Sassy Sauce

Not sure I'd recommend the sassy sauce personally - I know other people have tried it, but my concern would be that the child would develop an aversion to certain foods because of the association.

We had our mouths washed out with soap on a few occasions growing-up. It honestly was awful.

We have a 3.5 year old who is not allowed to use certain words. If he does, we prefer to take things away that have substantial meaning to him. He's learned really quickly not to do it after a few nights without his favorite show/toy.

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED:

C.,

You still have not eloborated on what words your child uses that you find unacceptable, and frankly seem somewhat defensive. This site is not meant to be offensive, however, it is meant to get the advice, suggestions and experience of a wide rage of parenting. When one says such things as "keep this or that" to "yourself", you may be missing out on the exact information that will help you with the current problem you are having with your child.

Blessings....

C.,

Can you be specific about the "ugly words".....and have you asked where your little one learned these "ugly words"?....I am making the assumption that she did not learn them at home???? Please let us know so we can make better suggestions.

Blessings.....

We take away a toy for 24 hours when our 3 year old talks sassy.

I'm opposed to using the 'wash your mouth out with soap' method. I tend to refer to various cleaners, medicines and chemicals as "soap" and I wouldn't want to send a message to my child that its ok to ingest any type of soap.

To make an impression on my children I have used the scripture "Hurtful words cut like a knife; kind words bring healing to the soul". I do not allow disrespect in behavior or words. James Dobson says our home is to be a place of refuge, for every member and I believe that whole heartedly. When my daughter has been disrespectful to my son, I'll ask her, do you realize you are cutting him with a knife with those words? (She is 10 he is 6) It works well. She loves him dearly (as he does her) and she would never hurt him physically on purpose. It brings home that our mouthes can be more hurtful than we realize. I have told them both that when their words are hateful they are bitter to God as well as to me and had them smell vinegar. I haven't had them taste it and don't think it will be necessary. I do remind them that I can have them taste it if they need to remember how bitter their words are and they usually straighten up and apologize to each other without my saying another word. Another friend of mine has used a tiny bit of Cocoa on the tongue which is bitter as well and used the example of how unkind words are bitter to us.

I think Love and Logic is a great book and so is 1-2-3- Magic. 3 year olds are definitely old enough to get the time out message as well. I really like the way 1-2-3 Magic works in that regard. I also like Super Nanny (probably silly, but I do) so you might try to catch one of her shows. She almost always deals with disrespectful behavior in one way or another. Good for you to nip this in the bud. It is obvious you love your son and want him to be respectful. I am sure you will find a technique that works in your family.

Blessings!
L.

I have a friend that gets good results using vinegar.

My kids (10 and 9) hate mustard..so we make them eat a spoonful of mustard when those ugly words come out..it will not hurt them people consume mustard everyday and its safe...try finding something that he doesnt like the taste of..broccoli, mayo,ketchup,mustard,pickle juice..etc..small doses will not hurt the kids!

Well, if the words are potty talk, then my girls have a stool in the bathroom to take a time out (door open) or they spit their 'potty' words into the potty several times. However, the phrases listed above are signs of disrespect. I would treat this differently. I have used to resources: Love and Logic---great information on positive parenting, and Shepherding A Child's Heart is the other great book that covers obedience and respect specifically. I hope these two resources can help you through this time.

When my sister and I were little, if we sassed or talked back, we'd get our mouth washed out with soap. I think they always used Ivory soap. It tasted awful, but it didn't hurt anything but our pride. I've never had to do this with my son. I think once he came back from day care and tried to talk back to me like he'd heard other kids talk to their parents (guess he thought he would try it out). I just sat down with him on my lap and talked with him and asked "Why do you think it's ok to talk to me like that? I don't call you bad names or say things to make you feel bad. We talk nice to each other because we love each other and don't want to hurt our feelings." and then I said if he didn't know what was a bad word he could ask me and I'd tell him if it was a word he could use or not. Just because other people say things that hurt other feelings is no reason for us to imitate it. It seemed to get through to him and we've never had a problem since. He's 11 yrs old now and so far we have some very good and open communication lines between us. I only hope it holds up through his teenage years.

I think soap is gross and I could never bring myself to use hot sauce either but i know that there is benefit in a YOUNG child feeling something to make them undestand the wrongness of there deed... We as adults live with consequences and it is good for children to have some too.
My children are still babies so discipline is new to me...
But I can tell you are a loving mom that just is looking for something to stop the problem and I like the sassy sauce idea.
Wonder if you could use a baking soda and water mix?
I would wash my mouth out first and see how bad it is but it wouldnt burn like vinegar if they happen to have a sensitive spot in there mouth.
Just a thought Happy Parenting
By the way to some of you other moms I think it is personality differences that make us all feel one way or another about the ways we were treated as a child.
I took everything so personal that I will always avoid spanking soap and other "old fashioned " methods... But some of my siblings see nothing wrong with how mom did stuff.
We need to know our childs personality and pay attention to the way it is affecting them when we choose our methods.
What works for one is totally wrong for the next.
Lets be caring Loving and Sensitive to our dear childrens needs.

I saw on a t.v. show last week that the mom used a bar of soap and made the 5 year old bite down on it and "taste" it for however many minutes the child is: in your case 3. It reminded me of the movie "A Christmas Story", (I think), but it seems moms are still using this today. Good luck!