Remark the Daycare Worker Said to Me This Morning

she had the gall to complain about having extra work scrubbing vomit off carpets!
you just can't find good servants any more.
khairete
S.

Honestly, that's probably not how she planned to spend her day. While you may pay good money who expects to have to clean puke out of carpets. Even as parents we never expect it, it happens, but it's not like we go around planning for it.

No I wouldn't take offense. In fact, I probably would have been apologetic on my son's behalf about the whole thing. Cleaning up puke of any kind just sucks. Just let it go.

As a daycare provider who has cleaned up puke, snot, diarrhea and had personal items destroyed, I can say, be appreciative. I don't know the relationship you have w/ her or hers w/ your child, so that does matter, but if I had a day like that (which happens regularly, since I watch lil ones) I will tell a mom what I did, but not because I am looking for compliments or griping, but to let them know that I do my job and do it well...and all of them appreciate me and respect me. They also offer to replace what's broken (I do not accept it, but appreciate the offers) and apologize for me having to clean up yucky poops or puke. Again, I do not expect an apology, these things happen w/ lil ones, but it sure is nice!

If I had a parent who actually got mad at me for telling them what I had to go through, I would consider dropping that family. I work too hard and too long and make less than minimum wage when all is said and done, to be disrespected by a parent who's child I love like my own. Sorry, I didn't meant to turn this into "all about me" but wanted to give you a different perspective. And like someone else said, it's hard to judge this w/out knowing the tone of the conversation. Hopefully, your lil one is feeling better and there won't be too many messy days!

I was in the 2s room for the longest time. We had one kid who threw up on a Friday. I had plans that night to go out with my husband. (The first time in nearly 6 months that we were going out.) I spent an extra two hours cleaning vomit out of the play rug in my classroom. That included trying to keep the other kids occupied so I could get the room completely disinfected. (Because when a kid vomits, you then have to disinfect everything!) The center closes at 630pm and I'm expected to have everything done and be out of there by 7pm. Instead, I was there until 730pm and had to deal with my boss snapping at me. We missed our movie, and instead ended up going home so I could take a shower.

Give her a break. She doesn't enjoy cleaning up your child's vomit. Do you think it's fun cleaning vomit out of the carpet? (I'm not saying that she was ok to bring it up. You don't say if she asked about your child. I'm just explaining that if a mom were to come on here and complain about cleaning up vomit, no one would bat an eyelash and probably join in on griping. You're told in childcare industry that parents expect you to take better care of their kids then they would.)

Just because someone is paid good money to look after a child it doesn't mean they must pretend to enjoy cleaning up vomit. As a mother who has had to clean up my own fair share of vomit I would have absolutely sympathized with the daycare worker. I'm sure that is all she was looking for, a little sympathy and acknowledgment.
ETA: I would expect my boss to say "Sorry you had to stay late on Friday. I really appreciate it. Thanks." I wouldn't work for an employer otherwise.

I think she was making idle onversation yet wanted you to know your son was the topic of conversation for her Friday afterwork vent sessions.
Psshhh.
If you cleaned his barf up last friday at home, you'd say the same thing to the first person that would listen I'm sure.
It's nothing... you probably just should have said "Thank you for having to put for that extra effort, I appreciate it, and he's feeling much better now.."

Why are you upset? I don't understand, to be honest. She knew your son was well enough for you to bring him back - it's been a whole weekend. It's not her fault your child was sick. You pay her to watch your child. Why is admitting that she had to scrub her carpets something that would offend you? Do you think you pay her for scrubbing carpets? You don't, quite frankly. That IS the hazard of her watching kids in her house. But just because it "comes with the territory" doesn't mean that she has to LIKE it.

It would have been nice if you would have said that you were sorry about her having to do that. Instead, you are pissed that she said anything. If she were your maid, working in YOUR house, it would have been inappropriate for her to say anything. But this was HER house, HER carpet, and she is not paid to scrub carpets.

