Sahms - Have You Ever Had a Day "Off"?

Well, if you ask my ex husband, SAHMs have EVERY day off, thus the ex part!

:)

(And no he did not cover for me)

Yikes hope I don't sound bitter, tehehe.

Nope. I had more time to myself when I was still working. I am having a hard time convincing DH that my days at home are not all sunshine and roses all day every day. He thinks that he is the one who needs time off so even on the weekends I am on mommy duty. He gets off easy in my opinion, the only work around the house he does is the lawn and that is just once a week. I do all the house cleaning, laundry and cooking with no assistance. So do I think I need a day off no I need a week off.

NOOOOOO!!!!!
Actually tomorrow I was supposed to have my mom over to watch my kids for PART of the day and she cancelled.
I cried

I'm a working mom and if you think I get a day off, you are sadly mistaken! Chores are still there when I get home from my 40 hour work week. Kids miss me and want undivided attention. Husband misses me and wants - alone time. Laundry misses me and wants to be done. My yard needs to be watered. Dinner needs to be made, oh, but I have to run to the grocery store 1st. So - mmmm no such thing as a day off for any of us. Even vacations are full of planning, coordinating, scheduling, packing, etc.

Updated

I'm a working mom and if you think I get a day off, you are sadly mistaken! Chores are still there when I get home from my 40 hour work week. Kids miss me and want undivided attention. Husband misses me and wants - alone time. Laundry misses me and wants to be done. My yard needs to be watered. Dinner needs to be made, oh, but I have to run to the grocery store 1st. So - mmmm no such thing as a day off for any of us. Even vacations are full of planning, coordinating, scheduling, packing, etc.

Do moms EVER get a day off????? I work Full Time, so I don't fit the SAHM mold, but I care for my kids and the house after work. I feel like I have 2 full time jobs most days. Not complaining, just stating the facts. My husband works full time nights, so it's all me during the week.

The few hours I get away maybe on a Saturday afternoon always include coming home to twice the mess I left and or would have occurred had I stayed home.

So no...no days "off" not even the afternoon.

I work full time, and I honestly can't remember the last time I had any time off at all. I have my 50+ hour a week job, then my husband and I also have a business that consumes most of our weekends as well, then we have 2 kids who need help with homework, being driven to dance practice, all the usual household chores that need to be done, grocery shopping and cooking meals, laundry, it goes on and on... I get about 6 hours of sleep a night, if you want to call that "time off." I don't remember what time off was like at this point. I am exhausted all the time. :(

I got a day to myself for shopping when we got our taxes back, but when I got home the house was a mess. I had double to do the next day.

This question should be to both moms who worked outside and inside the home, not just the SAHMs. I work full time outside the house and full time inside. Husband does some stuff or things just dont get done. Enjoy!

My mil takes my kids fridays but I still have to clean, get dinner ready and run errands, at least it's easier without kids and I try to go to yoga, so I guess I am spoiled on Fridays!

shoot. I don't even get 15 minutes 'off.' I was about to put my son in the tub last night. I got a phone call before it happened. So I went outside to talk for a few minutes. Came back in and my husband, nor my MIL nor my FIL took the initiative to draw the bathwater and get my son in the tub. They all knew I was about to give him a bath, yet they all sat on the couch and watched their tv show while I did all the running around and "doing."

Similar incident last week, which drives me NUTS. It was time for son to get ready for bed. The MIL and FIL and husband just sit there and play with my son instead of saying "no, no more playing. It's time for your jammies. And I think your mom is calling you into thebathroom to brush your teeth." Nope. They continue to tickle him and play with him while I sit in the bathroom waiting for him after I've told him 3 times to come brush his teeth.

I NEED a day off. It's been 3 years non-stop SAHM and I've had maybe 5 evenings off where I wasn't the one who had to put the kiddo to bed. And I've had only one morning off where my son wasn't there (sleeping at nanas)

i miss being a sahm and when i was it felt like i was off! depending on how many kids u have i guess..i have one so it was all fun all of the time!

I have day's off from changing diapers but the days off are filled with shopping for food, school, or something else busy. I get the ocassional night off and man after my Mom's Night Out's I tend to be rejouvinated. My husband has actually started to see when I need a night out and will help me get something set up. Just recently did he start this and we've only been together for 9yrs lol. They can be a bit slow :)

Mine does laundry now and agian, at least folds it ALL and puts it away! Its a really big help, and frees my day up a LOT :) WIth two boys under 2yo, we do tons of laundry :):)

depends on the chores ... mostly pushed off.

