Differently situated, Full time working mom with a 20 month old. I too am compelled to keep things cleaned and organized. I don't however find myself cleaning all the time.
Here are some tips-
1. hubs and I are both very tidy.
2. we don't keep a lot of stuff.
3. we clean as we cook (minimizes kitchen mess)
4. we don't cook daily, just in big batches every so often. (again minimizes kitchen mess).
5. laundry is done once a week (toddler helps), so no constant flow of laundry.
6. all eating is done at the table, (no crumbs in the sofa)
7. i clean the bathroom while DS has a bath.
8. we employ robots (a mint and a vaccum).
9. we tidy every time we leave a room or leave the apt.
10. no carpeting.
11. we don't have "hot zones" where stuff gets piled up.
12. we have a dishwasher and utilize it regularly (toddler helps to load and unload).
13. in addition to the tidying, hubs or I may do one extra cleaning/ home upkeep job a day, i.e. dust, windows, wash all the toys, replenish the diaper bag, pick up drycleaning, pay bills, wipe down door handles, light switches, picture frames, the inside of the fridge, scrub grout, deep clean a kitchen cabinet etc. (none of these jobs takes more than a few minutes. Nothing ever gets so dirty that cleaning it is a big job. We don't feel compelled to do more than 1 extra job a night, but they are so quick and easy, sometimes we find ourselves doing several).
14. bills and junk mail are dealt with immediately.
15. trash is taken out as often as twice a day (toddler helps).
16. we don't spend much time at home so we don't really have time to make it messy.
17. I can't say that I feel like I spend all day every day cleaning. I would guess that it amounts to about 15 minutes max.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.