Religious Believers

I find myself again saying, "Yeah, what Dawn B said" lol. Also liked Victoria W's response.

Just wanted to add, as a fellow Catholic, if at all possible (I know you're on mild bed rest, so it might not be at the time)- find a good priest and go to confession- I think it will bring you some peace.

For the marriage issues, look into Retrouvaille

http://www.retrouvaille.org/

Blessings :o)

Victoria, God doesn't do this. He really doesn't. God doesn't give people Alzheimer's either. I know - my MIL has end stage Alzheimer's.

Go back to your Bible: Matthew 6:28-30 “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: and yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall He not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith.”

God doesn't say He takes care of the lilies but decimates you.

We all lose faith at some point in our journey. We all have doubts and wonder if God isn't listening. But it's not true. You are in a valley right now and the best thing you can do is take care of yourself physically so your mental place can get stronger. You are taking care of a growing baby inside you and that comes first. That's what God wants of you - not to work harder.

If you believe that God punishes for the things you are ascribing to yourself, that means that every single mother out there who has lost a child in utero, who has had pregnancy complications, who has had marital problems, has done something bad to deserve it and has been punished. Please don't attribute that to God! God is a wonderful presence in our lives. Bad things that happen to us aren't because God is punishing us. Things happen because they happen.

You have had 2 successful deliveries. No kidding, they were hard. I understand - mine were hard too! Pre-term labor from 24 weeks on with complete bedrest until delivering at 37 weeks. 23 hours of labor with both babies. The road can be hard, but you have MADE it twice. Three times is the charm. Try to look past the physical hardship of pregnancy and look to the PRIZE, that baby in your arms. Rest, eat right, smile a lot at your kids, and feel safe in the knowledge that God is there, by your side. Rooting for you. Don't think about needing to do something different. You are taking care of that baby and the vessel carrying it. There is no higher calling RIGHT NOW in your life.

Hugs to you,
Dawn

read Job! be didnt do anything wrong and look what happened to him! God doesnt give us trials to punish us.
God never gives us any trials that we can not handle.
He gives us these trials to strengthen us! the harder things are for you means you are going through a strengthening period.
if you rely on Gods help through this rough patch, you will succeed!
pray every day, even if you cant make it to church, if you still read the scriptures and pray you will get the help you need.
but you have to do what God tells you to do. meaning, if you get an instinct to go to church, then go!

good luck! and God bless!

God does not punish people. Ever. He is a loving God.
Sometimes we have trials, but we may not know "what" we are learning until later. It will all fit together.
Once you have your baby, find a nice church with a nursery and go!
Focus less on the law and more on the grace. :)

I think you need to re-read the book of Job.
Here's my thinking on what you have posted: First, when we are pregnant, our hormones make our brains work overtime and we read into EVERYTHING and try to explain any and everything that might or does happen with our pregnancy and child as a result of our actions. But, seriously, read Job.
We live in a fallen world, and everything in this world (not just the people) is corrupted by the fall. You (nor I) could no more "earn" a great pregnancy than we can "earn" being born with green eyes. That is why Christ came into the world. Yes we all suffer hardships. And yes it often seems that the people most oblivious to the grace of God (the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit) are the ones with the fewest "problems" and the smoothest sailing life. But it isn't BECAUSE they did or didn't do something, nor is it BECAUSE you did or didn't do something. God sends the rain on the saved and unsaved alike. He pours out his blessings on ALL of us. The only difference is that the saved recognize from whence those blessings come. That's it. Some have more suffering and hardship than others (people, not saved vs. unsaved). It isn't because you have missed some Sundays at church. But I will say (since you are Catholic) that going to the place where God says he is and will be to receive the gifts he offers (the Sacraments) will strengthen you to be able to endure the suffering and obstacles set before you. God doesn't necessarily take away our suffering (this side of the New Heaven and New Earth), but will supply you with all you need to endure THROUGH it.

I hope this gives you some peace.

God loves you. Satan is the one giving you the negative thought process. Resist him and he will flee from you. James4:7

Okay - take a deep breath...every person and pregnancy is different.

God NEVER gives you more than you can handle..this I know and trust.

