Safe Cosleeping

Updated on November 22, 2008
L.F. asks from Forest Park, IL
11 answers

hi,
we are transitioning our soon to be 8 month old daughter out of our family bed into her own crib. some nights (well, every night) when she wakes up in the middle of the night we bring her into bed for until we are up for the day.
we have a within arms reach co sleeper but she just figured out how to sit up from lying down, so that is not safe to use anymore right?
we have a queen sized bed with a box spring with headboard and foot board.
do we have to take apart our bed?
how do we safely co sleep?
any supportive, pro-co sleeping advice from co sleeping parents is really really appreciated!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I totally agree with the other poster that you don't need to worry about the bed unless there are big gaps. Most beds now are pretty close to the matress. My d is 7 1/2 months and she sleeps with us, mostly because she outgrew her bassinet and the crib we borrowed had to be given back. She sometimes sleeps in a pack n play but it is just easier at night for feeding. My d is not a big mover so we have never had an issue when she is with us. She sleeps between and I sleep lower in the bed so that I am covered without having to worry about smothering her with the blankets.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Mothering.com has great info and articles about cosleeping as do books by Dr. Sears. Enjoy your night-time snuggles!

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E.H.

answers from Chicago on

I ended up using the co-sleeper as a way to keep baby from falling out. Right next to me in bed (so I was in the middle) and then baby and then co-sleeper. It is GREAT that you know it is not safe for baby to be in the co-sleeper is she can sit up. You may also want to turn it into a pack-n-play and have baby down inside but still right there. The challenge with this is you can't let baby sleep in bed between you and co-sleeper because that is also a long fall should baby roll over too far. Good luck! I LOVED having a family bed with my two. They are both out now. Also...with my son, we gave him a mattress on the floor rather than a crib. My daughter needed the crib. Every child is so different. But if you are interested. You may find some info from Montessori baby/early childhood about mats on the floor.

C.N.

answers from Milwaukee on

We didn't take any extra measures, I would say get rid of the cosleeper and just throw her between the tow of you. My 8 month old is crawling all over and can sit up on her own and we have never had any problems other than waking up to a sitting baby smacking us in the face or kicking us in our sleeps.

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

You could keep her in the middle between you and your husband, or put bedrails on your bed so she won't fall out.

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think you have to adjust your bed at all but I thought I could sleep with my son and it just doesn't work. I still nurse my almost 10 month old son but I put him in his own bed (a crib in his room) and it is great!!! I don't have to worry about any feet in my mouth, scratches and hits from his arms hitting me in my face or my husband putting the pillow over his head. The first couple of days he cried but after he realized I was not coming he started going back to sleep. It is wonderful. I do cuddle with him when he first starts to go to sleep and I might fall off with him, but when I wake up I put him in his bed. Cosleep if you want but I like sleeping with my husband much better!!!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Actually I think they outgrow the cosleeper at around 15 lbs??? You'd have to check the info on the cosleeper. Anyhow, we cosleep with our 8 month old....have since we moved him to his crib at 4 months. All you need to do is make sure you don't have any cracks/crevices she could fall into or get stuck in and then don't pull the blankets up too far (like only to waist level). For ultimate safety, you could put the mattress on the floor if it makes you nervous. I coslept with my older son as well and with him I used this round bolster pillow that strapped on to the bed when he was nursing on the outside edge of the bed to prevent him from rolling off....this one is so "on me" all the time that he would never roll off......he constantly rolls toward me and won't let me take the breast away.

Anyway the pillow is at http://snugtuckpillow.com/theproduct.html. It's great. And I used it for my older son when he transitioned to his own big boy bed as well.

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K.R.

answers from Chicago on

You might want to buy a toddler's mesh guard rail for your side of the bed, just so that you don't worry that the baby will fall off the bed if she happens to be on the outside. Otherwise the 5 "rules" to safe co-sleeping are: 1. Firm mattress 2. No pillows or blankets by baby's face 3. No gap between mattress and headboard/wall where baby could get trapped. 4. You are not smokers. 5. You are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

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D.H.

answers from Springfield on

My husband designed and built a co-sleeper that was level with our bed. With our second child I tried and tried to get her to sleep in her "little section". It didn't work. She wanted to snuggle. After the horrible time we had under gone with our first child, when my second slept for 6 hours tucked in with me at like 2 weeks old, I said co-sleeping is great! She was in our bed for the first 21 months! We have her out now, but she still comes back to bed sometimes when she wakes during the night. I think co-sleeping is totally okay and great. When she was little (6 months & under?) I kept her between me and the co-sleeper. That kept her from rolling off, but away from my husbands heavy hands & tossing and turning. After she was old enough and my husband had adjusted to her being in the bed, she slept between us. The co-sleeper then became a safety measure so Mommy didn't fall (or get pushed) out of bed! The headboard and footboard would have been great for me - once Aeryn got mobile she would slip away from my husband without a sound in the mornings. (I leave for work before they wake up.) Just learn to sleep alittle lighter, be ready to get cramped, willing to get kicked, and sleep like never before with a little warm, loving body snuggled in next to you!

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L., My son is sitting up now too and stood once already. I put up the side of the co-sleeper so he couldn't fall out on the lowered side. I'm also putting him to sleep in his crib and then bringing him to bed when he gets up. I use the co-sleeper sometimes and most times he ends up in bed with me because I'm simply too lazy to stay awake and put him in the co-sleeper. If you still want her in your room and don't want her in your bed you can try a pack-n-play so that the matress is lowered and she can even stand in it without falling out. I did see this really cool product in the book, "Sleeping with your Baby." It was a pad you lay on your bed and had a big tube on one end that would be on the edge of the bed so that way if you want her in your bed but not between you, it prevents them from falling out without using a bed rail. My daughter's bed has a bed rail on it and I hate it! She needs it still otherwise she'd fall out but it's a pain to make the bed with it on and I'm constantly tightening the strap on it. Good luck.
M.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

That is what cribs are for...Put that in your room so at least she learns that she has a bed.

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