Resentment Towards Dad-update (Also Long)

ok guys so i posted earlier this week about my dad i will not go into much more detail but i'm deciding quick to keep my communication limited if at all with him. I typed up a letter that i'm unsure if i will send, but here it is. thanks for reading it if you do, it is long. Please don't tell me i'm being childish like some of the posts previously stated, ESPECIALLY if you never had a parent walk out on you, it is an empty feeling that can never be filled. thanks for reading and responding if you do

Dad
I am writing this because I’m seriously frustrated with you. This is the only way I can think to let you know because I just don’t feel like I can talk to you right now.
Why did you only send Christmas to dd and I? That is not fair to sd’s. Really, it is just making you look like you do not accept dh and you are taking out your problem with him on the girls. I know you feel like he’s broken a promise to you, I don’t see it to be honest and I could care less if I convince you otherwise, it’s a waste of time and worthless to me and I really don’t care anymore. The fact of the matter is, regardless what your problems are with dh he is STILL my husband and I still stand beside him. I married him and committed to him WE promised God and are holding true to our promises, THAT should count for something and I’m seriously surprised that as a preacher, you don’t acknowledge that and find forgiveness. Don’t tell me you have forgiveness because every time I talk to you I can hear that anger in your voice. I understand you being upset, but that’s the EXACT reason I still keep that on the down low because I don’t need that extra negativity and right now, you are my main source of that.
However, if “broken promise” is your issue, let me remind you of the car you told me you were going to give me and did not, let me remind you of the wii you told me last year you were going to get my family for Christmas and let me remind you of the shopping for school clothes you told brother’s ex wife you’d do for neice.
Also, 2 years ago you called my house so upset because you missed my birthday (felt good to hear that hurt in your voice) but this year all I get is a post from smom on Facebook. Not that I don’t appreciate HER efforts, I expected at least a phone call from YOU. Plus you missed dd’s birthday again, and I honestly can’t think of a birthday she’s had yet that you have not missed (I may be wrong).
Speaking of birthday’s you have not made it to ONE of dd’s birthday’s, called sd’s for theirs and now you’re missing mine (if it’s because you do not know the dates, all it takes is a simple call to ask).
I’m also upset with you because you never seem to find the time to come visit me and my family any more. You came to visit brother only and you made it very clear that’s why you were here, and I gave you your space. However, after you and brother had your discussion you then went and hung out with your foster parents but it was “bubba and I are going…” Dad I felt very hurt by the fact that the offer wasn’t even made-I wouldn’t have gone, but the offer from you would’ve been nice, but thank God he made sure I was ok or went if I could.
A few years ago, right after dh and I got together you told me you would not worry about sd’s for Christmas because they already have grandparents. I soooo hoped you were not serious, but you proved to me this year that you were. To me, that’s like saying “you’re not blood therefore not acknowledged.” Or you are coming and going as you please with them.
I feel like I’m the only one who really makes an effort to have a relationship with you. I say this because in the 10 years I’ve talked to you, I can count on 1 hand how many times you’ve come to visit me and Danny, just for and not visiting someone else and “squeezing us/me in”.
I have tried and tried and tried to just blow it off but I can’t any more, especially after you picked and chose who in my household you wanted to give to and left the rest out. THEN you miss both mine and dd’s birthday.
I don’t care anymore if you break promises to me or fail to go through with what you told me you would do, because I’m learning to expect that from you and as an adult I can now take it. However, you will not continue to do this to my family. I remember too well, how it felt to be standing at that door way as a child on a dark rainy night crying, staring out the front door next to bubba cause our dad never showed up, and these things you keep promising me feel like that all over again and I will not go through it again, and I will not allow that to happen to my kids.
My kids love you, you are fun to be around but if anything comes up that requires money out of your pocket I’ve learned it’s hard to expect you to pull through with it.
I told you a long time ago I forgive you for the past, and the choices you made when we were children, but in a sense this is kind of like repeating a sin you know is wrong, asking for forgiveness but continuing to commit the crime. Something on that subject you said to me once was if you continue to do it you obviously don’t mean it when you ask to be forgiven. I would like to say the same about this whole issue.
Please don’t call me about this; I really don’t want to talk to you over the phone about this. dh and I are both very upset with you and need time to think.
As far as the holiday’s you need to make sure you do something for everyone if you do anything for anyone, even if it’s just a simple phone call. I will not accept gifts if my entire family is not included anymore, it’s not fair to me or my kids.