I try to get everything done before he gets home from 2nd shift but there's nights he's walking in and I'm doing dishes and laundry. He does SO much around here AND goes to work in a stressful and loud job I WANT to get things done.

He never says anything and often takes care of things before I even THINK of doing it. He's so weird. :)

Don't hate but my Mother's Day present is FOUR Rick Springfield shows and I basically run around with all my out of state friends that fly in for the shows. I regress back to being 16 all over again! He takes vacation days and lets me run wild!

Ha! This question makes me laugh. I think my husband thinks every day is my "day off"! Honestly, there are some days I don't get around to doing anything "chore" wise, but then my hubby usually helps me out later that evening or, like you said, I just have to suck it up and do a little more the next day. I love being a SAHM, but honestly, there is no such thing as a full day off..unless my son is gone, the house miraculously is spotless, and there are no errands to run...so basically, there is no such thing! ;)

S.--that's the funniest thing I've heard all day!

While my hubby helps out, if I get a day or a few hours off, it means just away from the kids.

My hubby tells me don't stress about the dishes not getting done, they will wait. I know he means it in a very zen way of don't sweat the small stuff. If you say the phrase in the mommy way, the dishes will wait for me--it means the dishes will wait ONLY for me, just as the laundry does too!!

Sometimes when I get "time off" I do use it to catch up on chores or grocery shopping ALONE, but sometimes I relax and do something I want to do and let the dishes wait in the sink.

That's how things work for me. I hope you manage to get what you want.

I think I will have a true day off when the kids have moved out of the house. My husband is very good at giving me breaks and taking care of the kids if I need to go do a quick errand or go out with a friend, but I don't consider that a day off :) if I had the chance to have a whole day off while my kids were still at the house, then I guess I would call it a day off for my body, but my mind would still be thinking of what needs to be done, and if things are okay at the house or how many chores need to be done, and how will the house look when I get back. :)

Yes I do get day/days off just last Thursday-Sunday my Inlaws had all 3 of my kids.I seen them @ soccer games Sat.morning then they were home late Sunday afternoon.They love the time with their grandparents,I don't really clean when they are gone I do other things.My in-laws are a huge part in our lives.
Hubby will do dishes that is it

My hubby would help out but I never demanded it. My hubby worked so hard at his job so that I could stay home so I never expected him to pitch in. But what I did do was thank him every time he handed me the check or pay stub. I would tell him how grateful I was to be a SAHM. I would try to have dinner ready when he came home as it showed him that I valued him. (Sure there were times when I got lazy, made excuses, or just had a bad day that it didn't happen). Then lastly, I tried to make his needs important no matter how tired I was. Does that sound like an old-fashioned wife? Probably. But you would not believe how great our marriage has been. And he would offer to help out because I think he wanted to show his appreciation. I'm sure he heard about the other wives of his buddies who nagged at him, complained about how hard it is to be a SAHM (yes, it's hard but only vent to your girlfriends), never made him feel like the great provider he was or the great lover he was... I can see him just smile...

Take care of his 3 basic needs (to be respected, to be fed, and to be "willing and available") and you will see your husband cover for you without even asking. Will there be days when he won't help out? Yes. But there will be many more days that he will. Just be sure to "reward" him.

My husband has insisted that I take a day to myself from time to time through the years. He knows that I'm in better shape to care for the family if I get to come up for air once in awhile.

Sometimes this will just be a mani/pedi/coffee with friends day, but sometimes has been an overnight in a hotel that has a hot tub and pool and breakfast in the morning.

Once when I was staying in such a hotel there was a group of men having some kind of religious meeting. One of them asked me if some of the kids there were mine and I explained that my husband had given me the day and night off, so I'm "kid free" for the day and night. I heard him go back and tell all these men what I had said and they all agreed that they were going to go home and give their wives a day off! I hope it really happened for them.

Keep in mind that chores might not be done or might be done "differently". That doesn't matter so much after you've been refreshed by some time to yourself.

