to, then the rude one is you. If you are a coworker of the woman or man and you expect the driver to come in, you are the one who is rude. I hope you are in neither scenario. But I can't figure out why you would ask if you aren't one or the other.

1: yes, but who cares
2: no

Situation 1: My mother used to do this to me all the time. I think someone spoke up once and my mother told there where to go and how to get there and that was the end of that. My daughter does it for me and I've never asked her too nor have I stopped her. We haven't had anyone comment or complain.

Situation 2: No I don't think it's rude. Why should your ride go in if they are waiting in the car. It doesn't matter if the place is big or small. If the rider wants the driver to meet the coworkers then invite them in.

I don't know if it's rude or not. I know that I've been pushing the basket due to knee issues and realized I forgot something and had to, taking the cart with me, left hubby in line and went to get it quickly. Then came back. But I went around to the end of the line and waited until he got to the register due to there being baskets behind him.

As for the other, no, it's not rude to stop at the curb to pick someone up and not get out, leaving their vehicle parked wherever, walk in, chat and visit, then go out and leave.

To me it's about having plans with a person you don't get to yourself very often and needing to be somewhere or doing something else.