ok so i need some help. my boyfriend and i have been together for 7 years and we have a 2 yr old daughter together. but thats not the problem. we just arent the same as we use to be i mean i know that people change but it is like we are no longer attracted to each other we never see each other he is either working or alseep and when we are around each other we are fighting. and i am afraid to leave him because he said that he will take her away from me and if i get custady he will run away with her and that i will never see her again. i dont know what to do??? all i know is that i am not happy anymore and i havent been for a long time. i just dont want to lose my daughter. HELP!!!!!
You need to talk to a lawyer if you really want to leave him. I don't know what state you live in but most states side with the mother and he would have to prove you an unfit mother to get custody. If you are afraid he will run off with her you can request that he only have supervised visitation. Hope this helps.
Sounds to me like you guys get along, but you just aren't head-over-heals anymore. Which is completely normal! What you need is a babysitter. The two of you need a night together to reconnect. Look at him. He may not make you weak to your knees anymore, but now your love is different. Look at it that way. And if time together (without daughter) doesn't work... try time apart. If you're completely unhappy, miserable, hate him, etc... then you need to have a sit down with him to discuss your concerns... he may feel the same way.
If his feelings are similar to yours, could you try to sit down and talk to him and see if you guys might be happier apart for a little while? I just got divorced after almost 10 years this past April, we have 2 daughters together and unbelievably, we have remained friends (with a few rough spots of jealousy and anger here and there) but it's so much easier if you can work something out and just talk through your feelings with him. I know when we decided to divorce, it was like a weight was lifted off our shoulders. I'm not saying it's ok for everyone to get divorced, but things had also changed with us. I couldn't make myself have sex with him anymore, which of course, made him unhappy and we just weren't getting along. I know our kids don't miss the arguing. Now they have a happy mommy and a happy daddy, just separate. Good luck with everything.
No one should ever threaten you, especially when it comes to your own child. Get out now and don't listen to his BS. Document everything he has said though! In Ohio, a mother automatically gets primary custody (regardless of the situation--even if you are not employed, it does not matter, you get custody). Since you are not married, he would have to take YOU to court just to get visitation. Also, child support and visitation are two seperate issues, so don't be worried about that. Just because he has to pay support, DOES NOT give him ANY rights at all, just remember that. Sorry, but if anyone ever threatened me with my daughter, I would run, not walk. You can do it. I am doing it right now and, no, it isn't easy, but it's well worth it! I, and most importantly my daughter, are a 100 times happier. you don't want your daughter to grow up like this, so I would do what you need to do to leave.