Spider veins, etc. are all cosmetic - stop stressing over cosmetic issues and focus on the health of you and your baby....

God does NOT punish us because we don't go to church. I FIRMLY believe this. So please - continue to pray and talk with God - turn all of your concerns over to Him and He will work it. Your prayers will be answered and not always not the way you want or expect, but the way that God feels you need in your life!!

GOD BLESS!!

Here's some advice from a non-religious, non church going believer in a higher power. Not every single thing that happens can be attributed as an act of God, even most of the religious people posting here don't believe God would punish you for not going to church. You are pregnant, you are sick, stress and worry will make it worse, not your lack of church attendance. Think of all the sweet, loving, Christians you know who have had challenges and greif in their lives. Do you think they deserved it in some way, of course not and neither do you. If praying is your thing then pray but take the peace in talking to God not expecting an answer.

I'm also Christian (Protestant) and grew up believing that God directly influenced every part of my life and if life isn't going well, then I'm doing something wrong. I no longer believe that. I've seen enough of life to know that how our life is is affected not only by ourselves but also by circumstances. I don't see God's hand directly in any of it.

I do see God's hand helping me to live but He allows me to make choices that then influence how my life goes. And.....my choices are there to help me learn and grow. There are choices that make life more difficult but I always learn from them. In that regards there are no wrong choices; only choices that don't work for making my life comfortable.

I strongly believe that God is not punishing you and that he is by your side helping you thru this if you believe that He will help you. It's our attitude that determines how close we are to God and how we manage when negatives arise in our lives.

I believe that God allows natural consequences. For example: we make a habit of drinking every night, become alcoholic, lose our health or our job. Not because God caused this to happen. God allowed it to happen. We chose the path that led us there.

We learn skills along the way that help us make better choices and handle the choices we make. I could say that God has a lesson for you in this instance. But it's not a lesson, such as should've gone to church more, unrelated to the event. Perhaps the lesson is to have more faith that everything will work out for the good. I see good in everything I experience, even when the experience is painful. The good is that I learn a lesson or two or three.

I do believe that jealousy is a "sin" tho I don't believe in sin in the traditional way. The way we feel or the way we act determines how are lives are lived. When we do something counterproductive to our own well being and happiness we have "sinned" in the Biblical use of that word. I see the Bible as giving us similar lessons as some of the more modern psychologists. The language is just different.

Jealousy makes you unhappy and hinders your loving relationship with your sister. Perhaps the lesson in this is to learn to accept life as it is, feel compassion for yourself and to let go of the jealousy of your sister.
J doubt that you did anything to cause pre-eclampsia just as your sister didn't do anything that prevented her from having pre-eclampsia. The pre-eclampsia just is. What our attitude about it is up to us. We can improve our attitude with faith in God. God will help us cope.

I don't think of God as a person. He's a Spirit that can reside within us if we want Him to. That Spirit becomes a part of who we are. That Spirit allows us to have faith that everything will work out for the best. The Spirit is positive and doesn't punish us. He teaches us and guides us as we make decisions and live our lives.

Going regularly to church may be what will help you deal more effectively with your life. If so, then this can be a lesson to teach you to begin going again. But your pre-eclampsia isn't punishment for not going.

I too am Catholic and know God doesn't work that way. He loves you dearly and wants to see you happy. Just ask for His help. Pray for peace and for you to leave the desert you're wandering around in. I pray you are filled with his Love and Peace and that your days are much happier from now on.

God does not punish us for not going to church.
God does not inflict illness upon us. He can help heal us, but he is not the cause of your medical condition.
It is up to us to take care of the bodies that we are given - and you are doing that.
We all deal with jealousy sometimes - that pesky free will that have. But you are not being punished for that.

*Ex. from my life: I have been unemployed for 10 months - been on countless interviews, lauded for my experience, but still not chosen. A good friend whom I adore lost their job in a blaze of scandal and was re-employed within three weeks. Oh, I was so jealous I literally could not tell my friend congratulations. Prayed on it, and then realized that, for them, getting a new job was a huge, emotional healing for them. They needed a job more than I did.

While it seems that some people have "it" easier than us, I think it is that we are stronger than them and able to handle more adversity. I

Of course you are meant to be pregnant - else you would not have gotten pregnant. God will take you too it and lead you through it.

