Room Sharing

I shared a room with one of my two sisters until I was about 17 years old. I can't say that I always enjoyed it, especially as a teenager, but it was absolutely an important experience in teaching me about negotiation and compromise. I will definitely have my kids share their room when they get old enough.

My two daughters, 3 years apart, shared a room until the oldest was 10. It was well worth it. We did finally separate them when the younger one (messy) couldn't keep her stuff picked up. Now they are both messy, so maybe we should have kept them together! Ha Ha!!

My girls are 3 years apart and have always had a room together.
Although, now that one is 16 (neat freak) and the other is 13 (bring on the mess) there is issues.
We are now in the process of changing our office into a bedroom for the next 2 years.
It is time for the oldest to have her own room so she can slowly get used to not having anyone living with her in the same room.... will make going out on her own or to college a little easier.

HTH

Definately do it! It has so many benefits that outweigh the negative aspects. Our kids all shared rooms (not by choice), but have learned many positive things. They communicate better, they learn to share, they feel safer, and they've grown closer. THe older child can feel so good about being the role model and helping the young brother if he's scared or something. good luck!

My brother and I shared a room my whole childhood will I was 10. Interesting mixing genders too. We had to do it for financial reasons. But what my mom did correctly is make it 'normal'. Most of the things we 'missed out' on we weren't aware of. 'That's just how thiings are'. Focus on the positive, not the negative in your talk. Instead of saying 'don't fight/pout, this is how it is.'; say 'not all brothers get to have this experience! Lucky you guys! This will be fun!' Also, carving out areas for each person is a must. They do need to have a litle of their own space.

Why wait to let them share? Unless the 3 month old excessively cries, start them sharing now. I think it is great for kids to share. You will need to be mindful of how to support your boys so that they don't have a contentous relationship because of the sharing. You will also need to make sure that the room is "baby safe" and soon to be toddler safe.
Congratulations on the little one!

Hello D.,

My sister has two boys and a three bedroom house and they share a room. They are 15 months apart and have shared a room since the youngest was 6 months old. She loves it and says her boys love it too. They talk and sing to each other and stand in their cribs and look at each other but they sleep really well as well. Even when one wakes up crying the other seems to stay asleep. Your boys are further apart in age so it may be a little different but it would definitely be worth a try.

My 2 boys, ages 10 & 6, have always shared a room. Sometimes my 10 yr old complains that he'd like his own room for "privacy," but for the most part, I think having them share is a very good thing.

It is also easier to have them share a room right off the bat, than to give them their own rooms now and then decide later, when they're 9 & 6, that they need to share. It doesn't go over as well then. I tried this approach with my 2 daughters. ;)

I think having your kids share a room is one of the best things you can do for them! They learn so many important life lessons by sharing a room. Compromise, respect, cooperation, and selflessness - just to name a few. I have 4 boys - ages 11, 9, 5 and 12 months old. We have a 5 bedroom home and believe it or not, my 3 oldest boys ALL share a room. They WANT to share a room! We weren't sure at first, but they all insisted, so we got them a twin over full bunk bed with a trundle. We love that they want to be together and it works out great for us! They are actually talking about when their baby brother gets bigger how fun it's going to be for him to start sleeping in with them! Ha! I'm not sure that that's going to happen, but who knows?? My boys are all the best of friends. They want to do everything together and spend all of their free time playing and having adventures with each other. It might not last, so we're enjoying it while it does. I can only hope that this brotherly bond endures throughout their lives! I say put your boys together now and let the fun begin!

My kids share a room (boy just turned 5 and girl 3 1/2). We weren't going to do it, but when we were looking at beds for my son, they started playing on bunkbeds and loved it! So we got them, and they're doing very well with it. Some arguments, of course, but usually we listen in on them in the mornings just chatting and having a great time. If you set firm rules and they know not to get out of bed, you should be ok - but it will take some practice of course. When they get to the age where it's not appropriate for a boy and girl to share, my son will get his own room and my youngest daughter will move in with her sister. It's great to have that extra room that we weren't expecting, b/c in the beginning we had planned for each to have his or her own room. This was the kids' idea, so it made it even better. Good luck!

Hi D.,

I have two boys 15 months apart. They have shared a room since my youngest was 6 months old. It has been great for us. It has taught our boys to share and to compromise. Some nights one wants a special treat to watch tv in bed and the other one does not. They have to talk it out between the two to come up with a decision. And i have seen both give in to the other. Sometimes it does make going to bed a challenge. They will lay in their beds and talk and giggle. Which is fun for us to listen to. And sometimes they fight. But in the end I think it has broght them together and they have build a bond that will never be broken. They are truly best friends. If you let them share a room they will make memories that they will always talk about even with their own children.

Good luck!

We are also in the same situation - my daughter just turned three and I'm expecting a boy in February. We have a 3 bedroom house and due to the desire to keep one bedroom an office/guest room and also due to heating limitations in the office we are planning on them sharing a room. It is nice to read responses from others whose kids of different genders share a room. I think my daughter is actually looking forward to it, but we will see. My husband is a quadruplet, so really never has had his own room and feels it is a good thing to share - as do I. Good luck!

We have 3 boys 14, 11, and 6. The oldest 2 shared a room until the oldest turned 10 and really wanted his own room. The younger 2 then moved in together and it went well, until my middle son got to be 10, and felt like that was the age to get your own space. We have 5 bedrooms, but I think it's really been a good experience for the boys to share and spend special time together. It was actually a little hard for the youngest when his brother wanted to move out!

L. C.

Hello!
We have the same situation right now. Our daughters are 3 years and 3 months apart. We moved the baby into the kids bedroom when she was around 4 months old. For the most part that works pretty well. The only thing we run into especially on the weekend, is that they have overlapping nap times. For that reason we still have a playard setup in our bedroom so we can put the baby down while older is still asleep. This also helped when baby had a cold and was coughing a lot and also when she would wake up in the early AM hours for a bottle. I would put her back to sleep in the playard so the older would not wake her up again when she woke up not too long after.
Getting them to bed varies and we have different strategies since baby's schedule is still fluctuating depending on how much she slept at day care. Over time our oldest got used to some sounds and sleeps through some crying.
In the beginning our oldest even caught a stomach bug and was throwing up from midnight until 4 or so. I changed her and the bed 3-4 times, but the baby slept through all of that.
It is really cute when they wake up at about the same time in the morning and talk back and forth, having great time!
So, it is doable, with a little flexibility from all involved. Hope it works for you!

D.

Sharing is okay while they are young but they will eventually want their own rooms - don't get too attached to an office until they are grown and gone to college. Privacy is big deal.

Hi D.,
Our two boys (4 and 2) share a room for exactly the same reasons you mentioned. We moved the baby's crib into the older son's room when he was about one year old and had been sleeping through the night consistently for some months.

We have a few small issues: like the baby still has to nap in the pack-and-play in a separate room during the day, or they keep each other up, and it was work to get them both to sleep at night in the summer (still light in their room with the curtains closed until almost 8:30 at night: haha!).

But we just take it as it comes, and we've gotten all the rewards of having two boys who just love being together, and are *learning* to share!

Good luck!
t