SAHM - Do You Ever Feel like You Are Cleaning ALL Day EVERY Day?

Updated on July 06, 2012
L.L. asks from Sandy, UT
28 answers

I have a three year old and an almost two year old. I feel like all I do is clean.
Toys, breakfast mess, juice, toys, lunch mess, laundry, toys, dinner mess, toys, etc. Everyday I try to get everything organized and cleaned up in the hopes that I will be a head start for the next day. It never seems to help. Don't get me wrong, my boys are becoming accountable for more of their mess and help clean their toys up. It still, I feel like all I ever do is clean and it never seems to get done. It doesn't help that I am one of those people that needs things to be cleaned and organized (as much as possible). And I'm not an idiot, I know messes come along with kids. I just feel like its ALL day. Anyone else? Thoughts?

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K.H.

answers from Reno on

Nope. Not anymore. After I had my oldest I was diagnosed with ppd induced ocd-talk about a cleaning frenzy! Even after that got straightened out I was very anal about cleaning. Then I had a revelation: No matter how much work I get done-there is always more to do! Do I want to be a slave to my house and wants and desires or do I want to spend quality time with my babies who are growing up waaaaayyy to fast? I just learned to let it go. So what if I didn't mop today? I don't have company and the house will still be standing. OMG-forgot to clean the toilet!!!! Does my husband and children care if it smells like bleach? Nope-not at all!

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am a working mom and I *know* I am cleaning every day!

So far as I can tell my family is just a little more efficient at dirtying than I am at cleaning. :p

2 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

It's normal. Some days I don't have the drive to clean because I know I will just be dissapointed by dinner time again anyways.

1 mom found this helpful

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Here, here! Yes, I feel like that not everyday, but it's a powerful and dissatisfying feeling when it comes on.

I don't know if it will help you, but one thing I do is to create a 'real' schedule for my day with my son. I make a TO DO column and list everything that must get done, including shower, each meal/snack, quiet play time, meetings/appointments, outings, laundry, dishes...you get the picture.
I then add some 'wants' in there (both mine and kiddos) and then plug it all into a Plan for the Day. This helps me feel like what I get done is more of an accomplishment and less 'endless onerous task'.

It probably also helps that I've learned to prioritize and ignore what needs ignoring, so that I don't get too frustrated when my hard work of vacuuming is instantly ruined by husband black-sock-pilled feet leaving linty detritus everywhere. Life's too short...

2 moms found this helpful
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F.B.

answers from New York on

Differently situated, Full time working mom with a 20 month old. I too am compelled to keep things cleaned and organized. I don't however find myself cleaning all the time.

Here are some tips-
1. hubs and I are both very tidy.
2. we don't keep a lot of stuff.
3. we clean as we cook (minimizes kitchen mess)
4. we don't cook daily, just in big batches every so often. (again minimizes kitchen mess).
5. laundry is done once a week (toddler helps), so no constant flow of laundry.
6. all eating is done at the table, (no crumbs in the sofa)
7. i clean the bathroom while DS has a bath.
8. we employ robots (a mint and a vaccum).
9. we tidy every time we leave a room or leave the apt.
10. no carpeting.
11. we don't have "hot zones" where stuff gets piled up.
12. we have a dishwasher and utilize it regularly (toddler helps to load and unload).
13. in addition to the tidying, hubs or I may do one extra cleaning/ home upkeep job a day, i.e. dust, windows, wash all the toys, replenish the diaper bag, pick up drycleaning, pay bills, wipe down door handles, light switches, picture frames, the inside of the fridge, scrub grout, deep clean a kitchen cabinet etc. (none of these jobs takes more than a few minutes. Nothing ever gets so dirty that cleaning it is a big job. We don't feel compelled to do more than 1 extra job a night, but they are so quick and easy, sometimes we find ourselves doing several).
14. bills and junk mail are dealt with immediately.
15. trash is taken out as often as twice a day (toddler helps).
16. we don't spend much time at home so we don't really have time to make it messy.
17. I can't say that I feel like I spend all day every day cleaning. I would guess that it amounts to about 15 minutes max.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

