A friend of mine who is married has been contacted by an ex and wants to meet up just to catch up. She has agreed to do so, but is not going by herself. She has another friend going with her and they are meeting at a public place. Do you think this is okay or asking for trouble? Oh, she has told her husband about it and he is aware that this will take place. She actually discussed it with him before agreeing to meeting up with ex. She is being very open with her husband about it and is not going behind his back at all. Also, the ex knows that she is married. Could all of this just be innocent?
Yes, I believe men and woman can be friends. The reason this is different is because she has not talked to this guy for over 14 years.
Oh goodness. I'm friends with all my ex's, including my ex-husband. It's good to be friends and talk about old times. What good does it even do for you to waste precious time thinking about this?
as long as her husband knows about it and is ok with it and she is completely honest with him, then I see nothing wrong with it.
I think it is fine, as long as she isnt hiding anything. She discussed it with her husband. If he said he wasnt comfortable with it that would be a different story.
I am still friends with my ex after years of not talking to him. We reconnected on FB. I have actually invited his whole family to stay at my house if they want to vacation here, and he has offered the same. We are grown ups and can make grown up decisions.
I don't see a problem with this. She's not going alone. Her husband is fine with it.
I was very close with one of my exes. We were better friends than romantic partners and we both moved on to relationships with other people, but maintained our close friendship. To me, it's really not that strange.
It IS possible for it all to be innocent.
It's not wrong, in my opinion.
Why would you be worried about it?
She's not hiding anything from her husband per your post so I see nothing wrong with it. Sounds like she and her husband have pretty good communication to me.
As for women and men being friends, gees... yes. Some of my best friends are men and yes my hubby knows. My daughter (17) also relates well to men and some of her best friends are guys.
I think as long as she and her husband are both ok with it, it shouldn't be a problem. Don't go borrowing trouble.
I think this is OK because the husband was a part of the decision to go and because she's taking a friend with her. This keeps everything in the open.
I think she's asking for trouble.
I don't think it is a problem since she talked to her husband about it first.
I'm friends with about half my exes (there's a reason I dated them to begin with! As long as the reason wasn't that they were good in bed... it's NICE to get the benes; aka the friendship, without the hassel of why we broke up! Aka the romantic part), and I catch up with old friends that I haven't seen in years all the time.
Her husband doesnt care.... why should anyone else?
I just spent the whole day with my ex. I have even stayed the night in his home.
We got divorced for a reason so there is no issue to me. His wife and my hubby were there too. Pluse 5 out of 7 grandkids, one ex of the daughter, and one son of the ex's wife.
It was like an odd little party. I think if they want to meet up and everyone thinks it's okay then they should, if she is feeling this odd about the whole thing then I would tell her to not do anything more than a casual contact by email or FB, she seems uncomfortable and not really a good fit for this meeting.
It's definitely okay to still be friends with an ex... an ex of mine and I lost touch for about 6 years. Then I made a friend and I find out her boyfriend was my ex!! We are all friends now and they are married and have 3 kids. It's not weird for anyone and I enjoy hearing that he is doing so well!
I think as long as the husband is okay and knows then who cares! Let them catch up! :-)
Right.
My husband and I have met with our exes on several occasions. Together or alone, nothing has ever happened because we would never allow it. I think its great that they are mature enough to remain friends after a break up, that tells me that they had a beautiful relationship that they are very fond of, but are aware that their time together has passed, but still care about how each other is doing on life. I do think that is a great thing.
If the husband was part of the decision, and has said he's ok with it, AND she's taking a friend, then yeah, it's fine.
If she and her husband are ok with it, why are you worried? Do you think men and women can be friends?
Actions speak louder than words. Obviously she still has feelings for the guy and is curious to see him again. She may also just want to be vindicated if he did her wrong years ago (e.g. "See what you're missing out on?"). Encourage your friend to let things lie they way they are and NOT meet him.. What's the point? Is she looking for a new friend? Let her find someone she hasn't slept with.
I know that if my ex (whom I was married to for 13 years) contacted me to meet, I'd wouldn't give him the time of day. I'm now re-married and am VERY clear on where my feelings lie.
Besides, it really puts her husband in a weird spot. Where is her respect for her husband? How is it going to make him feel....really. "Yeah, my wife is out meeting her ex over coffee." Guys just dream about this happening to their wives....NOT!
Ladies, don't be fooled. Guys will say that it doesn't bother them, but deep down the resentment will eat them up...and that never goes down a good road.
Be respectful of your significant other and consider how you would feel if all of sudden out of the blue, his ex popped up and wanted to meet him (even knowing that he's married). Honestly, would you be OK with it...never even caring WHY he would want to meet up with her?
"Her husband doesn't care." Well, that's a statement that she should be concerned with.
Sounds like everyone involved know everything they need to know. I don't see a problem.
I think it's fine, she isn't trying to hide anything. I have recently become very good friends with guys I went to high school with, (longer than 14 years ago) one of them is helping me write a book, and 2 out of 3 of them are happily married.
You can feel it would be wrong for you, but it's her choice and it seems as if she's handling it in the best possible way.
I think it is ok to meet up w/ an old friend (even if you once dated). If they were doing it behind her husband's back and alone, I would say it is not ok. As, and if hubby is ok w/ it, I seem no harm.
I don't think it has to be a big deal. My ex from high school found me on FB after almost 20 years and asked to meet for lunch to catch up. I know we weren't married, but he was my first love, and my husband knew him since he and I started dating right after my ex and I broke up. Of course I asked my husband if it was ok first. It was mostly out of curiosity to find out how he was. I had always wondered what became of him. And I'm so glad I went because that little part of you that wonders "whAt if" found out that I had definitely made the right decision. We occasionally chat on FB now, but that's the extent of our contact, and always will be going forward.
If she is not hiding it from her husband then she is doing nothing wrong. Now, should the ex and the husband NOT meet soon then I would become concerned.
Interesting. I would have less of an issue with it if she had gone to meet up with her former boyfriend and taken her husband along and the former boyfriend were taking his current love interest as well.
I'm curious why your friend feels the need to have a chaperone.
If her husband doesn't mind, I don't mind. Seems like a lot of "to do about nothing" -on her part I mean. Really? Bringing a chaperone, asking her husband....seems a little too important to her. I think it's bad idea, but my experiences are my own.
My opinion.....an ex is an "ex" for a reason. You don't have to wish them ill will, but you don't have to meet up with them. I disapprove to meet up, especially when you're married. That's showing no respect for yourself or your spouse. How would she like it if her current husband did this? She
needs to ask herself that one.
I think it's asking for trouble; but if she has told her husband, I have less of a problem with it. I still think it's probably pretty stupid, because old flames can become rekindled. Still, it would be better for her to take along her husband, rather than a friend.
I think it depends on what their relationship was at the time they split up. If it was mutual and there wasn't drama and wierdness, I think it's okay. If there's a wierd vibe, or by accepting she feels he will get the wrong impression than I don't necassarily think it's wrong, just not wise. Also, since her husband is okay with it I think it's okay.