Follow you Dr's directions, take of yourself and your baby, and don't be vain about the veins. :) You will come through this pregnancy fine and be with your children for a long time.

I'll send a prayer up for you to feel better.

God Bless

Ahhh. I can't add much more to the good advice you've already recieved...but now I am wondering if the hideous veins I have had since I was 9! YES NINE! are a result of God not loving me...?

Mama, this is life. God loves you. God loves your children and your husband. I know a wonderful Christian battling cancer right now and another who recently delivered her baby 8 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia (both doing great!).

Scary situations indeed. But these women have trusted God to get them through and He is.

Being a Christian is far, far more than going to church once a week. I would encourage you to start praying and reading your Bible.
That is-pray and then read. God is there.

Best wishes. And congrats on the baby boy. :)

It warms my heart to see so many great responses for you.
I would have to have a slight disagreement with Cheryl. God does give us more than we can handle! That way we have to ask Him for help.
He has most certainly given me more than I can handle: alcoholic parents and brother, no family that cares for me outside my husband and sons, an armed robbery/home invasion, pre-eclampsia with both pregnancies, a stroke, open heart surgery, thyroidectomy, lung cancer (lost half a lung)--just to name a few things that have happened to me! I don't think I did anything to deserve those.
I was also feeling depressed after the lung cancer. I went to see Soul Surfer and that really helped me. I am always reading about people who have overcome adversity. When we don't let it make us bitter, it makes us better.

Updated

It warms my heart to see so many great responses for you.
I would have to have a slight disagreement with Cheryl. God does give us more than we can handle! That way we have to ask Him for help.
He has most certainly given me more than I can handle: alcoholic parents and brother, no family that cares for me outside my husband and sons, an armed robbery/home invasion, pre-eclampsia with both pregnancies, a stroke, open heart surgery, thyroidectomy, lung cancer (lost half a lung)--just to name a few things that have happened to me! I don't think I did anything to deserve those.
I was also feeling depressed after the lung cancer. I went to see Soul Surfer and that really helped me. I am always reading about people who have overcome adversity. When we don't let it make us bitter, it makes us better.

Relax. Pray for peace. I am also Catholic, and also had horrible, miserable pregnancies, but I have the gifts of beautiful, healthy children. As much as I hated pregnancy (throwing up the entire pregnancy, dehydration, pre-term labor, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, bedrest at 5-6 months each time), I tried to focus on the end result, a child. I know that isn't always easy to do, but God isn't punishing you. He's blessing you with a child. Unfortunately it's not always an easy path. I hope the rest of your pregnancy gets easier and that you find some peace for yourself.

God isn't punishing you. That's not how He operates. He loves you more than you can ever know. I think perhaps you are entering a new stage of surrender with Him. That's wonderful, although it may not feel so great right now. Keep praying, and trust Him with all your heart. God is in control. You might like to read my blog post from this morning. I think it would speak to how you're feeling.
God bless you!
L.
http://susannasapron.blogspot.com/

It is normal for a woman to worry about dying and leaving her kids motherless, but I honestly don't believe this is God giving you a sign that you shouldn't be pregnant. That pregnancy is His miracle to begin with. God has brought me through the roughest of times and I know that I will come out the other side stronger mentally, physically, and in my faith. Remember that God will never leave you nor forsake you.

Here's what I think. A lot of people...most of us at one time or the other.. We are guilty of thinking that a message on Sunday is enough and if we are super righteous, we might go another night. But that's not just what God wants. Church is for worshiping and meeting others and lifting each other up. But God wants so much more than that. He wants us to put him first in all ways. He wants us to talk with him all the time. He wants us to read his word constantly. He wants us to want him more than even our husbands and kids.

I've struggled a LOT of years to figure out how to put God first. I have wondered a thousand times aloud and asked people how we can put him first when it takes so much just to survive in this world. But let's be honest with ourselves. When we are in a good patch, how much do we think about God? Do we study his word and pray always and think about him morning noon and night when things are going well? We usually only do those things when things are rough.