It is truly all day. Stay at home mother is the hardest job on earth and with little recognition or appreciation for it you certainly also feel frustrated that you don't have the house you see in the commercials. But let me refresh everyone's memories and I cannot tell you who wrote it, or the exact words but it states something like this, about dirt and filth etc. stay away cobwebs, stay away don't want to sweep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.' Dear mama, mamas out there, I am now the mother of a twenty seven year old and a twenty one year old. The time flies and they grow up. My sons have spread their wings and flown, and two days ago I was mindless with the same fear as when he was a baby -for my eldest while he was evacuated in colorado Springs with his wife. They are safe
!!Tell yourself it is OK to have a house that isn't perfect and food droppings on the floor and messes in spots, these children will grow up and you can look at a spotless home all you want. But hug them all you can because sometimes I feel the biggest broken heart anyone can ever have and my clean house means nothing then.

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

The dishes are the worst, I swear they are like gremlins- they multiply when they get wet. I start in the back of the house and work.my way towards the front door. By the time I get there, my dd has usually made a mess out of her bedroom, or the bathroom. I have a 5 month old so I constantly have to stop cleaning to nurse him, lol. Im always glad we have a small house, more house is just more.house to clean:)

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Yes. In fact, it's time to go upstairs and vacuum and wash the floors. I'm having a hard time bringing myself to move.......

But yes, it seems like I spend hours everyday cleaning. In fact, all I wanted for mother's day was 1 day without any housework, most particularly doing the dishes! I HATE DOING DISHES AND THERE ARE ALWAYS DISHES!!!!!!!!!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Of course
The cleanest my house has ever been was as a full time working parent.

Because. No. One. Was. Home.

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B.R.

answers from Madison on

yep plus I have one more

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't feel, I KNOW.

:)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't clean every day, I clean every hour.....ughhhh

1 mom found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from New York on

When I hear things like this I really can't relate. I do clean my kitchen everyday but that is pretty much it. I vaccume once a week, do laundry once a week, clean the bathroom when it looks like it needs it (about 2 times a week) and my son has a train table and bins to put his toys away when he is done. That doesn't mean that there aren't clothes out on the dressers sometimes or toys left out at the end of the day, but in general, the house is presentable for company. Your kids are pretty young though and some kids are just more messy than others (my son is not messy at all, he is 4). I think it's a combo of little kids and you feeling the need to do more than you need to.

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M.P.

answers from Peoria on

Yes! I have two boys too, now ages almost 5 and 7. Take heart, it does get a little easier as they get older (provided your training them!) :). I used to feel this way too. And I really had a hard time relaxing when I felt like I had clutter around me. It was hard for me to relax. So what we did was to keep one or two designated areas for them to play (and toys were not allowed to leave those areas). I did not make them clean it until the end of the day and so they had their place of chaos and I still had my place in order. If it was really bad, they would clean it at midday too, before lunch. In our house, drinks and food are never taken out of the kitchen and shoes are always off when entering the house. These little things do help. If you can get a dust mop, it makes cleaning the hardwood floors much quicker too and is good for midday cleanups. Try and find little ways to make it easier on yourself. Finally, after you have things to a point where you can make yourself relax a bit, take a step back and realize that this time in your childrens' life is so special. They are not getting any smaller. And someday we will be wishing we had those little messes to clean up when they are too busy for us. :( sniff, sniff. Enjoy our kids as much as you can.

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A.G.

answers from Provo on

Yup...some days are definitely better than others! The only thing that I have found to have any real impact...is de-cluttering/getting rid of stuff. One of our moves we only took what we could fit in our suitcases (we thought it would be a temporary 6 month thing...it wasn't worth moving everything)...it was so nice and easy to keep things clean and organized! I keep telling myself I need to get back to something like that...we don't really need all this 'stuff'...blah blah blah...but it has yet to happen :p.

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J.L.

answers from St. Cloud on

Yeppers! I'm a cleaning machine some days! I just have a one year old, not two kids yet. Some days my standards are low and sometimes they're high. I would love a bigger place, but I'm not sure I'd want to clean that much more of a mess. I find comfort in my belief that I'm building his immune system by not disinfecting constantly :P

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Get up in the morning and right after breakfast, pack a lunch and head out on an all day field trip. If they make a mess eating at the park, so what. They aren't home all day pulling out all the toys. Do this every day. And only clean once a day. Set one day a week aside for a big clean. Some day those kids will be big, and then you can clean up and get organized. For now, just enjoy the kids.