No, not really. The only time my husband ever does it all is on Mother's Day. Needless to say, I welcome this coming weekend! :) I do get hours off though. It's few and far between and it has to be my idea. My husband is helpful with our kids and quite the clean guy. However, he has no idea how much more I do than he. Even adding in all of his hours of office work. When he gets off work, he will maybe bathe the kids or clean the kitchen. I do the rest. If the kids come in at night, I'm the one awake and he never even knows it happens. He cannot relate to how much I sacrifice because he's never done it. Anyway, if you need some time off, you are just going to have to ask for it! Take a short weekend trip. That's a real break. He can handle it (and ask him to try his hardest to keep the house in check before you return). That way you won't be a week behind. :)

Yes last year I went on a cruise, this year I am going to see my friend graduate by myself. Last year he went to San Diego for a class by his lonesome, this year he went somewhere else. It's usually just for three to four days. We really didn't plan things that way (except the cruise). It's just how it worked out.

Are you kidding me?! On my birthday my husband will tell me not to do the dishes then he will leave them for tomorrow. I would love more than anything for him to wash dishes or vacum just once. I do not however allow him to touch the washer he ruins clothes. When I go somewhere for the evening if I come back and it's bed time or past the kids are usually still up and dressed not in pajamas but in their daytime clothes if the big boys are in bed then the baby is either up playing or asleep on the couch because my husband doesn't bother to put him in his crib. So no I NEVER get anytime off I may get a couple hour break but that is it...he will clean the babys toys up in the living room only because he doesn't want to look at the mess while he watches TV at night.

I rarely have days off. I have parts of days off. I can leave DD with DH for spans of time, but I don't go off for a day or a weekend by myself. It always seems like he has something going on even when he is home so I'm still on kid-duty part of the time. I also work PT from home and it just never stops.

I actually remember one. My oldest son is almost 13. We've been married almost 15 years.

It was last July. I left about 11 am to meet a friend (an hour away) for lunch, shopping, catching up, shopping, wine tasting, shopping, dinner, etc. I made it home about midnight. But my morning started by getting the kids breakfast. Were all my chores done while I was out? Well... the kids were fed and taken care of. Some laundry might have been done. That's it. The kitchen was "relatively" cleaned up... but still not like I would have left it. And no one gave the dog her meds.

I insisted on it starting at about 9mo. That it was completely and totally unfair that H got a 2 day weekend, and I got a 0 day weekend.

I had to break that off when our son was nearly 4 (that's when my husband's temper problems first started) and I still can't trust my H with our (now 8yo) son for any extended period of time.

That said... I DO get 6-8 hours off once a week 9-10 months a year, and 1 night a month. Kiddo has a standing Nana-Day (we homeschool, I don't get hours off while kiddo is in awayschool). She picks him up at noon and brings him home after dinner. For our monthly sleepovers... I drop him off at dinner and pick up a little after lunch.

I'm considering changing that to a 2-3 day weekend once a month so I can start writing for publication again... but I'm not sure, just yet.

LOL... cover for me? Nope. If I don't do them, my chores don't get done. I plan that into my time off.

I never have and my daughter is 4, I did go in january to get my hair done for my bday and felt so guilty the whole time! Plus when I got home I had a disaster to clean up! Its long overdue!

I'm not a SAHM mom, but despite this the bulk of the house management and childcare still falls on me. My husband is aware of this, and, if I ask, is good about giving me a break. For mother's day this year, when he asked what I wanted, I told him I wanted a girls' weekend away with two old friends I rarely get to see anymore. He was surprised, but supported it. I'm 5 months pregnant with our second child, and really feeling the stress and exhaustion of work and parenting a toddler. My husband knows this, and has also been giving me occasional "days off" on weekends where he shooes me out the door to go spend time by myself and relax. I have a hard time not being there, as my son is very mommy-focused, but I think it's good for him and his dad to spend time together and bond a bit. (And yes, as people have noted, the "day off" isn't really off, since it's usually only a few hours and the cooking and cleaning are still waiting when I get home! But the break and quiet are still welcome.)

I have had a whole day and a half off, with hubby for our 5th anniversary. Since no one was in the house it stayed pretty clean, but that ment none of the other chores got done.

I have had a few hours off (night out with friends, in a league, getting a massage), the house is "picked" up, daughter in bed but other chores that I usually do really were pushed off to the following day :)

There has been days where I would do little around the house (mainly sick, but once a month we have PJ day) and those days we just play games, lounge around, read, watch TV... still make meals & clean up from that.