Dawn

be happy there are people out there paid good money that clean up your kids throw up since you don't do it yourself.

I think it was just a statement. Though it might be an expected part of the job, cleaning vomit out of carpets at the end of the day, on a Friday no less, is a bummer. My parents are usually more horrified when their kids throw up on my than I am.
And , I'm not trying to be snide but if you expect her to be more professional in her comments don't call her the daycare lady. You might pay good money and expect great care, but a little respect is also nice.

Yeah, I don't know anyone that wakes up in the morning thinking, "Hey, I wonder if some kid is going to puke on my carpet today."

Granted, I don't know either of you, but I'm thinking the worker was fishing for a, "Thank you." But apparently, she should be thankful that she has the privilege of cleaning up after your kid.

You're "pissed"? About a truthful comment?
Really?
I think you have always had issues with your daycare(s) and are being too thin skinned.

People have bad days--and cleaning vomit, no matter who's it is would make for a bad day for me. If my child vomited on someone else's stuff I would have offered to help or have it cleaned. Maybe she was out of line but hopefully you thanked her a little extra on Friday or this morning.

well, flip it....did you expect her to say, "We had fun cleaning the carpets after your son threw up"? Seriously, yeah, she could have NOT said her comment....but she was sharing the truth with you. :)

After reading your back posts on your daycare issues, my advice: relax! Life's too short to find offense at every turn. :) Peace.

No, you shouldn't say anything. With comments like these, IF you are going to say anything, you should say it in the moment. And it doesn't require giving her a piece of your mind. She was out of line, but you have an opportunity to keep it from turning into something big by recognizing that she was, however inappropriately, venting her frustration, the kind of frustration that could be felt by anybody in the same position. This is an opportunity for you to be gracious, maybe offer a little apology if you feel bad or just sympathize if you don't. No need to turn it into a big deal.

She was just making a comment. Like you, she was expecting Friday to end and then she could relax. Work week over. She was not expecting to have to scrub carpets. Just a statement. Not sure why you are pissed. If you came home Friday after working all week and had to scrub carpets, would you be is singing "Whistle While You Work." I don't think so and I am sure if someone came in you too would mention it. She is human.

I'm guessing it was a "what a friday!" comment.

I wouldn't worry about it. I do think she was maybe making conversation. I know you are a bit offended by her comment but what do you think about maybe just getting her a little bag of candy or something as a Thank You. I would totally appreciate that if I had a kiddo that had vomited and I had to clean up the mess. I understand that is her job and you are paying her well but she is watching your kiddo while you can't because you are at work. To me, I'd like to keep the person who is watching my kid happy. I know someone compared it to your boss asking you to stay late and you wouldn't say something but if you stayed late for your job, you would get compensated extra and she likely didn't. I would be defensive too if someone said something about my kiddo but I do hope he/she is feeling better.

I think you are taking it the way you did because it may feel as though she's blaming your poor baby for being/getting sick. She may have felt compelled to say something because while you were rightfully concerned about your child, she may have hoped you would have offered to help clean the mess or make an additional compensation for the the cleaning or at the very least express some sympathy toward her regarding the situation. Puke is not only disgusting to clean, it is a very difficult smell to be rid of. Her house probably still smells "vomi-trocious".

In my experience, people don't show appreciation for good child care the way they should. I don't know if this is the case with you and I'm not assuming it is. Please take a step back though and try to imagine being in her position. You said you pay her good money for the care, imagine something at your own job that may have gone beyond the usual call of duty and think of how you'd want your employer to interact with you for handling a difficult situation well. Would you want them to have an attitude that essentially says that you should suck it up because they pay you "good money"?

I would take it as just a comment. She might've said, "The code didn't load right and I spent my Friday afternoon fixing it instead of going to Happy Hour" or "The car got a flat and I spent the afternoon waiting for AAA" or anything that might derail your day. I wouldn't hold it against her.