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M.E.

answers from Boca Raton on

YES!!! And I have 2 dogs on top of 2 boys!!

C.A.

answers from New York on

I am a school bus driver so I get to spend most of the day with my kids. But I do find myself constantly cleaning up. It drives me crazy. There are some days when I say to heck with it and spend the time playing with the kids, but then the next day I am overwelmed with the clean up. I feel like I just can't get ahead. I talk to my husband about it and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. As soon as my 4 yr old daughter cleans up her toys, 20 mins later they are all over the place again. I would rather be outside playing with them then in the house all day cleaning. But in reality it needs to get done. I want to have a hugh yard sale to try to get rid of some of this stuff that we will never use. I know that having a 4yr old and a 9 month old that is crawling now, it is never going to be perfect. But I just wish that it could stay somewhat clean for atleast a day! LOL So I know what you are going through. But it feels good to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. Sometimes you think that and then you walk into someone elses house and go "Thank God it's not just me" LOL Best of luck to you

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I hate the mess that meals make- so in the nice weather, we picnic as much as possible. Eating outside means only a few containers to wash, and NO mess inside at all! It's nice to get home for nap to a clean(ish) kitchen floor, plus, being outside means no toys to put away...

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

When my kids were that age, yes I felt like I was cleaning up all of the time. That's b/c they have so much stuff from toys to bouncy seats to bibs etc. I remember when they were old enough and we finally were able to get rid of all of the baby/toddler toys in the LR - it was an awesome day. Just remember, every phase is temporary!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

One thing I've done to help cut down on the mess is organize all the kiddo's toys by subject in little totes on a bookshelf. (like pony's, barbies, action figures, etc.) She gets to play with one thing, then has to pick them all up before she can have another one. (sometimes she gets more than one, like when she wants Wolverine to marry Princess Celestia in an epic pony wedding). This really cuts down on the toy mess, I think.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes. I'm only a sahm this time of year (summer vacation) but I do nothing but clean all day if we stay in the house. The only way to not feel that way is to get out of the house. Can't find something to clean if I'm not in it right? And if we are not there, no one is in there messing it up.
Mine are 2 and 5 and a lot of the tasks are related to feeding them and cleaning up after feeding them.

L.C.

answers from Houston on

Yes, oh, yes. And it is frus-trat-ing. Mine are 6,4, and 2. I try and try to get rid of clutter, but there is no end to it! People say not to worry about it too much and just enjoy the kids, but living in never-ending squaller is enough to drive the saintliest person insane!! I wish I could offer some help, but I'm in your same boat.

M.M.

answers from Tucson on

Yes all day. Yes i hate it. Yes im tried of picking up after my kids. I'm sick of doing the same thing everyday. My house is so clean right now cept for the toys all over the living room because i m stressed out. And i cant hardly sit still. ugh

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Oh Lord, yes! I also keep kids in my home, along with my 4 year old and 11 year old and it's CONSTANT!! Dishes from breakfast, sweep, dishes from lunch, sweep again, pick up toys that the kids missed, vacume, make beds, laundry, craft-mess, dinner dishes, etc. It's soooo never-ending.

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Yep...I have a 7 year old(who doesn't really make a mess) and a 9 month old who gets into everything right now! I clean, then look at the mess again 20 minutes later! Somedays, I just let it go! I'm lucky tho...I have an amazing hubby who helps clean when I need a break!

L.P.

answers from Tyler on

I have tried flylady, purchased organizer kits and even had a cleaning lady for a short period of time. My mother in law came to my rescue once when my kids were very young, she told me that she felt bad for children who lived in completely tidy and picked up homes. In her opinion, it only showed that they weren't allowed to play with their toys, or even worse, with their moms. My kids always had many toys and lots of hours with their mom. I'm so grateful for that time with them, my #1 baby will be graduating and leaving for college in a year. It goes by so fast!

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