I went away with girlfriends to the beach probably twice a year or so when my kids were little. I did not expect alot from him except that the children still be alive and the house not wrecked and he always did fine and I think it helped him and the kids to develop a deeper relationship without me always being there. Just do what you need to do to be happy and give up the control issues with everything being done your way. Let him find his own way of doing and you just enjoy being away.

I am so grateful to have a husband who helps out anytime I ask him to. I have two kids and work full time so I have about 20 seconds to myself each day. I think the key is to ask for help which a lot of women have a hard time doing including me and to schedule your time on the calendar. I went away for the weekend with my girlfriends and we scheduled it 5 months in advance to make sure we could all make it. That way everyone knows it's there including my kids and we can all prepare and look forward to it.

My baby is 2 and I had one day off. My husband had off on a weekday (like never happens) and I went shopping. I went from store to store and just browsed. My husband watched my son all the while and didnt do any of the chores but I didnt care because just to go shopping without feeling rushed was a vacation in itself.

Day Off? I think I misplaced that card somewhere when I got married and had a son. I don't think that women especially SAHM ever really get a true day off. My husband helps with a few things, we made a deal when we were dating that whoever cooked the other does the dishes, and we have stayed true to that. Other things, well they get pushed off to another day. I don't watch tv so there is always something to do. Now showering....lets just say hmmm. Ha Ha Love my son though wouldn't change it. My husband could help out more though. Whose husband couldn't?

I had days off before our daughter was born.
We have a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 month old
Before I was pregnant with my daughter I got days off.
Our son wasn't breastfed anymore, and he loved going for Boys only outings with his daddy.
But now that I have an 8month old, I'm back to having No real days off.
Funny thing is my "alone time" is when I go grocery shopping once the babies are in bed. haha Fun huh??
And I guess they weren't really DAYS off..more like Hours off.

I am very fortunate to have a husband that helps all the time.
Hopefully once my lil girl sleeps through the night, or eats more solid foods, I will get time off again.

I know i'm late but to answer your question no, but if u ask my husband , everyday is a day off for me. Only time i have a day off is when i visit my mother, two hours away, she takes care of my son 100 percent, she bathes him, sleeps him, feeds him, etc etc. And i am sooooooooooooo blessed and thankful for that , its the only time i can put my feet up on the couch and watch tv or munch on something, go to sleep peacefully. Gosh, sounds bad right. I love my son and my husband.... and my husband wants to give me "days off" on the weekend when he's off but i always end up doing about 70 percent of the work so i don't even consider that a "day off" however, on mothers day (since i'm mexican-american, we celebrate both days here) i take both days off completely! :)

I don't get a "day off", but I DID get this weekend off - went to Vegas with some girlfriends for another friend's wedding. When I came home, the kitchen was actually clean, although no laundry had been done. All in all, the house was NOT quite the disaster I expected it to be. So now that my husband has proven able to maintain this place without me, I will be taking more weekends off (no, not really) ;-)

I do everything Monday-Friday. My husband is in charge for meals on the weekend. I still do the laundry every day and don't do any other chores until Monday. Yes, by Monday the house is a disaster zone but it's ok. We love our weekends.

if I really need a break, my husband will take the kids for the day on his day off and I get to have me time for as long as I want to. He is an amazing cook and will make dinner for the kids, give them a shower and put them to bed for me. I'm not too worried about him doing a bunch of cleaning because he is playing with the kids. He works a lot so the kids love to play with him on his days off, and he is like a big kid himself so he loves to play with them but is also responsible at the same time

No and no. If i get a break its to go do something else for an hour or two. Its never to have the entire day to mess around. I have thought about letting the hubby have one saturday to see what i do all day. but then i realized that the house would be a huge mess and everyone would be in a mood. i figure i will get a day off when kids go to friends houses! then i can spend the day with the hubby or messing around ;)

NO, not really. i have been allowed to sleep in, but i come downstairs to life on pause, not life in progress. so kids are in PJs, breakfast may or may not have happened/cleaned up. i know moms who rec've weekends away w/ girlfriends for valentine's day or mom's day , or just because. even those moms have to prep for their departure by laying out clothes, pre-cooking meals, arranging rides/ care for kids w/ inlaws, etc. so this "gift" is a whole lot of work. i would LOVE a TRUE day off.