I believe that when we are worrying we are needing more of God and when he puts us on bed rest or some sickness lands us in bed, he's TELLING us that he wants more of US! When we are flat on our backs, what else is there to do?

I've spent the last 8 months or so studying everyday, shutting off the tv, listening to preachers online, making prayer lists, trying to figure out how and why things bother me too much and why I worry and how to be all the things he wants me to be and I've always wanted in the midst of this crazy busy life. God has shown me in a variety of ways that Faith and Fear are opposite of each other. The Bible tells us that faith comes by hearing the word. Fear comes when we don't have the right kind or enough faith. In other words, we can't be in both fear and faith at the same time. If we are fearing then we aren't putting enough of ourselves into God's word. Or I should say, we aren't putting enough of God's word into ourselves.

It is a blessing to be able to have children. It is something only women can do.

Victoria,

God loves you. God loves you. God loves you, just the way you are. Please do not think that he is trying to punish you or you need to try harder. It sounds like you need to cut yourself some slack! Your human and just because you have spider veins and your sister doesn't, doesn't mean that she doesn't have any issues or isn't dealing with any hardships. You don't know what she is or isn't going through---Give her support and try to not compare. God gave your circumstances in your life because he KNEW you could handle them. He won't give you anything you can't handle---

Stop second guessing yourself and accept yourself as you are. God loves you just like you are and not for how many times you go to church or for doing things----You can't earn HIS love.

Take care,

M

God is not giving you these problems. God only gives good. He gives what He has and what He is and that is good. You are meant to be pregnant. God gave you another baby. Life isn't perfect and you are not being punished for not going to church every week. God is a merciful God despite what some people think or believe. He is not up there shaking His fist at you (or anyone for that matter)

I don't mean to be flip. But, trust me, if God punished people for not attending Mass my pregnancies would be much, much harder! I'm Catholic, but rarely go to church and am getting around to getting my 4 year-old and 7-month old baptized next weekend, but only because my mom arranged for a priest friend to do it since I couldn't/wouldn't attend the baptism classes. So, I think if that's how God rolled he would have me in his sights!

I believe you are over analyzing every little detail.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

I think God tests us sometimes but I don't think he would do something bad to us. He wouldn't put any more on you than you could handle. I wouldn't say that you weren't meant to be pregnant. i wonder if once you get pre-eclampsia you are high risk for any other pregnancy. I think you have been down on your luck lately and are sad. Have a good cry and then you need to suck it up and pull yourself back together again. You can do this. Think about all the people whose child may have cancer or may not live through tomorrow. think about what could worse than what you are going through now. You are very blessed to be pregnant where as some people cannot.
Good Luck with all of this.

Aside from the religious beliefs, you sound like you are depressed; please ask your doctor what you can do to help with this without medications, like doing something that helps you not to think about it. Since you’re in bed rest, exercise is out of the question, but maybe a hobby that you can do sitting down (reading, knitting, ect.)
As for God, he is a loving God that would not punish you, but maybe you should look at what you’re going through as a learning tool and try to identify what Gift is coming out of all of this; maybe you’re learning how to “let go and let God”, maybe this is making your marriage stronger, maybe it’s to let you realize how fortunate you are to have your kids and all you have and learn to appreciate it? I don’t know because its different for everyone, but think that every trial is a Gift from God if we can only see it.
Have a blessed pregnancy.

Going to church more would have no effect on your pregnancy.

You are pregnant because babies are wonderful blessings. Does the timing of it mean you should stick to your marriage. I would lean towards yes. (don't know the back story)

Each woman's pregancies are different. In part because the hormone/DNA combo of your babies are different than your sister and your body is responding more harshly to the new growth.

Now I could see some of the issues being tests as to how much you love and want the pregnancies, but a punishment. No, I don't see that.

M.

Go to mama Mary, she knows. She suffered as a mom and had to watch her son suffer. Praying the rosary works wonders for me.

I relate to your situation and was very angry with my third pregnancy, kinda felt the punishment thing too.

I write a lot about motherhood and spirituality on my blog: www.feedingmyhungry.com

Maybe you'll find something there to inspire you...I have four children and am a Catholic mom who struggles, too.

Oh! And just noticed we are in the same area. I live just north of Cincy. I'll be praying for you, sister.