Returning to Work Worries

Hi L.,

I was also 38 when I had my first. I'm a sales rep, so I have control of my schedule for the most part, but it sometimes includes overnights, or shows where I have to be away for a few days.

-On Dad and baby bonding - Have him start giving her a few bottles now. You can then pump at your leisure, and they can start having some of that blessed snuggle time.

-On baby not always drinking alot - she knows when her tummy is full. You can then pump the other side. As she gets older, she will drink more, and the time will stretch out.

-On the fatigue - Yes, it will get better!

-On pumping at work - I have pumped in the oddest places! I had quite the routine in airport bathrooms (carried a scarf at all times), finding a secluded office or meeting room, and (having the handy car adaptor) will always laugh about driving while pumping, and praying that I wouldn't get pulled over for something. One becomes very resourceful.

-On making it easy for hubby - I used to freeze the milk in ice cube trays. It then makes it pretty easy to measure how many cubes baby will want at a certain time. Hubby can figure this out, and it will give him some ownership in the process.

-On me...I managed to breast feed both of my daughters for nearly 18 months. I grew to love it. I have several occasions etched on my brain... Middle of the night, all quiet and the moon peeking through my window, baby snuggled at my breast, and those fantastic happy endorphins racing through my brain saying 'this is one of the best moments of my life!' And it was.

Hugs!

L.

Hi L.,
I felt the same way you did when I was preparing to go back to work. Here are some helpful tips that worked for us. I was told not to give my son the bottle at all--just let daddy do it. The lactation consultants I spoke to also suggested having daddy offer the bottle before the baby is super hungry because she might get confused and really frustrated which will cause a lot of frustration for everyone. Our son only took a very little bit from the bottle at first (maybe 1 ounce at a time). Don't be surprised if your little one adjusts her big meals for when you get home. You might want to leave your pajama top available for your husband so he has something that smells like you--it might help sooth the baby. Also, take some time for yourself before you go back to work and leave the baby with daddy for some bonding time. It might be hard, but it is good for everyone. Try to take it easy and make sure that you take care of yourself (healthy diet, sleep, exercise, praying).

God Bless You. I wish you the best during the difficult transition.

Has she tried a bottle yet? It may be a little bit of a struggle if she hasn't had a bottle before, but it can be done! I would start right away to get her ready for your return to work. I wouldn't feed her the bottle yourself. I would have your husband do it, and I would stay out of the room to avoid any confusion.

Also, have you tried feeding her from one side only per feeding? We did this with our reflux baby so that she would get more hindmilk per feeding. We tried this when having problems in the beginning, and I ended up continuing feeding her this way. At first, you may be lopsided, but you'll even out as the baby gets older. :o)

You're doing a great thing by continuing to pump when you go back to work. It is not easy but well worth it in the end. Good luck!

Congratulations on your beautiful baby. it's good to ask other mothers for tips on how to manage the back to work transition. You will get as many different answers as number of women who respond. Keep in mind that you will find your own rhythm and routine and things will work out. Your plan may look different than other mothers, but it will be unique to you and your family.

I would recommend the book Hirkani's Daughters. It's a book about mixing work with breastfeeding. It contains many inspiring stories and tips. Also, it would be helpful to tap into the local La Leche League group in your area. go to www.llli.org to find a group in your area. Many women who attend LLL are working mothers and have managed the same problem you are facing. Support from other mothers is key in helping you to feel good about the decisions you make. Good luck and keep us all posted on how your daugher manages the change.

I haven't had to do it, but it comes up a lot at breastfeeding support group at the hospital. Here's what the LC's always say...

Let your husband be the first to give a bottle. This should be around 4-6 weeks old after breastfeeding is established. Leave the room or even the house so baby doesn't see you and just want the real thing.
Leave an undershirt or t-shirt you sleep in that smells like you. Daddy can either wrap baby in it or even wrap it around the bottle.
Have him feed just 1/2-1oz and stop to burp. Then another bit and so on. Babies will down a bottle in NO TIME because it's so easy and then they can have stomach trouble and caregivers think they are still hungry because they ate so quickly. Never feed more than the baby nurses or you won't be able to keep up with pumping.
Leaving her with daddy will be much easier on both you and her than a stranger, so you have that going for you:)

As for feeding frequency...lots of babies eat every 2 hours for months, even the whole first year. As long as she is growing and having lots of wet and poopy diapers, she's getting enough, so don't worry about that:) If you want to try to lengthen time between feeding, spend a few days waiting 15 minutes more, then a few days another 15 minutes more until you are where you want to be. My son was up every 2 hours all night (some times more often) until we got him out of the PnP in our room at 8 months. Now he's just up twice a night. It could be your sleeping arrangement, but really, I think it's her age. Sleep will come. You could have your husband give one bottle during the night.

My boys have never taken both sides. Actually, it's more natural to single-side nurse (they've studies of other countries who aren't taught HOW to nurse and most just feed one side each feeding). The baby gets more hind milk this way and that could also keep her satisfied longer.

That was a long response. I guess the only other suggestion I have is find a support group. Your hospital may have one, or find your local La Leche League chapter (llli.org). It's important to keep in touch with women going through the same things who can answer questions when they come up.
Good Luck!! :)

I know how you feel about going back to work. I was at home for the first 3 months with our oldest, and my husband couldn't stand it that when he'd get home, I'd want to get out if for just 30 minutes to be alone, and she'd scream the whole time. SO - he started doing the bath's and the bedtime routine. It took a few days, but after that, going to Daddy wasn't an issue.

You might consider getting her a buddy - teddy bear or rabbit or something. Our oldest has a purple bear, and our youngest has a pink dolly - they're both very soft, and they both like snuggling up with them. When we had our oldest in daycare, they said they couldn't believe how attached she was to her buddy and how much it helped that she had one.

(Can't help much with the breastfeeding issue...we weren't able to make that work.)

For what it's worth...

It's very normal to be nervous about returning to work and worrying about your baby, I cried my eyes out with my first one. Just remember it's a lot easier on them then it is on the mom! I just had my second though and this is my third week back to work. I started my daughter out on a bottle; I figured she was going to eat better for me then anyone else. It took her about a week to figure out the nipple flow (she would spit up/throw up a lot). I can say at 2 months old though she eats 5 oz. pretty regularly and sleeps around 6 hour stretches at night. I prefer the bottle in this respect b/c she doesn't fall asleep with it and I can see how much she's eating. (I met with a lactation consultant and discovered she was not actually eating very much even though she was nursing for what seemed like forever.) Each child is different, just try it and keep your options open. They adapt pretty quickly.
If you're pumping while away you are probably going to be storing it?? I love the lansinoh storage/freezer bags!!