I don't even see what you are upset over. She commented that she wasn't expecting to have to scrub carpets on Friday night. What's the problem? You are way overly sensitive

I think the issue is over-sensitivity, as much of the world isn't going to be sensitive to making sure you aren't upset.

Unless her tone was super nasty (which you didn't say here), I would have felt bad and commented, "Thanks so much and I know that couldn't have been a great way to kick off the weekend, so I do apologize."

Sure, it's part of the job, but NOBODY likes to clean up someone else's vomit.

One of the things that never comes through in our messages on this board is "tone of voice". And that itself is very subjective. One person may hear light-hearted banter & sharing of experience, while another hears snarkiness & blaming. So much depends on our mood at the time we hear something from another person.
I would give the benefit of the doubt & think that she didn't mean anything by it, & let it go. You've had a stressful morning, & that is plenty to color anyone's perspective of what someone else says to them!! =-)

Nobody likes cleaning up puke, but never would have said anything to Mom or Dad like that. I would have asked how the weekend went and if your son is feeling better, etc.

I agree that it was an inappropriate comment, but I think she was probably just venting (although you would think she'd be over by now!!).

M

Too late. And next time - yeah, thanks so much for taking care of him Friday and yes, he is feeling so much better. Since yes - cleaning vomit sucks. But her real concern should be how your child is feeling.

I think your over sensitive. I picked my 1st grader up last week, not early mind you, with a note pinned to his shirt saying "I threw up and can't come to school tomorrow" I don't think she ment any harm maybe she was just stating that she didnt expect to wax and clean carpets after work. No big deal. I say stuff like that all the time.

Ouch! But if it were me, I'd calm down and think about it before I say anything back.

Sounds as if the daycare worker was simply venting about a long, hard day, and the vent hit you in the face like a cream pie.

Venting has its social difficulties, especially on the job. But considering that about every third post on Mamapedia is a vent, we know that being angry out loud is a very common thing to do.

When somebody says something like that, you can do either of two things: you can get mad, or you can get curious. If you get mad, you'll do some venting yourself, blow off steam similar to the steam you were given, make somebody else unhappier than you are, and that's it - you've closed off any other possibilities. If you can get curious, you can possibly learn some things you didn't know before.

Maybe this afternoon, if that lady is still there when you pick up your son, you can say, in a friendly way, "I hope today went better than Friday...? No more carpet-scrubbing? That *is* a miserable way to end a week." Listen to what she says. If she smiles, or even apologizes for her vent, you've learned something good. If she is still venting - well, you've learned something else.

And there are surely things you don't know about last Friday; maybe that woman finished with the yucky rug and went home to more sick family members, or a mailbox full of overdue bills, or a number of other things that could keep her resentful on Monday. It's still too bad that she took it out on you. However, she's a person just like you and I are.

If the crummy attitude becomes a habit with this lady, I'd talk to the boss about it. But not now.

Well I know when I had a stomach bug go thru my three kids recently I might have said that about my own! Cleaning puke is very unpleasant. She probably just likes you and was just talking freely. I wouldn't worry about it.

Well, how did she say it? Was she saying it in a light, joking way, or was she full of attitude or anger?

I'm going to guess that you're being too sensitive. She stated a fact - no one likes to clean up barf, especially at the end of a week. What a way to end the week, no? Would you want to do that?

I am one to pick my battles and this would not be anything I'd be upset about or complain about. However, if you do want to make a fuss about it, then go ahead, but you're on you're way to being "that" mom if you do.

it would have defiantly rubbed me the wrong way. at our day care they let us know right away to come pick up the sick child. then the child is in the front office (away from others and given the one on one attention that is needed for the child). Its the same as complaining about a child having a number two accident and they complain (this isnt how I wanted to spend my morning cleaning clothes) . IDK if I would DO anything about it other than file it in my memory and if another issue comes up that is a rude statement...depending on what it is i would either tell them sorry were going to a diff daycare or really put her back to reality and question if this is the job she would actually want to be doing. taking CARE of kids???

