Returning to Work Nerves!

Updated on September 04, 2008
N.A. asks from North Andover, MA
6 answers

Hi! I was wondering if you could share your experiences of returning to work. I moved to the US from New Zealand 2 1/2 years ago, and now that I have my Green Card I have decided to return to a career outside the home. I have a fabulous job lined up, which I start in 10 days, but I'm suddenly doubting my decision. I've got a great daycare center for my 2-year-old, and my 7-year-old loves her summer camp and her school. I have employed a nanny to pick my girls up in the afternoons (bring them home, then feed and bath them for me) who my 7yo adores and I think she is great with both the girls. So why am I suddenly so nervous?? Any tips or insights?? Thanks, N.

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

Hi N.! I actually teach a course in Women's Psychology and most of the research suggests that the factors that matter most in children's adjustment to mom's working is the quality of childcare (which it sounds like you have arranged) and mom's own happiness and satisfaction (which it sounds like your job can bring). Chances are if you feel good and enjoy your work outside the home, your children will benefit...this is especially beneficial for young girls to have mom's as role models in the workplace.

I also have read and recommend a great book that addresses these issues called "The Birth of a Mother" by Daniel N. Stern & Nadia Bruschweiler-Stern

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M.S.

answers from Boston on

I went back to work when my daughter was 3 months. I cried the first two nights as I drove into work. It was so hard for me. I was used to being there for her every move. She is 6 months now and aside from getting no sleep (I work at night) I have adjusted. I actually like my time at work to do other things other than changing poopy diapers. I can use a different part of my brain rather than my mom brain that I use during the day. Everyone will adjust. It may take some time. You will probably learn to appreciate the time you have with the girls more after not seeing them all the time. You are also lucky that one of your daughters is 7. If there is something she doesn't like about the nanny, she is old enough to tell you. Good luck...just breath!

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

I'm in total agreement with Sheree S.

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Mommy guilt. My mom worked a lot when I was a kid, and I asked her how she did it without feeling bad. She said "I reminded myself that dads are away from their kids all the time, that people expect that and think its normal, and kids still really love their dads." I found that helpful. Good luck with the adjustment! I'm sure everyone will do great!

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S.S.

answers from New London on

I think any time you change something in your daily life you're going to get nervous.
I went back to work 6 weeks after my daughter was born with the expectations that I would be working from home 2 days a week right off the bat. Unfortunately it took 2 months to get everything set up for me to do that. It took me a couple of weeks to get adjusted to being back at work. It was hard, but with time, it got better.
Give yourself some time. Once you get back into the swing of things with working and getting adjusted to your new schedule, I think you'll be fine. If not, that's ok too. At least you're giving it a shot!
Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Bangor on

Hi N., I was scared to returning to work. My nerves where shot. Then I said that I wasn't going to go back to work so I looked for something at home. so that my daughter wouldn't be away from both of her parents all day long that is a lot for 1 child to take in and with you husband being gone 50% of the time it is even harder for not only them but you too. So if you interested in staying home let me know.

Good Luck
A.
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