Same with the home daycare. The smaller home daycare my child got sick ONE time with a tummy issue. I was notified right away and never heard a complaint about it.

I wouldn't say anything to her. I would let it go.

It also greatly depends on how it was said. Was she smiling and cheerful and just being matter-of-fact, or was she rolling her eyes and acting like your son is an inconvenience.

She honestly was probably just whining a little, hoping for some sympathy. And don't we all need that at our job sometimes? But.....she probably shouldn't have said it to you. Her venting should be done elsehwere, imo.

Her proper response should have been : "Oh hi little joey, I hope you are feeling better!"

But alas, we cannot make people say what they should.

ETA: To those that are saying this is ok behavior, let me give you another example. Say my boss makes me stay late on Friday night to work on a difficult project, and come Monday morning, I gripe/whine to him "boy, I sure didn't expect to spend my weekend here!" Um, not appropriate. It is my job and while it may suck, my complaints should be voiced NOT the person who employs me (as would be the mother here, essentially) but to someone like my husband or friend.

Just because someone dislikes an aspect of their job doesn't make it appropriate to voice that to the employer. You think the mom posting this didn't feel bad enough that her kid was sick, had to get sick NOT with mom and had to be cleaned up after by someone else? The day care provider doesn't have to make her feel worse. Again, it is ok to feel irritated about an aspect of your job, but what does pointing it out again the next morning to the mom really accomplish?

Does no one else here think that comment was unprofessional? Would you accept that kind of complaining from someone working in another industry?

I think the right thing for her to do would have been to ask how your son is today and hope he is better.

The comment, although a touch snotty, was probably an attempt to get under your skin... If you feel guilty enough, maybe you'll ante up and pay for her cleaning which I don't feel is necessary because throwing up is not something a 3 year old can keep under control.

Also, I am not a daycare provider but "he threw up all over the place"?? Most people make arrangements for a child to be in a safe area when they realize throw up is involved which limits the amount of carpet scrubbing time.

I know each child needs a lot of attention but she could have limited him to an area that was not carpeted and at the same time, limited exposure of a potential virus to the other children.

Hopefully he is over the virus. My daughter had it a week ago... awful stuff.

Yes, I'd say something to the front office right away, and also to the worker herself. Let them know you didn't appreciate the comment as your child was sick and it's not very compassionate or professional.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I would suspect 1 of 2 things happened

1) You didn't get offended at the time, because her tone & body language let you know it was just compatriot conversation. (Once more into the breach, dear friends! Into vomit, exploding diapers, nos, and no sleep!)

Then, later, without her there, you're thinking of the words on their own... Which could be extremely snarky. WTH??? Hullo. Kids! As in your chosen field, get sick!

2) Pre coffee, in a rush, and disliking confrontation... You ignored a snarky comment in order to not have to take your daughter home & miss work. (Because that's a knee jerk impulse. ExCUSE me??? You just said Wha?? I don't THINK so!" )

Now that you've done the responsible thing by going to work, your brain is saying "Interview new daycare".

___________

So... Totally friendly comment, or time to look for new daycare comment?

Only you know.

I can see why it would offend you a bit. But I doubt she meant anything by it. Even though it's her job, she may have either been looking for a bit of a thank you or just trying to make conversation. I know that even with my own kid, if she was sick all day, I appreciate a little bit of sympathy for me from hubby as well!

You totally do pay for them to care for your son, which includes vomit patrol from time to time. So you don't owe any extra anything. And again, I really doubt she was being hostile. I will say, I can understand why she may have wanted a little extra thanks (or sympathy), but I would also hope she asked how he was feeling or that she's glad he's feeling better. That balance would have made me feel more okay with what she said, and maybe that's what you were missing.